Busted !!

[Jill]

Pardon the french but dammit I hate this sometimes, why do I have to be a CD? Why can't I just be a normal guy who lives a normal life?

So here's the short of it, I live at home, in my parents basement. I'm home alone today so naturally I'm all dressed up, no wig or makeup though. I thought I heard someone in the house so I get up to investigate and as I'm going over to the door my cousin is coming around the corner. I slammed the door in his face but I know he got a quick peak. He lives in a different state but is in town and came by to deliver a couch with absolutely no heads up or no warning whatsoever, just showed up. This kid is like a brother to me and I awkwardly got dressed and helped haul the couch inside, feeling the tense awkwardness between us. He was with his fiance' who was waiting outside in the truck. We didn't speak a word about it and I feel completely freaked out and embarrassed that he saw me dressed in womens clothing.

After the couch was in the house, we kind of said some awkward good byes and he was off. I sent him a text apologizing for the incident and asked him not to tell anyone. He text back and said that he didn't really see anything and that he didn't need to know and also said he wouldn't say anything to anyone about it.

I feel like crap about it, I hate being caught like this but this is really only the second time I've ever been actually caught and seen in drag, ever. I don't know, maybe it's a big deal because I'm making a big deal out of it. Maybe I'm over reacting, I don't know but it's causing me a lot of stress here. It is what it is and I can't change the past. But it's hard for me to let it go and not think about it. It's eating me up inside, why do I put myself through this?

[tina jayne]

hi sorry about your little miss hap but some times as they say it goes with the job. there will be a time when you think you are 100 per cent ok your be all dressed up and before you realise you have been had .weather its mum dad who ever but remember what you do as in your fem side is still you so try not to worry, have a good day bye for now tina:love:

[Gemma1968]

um that does sound like a complete nightmare. i wonder if your cousin has ever dressed in ladies clothes, maybe you should ask him! i bet he has.

try not let it worry you too much, it's no big deal and hey if he didn't see anything then yes you might be over reacting!

[lisa_e_love]

Getting busted is...not fun. Usually you want to have long conversations with people, even close friends or spouses, before they ever see you dressed and then to just have someone walk in unannounced and BAM! It really gets the heart racing.

If he says he didn't see anything, I might believe him. Worse comes to worse he just thinks that you were up to no good in some other, more common way. I hope that wasn't too vague.

In any event, I'm sorry you got seen so unexpectedly, but do try and forget about it. Worrying about it won't make a difference in how your cousin reacted or is reacting.

[SiobhanW]

Man, don't you just hate people that pop over. I mean, OK so it's your folks place and I'm guessing they knew he was stopping by? If they didn't, that just makes it worse that he did! If they did, it sure would have been nice of them to let you know!

My wife's daughter has what I consider to be the offensive habit of stopping by unexpectedly with her kids, and letting herself in with the key she has for emergencies. No notice, no knock at the door, nothing! And it's not like this was her family home or anything before I showed up - she's never lived here and therefore (IMHO) doesn't have any of the rights to free movement that come with growing up in a place. I had complained, and complained, and complained about it to the wife to no avail.

Well, even when I'm not dressing I have a tendency to be a free sprit, and quite often swan around the house buck naked. So imagine the collective horror when I fly down the stairs thusly one day whilst the wife is out, thinking I was all alone, only to find my step-daughters kids sitting on the couch! I can only imagine the uproar there would have been if I'd done the same dressed!

[Littlej10]

I sympathise with your misshap. I had a great scare with our window cleaner in the summer, this may not sound very threatening but he is very chatty and often has a cup of coffee with my wife and I, and, I assume, with most of our neighbours. I was in the garden taking some photos of a me in a new outfit when I looked up and saw him through the living room window. The room streatches the width of the house and there is another window directly opposite which he was in the process of cleaning. The problem with these situation is the panic reaction, like you I started rushing around to shed dress and remove makeup, dodging from room to room as he moved around the windows. I'm sure that he saw me originally and a more casual reaction would have attracted less attention in the long run. We have never mentioned the episode and I am sure he has not mentioned it to my wife or neighbours. I think you can rely on the discretion of your relative and relax.

[MJ]

if you were out to everyone that would not be a problem ... why should we hide and do a quick change every-time someone comes to the house.. you don't have a secret anymore i think it's time for damage control sis

[Christine Kelly]

I would just forget about it, Jill.
I'm sure he has. And if he hasn't?
Who cares? I know you do, but in this day
and age, I am sure anyone he might tell would
look at him like he had lost his head.

