A Different Kind Of Pain

[GypsyKaren]

I know that my daughter and oldest son have been having problems dealing with me now, and I do understand that. I always tried my best to do for my kids, I worked 72 hour work weeks for 8 years putting her through veterinarian school. I didn't mind doing it because I wanted her to have her dream, that was important to me.

She kinda blew me off for Thanksgiving, and now she doesn't want me coming over to her office anymore with our dogs unless I do it as a guy, which is something I just can't do anymore. I realize it will take time for her to adjust to me now, but it still hurts and it makes me cry.

Karen Starlene

[SirTrey]

Hey Karen....I'm going through some similar things with My family...and I know a lot of us on the board do, too....My name change hearing was Wednesday, and I had a talk with My mother about it the Sunday before....I asked her if she would come because she was there the first time I was named, and I would like her to be there this time, too...She basically told Me that there was NO WAY she wanted ANY PART of this and that she had scheduled herself for work that day on purpose just so that she COULDN'T be there for it...and she added, "And don't call me and tell me when it's done, either. I don't want to hear about it." So I didn't. But I got My papers in the mail today. It's changed...and she is going to have to get used to the fact that I now HAVE My boy name. It's sad that families can make an already hard situation harder for us, isn't it? Sorry to hear you are having it rough. Hope you are feeling well otherwise. **Trey**

[Shelly Preston]

Karen I am saddended to hear that you daughter is having a rough time with your transition :hugs:

It may be you need to try and meet your daughter a neutral venue until she get used to the situation :sad:

[Kimberley]

Karen, I think she will come around sooner or later, just dont you give up on her. She probably doesnt quite know how to process this or react to it.

I will say a prayer that she realizes you are still there, just as you were before, only the wrapping has changed.

:hugs::love:
Kimberley

[Sarahgurl371]

Karen I am sorry to read that. I don't know what to say.

Maybe a letter explaining just how hard you worked for her to be able to follow her dream, and how little she would have to give so you could follow yours? It's just what people do when they love each other.

Nah, don't follow my suggestion!

You have said in other posts that you one son who was recently married is accepting? I would think that he would be your best asset in dealing with the others. Maybe time is all that is needed?

[Sandra]

It may be you need to try and meet your daughter a neutral venue until she get used to the situation


Karen this sounds like a good idea as she may be a bit more comfortable. She's going to need time to adjust and I hope this doesn't take to long.

:hugs:

[Di]

Shelly has a good idea.....I think she will come around.....it is her...not you...she will have to sort this out . Sorry you are hurt hon:hugs:

[GypsyKaren]

We've been keeping to neutral ground except for one time, but I will respect her wishes. I will also give her all the time and help she needs, I will always be there for her. One thing I won't do is play the old "do you know how much I sacrificed for you?'' card, I didn't do it expecting a pat on the back then and I don't want it now. It's just that it hurts to have one of your kids shut you out, I would embrace and accept her under any circumstances or changes, without hesitation or question. Oh well...

Karen Starlene

[Kate Simmons]

I can say I have an idea how you feel Karen. I also did my best by my children. The greatest thing I did for them, however, was allow them to be themselves. Even so, my Daughter was the last to know about me and when I told her, she turned he back on me and rejected me. My Sons had some issues but for the most part they understand and are okay with me. But my Daughter--my little girl--that hurt. She felt I was taking her Dad away from her by doing this and wants nothing to do with this person, even though I told her Dad was always there for her. The bottom line is my love for my children is unconditional regardless of what they think of me and I would gladly die for any one of them. That's what parents do, right? I guess my real crime is that I love and care about them too much. It's tough sometimes.:straightface:

[Cara Allen]

We've been keeping to neutral ground except for one time, but I will respect her wishes. I will also give her all the time and help she needs, I will always be there for her. One thing I won't do is play the old "do you know how much I sacrificed for you?'' card, I didn't do it expecting a pat on the back then and I don't want it now. It's just that it hurts to have one of your kids shut you out, I would embrace and accept her under any circumstances or changes, without hesitation or question. Oh well...

Karen Starlene

You're right, of course. You raiser her well, to make her own decisions. If she goes through that process and comes around, it will be willingly. She loves you, Karen. Have faith.

[AmberTG]

I think that having my kids turn their backs to me is my biggest fear in transition. That won't stop me from proceeding at my own pace, but just thinking about that possibility is painful. My daughter didn't come around to see me when I was married to my ex, so I know some of the pain you feel. I hope she can adjust to the changes and realize that you are still the same loving parent that you've always been. I'm sure you already know this, but I'll say it again, it's her issue, not yours, and she has to come to terms with it in her own way and time.

[Sharon]

I think rejection by your children is the worst thing in the world -- it hurts like no other hurt. I hope your daughter comes around and tries a little harder to accept the reality of who you are, Karen, but the next move is up to her.

I won't compare my own turmoils with yours, but I know of what you write.:sad:

:hugs: :love:

[Holly]

No words of wisdom, dear Karen, just a :hugs: and a shoulder if you need it.

[Calliope]

So sorry you're in that bummer, Karen. But - "nothing cures like time and love," as Laura Nyro sang.

[Vivian Best]

I know in many father daughter relationships there is a very sizeable bond between the two! I know there is between my daughter and myself. When that bond is broken, it takes a while for the wounds to heal. Karen, hopefully, it won't take long for your daughter and you to develop more of the mother daughter relationship. Good luck.

[kerrianna]

I hope your daughter will come around to understanding how lucky she is to have a great person like you in her life. :hugs:

You're a very thoughtful gal, so I think you do a great job of not making things worse, but I know it still hurts. I really hope it works out for you guys. :love:


What? She wants you to cross dress as a guy to visit her? That's kind of weird. Hasn't she heard the news?

Karen is not a guy.

:rolleyes: Children!

[GypsyKaren]

We talked and all is well. She said she's just not ready to break the news where she works, so I'm cool with that, and she told me that she loves me, that fixes everything.

Karen Starlene

[Shelly Preston]

Thats great news Karen

I am delighted for you both :love:

[kerrianna]

:hugs: Yay! That's great to hear Karen. :thumbsup:


Because I bet the guy clothes are all long gone. You'd have to go buy something to pass as a guy in her office. :D

[CaptLex]

and she told me that she loves me, that fixes everything.

Karen Starlene

Oh yeah that's great to hear, Karen! Sounds like things are turning around there - I hope the rift mends very soon. :hugs:

[GypsyKaren]

:hugs: Yay! That's great to hear Karen. :thumbsup:


Because I bet the guy clothes are all long gone. You'd have to go buy something to pass as a guy in her office. :D

I couldn't hide the boobs...

Karen Starlene

[kerrianna]

I couldn't hide the boobs...

Karen Starlene


You'd have to borrow a set of binders from one of the guys. They could help you pass. :D

[Siobhan Marie]

Karen honey, I'm so very sorry to that you've been going through a rough time lately. I'm so pleased that things are working out between you and your daughter. If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here and I always will be. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

:hugs: Siobhán x