how did she find out

[aprilwall1977]

How did your s.o. or your wife find out you cds. My wife found my things .

[Shelly Preston]

I found it was easier to tell here before I was caught

see the link in my signature it might help

[Miss Petra]

While we were moving into a new house together she found my magic bag of tricks. It was only after our 4th date so I was glad to get it out in to the open. It only took another 16 years after that where I could accept the fact I was a crossdresser and once that happened she realized she would have to accept it to.

Petra

[Wendy me]

she kinda knew for a long time ....and never relay wanted to know .... lol when after a long long time i said i am a cross dresser and i wear women's clothes she was like stunned.... the words were spoken ...... she is not souportive...... not yet anyway.......

[katieblush]

I had to be open about it with her,i have tried in the past not to be myself it did not work,so the truth had to be told.

[Alice B]

Told her, but she already suspected it.

[Valerie Nicole]

Well, I currently have no SO at the moment, but I told my ex while we were still friends. She was instantly accepting and even wanted to see on webcam. When we dated, she loved to see me dressed up.

I think, if a relationship grows out of friendship, this is a step best taken at the friendship stage.

[Deborah Jane]

I told her...oops..Bad idea!! Now we are seperated waiting to divorce!!

[Nicole Erin]

I told her.
She is on and off about it. One day, the nasty insults, another day, she is understanding.

[TxKimberly]

How did your s.o. or your wife find out you cds. My wife found my things .

I told her about two weeks after we married. That was 20 years ago. :-)

[SandyR]

The garage went open, I was dressed. Ran upstairs. She waited about 3 weeks to tell me. Said she has known for a long time...

SandyR

[sami1952]

I told her after she found my clothes.that was 15 years ago.

[tricia_uktv]

Told her - too late

[jennCD]

After joining this board and reading and posting for a few weeks to gain insight and support, I worked up the strength to tell her one night before bed. She was shocked at first, posed the expected initial questions and then took a few days to work it out herself.

In the 5 months that followed, we've grown to be able to speak of my transgenderness openly and without any negativity (... tho I expect that my lack of any 'pink fog' delusions, my limited need to push jenn's exposure and my ability to be honest and understanding of her position in this has helped a great deal).

In hindsight, I wish I had told her long ago as we both place honesty as a priority in our family life. Yet, I'm sure that if I had done that, our lives would have not grown to the same point that I share with her now as she would not have considered a relationship with me past the friendship level.

We both feel that everything happens for a reason,... but we also know that we're not entitled to know all the reasons, and that's been fine by us so far.

:)
jenn

[Holly]

I old her beause it was the right thing to do. Must have been okay... we celebrate our 39th anniversary this month.

[Cristy.Cream]

My girlfriend and I fist met at a club in Boston.

She was wearing a lace top, pumps and mini.

I was wearing thigh high leather boots and a thong bikini

So day 1:happy:

She still borrows my clothes. Thank god she can’t wear my shoes

[shauna 9]

I told her.

[rachel_mead]

I told her after 14 years of marriage during which it was mostly repressed. The last year it was not and I had to tell her because I knew her finding my stuff is a bad way for it to come out and I hated lying about going out with my "sisters". I had to tell her and I am ever so glad I did because she is cool with it! She buys me stuff, we go shopping together, she compliments me, I think she's jealous of my skinny butt :-) We have a much better relationship than ever before and I feel better than ever before.
:hugs:Rachel

[JenniferR771]

Kept it hidden for 20 years--didn't think she would understand. She came home early--caught me wearing her clothes. "Honey, I have a secret hobby." Not at all understanding, but we are still together.

[Carla4Guage]

I told her. She made a joking comment one day that there was really nothing I could get away with, that she could always “read me like a book”. I responded “Oh, you think so? Well not exactly.” I told her that I did have a secret and I had been looking for a way to share it with her, but I didn’t know how to start the conversation. That conversation went into the early hours of the next day.
She now knows, still doesn’t completely understand, we have shared some counseling, but through it all the one thing that she understands is that I still love her. The councilor recommended very strongly that she not force a choice between my dressing and our marriage. (Thank God) – I don’t think we could have gotten better advice. She has not encouraged, supported or in any way promoted my dressing, but she is tolerant, and maybe one day…. Who knows?

["Mary"]

I am still in the process of telling/showing her just how much I enjoy it. Halloween prep starts earlier each year and is more and more extensive, other times casually slipping into things for a while now and then.... When asked about the oddity, I continually tell her that I REALLY like dressing in womens' clothes and think it's a lot of fun.