Often, we tend to build up scenarios in our heads,
due to the shame we feel about dressing, that
are completely unfounded. The best thing you can do
is just go about your life as if nothing happened.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Do the math sis.....you live there he doesn't, he came by unannounced, AND CAME IN !!! You said you were alone so he LET HIMSELF IN. Doesn't matter if he's family or not. What if you had been having sex on the sofa or something?

He's embarassed because he knows he was wrong. He learned a valuable life lesson. So let it drop.

If he was gonna freak and tell the world he wouldn't have told you what he did. Now make the best of it. If he brings it up again then educate him about us. If he doesn't then enjoy the privacy he probably will be desperate to restore.


Emily Ann

[Stephenie S]

Yeah, the more YOU make of this, the bigger the problem will seem. Just forget it. You spoke to him, he spoke to you, the incident is behind you. Move on.

Stephenie

[Jilmac]

Jill, I can't begin to count the times i've been totally busted and the near misses. most of the times were family members.:o i think they were more embarrassed than I was. Bottom line, there will probably be other times you will be made, so don't sweat the small stuff, because it's all small stuff.
0.02 JiFem9ll

[Michelia]

I know the shock you must have gone through but it is over.

You can get a video camera setup for a few hundred dollars or better yet a little alarm trigger that lets you know who comes in and out. I am ready to do that myself.

A few days ago, a tenant that lives in the back had cooked some food for my son and I since she realized we were home by ourselves. Somehow my son left the rear door unlocked and this lady let her self in. I was in a nightgown with pink leg warmers and pink booties (the type that are woolly inside) and a little lipstick. Luckily my son met her on the way to me and stalled her.

What gets into people that feel they should not even knock? I have never done that even at my parents house!

Michelia

[Michelle 51]

Well i have sympathy for you.I.ve never been caught but had a couple of close call and just that was enough.My wife says i,m taking tooo many chances and one of the children are going to catch me but i sure hope not.Its sad that we carry so much shame about cding compared to what some people do and have no shame. justabit

[katieblush]

Try to let it pass give it a bit of time or your burn yourself out.

One fine sunny day at home on my own thought it would be a good idea to change my nail varnish so i did,totally forgetting i had no socks on the door bell rang and i answerd it guess who? the Avon lady at the door standing there her eyes drifted to my feet and then i remembered ohh dear she never said a word just gave me a book and left,i can laugh at it now but at the time it freaked me for a while.

The same thing happenned at the Hospital my "back went" so into a room i go and in walked a nurse with a junior nurse who i had seen before lets say we did not see eye to eye i had to take my shirt off and lie down,then she said can you take your socks off please, OH NO i had red varnish on my toes i could not take them off so she did
she looked at me and said its ok we have no "secrets" here,she left the room well i felt like #### bad back now this,when they both came back she sat down had a chat with me and i had the priviliage to see another side of her very polite and nice my wife still jokes about this now,so try not to worry xx

"Pardon the french but dammit I hate this sometimes, why do I have to be a CD? Why can't I just be a normal guy who lives a normal life"? you have a gift,normal life whats normal everyone on this plant is different,normal naw thats boring.

[Deborah]

I suppose i'm overly cautious of "visitors"

1. Why didn't you lock the door?
2. Did he have a key?
3. If someone was in the house why didn't you change first?

;)

[Ðarissa]

Personally I will always knock before going into somebody's place unless I know that they expect me to just come in and have told me so.

The whole issue of people coming over unexpected and 'just coming right in' is one that makes me very paranoid. This whole hiding thing is very annoying and I'm soooo tired of hiding everything. Why oh why do I have to feel that my CDing has to be in the f-ing closet. I don't ever wish I didn't CD and that I was a normal guy and I wouldn't be all that normal even if I didn't CD. :p Being paranoid and hiding stuff, sucks and hearing a noise and looking out the window to see who is there is a pain. The neighbors slam their car doors and it usually sounds like it's in my driveway. I'm gonna replace their car doors with ones made of foam rubber. :heehee:

[Jill]

I suppose i'm overly cautious of "visitors"

1. Why didn't you lock the door?
2. Did he have a key?
3. If someone was in the house why didn't you change first?

;)

1. The door was locked, he was able to get through the gate and find a door open in the back of the garage. He must have jumped the fence because there is a lock on it too.

