M2F Only

[Kris]

Male 2 Female Only

Did you go read the FAB members only post I wrote in the loved ones section? If not will you please do that before answering.

What does the affect on M2F members who have tolerating or excepting SO's to know that women in their lives don't get enough sex?

How does it make you feel that they (some not all) miss sex with their men and they have to concentrate to get into another head space to enjoy sex while their SO's are dressed?

:hugs:,
Kris

[Nicki B]

Did you go read the FAB members only post I wrote in the loved ones section?

Errr - you mean this one (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1103957#post1103957)? :strugglin

Kris, why do you think most of us struggle with all sorts of guilt feelings??

[Kris]

Errr - you mean this one (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1103957#post1103957)? :strugglin

Yes! That's the one!

[Marla S]

Is this a fair question ?

No it is not a fair question !:heehee:

How does it make me feel ?

Sad, of course :sad:

I have to admit, that I have felt not completely comfortable in either mode.
The one didn't feel complete ... well do what a boy's supposed to do and hold back the rest.
The other felt silly (semi-accepting SO)... that was before self acceptance (no reference since).

Over all, there was way too much thinking involved ... that is never good. Disappointments accumulate ... well ... we know where this leads to.

[MJ]

[QUOTE=Kris;1105925]Male 2 Female Only

Did you go read the FAB members only post I wrote in the loved ones section? If not will you please do that before answering.

What does the affect on M2F members who have tolerating or excepting SO's to know that women in their lives don't get enough sex?

define Enough sex... please what is normal and how many times a night/day are we talking or in the course of a week ?? is once a night ever enough ? ... women are never satisfied ...
and no before my name change my name was not Al bundy
How does it make you feel that they (some not all) miss sex with their men and they have to concentrate to get into another head space to enjoy sex while their SO's are dressed?

well i was not so lucky my wife found and that was game over for me what can i say i know it was sometime in june 3 1/2 years ago. with time and hormones i doubt i'll ever find out and or commit ... be it from shame or guilt or fear .. so i give up
hugs mj

[Kris]

Is this a fair question ?

No it is not a fair question !:heehee:

How does it make me feel ?

Sad, of course :sad:

I have to admit, that I have felt not completely comfortable in either mode.
The one didn't feel complete ... well do what a boy's supposed to do and hold back the rest.
The other felt silly (semi-accepting SO)... that was before self acceptance (no reference since).

Over all, there was way too much thinking involved ... that is never good. Disappointments accumulate ... well ... we know where this leads to.


Marla,

I am not purposely trying to make anyone feel bad, or sad. My point is, it seems like there is something happening that seems to be a common thread among cd'ers and their wives. Now, I can tell you in the population of women that I know, who aren't with cding partners, this is opposite. They can't keep their male SO's off them. I am wondering what the difference is....... why is this, and is there anything that can be done about it..?

Do you see my point? I know that I am a serious horn dog most of my life I have been but after I have a baby, I am worn out........ tired, and sex is the LAST thing that I want. I think it's from the drop in hormones. When I am pregnant, I am VERY aggressive about sex. So I understand the reason when I am most likely to push my lover off and tell them to get away from me.

What is the connection between cross dressing and the lack of desire? It's also not fair to say that you all just find nymphomaniacs as partners... :heehee:

So maybe I wasn't clear in the first post.

Sorry for that.

Kris


Male 2 Female Only

Did you go read the FAB members only post I wrote in the loved ones section? If not will you please do that before answering.

What does the affect on M2F members who have tolerating or excepting SO's to know that women in their lives don't get enough sex?

define Enough sex... please what is normal and how many times a night/day are we talking or in the course of a week ?? is once a night ever enough ? ... women are never satisfied ...
and no before my name change my name was not Al bundy
I would think that some would be happy with once a week, and others of course would like sex every day! Everyone is different. I have yet to hear anyone complain because they only have sex once a day.