[Megan70]

We had been married only a couple of years and my wife came home early from church one Sunday and caught me in her clothes. It was a horrible day, crying, begging for forgiveness, promising (and) purging what little stuff i owned. We had a long talk about a subject she knew nothing about , totally foreign to her. She then said : you know I could get an annulment with the Catholic church due to fraud?", But we didn't and are still together 37 years later.

[Kelsy]

with advice from a dear friend and girls from this site, I told my wife before we were married! Best decision I've made!!

Kelsy

[Raychel]

I told her before she found caught me. That was a rough few weeks, but after we got thru that. I am glad I did tell her now. I am one of the lucky ones that telling her worked out good for. :thumbsup:

[JaytoJillian]

glitch in AOL software somehow saved my history train under her settings (I only log on as me) and always have the browser clear automatically. AOL has also allowed opened her inbox under my screen name. I should sue them-- at any rate I got a call from her while I was at work. In hindsight disclosed wayyyyy more than I should have, but it was somewhat of a weight off my shoulders. She said initially that it was "something special" but then she got nasty about it and told me that I didn't make a very attractive female-- said she didnt want to be married to a CD--then she flip flopped back and said that she didn't want me to stop doing it and that I shouldnt toss any clothes. In my case, not revealing the truth would have suited me better

[Stephanie-L]

The first time I told her, before we were married, and she was not accepting, so I tried to quit. We all know how well that goes, so the next two times when she found my stuff there were huge explosions. There was screaming, calling me a "Freak" and threats. Eventually things settled back down, and all I get now is the rare snide comment about my "past". Recently there have been a few thoughtful questions about why I dress(ed) so I have hopes of acceptance, but not a lot............Stephanie

[roberta47]

It all started 2yrs ago one night after a few drinks and she asked me to try some of her stuff on. What was supose to be a joke turned into something that I did not expect and she created a cd. It's been great so far and she loves it when we dress together and buy stuff for each other. I still don't understand all of my feelings but I guess thats expected. Oh ya she still likes it when I am in male mode to so I guess me and her have the best of both worlds.

[melissacd]

10 years ago (after being together for almost 15 years) I was working in he basement at night dressed up. Normally my ex slept through the night while I worked late. This one night she got up, came down to the basement and said it is late that I should come to bed.

I panicked, turned off most of the lights and hid in corner of the (the time unfinished) basement. She asked me what I was doing and I said that I was looking for something. She said get to bed and I said that I would be right up. I was sure that she had seen me in my femme clothes. I changed, tucked everything away and went to bed, heart pounding. I did not get any sleep that night.

The next morning she wakes up and asks me what I was doing hiding in the basement with the lights off. I realize at that moment that she did not see me. I ponder what to do and decide that I cannot hide this any longer. In the kindest and gentlest way I could I told her that I was a cross dresser and explained what that was. Her jaw dropped, she went into total shock, nothing I could say would console her. The next year was a living hell between us. We stayed together for the next ten years, never able to deal with this issue, went for counselling several times and in feb of this year she finally said that she wanted out of the relationship. Since then we have been working through a separation and should be out on our own by early in the new year.

So the outcome was delayed, but ultimately that revelation has cost me a 25 year relationship.

[dskin]

I have been cding for over 30 yrs.Told my wife ,two yrs before we were married,She was accepting ,curious at first,but it was who i am,And she sees that,i need that space in my life and won't change for anyone.still married 27 yrs.

[susie evans]

i told my wife before we were married one of the best discisions i ever made :hugs:

susie

[sanbra]

One night I "jokingly" put on her nighty and then told her I found it sexy. Sanbra was born and now she buys underwear and clothes for me.

[annekathleen]

If she ever found anything,

A) I'm a crossdresser and those are mine

B) I'm cheating on you and they belong to the other woman


I'm going with A

[StacyCD]

I told her almost a year ago. Right now we're in a don't ask don't tell kind of phase. However, she is very good about calling before she comes home. I'm hoping that we will move a bit further along the acceptance continuum but I don't want to go too fast too soon!

[MarciManseau]

with advice from a dear friend and girls from this site, I told my wife before we were married! Best decision I've made!!

Kelsy

It really is best to tell them first.

Hugs, Marci:hugs:

[Marissa_Black]

I've always felt it was best to tell them first. That's what I have done in every steady relationship I've had. It's something I will continue to do.

[Dixie]

My wife found out when we were still dating, after she had dressed me up for some kinky playtime. When I later confessed that I had done this before, although not with makeup on, she said she had that feeling and that that was one of the things she found attractive about me.

