No Support From Parents

[thatgirl]

ok tuseday i went to see a therapis with no warning of going till my parent told me that morrning, i came out to them earler this year, and we went together, it went ok. it was a christain therapis, at the end i had no support from anyone there. My parent want my clothes out of the house so that i wont dress anymore, im like WTF!! their not helping me become a girl that i want to be( i didnt want them to help me anyway) but they dont support me, at all, so i said fine ill get them out of the house but I WILL NOT STOP DRESSING AS A GIRL, i want to, they say they love me and care for me but their not going to support me on my decision, BTW i an secretly transiting anyway. now i dont give a S**T if they notice something different i wouldnt care. My parent dont like gay lesbain people even TG/CD/TS/TV so they are afriad of changes, my sister and bro agree to what im saying, ( they dont know about me yet) we had this similar talk with some cusin of our while out of town for thanksgiving. i will move out till make enough to support myself when i do. :sad::mad:

[GypsyKaren]

I strongly suggest you talk to someone who knows what they're doing. The one phrase that I see over and over again that always sends up a red flag with me is "I want to be a girl." That's something a true transsexual would never say because to us we've always been one. Transitioning is a life changing event that is not to be taken lightly, so know who you are before you do anything.

As far as your problems with your parents, it's their house so it's their rules, so move out if you want your freedom.

Karen Starlene

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Misty, :hugs:

I love you girl, but you are dealing with all this while really worked up. You have Christian parents who believe the only course of action is to change you into a different person than who your are. But Karen is right, be sure of who you want to be. I thought when I was about your age, that becoming female would be the answer to who I was. I didn't do it, and am very happy I didn't. You see, I didn't need to change my sex to become who I am, Denise, just needed a change of attitude. Now, as a male, I'm happy with who I am, Denise, a feminine male if you will. Do what you feel is best for you, but don't do it in haste, when stressed, angry, confused. And as Karen said, talk with someone long before any unreversable decisions. Good luck with your family; a family can be a very important thing.

With all my love and respect,:love:
Denise

[noname]

Obviously you didn't have a choice but to go to the therapist of their choice. It shouldn't be a surprise it was one that held their views. I'd be surprised if this therapist had more than a 2 year degree. If your parents are open to other therapists I recommend finding one who specializes in this field.

As for moving out, it's tough when your young. No one wants to pay a livable wage. Not to mention many places of employment are not open to this and laws vary from state to state. I will offer this though. Apply for jobs in large corporations. They are the most likely the more support than small organizations. Don't worry about qualifications, I applied at a fortune 500 company but was not hired due to high qualifications, yet a line cook was hired. So don't be afraid to apply!

Best of luck

[thatgirl]

i know i am a girl, ive always been different from everyone elas and im not just a crossdresser wanting to be a girl, im a ture girl on the inside, i never accpeted myself for along time, till i relized a huge flash back from the past after my 20th bday last year, i mean it was no ordinary kind of flashback it was full life review of what ive been throug, i am a girl, and want to live a full life as one. i remenber when i was young, no internet, never heard the word crossdressing before, never though it exist, but i say to myself that i wanted to be a girl since then, i was a kid who dose kids stuff but always felt different, i never fit in, i get very emotional, made fun of. i never relized that my past made a huge different in finding myself that i have done for 21 years. i dont want to be miserable, i dont want to be depress anymore, i want to be happy. Im never happy, i live life as a normal 21 male would just so everyone can be happy, but what dose it for me. :sad: Right now i feel hurt, i'll i wanted was for my parent to accepted me for who i am so i can begin, but look like they dont. they dont want me to change.
MY LIFE IS NOT UP TO THEM, IT IS FOR ME TO LIVE MY LIFE THEY WAY I SHOULD HAVE LIVE. NO ONE CAN TELL ME THE RIGTH FROM WRONG. if you dont like it well let me tell you what ive done for 21 years,SUCK IT UP BE A MAN , BITCH:mad:

[thatgirl]

sorry about the last post, i was really getting into, right there, im not mad at any of you. it just all that ive been through my whole life, i am mess up on the inside(not doing durg or anything like that) but through drepression no one new about, alot of confusingness, yes i grew up with christain family, im not turning my back on god, but i sometime dont know who i am. sometime i ask myself why am i still here. I have a reason to still be living. :(

[GypsyKaren]

but i sometime dont know who i am.

This is what I'm talking about Misty, and you sure better know before you start down a one way road.

Karen Starlene

[jandebs]

Misty, i'm figuring you're twenty one. Don't waste your energy battling with your home life. Just take time with yourself, and quietly, methodically work on a plan to get out of there. Start to work on options about where you might live, and how you can support yourself. It doesn't have to be an act of vengeance, and there's no point in being consumed with conflict. It's a natural process to move on at your age, after all, and there's nothing you can say or do at this stage to change your parents' attitude. And staying at home will just continue to make you feel like there's something wrong with you.