2. No, he did not have a key.

3. I didn't have time to change, it happened so fast, he came inside and made his way downstairs very quickly.

[Mitch23]

I must admit I do have a problem with those who choose to violate my personal privacy. it is thoughtless and disrespectful. you have a perfect right to be dressed as you like in your own home and have no cause to feel ashamed or embarrassed. your call whether you choose to chat with him about what he saw. personally i wouldn't unless he brings it up

mitch

[Tigs]

Siobhan W - If I were you I'd find some reason to get the locks changed and neglect to get a spare key cut. We all need our own space and privacy, it's not being rude - it's about respecting other peoples boundaries :) Good luck!

[CathyKR]

1. The door was locked, he was able to get through the gate and find a door open in the back of the garage. He must have jumped the fence because there is a lock on it too.

2. No, he did not have a key.

3. I didn't have time to change, it happened so fast, he came inside and made his way downstairs very quickly.

It's worrying (at least it would be, to me) that you don't have any privacy, not even in your own gaff. You say it's your parents' house, but you live in the basement, so it seems to me that you have more privacy rights there over your cousin. I'd have a word with him and ask him not to let himself in without knocking (particularly jumping over the fence!) next time. Sounds like he may:

1. already know that you CD;
2. have suspected you'd be there on your own, and therefore are likely to be dressed up; and
3. have wanted to catch you in flagrante.

I'd have been livid with him.

[Annaliese]

Pardon the french but dammit I hate this sometimes, why do I have to be a CD? Why can't I just be a normal guy who lives a normal life?

So here's the short of it, I live at home, in my parents basement. I'm home alone today so naturally I'm all dressed up, no wig or makeup though. I thought I heard someone in the house so I get up to investigate and as I'm going over to the door my cousin is coming around the corner. I slammed the door in his face but I know he got a quick peak. He lives in a different state but is in town and came by to deliver a couch with absolutely no heads up or no warning whatsoever, just showed up. This kid is like a brother to me and I awkwardly got dressed and helped haul the couch inside, feeling the tense awkwardness between us. He was with his fiance' who was waiting outside in the truck. We didn't speak a word about it and I feel completely freaked out and embarrassed that he saw me dressed in womens clothing.

After the couch was in the house, we kind of said some awkward good byes and he was off. I sent him a text apologizing for the incident and asked him not to tell anyone. He text back and said that he didn't really see anything and that he didn't need to know and also said he wouldn't say anything to anyone about it.

I feel like crap about it, I hate being caught like this but this is really only the second time I've ever been actually caught and seen in drag, ever. I don't know, maybe it's a big deal because I'm making a big deal out of it. Maybe I'm over reacting, I don't know but it's causing me a lot of stress here. It is what it is and I can't change the past. But it's hard for me to let it go and not think about it. It's eating me up inside, why do I put myself through this?

Jill sorry to hear what happen. You have every right to be srtess. That is the life we live as crossdresser. It dose get easyer as you get older.

Hang in there, from another girl form Utah.

Anna

[SiobhanW]

Siobhan W - If I were you I'd find some reason to get the locks changed and neglect to get a spare key cut. We all need our own space and privacy, it's not being rude - it's about respecting other peoples boundaries Good luck!

I have no problem with her having her own key, or even stopping by to see her mom. Actually she looks after the cats when we're away. The big issue is not calling ahead to see if it's OK. Why someone would waste the time diverting to see someone who may not be home is beyond me in the first place.

I almost think I'd love her to show up while I'm fully dressed, just so I can say "See, and you thought seeing me naked was bad....." :devil:

[Wendy me]

Jill sorry to hear you got busted ......at home alone and thinking you were free to do as you like... how close are you to your cousin??? can he be trusted not to tell ???.... i have had a few times the narbor walked in and no were to hide.... so i know the feeling......

[charlie]

Pardon the french but dammit I hate this sometimes, why do I have to be a CD? Why can't I just be a normal guy who lives a normal life?

So here's the short of it, I live at home, in my parents basement. I'm home alone today so naturally I'm all dressed up, no wig or makeup though. I thought I heard someone in the house so I get up to investigate and as I'm going over to the door my cousin is coming around the corner. I slammed the door in his face but I know he got a quick peak. He lives in a different state but is in town and came by to deliver a couch with absolutely no heads up or no warning whatsoever, just showed up. This kid is like a brother to me and I awkwardly got dressed and helped haul the couch inside, feeling the tense awkwardness between us. He was with his fiance' who was waiting outside in the truck. We didn't speak a word about it and I feel completely freaked out and embarrassed that he saw me dressed in womens clothing.