[cyancd]

I told my wife-to-be when we first started dating. She was and is only the second person I've ever told (the first was a previous girlfriend). We dated for 5 years and celebrated our 35th anniversary last October. I could not imagine keeping this side of me from the person I would be sharing my life with.

[terri7]

my best friend alwats teased me about my long hair...when she started brushing it and wanted to style it for me.. figured to take the chance and showed up at her house wearing my favorite bra under a tee shirt .. she giggled a little when she noticed and snapped my bra strap and whispered you're wearing a bra naughty boy ..and from there all was good ...is nice to finally have a friend to play with ...

[Davinnia]

I told my wife after 7 years, it had been building up slowly. I was already wearing satin nighties which she thought was just a bit a kinky fun. It was finally very liberating to say "I am a crossdresser", although she was confused by why I needed to dress, she is very supportive & has given me some lovely things to wear. My fem clothes hang next to my drab ones & I have a drawer of lingerie & nighties in our wardrobe.
I consider myself incredibly lucky to have a supportive wife, this year has completely changed my life for the better.

[kristinacd1]

mine found out about 2 and 1/2 years ago with a e-mail i got from e-bay about a wedding dress i bought..she thought i was leaving her to marry another woman...i had to tell her the truth i did and she accepts kristina very much...she told me it kinda turns her on...

[Jilmac]

:sad:I told so 1 and 2 right from the getgo, while we were dating. so 1 was repulsed and all through first marriage when she talked about it, she referred to it as "my problem". So 2 knew about it but thought i had quit. When she found out i didn't quit she was sad and disappointed. Neither so was ever supportive:(

[jennCD]

mine found out about 2 and 1/2 years ago with a e-mail i got from e-bay about a wedding dress i bought..

Oh lordie hon, a wedding dress? Sounds like you had plans huh?
LOL .... so how'd you look in it?

:)
jenn

[Kelli Taylor]

i think more people should tell their significant others ASAP!!! Due to the simple fact that you are being up front and honest. i did almost 20 yrs ago and we are still married. she wishes it did not exist but deals with it VERY WELL in my mind.
which is more that i could ask for. being honest will always take you down the right road although you can bet that road will have a few bumps in it 9 times out of 10. it's better than them finding out the hard way because it will only feed the thought of what else you might be hiding from them. catching them on a really good day in a really good mood helps too.

kelli:straightface:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

6 years ago I met this really COOl woman. Open-mionded about anything, politics, religion and yes crossdressing.
Before we decided to date we played a game of "dump your skeletons out of the closet and onto the floor". It was an interesting day parading her through my cemetery!

We've been married 5 years now and going strong!

[Mitch23]

she found my stuff - but i think i wanted her to because i was fed up with lying and hiding part of my personality from her. a tough 6 months after 13 years of marriage and she still doesnt like it but we are still together - have thaws and frosty periods but we are getting there

mitch

[Dawn Marie]

A friend of hers told her she had seen me a a club. When my confronted me with it I didn't lie. I said it was me . She blew up. and almost ended our relationship, but I finally got her calmed down. She doesn't think I do it anymore, but I can't help myself, Dawn is a part of me and always will be. Some day I will tell her, I'm just not sure when.

[Diana L]

I told mine before we were married. She said she was ok with it but really wasn't. We habe been married almost 35 years now and she has become much more accepting, especially since I found out she was having an affair with my best friend.

Diana

[Brianna1]

Hi everyone,
I'm Brianna and this is my first post ever :happy: After my first marriage, where my then wife only found out at the end...she thought I was having an affair when she found my things...I decided to tell up front in any relationship. So far no1 is the only woman who knows about me that has been unaccepting! And there are plenty who know! I met no1 again face to face recently and after 15 years and she's still as mad at me now as all those years ago...some people just can't move on! I felt sorry that I hadn't had the courage to be open with her about my CD'ing. My next lady Sharon, was very supportive and I still know her now. She met my second wife Jenny and we were all good friends. Unfortunately now I am on my own again after 13 years. Jenny supported me from the word go and even bought me my first suspender belt and stockings. In 2001 after she got involved in BDSM as a switch, I became her submissive. Over the last 4 years when she took on a Master, our relationship gradually deteriorated as he was unemployed and I became fed up being the only decent wage earner. I tried to return the support that was given to me but had to let go in the end. I have found universal support in the BDSM scene for my way of life and despite the traumas of these last 4 years, I would go through it again. I certainly will not go into any partnership without being up front with my lifestyle. Hope I haven't been too long winded with my first post hehehe.:love: Brianna.