How does it make you feel that they (some not all) miss sex with their men and they have to concentrate to get into another head space to enjoy sex while their SO's are dressed?

well i was not so lucky my wife found and that was game over for me what can i say i know it was sometime in june 3 1/2 years ago. with time and hormones i doubt i'll ever find out and or commit ... be it from shame or guilt or fear .. so i give up
hugs mj

I don't understand what you mean MJ.. I think your situation is different because you aren't a cross dresser, you live as a woman full time. More like you are a lesbian who hasn't had surgery. Please correct me if I am wrong.. And you're right, your wife was a jerk and kicked you to the curb.. I am more speaking of the M2F cross dressers who have an SO.

I have no doubt that you would be different than that. Please don't get upset with my response... You are a woman.. in my eyes. I can't even wrap my mind around how you would answer this.

:hugs: Kris

[Alex!]

As for me, my crossdressing stops when in a relationship. My sex drive is not affected by my crossdressing and I naturally assume the "traditional", but relatively uncommon American male role. I also feel extremely uncomfortable around women I am attracted to when en femme because I am interested in attracting them as a man.

It's an odd sort of thing. But crossdressers come in many shades and hues along the spectrum. Crossdressing for me can be easily stopped, especailly these days because the artwork that goes into making me look female is such a pain in the arse. Interestingly, I have more fun posing for photos and providing an illusion than in actually going out en femme, I think.

[aprilwall1977]

I dont dress around my wife except for panties that I wear 24/7 and she buys for me. I know my wife dose not approve of my dressing so I only dress when gone away from home

[Marla S]

Marla,

I am not purposely trying to make anyone feel bad, or sad.
I didn't understand it that way.:hugs:

It is always sad when a relationship doesn't work like it should work and the partners know it but can't change it.
You can translate "sad" as helpless.



What is the connection between cross dressing and the lack of desire? It's also not fair to say that you all just find nymphomaniacs as partners... :heehee:

Well, let me quote from the other thread.

As a girl I have to get into a different head space. I gear up like I am acting out a role in a play. I feel exhausted and not as satisfied when it's over.
Replace girl by boy and it is close to what I have experienced.
But in girly mode I wasn't free in my mind either. Mostly accusing myself for feeling odd or not satisfied, but partly also my Ex-SO.
With the result:

Lately, now that I realize things arent going to change my interest has been lacking, if he doesnt care, why should I?

Point is: It's a dilemma, because there are the same feelings (at least very similar) on both sides.

CDing in general: I think it can make a-sexual (partner wise), because there is always either a latent shame or an unfulfilled desire combined with the fear to get hurt or to hurt. That doesn't make sex fulfilling.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

It's an odd sort of thing. But crossdressers come in many shades and hues along the spectrum. Crossdressing for me can be easily stopped, especailly these days because the artwork that goes into making me look female is such a pain in the arse. Interestingly, I have more fun posing for photos and providing an illusion than in actually going out en femme, I think.

wow! get out of my head, girl!!!

That is my responmse as well

[Jaquelyn]

Ok, first off, with our relationship, my wife is the dominant person, especially in bed. That said, she always "gets her bell rung", as you put it, whether, I do or not. That's the beauty of a Femdom relationship for the female. So, all you GG's out there that ain't having that happen, consider a Female Led relationship. It will clear up alot of these issues with your male.
As far as enough sex, she would answer no, only because she would have me perform every night, and in real life, that just isn't always feasible due to time constaints, work, etc......
Lastly, she WONT have anything to do with Jaquelyn as far as intamacy goes, period. She is not a lesbian, and makes that clear. She will, dress me in panties and such, strictly as a punishment when we are playing- as a humiliation tactic. Jaquelyn, however, is not welcome in her bed, period.
All this said, I think anyone who is suffering intimacy issues, because of thier CDing, needs to reexamine themselves. Why is this happening? Is the CDer being selfish? Your wife, imho, is to be revered, loved, and cherished, always. SHE should always be first, both in life and love making. Again, I encourage everyone here, as I feel most of us CDers, are submissive males, to take a look at a Female Led relationship. Most of the issues raised here, will fix themselves, in this type of relationship. I don't think it will fit for everyone of course, but, I do think it has helped our marriage, and could potentionally help others. :2c:

[jennCD]

Marla,

What is the connection between cross dressing and the lack of desire? It's also not fair to say that you all just find nymphomaniacs as partners... :heehee:

Kris

That seems to be quite a generalization, since my level of desire has not changed at all since my wife and I began seeing each other some 12 years ago. Even after I told her of my transgender-ness, neither of us have been negatively affected by it as far as I can tell. In fact if anything, I seek more simply because of my nature... I mean sure, lack of sleep, long hours, not enough time in a day... that can kinda slow one's drive down a bit, but who I am in my head (as well as in my skirt) hasn't made a change for us in that respect so far.