After the couch was in the house, we kind of said some awkward good byes and he was off. I sent him a text apologizing for the incident and asked him not to tell anyone. He text back and said that he didn't really see anything and that he didn't need to know and also said he wouldn't say anything to anyone about it.

I feel like crap about it, I hate being caught like this but this is really only the second time I've ever been actually caught and seen in drag, ever. I don't know, maybe it's a big deal because I'm making a big deal out of it. Maybe I'm over reacting, I don't know but it's causing me a lot of stress here. It is what it is and I can't change the past. But it's hard for me to let it go and not think about it. It's eating me up inside, why do I put myself through this?
Jill, I rather look at this dressing as an additcion. We can't really stop. Even therapists say it is very hard to stop. So we go and say we will be tough, purge our clothes, and feel like crap when we see a great dress in a window...and then it starts again. My hat is off to those on this forum that have come out and told their friends and family this is who they are. I can't do it. It sounds like you can't either! So this is how it is going to be. Don't stress about it. You can't change what has occurred nor change yourself.

[Nicole Erin]

What if you had been having sex on the sofa or something?
Emily, I love you! You are too hilarious! I did spit milk all over my desk when i read that, thanks a lot!

He's embarassed because he knows he was wrong. He learned a valuable life lesson. So let it drop.
Too bad said cousin didn't walk in on grandma naked, then he would REALLY have a good life lesson.
Emily Ann

Well Jill, it is a very akward feeling. I think we all have akward stories of getting caught or almost getting caught. But seriously, what is he going to say to anyone? "Well, I walked in on my cousin "Jill" unannounced and he was wearing a dress." Yeah it ain't gonna happen.

[Cara Allen]

Pardon the french but dammit I hate this sometimes, why do I have to be a CD? Why can't I just be a normal guy who lives a normal life?

So here's the short of it, I live at home, in my parents basement. I'm home alone today so naturally I'm all dressed up, no wig or makeup though. I thought I heard someone in the house so I get up to investigate and as I'm going over to the door my cousin is coming around the corner. I slammed the door in his face but I know he got a quick peak. He lives in a different state but is in town and came by to deliver a couch with absolutely no heads up or no warning whatsoever, just showed up. This kid is like a brother to me and I awkwardly got dressed and helped haul the couch inside, feeling the tense awkwardness between us. He was with his fiance' who was waiting outside in the truck. We didn't speak a word about it and I feel completely freaked out and embarrassed that he saw me dressed in womens clothing.

After the couch was in the house, we kind of said some awkward good byes and he was off. I sent him a text apologizing for the incident and asked him not to tell anyone. He text back and said that he didn't really see anything and that he didn't need to know and also said he wouldn't say anything to anyone about it.

I feel like crap about it, I hate being caught like this but this is really only the second time I've ever been actually caught and seen in drag, ever. I don't know, maybe it's a big deal because I'm making a big deal out of it. Maybe I'm over reacting, I don't know but it's causing me a lot of stress here. It is what it is and I can't change the past. But it's hard for me to let it go and not think about it. It's eating me up inside, why do I put myself through this?


Last things first... You put yourself through this because of your guilt. Simple truth is that you are ashamed of what you are, Jill. I don't mean to be mean honey, but be honest... if yuou were proud of being a CD, you wouldn't feel guilty. It might even be funny! Go easier on yourself, please?

Also, there was good news in your email, too! You have already crossed the bridge of bringing it up. Fortunate for you, you seem to have "come out" with someone that is at least understanding. It might make you feel better to at least explain what it is with you...

You are not a freak, honey. You are someone with great legs!!!

I have a very weird and somewhat scary Busted! story, so if you are weak of heart (like you won't read it after I said that!) you possibly should go to the next message.

My father was a very uncommunicative person who also was a physical abuser.. not sexually, but a beater.

I started dressing at a very early age (2 or 3?) and never stopped. When I got a little older (I was probably 10 or 12,) I would make breasts out of water baloons and dress in my sisters clothes. I had the most amazing places to hide the water baloons... under my bed, (alright...maybe that was not that creative) or in the water tank of the toilet. (Do you have any idea how cold that water is???!!! Go and check...Dare you!) I would wake up at two or three AM and go and play dressup. I don't know what woke me up, but like clockwork, I did. Dressing in my gender was a very calming experience and one night, I went back to bed and fell asleep in a tulle slip (that frilly material that makes little girl skirts stand out, like a poodle skirt.) I remember waking up some hours later to discover my father staring at me from the doorway. I don't know what happened next. Believe it or not, I went back to sleep. After I awoke, I remembered that it happened. We never talked about it. It never came up... but I knew that he knew.

