We're all so worried aren't we?

[noname]

We're all so worried. What is this person thinking? Is that person staring at me? OH MY Goodness I went for a drive! At night no less! I sure hope no one saw me walk to my car. Oh NoeS! Ever think it's all in your head. That no one really truly cares? I mean really, aren't there wierder people out there. Here is one for you.

A guy in my town rides his bike around town with tube balloons taped to his helmet. That's right balloons taped on his helmet.

[terrinoble]

That's what I discovered - most people don't really care. I used to approach outings with much trepidation. Not anymore.

[Kelsy]

The fear of what others think is a throw back to trying to climbing a social ladder in IMO. It matters when you are scratching to the top sometimes that if so and so likes me or what I do then i will get ahead. Many here have family and reputations that they have spent years building and do not want to jeprodize their place in society. CDing has the potential ,becos of societal norms, to destroy all that. Also I think many a cd thrive on the rush of being outed. Kind of like "look at me and what I'm getting away with!! Now if I were independently wealthy and knew that my children and friends would be supportive of me then I would throw all caution to the wind and just live en fem 24/7:2c:

Kelsy

[Deanna2]

We're all so worried.

I used to be but now I'm generally over it. I can wander around a ladies' wear department as though I have every right to be there.

[terrinoble]

I used to be but now I'm generally over it. I can wander around a ladies' wear department as though I have every right to be there.

Exactly! My money is green too.

(Apologies to non-Americans)

[Littlej10]

I only worry about the effect it may have on my family, not what the small minded gigots may think, so well away from home I do as I please and no worries.

[Amanda Shaft]

You know what they say: “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean to say that everybody isn’t talking about you!”

I don’t get worried whilst out its just getting past the neighbours that scares me to death.

Then again guilt goes with the whole cd package, it’s engrained, so it shouldn’t be surprising that as a group we express concerns about our Machiavellian ways. Just look at the number of avatars that have no faces for example, even here amongst friends it’s still difficult not to exhibit those entrenched fears of discovery.
Amanda

[Nicole Erin]

The fear of what others think is a throw back to trying to climbing a social ladder in IMO. It matters when you are scratching to the top sometimes that if so and so likes me or what I do then i will get ahead. Many here have family and reputations that they have spent years building and do not want to jeprodize their place in society. CDing has the potential ,becos of societal norms, to destroy all that....


Then there are people like me - My job is just labor and my friends are few.
I would rather have CD friends than "normal" ones anyways.
Next time I do make it out as Erin, I will dress away from home. Only reason for that - I don't want my son's friends to see Erin. If it were not for my son's friends, I would say the neighbors can kiss my ass.

[Edwina]

Exactly! My money is green too.

(Apologies to non-Americans)

NO problem. One of our notes is green too :heehee:

:love:

Edwina

[Carroll]

Though I don't go out very much dressed, I have taken the attitude "I don't really care who knows". When co-workers made comments (not mean) about my dressing for Halloween, I would (and still do) make a remark hinting I dress all the time.
Example; "Gez Chris, you look better as a woman then a guy".....RE:"I know, I've gotten lots of practice".
"Hey Chris, did you see the new bra's that came on the truck today?"....RE:I saw them, I didnt see any my size.

Most of the people I work with either know or thing I dress in womens clothes, but I have yet to have any negitive comments!

[Shelly Preston]

We worry because for some the fear is real

I wish I could say who cares but the ridicule and abuse you would get from the narrow minded may not be so easy to cope with

If you have to work with people that cant accept it you may find you dont get treated that way you would normally


Which could lead to all sorts of problems :(

[Nadia-Maria]

I belong to those who worry about others.
As a rule I take in account (or try do do it) , at least to a some extent, what others feel and think. For example, I try not be disturbing to them (I try to stay polite, I don't make too much noise, etc.) , I try not to hurt their feelings. And I expect the majority of other people to do the same with me.
That's just living harmoniously in a society.

As a consequence I would not go enfemme around others' home, since it could be somewhat disturbing for some families or close-minded people.
Around my home, it could be disturbing for several of the relations I have in the neighbourhood. Moreover I don't want to be mocked by some of them.

As a little baby I was dressed as a girl by my mother , and I have been mocked for years for that (long after it had ended ; when I was a child and a teenager).
It's very uncomfortable to live mocked by others around. I would not live that again.

Nadia-Maria

[Raychel]

The worry should rightly be there, Some of the people in the world are not as accepting as the people on this forum. Personally I have very destinctive vehicles, and with a business that could be damaged by the news that I crossdress. I find it necessary to be descreet.

Maybe someday the world will come around to ouyr side. But until then, be careful.