I too had parents completely unable to accept how i was as a child and after a completely traumatic incident I kept myself to myself emotionally and worked on a plan to get out. It took years but I got it together. Once you're out you'll be able to find yourself as your own person.

[thatgirl]

thanks for you understanding, and yes im am 21, and still working on making sure i can make enought money to support myself in all needs. i am trying not to let it bottle up inside but its just like every day i feel that way, but i always keep it to myself. and try to make the best of it till my dream finaly come ture.

[Kieroney]

If it helps, I'm going threw a life change myself, except I have two kids and a wife, one is only two years younger than you in college, wife is getting freaked out bad, and is trying to undestand, my two cents, your parents will come around, people do not like change, and this one :happy: will take them alot of time to deal with. At least you had the guts to tell them, my Dad, brothers, sister do not know. Just take a deep breath, smile,getting all worked up does you no good.

[Joanna-Louise]

Heya

Ive not really posted this info before but feel it could help your situation.

When i moved back home (south of england from the north of england) 4 years ago, i was living as a part time CD, and full time with the underwear under my "male clothing". Of course whilst i was in my relationship for 1 1/2 years i stopped completley.

When that ended i fell apart, started dressing all the time, and even spoke to my thereapist who was helping me battle with depression about transitioning. because i had little friends left over from the relationship break down she advised me to move back to my parental home so i could "find myself again and have the help and support i needed.

After 2 hrs of staring at the phone i called my parents and explianed everything, wow they were so supportive (untill i moved).

6 months later i was told to move out, i was still living as steve but part time as joanna, they didn't want to help etec etc and basically told me if i transitioned they would completly disown me etc.

Ive now made a comprimise with myself, yes ill goto cd/ts weekends to meet ppl and yes ill live as joanna when im at home/ wear underwaer to work and whilst out and about, but the drift between me and my family has become so severe i cant go all the way to be the girl i know i am, as i know i have too much to loose.


Im sure when you move out and find your own style, and level things may work out that trsnsitioning in just your mind will be enough and find the comprimise as i did that will make peace for everyone....

[EDNA]

I did not have the problem. As my Parents were on my side and helped me.

I have know Male Crossdressers. That had the problem and it took time. For thier parents. To come around and be Okay with it.

I have been around and seen a lot of things.

That people put down Male Crossdressers, but I never seen a Female Crossdressers. Being put down.

This is do to the fact. That so many girls. Do not wear dresses anymore.
So people can not really tell. If they are a Crossdresser or not. Plus thier parents. Had no problems with thier duaghter dressing as a man.

The only time I could tell. Was went a Female Crossdresser. Was out on a date with her Lesbian Mate.

Stay in there and things well work out.

[sterling12]

I'll agree with jandebs. Your twenty one, another year or two with your parents isn't critical. I know you probably think it is, and at your age a year or two seems like forever. Your growing up and you have to learn to be patient, and plan to meet your goals. And, you are getting too old to fight with them about it. Their life isn't yours, but to get where you want to go, you just might have to "buckle under" for a while.

First step, spend around 20 dollars a month and find one of those 4 x 6 x 10 storage lockers and get your stuff out of there before your parents destroy it all. Next step, find an LGBT support center in your area, and get some counseling and evaluation. They have experts in The Field and they can help you. 3rd step, go back to school, get a degree, make something out of your life. Then, you can move out, and you will have choices. When you have a decent job and can support yourself, things open up. That's what you want, right? Make a plan and do it!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Misty, :hugs:

As usual, a lot of good advice here, and as usual, Joanie pretty much summed it up. You're so young, and there's no hurry, so prepare with as much education as you can get. Your parents will come around, or not, but your life is yours to live and that's all there is. It took my 59 years to address who I was, but it only took you 21; I'm soooo jealous. To find out so young who you are is really amazing to me. Just prepare yourself for life, and the rest will take care of itself.

God bless, I happen to be a Christain too, and I think He has. With all my love and respect, and definite admiration for your youth, :love:
Denise

[thatgirl]

Thank you all for your good advice. i just want to say that i am contenuing school im already in the feild of work i want to be in, but wants to move ahead. All of my stuff are in the bad of the trunk, and wieghting my car down. i cant really afford a storge at this time becasue i have bills to pay like laser hair removal( i have posted a tread about laser hair removal) trying to work on my saving so i can afford what i want to do. my parents still love me, but they dont support my decision im making. ther has been some changes here and there like my hair has gotten longer and now striaghen it alot to look more girlish but pass as male. anyway thank you again for your support and advice and i will contruib it so my path.