Should I tell my therapist part 2.

[dianwb262]

Thank you so much for your response to my original question. Like I said I am new to this forum and am sorry if I offended anyone with my attitude, I envy all of you that are comfortable with crossdressing. It was unfair to just say that I was seeing a therapist for a unrelated issue. I have a 18 year old daughter who moved in with her boyfriend and having a tough time with that. I have only one more meeting with my therapist that my insurance will cover and would like to tell her but I am a coward and afraid of how she will react. I thought I would write a letter to her and give it to her after our meeting and ask her not to read it until I leave the area. What do you think?

[nancy58]

Tell your therapist. It was hard for me, too, and that was even with the comfort for me that I was talking to a gay male, who would surely understand about sexual "oddities". I could barely spit it out. When I told him, I finally had told one other human being who could look me in the eye that I am like this. I was able to tell my wife that night, and while it took a while, she accepts me for what I am, even though she doesn't want to see it. I think it was the most liberating day in my life.

Maybe you can work something out with your therapist, or maybe he/she can recommend a therapist who doesn't charge so much.

Don't worry that your therapist will judge you. If he/she is any good, he will keep his opinion to himself. It is not as though you are a child molester or a wife beater; he is legally bound to keep your confidence, unlike in those situations.

It may not be related to your problem with your daughter, but psychological stuff has a funny way of being interrelated.

Hang in there!
Nancy

[dianwb262]

Tell your therapist. It was hard for me, too, and that was even with the comfort for me that I was talking to a gay male, who would surely understand about sexual "oddities". I could barely spit it out. When I told him, I finally had told one other human being who could look me in the eye that I am like this. I was able to tell my wife that night, and while it took a while, she accepts me for what I am, even though she doesn't want to see it. I think it was the most liberating day in my life.

Maybe you can work something out with your therapist, or maybe he/she can recommend a therapist who doesn't charge so much.

Don't worry that your therapist will judge you. If he/she is any good, he will keep his opinion to himself. It is not as though you are a child molester or a wife beater; he is legally bound to keep your confidence, unlike in those situations.

It may not be related to your problem with your daughter, but psychological stuff has a funny way of being interrelated.

Hang in there!
Nancy

Thank You!!!!

[AllieSF]

Dian,

I know that it is a major difficulty for you to tell your therapist. However, part of that counseling process is to discuss those items that affect your emotions and well being. You are paying this person to help you and you should give him/her a chance to do just that. Keep hiding it and your help cannot be complete. Good luck.

[docrobbysherry]

[QUOTE=dianwb262;1103862] I envy all of you that are comfortable with crossdressing.

Dian, Speaking for myself, I am not comfortable with my CDing. The only ones who know about it, r the anonomous folks on this site.
Writing a letter to a therapist u r never going to see again is pointless. U may as well write the letter, then just tear it up.
Seriously, u sound like someone who needs help. A good therapist can do that. If it is your last visit, what could the harm be in talking about it? It certainly helped me, when I talked to mine about it. I say, do it!
RS

[marny]

Your theapist is presumably a proffesional. Your sessions are confidential. you should open up if you feel comforatable. to tell the truth my familly doctor recommened three therapists three years ago. Didn't see one. I knew more about TS, TG than she did. not to mention bleu mennies. Don't beleive everything you read on the net, but there is a lot of valid information here. :2c:

[Sally2005]

Spill your guts...if you don't they can't help you. If you are worried about privacy don't write a letter just tell your story verbally. You can always deny it later. :straightface:

How can they react? :eek:Throw you out? Call you names? :tongueout... I don't think so. They will just say, now that's interesting...tell me about it. Maybe they will have something to tell you that will help you feel better. ...when they get home they will tell their SO that their day was normal, just the usual half dozzen CDers to help today. You can do it!

[trannie T]

If you are unable to talk to your therapist and feel the only way to tell her is by writing a letter, give it to her before your last meeting.

[livy_m_b]

I don't like the letter idea at all. I would instead suggest raising it as a separate issue from that which you've been focussed on so far in the last 15 minutes of your session, and treating it as a request for information about therapists who might be experienced in that area. I imagine that you can work it in very naturally towards the end. I remember one therapist I had for self-esteem issues who after six sessions or so said that he had done as much as he could unless I wanted to go into "other issues" - said with a lifting of the eyebrows as if referring to a secret we shared. In that case I had advised him upfront that I had those other issues but that I wanted to focus on selfesteem separately. Clearly he was intrigued by the gender issues, but I had another therapist for those. I think its better to seek competent help for different issues separately, but the suggestion above will provide a nice transition, and give you some idea of your current therapist's background and attitudes.

[dianwb262]

Thank you. I know I should tell her in person and hope to. I actually have 2 more sessions with her unless my insurance approves more. I thought I would float this ahead of time. I am not only afraid of what her response would be but also my own. She thinks I am an "Intelligent Man", her words not mine. That will change. I go during lunch hour and doubt if I would be able to go back to work right after. I am thinking of taking the afternoon off on the day of my last meeting just in case. My thinking on the letter would be that I would not have to see what her initial reaction was. Then, after she got up off the floor, she could either contact me to come and see her about it, this would be my hope. Or she could refer me to someone else, which I would probably not go. I would not want to go through this again. It took a lot for me to seek out a therapist at all and I know that this will be probably my only chance to discuss this with someone. Outside of actually getting caught, that is. I only came across this forum a couple of days ago, so the timing seems to be now. It's kind of like therapy, nothing is said that I don't already know, but it's good to hear others express them.