[il.dso]

Yes, I have a lot of fear about getting "caught."
Crossdressers are misunderstood (and feared) by society.
My crossdressing is a vital part of who I am. I mean no harm to others. Yet, for now, for me, unfortunately, it must be done in the privacy of my home. I certainly hope for a more tolerant and understanding world someday. Glad I can find comfort and support from this website, without fear!

[Melinda G]

I've said it many times. We are too hard on ourselves. Most people don't care. But it still pays to be discreet.

[marie354]

I call it 'the fear of the fear'. It is a lot better when you don't have this fear.

A lot of people...
a) Don't care.
b) Don't notice.
or
c) Accept you for who you are.

I've found that it's usually teenage girls that can spot me most of the time. The younger ones will ask you why you dress that way. (I told one... 'Because I can'. Hehe.) Most adults fit into a, b, or c above.
There have and always will be exceptions to this. It's a big world after all.
~~Sandy~~

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I call it 'the fear of the fear'. It is a lot better when you don't have this fear.

A lot of people...
a) Don't care.
b) Don't notice.
or
c) Accept you for who you are.

I've found that it's usually teenage girls that can spot me most of the time. The younger ones will ask you why you dress that way. (I told one... 'Because I can'. Hehe.) Most adults fit into a, b, or c above.
There have and always will be exceptions to this. It's a big world after all.
~~Sandy~~

YES!

"Because I CAN!" is my favorite response :)

I'm pretty much out to most everyone I know, but I keep it away from work. This society sucks in how some people think and bring their un-informed knowledge into the work-place in order to get rid of "undesireable elements".

*hugs*

[kaitlin]

Yes, I have a lot of fear about getting "caught."
Crossdressers are misunderstood (and feared) by society.
My crossdressing is a vital part of who I am. I mean no harm to others. Yet, for now, for me, unfortunately, it must be done in the privacy of my home. I certainly hope for a more tolerant and understanding world someday. Glad I can find comfort and support from this website, without fear!

AMEN...This is very well spoken....eerr....written! My only fear is the fact that some scared backwoods red neck will want to start a fight, Think of the head lines in the paper "Local Crossdresser beats off an attacker with a loaded purse" :thumbsup: Kaitlin

[terrinoble]

Three years ago, I was in Atlanta, and I certainly felt the fear walking downtown alone on a Saturday night...here's the story. (http://www.terrinoble.com/trip.html)

[charllote34]

This all depends on the person and their own experiances , some people have nothing to lose , but others do .Its not how i feel but how would the people who care for me feel if they found out from a third party and is that something i wish to chance ? The going out dressed and being starred at bit doent bother me , just hope they dont stare just try and blend in :D

[trannie T]

I am still a bit scared when I go out. I don't know what I should be scared of and the feeling soon passes. As long as the Fashion Police leave me alone I should be OK.

[Stephenie S]

Whoa there Nellie,

We are not ALL scared. We are not ALL afraid to go shopping, We are not ALL afraid of our neighbors. We are not ALL worried about our families our jobs, or our social standing.

I have spent well over a year on this forum trying (sometimes sucessfully, sometimes not) to teach everyone that 99.9% of the guilt and fear you have is in your own head only. That 99.9% of the people in this world are FAR, FAR too wrapped up in their own little problems to give a rat's patootie how you dress. Most people JUST DON'T CARE.

How do I know this? I did it and I do it. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. If you present a calm, guilt free, shame free, CDing persona to the world, the world will say, "Oh, yea? So? Well you think you got problems? Listen to this . . . . . .yada, yada, yada."

Store owners WANT your money. You could dress like Buster the Clown and they will take your money. The bank doesn't care what you wear to bring in your money, just do it. The supermarket wants your money just as much when you wear a skirt as when you wear jeans. Your boss just wants you to make money for him, and shut the f**k up about your problems on company time. I could go on and on here.

CDing is just not the big deal we like to make it out to be. EVERYONE knows someone who knows someone who . . . We are on Oprah, Dr Phil, Barbara Walters, in Newsweek and other national publications. Even when I get a cool reception (which has happeded maybe twice), I get acceptance.

A year and a half ago, when I was just beginning to talk to my co-workers about this, I wrote here on this forum, "Some think I am immoral, some think I am insane, but MOST just don't care". Since then, the ones who think I am immoral or insane have kept their mouths shut or changed their minds, and the others have displayed a bland indifference to my style of dress.

As long as you present a guilt and shame filled idea of yourself to the world, the world will see you that way. Once you learn that CDing is NOTHING to be ashamed of, and that, as a matter of fact, THOUSANDS of men do it (just look at the numbers on this one forum), others will see you as the perfectly normal American family man that you know you are.

All of you know, deep down, that you are just fine. All of you know, deep down, that you are perfectly adaquate workers, fathers, boyfriends, husbands, chuchgoers, and family men. It's time to show that to the world.

Lovies,
Stephenie