That kind of thing, when you grow up, is good for at least 6 therapy sessions...

Cara:thumbsup:

[ronna]

Lissen up, Jill, every time you dress up you risk getting caught.
That's part of the thrill, isn't it?

[Cara Allen]

Lissen up, Jill, every time you dress up you risk getting caught.
That's part of the thrill, isn't it?

Not for me! I have enough stress in my life! The best times I have had were when I had the place to myself for a week or so, and I could do whatever I wanted without the fear of getting Busted!

[Jill]

Getting caught has at times been part of the thrill but not by your younger cousin who you think of as a brother. I understand that everytime I dress I run the risk of getting caught and at almost 30 years old, this is only the second time anyone has ever actually walked in and seen me dressed, I am very careful.

In further discussion, I am a little ashamed of who I am and what I am, I'll admit it. Why? I really don't know.

[TxKimberly]

Well Jill, given recent events in my own life, I feel your pain lady! It sounds as if he has made a sincere offer to keep it to himself so I think I would let it go unless he has questions. If he does have questions, you might as well be as honest as you can with him. I dont know about you but I'd rather have someone have a clear picture of what I am than let their imagination go wild.

Good luck and take care!
Kim

[Megan70]

Pardon the French but dammit I hate this sometimes, why do I have to be a CD? Why can't I just be a normal guy who lives a normal life? ......

Posted by charlie90802
"Jill, I rather look at this dressing as an addiction. We can't really stop. Even therapists say it is very hard to stop. So we go and say we will be tough, purge our clothes,
through this?

The above statement are true and I tried to make reference to those exact things last week in a thread but it came out wrong, was totally misinterpreted by all, and I got crucified. I was speaking for myself. I know what you mean when you ask yourself "Why do I have to be a CD?". This parallels by unfavorable comment that being a CD is a Curse... BUT TO ME ONLY!, this is not a generalization of painting everyone with my brush.

For all the wonderful times we can have feeling dressed and feminine and exploring our other side so easily, incidents like this you mentioned just trump it and cancels some of it out sometimes.
But We girls always seem to bounce back, purge clothes are re-bought, those emotional, sexual and deep psychological feelings keeps coming back as they always will.

I've often asked myself if I turned back the clock to 8 years old and never dressed, how different would my life be now. How many others would not be affected by my dressing. But in the end i always come around to believe that through it all, good and bad, busted or safe I would have been missing a wonderful experience that i have enjoyed to the hilt all my life and Ii give my loving wife great homage for her acceptance to it.

I agree with most everyone here Jill, let it pass and move on. Sure you'll remember it and have body shaking flashbacks ( like I still do on being caught fully dressed twice), but you've got a great group of supportive sisters here to offer you their sincere kindness.

Respectfully,

Megan

[Jill]

I just talked to my cousin on the phone. We just made light, casual conversation, talked about his brothers and his business mostly. We didn't talk at all about the incident that happened yesterday, which is totally fine by me. He was really cool and we talked casually so I think everything is all good. Like I said before, he's like a little brother to me. I have experienced a lot of grief over this incident but I think it's going to turn out ok.

[Jill]

Just a funny thought I had, I think we should have seperate forum just for incidents where people have been caught or busted. We should call it BUSTED!!

[jonnie64]

Sorry to hear! I know exactly how you feel!

Something similar happened to me when i was 17. It was a holiday (don't remember which) I was home from school and mom was working. I was spending the day in pantyhose, heels and bra when a friend decided to pop over. He didn't knock however, he came around to the back of my house and looked through the window..........I was mortified! He didn't tell anyone, but needless to say he kept it hanging over my head until he moved out of town (thank God) six months later.

And BTW, you are just as normal as anyone else. Don't beat yourself up over this!

[Sinthia]

Sorry to hear that your cousin dropped in unannounced and saw you dressed, but that is bond to happen to all of us. My father-in-law came in my house one morning and saw me dressed. One of my brothers, a neighbor, etc. The sky did not fall on me when it happened. I just say that it is something that I like to do, and would appreciate it if they did not tell anyone about it. Speaking in person instead of a letter, or email, is always prefferential. You can get their feelings and they will seem more at ease.