Thanks.

[Ruth]

...Then, after she got up off the floor.. Come on, Dian, it's a big thing to you but to any trained therapist it's just client information. If your therapist shows any shock reaction to this little bit of information, get another therapist.
I told my therapist in our first session, she was very interested, and as soon as we were comfortable with each other, she wanted me to do our sessions en femme.
Therapy works best when the "real you" is out in the open.

[MJ]

Thank you. I know I should tell her in person and hope to. I actually have 2 more sessions with her unless my insurance approves more. I thought I would float this ahead of time. I am not only afraid of what her response would be but also my own.
She thinks I am an "Intelligent Man", her words not mine. That will change. I go during lunch hour and doubt if I would be able to go back to work right after. I am thinking of taking the afternoon off on the day of my last meeting just in case. My thinking on the letter would be that I would not have to see what her initial reaction was. Then, after she got up off the floor, she could either contact me to come and see her about it, this would be my hope. Or she could refer me to someone else, which I would probably not go. I would not want to go through this again.
It took a lot for me to seek out a therapist at all and I know that this will be probably my only chance to discuss this with someone. Outside of actually getting caught, that is. I only came across this forum a couple of days ago, so the timing seems to be now. It's kind of like therapy, nothing is said that I don't already know, but it's good to hear others express them.

Thanks.

but forgive me .. we are not stupid nor are we crazy.. your dressing has nothing to with your Intellect .. it's your fear thats the problem tell her she can help you

[dianwb262]

I know I'm over thinking and over dramatising this, but I've spent many years keeping this a secret. The thought of telling someone is scaring me. Thanks again for your reponses.

[tricia_uktv]

Honey, what are you frightened of? You're not killing anybody your not harming anybody. If you can't tell your therapist you'll not be able to tell anyone and it will remain trapped inside you.

Tell your therapist, and you'll feel a heap of relief inside,

Promise,

[Stephenie S]

Honey, this is you THERAPIST you are talking about. Therapists don't fall on the floor when they are told facts about their clients. Therapists don't consider CDers unintelligent. And therapists don't need letters about their clients AFTER they leave therapy. That would be about as useful as a bicycle for a fish. Isn't this person a professional? Therapists also have to know all about you in order to help you. How do you think they can work with only half a deck?

Anyway, I hope you haven't squandered all your therapy time. I hope he/she has helped you some with your problems. If your therapy is over, it would do little good to introduce it in the LAST hour. If you want to explore this aspect of your personality, find a way to extend your sessions or find another therapist who will treat you for less. Then bring it up in the BEGINNING of therapy. Thinking that your therapist will be shocked is a silly thought. They deal with people's problems all day, every day. That's their job.

Stephenie

[flatlander_48]

I know I'm over thinking and over dramatising this, but I've spent many years keeping this a secret. The thought of telling someone is scaring me. Thanks again for your reponses.

Nothing Ventured,
Nothing Gained...

[Carla4Guage]

Should you tell your therapist? Let's put another way, why bother to go to the therapist if you are not going to give out truthful information.
Im sorry to be so harsh, but do you think telling a professional a lie (I'm happy and not having any problems) is anyway to get the help you are wanting? You wouldn't tell the Emergency Room doctor that you feel great if your arm was broken, would you? Don't waste your time or the therapist, by not telling them the truth.

[marny]

First reaction. I haven;t looked at other responsens. Makes me think of my mother writing me out of the will. And I did everything for her. Do not accept it if you have a choice! Marny

[Kitty Sue]

I doubt your therapist would be shocked. Therapists hear about far more mind blowing experiences than cross dressing. I have never had anything bad come of telling a therapist I was a CDer. Your therapist can probably tell you are holding something back. If the biggest you have in your life is cross dressing you are indeed a blessed individual.

I say go for it and tell her. YOu will be fine. The sense of relief you will have will probably be enormous. Carrying baggage around all our lives is tiring and stressful. You are a valuable person. For your sake why not share it with another person i.e your therapist? I think you will be glad you did.

All the best, KS.

[lisa_e_love]

I don't know what your therapist is like, but I've definitely seen one who didn't listen so much as hear the slightest comment I made and then go running with it. So, in case your therapist is anything like that - be careful how you tell her. If you present your CDing as though it were a problem, he or she might think you want to not CD anymore. You might want to clarify that your therapist knowing will help her to better understand you and your other issues, and that you're not looking for the elusive CD cure.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Honey, what are you frightened of? You're not killing anybody your not harming anybody. If you can't tell your therapist you'll not be able to tell anyone and it will remain trapped inside you.

Tell your therapist, and you'll feel a heap of relief inside,

Promise,

Words of wisdom indeed!

When i began my therapy about 5 years ago... it took me 2 years before I told her about Zara. I can't begin to tell you how much eaiser it was to talk of everything else afterwards.

Like all things though you must follow your heart ;)