Nervous,scared and still hiding...

[cdkelsi]

I think that sum's up what's going on with me. Another year is almost up and I am still hiding and haven't step out. More and more I am going crazy. I have had a little rituall the last two months that after I get off of work I will get dressed only in clothes since I have no hair or makeup at the moment and drive around for awhile before heading home. Alot of times i will drive to some spots along the water and get out and walk and sit a bit which is toally a great feeling for me. Being it's 1-3am in the morning there is not alot of people around and I feel confident even not totally being enfemme. However this is not cutting it. I want to go out I want to meet other people dressed as who I see myself as and that is Kelsi. I just dont know what to do. I am very nervous, scared and still hiding. Thanks for the read. All the best to whoever stops by.
Kelsi

[kim85]

Why not see if any of the other girls live near you.It could be something that you do with them.
Good luck
Kim
xxx

[Joy Carter]

Kelsi, you have to get in a support group. Or find a couple of friends.
I tried one support group but didn't join.
But I do have some girl friends to talk with and go out.
They are looking for the same thing. So it works to both your benefits.

[MJ]

hi Kelsi

you know we all were like you at one time. can you find a group that meets in your area ? baby steps is the key so relax get a plan together .. try makeup find a good wig then meeting some of the girls .
don't be nervous or scared you are doing nothing wrong let the woman in you out slowly you will be fine
hugs mj

[RobertaFermina]

Set a goal for *not being alone* and one for *going out*.
Open a place in your dreams for these goals to be fulfilled.
Never mind how, just set your sights on them.

When opportunities to take a concrete step in these directions appear...eventually...you will identify these steps as yours to take *NOW*.

Till then, keep on dreaming the good dream.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[sterling12]

Hi Kelsi:

We all had to make a start somewhere. ALL of us who have ventured a little further "along the road" have gone through a lot of the same things. The fears, the frustration, all part of that package.

I have made this offer to others, and now I extend it to you. You are lucky, because you can come to a Tri-Ess Meeting right in your home town. Tri-Beta of Tampa/St. Pete is a great place to start, non-threatening, and a heck of a lot of fun. If you feel uncomfortable dressing, you will get to decide when your ready to do more. But be warned, the usual reaction is "Why the heck didn't I try this before....this is exhilarating!" Just ask Charlee, and Ronni, and Penny, first time for them last month.

If you want more info, please PM me. I've done my part, the next step is up to you.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Nicole Erin]

CDKelsi - I guess you know by now but I sent you a PM.

[Eugenie]

Dear Kelsi,

I personally find that you are very brave to do what you are doing...

Going out alone is one thing that really frightens me... I've done it once or twice and it scared the hel out of me...

I find far more secure being with one or two "sisters" when I'm going out "en femme". I also like going to a private evening organised in some one's house or in a protected environment such as a restaurant where one room has been reserved by an association such as Tri Ess. But as long as I'm not alone, I don't mind going to a regular restaurant.

But that's my perception of feeling more secure with other CDs than alone in a crowd. Actually I would be even more scared being alone at 3 AM in the morning with empty dark streets than in full day light, protected by a crowd around me...

:2c:
Eugenie

[charlie]

I think that sum's up what's going on with me. Another year is almost up and I am still hiding and haven't step out. More and more I am going crazy. I have had a little rituall the last two months that after I get off of work I will get dressed only in clothes since I have no hair or makeup at the moment and drive around for awhile before heading home. Alot of times i will drive to some spots along the water and get out and walk and sit a bit which is toally a great feeling for me. Being it's 1-3am in the morning there is not alot of people around and I feel confident even not totally being enfemme. However this is not cutting it. I want to go out I want to meet other people dressed as who I see myself as and that is Kelsi. I just dont know what to do. I am very nervous, scared and still hiding. Thanks for the read. All the best to whoever stops by.
Kelsi
Kelsi,
It is scary going out and feeling like a man in a dress! Go and find a TG Bar around Tampa that caters to transgendered people and go there dressed. You will be accepted and have lots of people to talk to. Even dressed you will not be chided or harassed at all. Give it a try and tell us about it in the Out and About section!

[Sinthia]

I love to walk. I found a place on the edge of town that is quite woody and alongside a creek that lots of people like to walk on. Many even walk their dogs here. In the fall, I see highschool track kids, both boys and girls, running here. This is the place that I started walking dressed in panties, bra and a skirt. At first I was a little intimitated, but as the walking increased, the better I felt about it. A few ladies commented on my attire, and when I apologized if it offended them, they all said 'You can wear whatever you like, I have no problem with it'. Even the men smile and say hell. Most people look you in the eye, so I do not know how many realize what I am wearing, but the ones that do smile. So try looking for a place where people walk. It might work for you also. Good luck.

[cdkelsi]

Just wanted to say thank you to you all. You are very nice and I appreciate all that you said. I will be looking and trying to do it all. I am just hoping to meet some great people and hopefully some great friends. All the best to you all.
Yes Joanie I would love to talk to you I look forward to it.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

When I started wearing skirts this past summer for the first time, I wanted to be out and about, I choose to walk in a local park for exercise in the early morning hours. I usually walked in a flowing Nike tennis skirt with a feminine blouse, no wig etc. Many people would simply say hello to you, nothing more unless you started a conversation with them. On Weekends I'd start the walk later in the morning, hence meeting more people. Builds up your confidence, but now it's too cold for skirts, you need to add legwarmers to your wardrobe, they really work and they are sexy legwear in my opinion.:happy:

[annieelmira]

Kelsi, et al...

I just have to say how amazing I find all of you and how eye opening it is to read these types of stories.

As a gay guy, I never even blinked when I started to do drag... it just kind of came natural. I think that we queen have it so much easier because we are so over the top. When I jump outta my car to run into a store for cigarettes in drag, everyone (barring a few nitwits) has a "gay" ole time...myself included.

I applaud each of you for being as brave and strong as you are. It can't be easy, sometimes feeling that you just don't fit in with any group (I know there's a better way to phrase that, but bear with me please. I just can't think of it at the moment!) and not having many people understand your desire to dress.