[Joy Carter]

[QUOTE=Andreamfor;1105995]It's an odd sort of thing. But crossdressers come in many shades and hues along the spectrum.

Very good Andrea.:thumbsup:


As a husband I very much felt it was/is my duty to "ring her bell."
This is as important as saying I love you every day. :<3:

[Nicole Erin]

Some couples just don't want as much sex after so many years. My wife and I been together about 11 years. We still fool around once in a while but it is just not that important.

My lack of wanting intimacy is because I am deathly afraid of having another kid. I REALLY don't want another one for several reasons. [we just got one]

Her lack is probably from stress, health problems, whatever.

So as far as not getting enough, it is not too much a problem.

Of course when we are messing around, I don't wear femme things. That is the one time and place that my femme things do nothing for me. I am paying more attention to her than what I am wearing. Course I am always naked during the process of....

[Kate Simmons]

Quite honestly, none of this really surprises me Kris. I mean, why should it? My wife married a man and that is what she expected. Why would I expect her to expect anything less? She actually never even contemplated the "other" person during intimacy and didn't feel obligated to share with the "competition". She refused to put her head in that other space and when I was in a femme mindset, it was:"Sorry Charlie, no cigar."

Even when it became evident our relationship was suffering, she stuck to her guns. I have to respect her for that and honestly, I cannot say I would not have done the same thing had the roles been reversed. Do I blame her? Not one iota. I do blame myself for not sharing my real feelings with her because we loved each other and still do and could have worked it out. I didn't have enough faith in her. If I do get that second chance, I'm not going to blow it this time and that is a promise.

[vivianann]

I read the fab members only posts, WOW!!! very enlightening, I am saddened to see women not being satisfied sexually, us men need to step up and take care of our ladies and see to it that their needs are met, and that they are wanted, loved and cherished. I want to say to alarmclockgirl that I understand how she feels, I have experienced the same thing she has but in reversed roles, I have not wanted to dress enfemme when intimately involved with a woman, but I like to do more than the missionary position as they call it, I like to explore and try things if you know what I mean. I like the foreplay and I just love the the female body, wow just cant get enough of it. I have been told that what I want to do is gross or dirty or perverted, I always say not if you get in the shower and clean up, if you know what I mean, I am into oral big time, but I seem to cannot find a woman that will do that, I have always thought that I was the only one that way, but I now know that I am not. And it is good to see that there are women that are into other sex acts. It soooo frustrating to not be sexually compatible. I hope I was not too graphic and sorry if I was.

[Kris]

Kris, why do you think most of us struggle with all sorts of
guilt feelings??

I didn't mean to imply that anyone was struggling with guilt feelings, I will go back and reread what I wrote but that wasn't what I intended either. I have to admit that my brain and fingers aren't working the best together for almost a week now, so I am sorry if I made a mistake.


That seems to be quite a generalization, since my level of desire has not changed at all since my wife and I began seeing each other some 12 years ago.

Jenn,
I am sorry if you were offended if this doesn't apply to you. I didn't mean everyone went through this but it seems many do. I just wanted to find out if there were more than the ones who answered in the other thread and what the M2F's thought of it. Do they see it the same way, and wondering if anyone knows why.


Some couples just don't want as much sex after so many years. My wife and I been together about 11 years. We still fool around once in a while but it is just not that important.
Her lack is probably from stress, health problems, whatever.
So as far as not getting enough, it is not too much a problem.

Then of course this doesn't apply to you.


If I do get that second chance, I'm not going to blow it this time and that is a promise.

I believe you! :happy:


I read the fab members only posts, WOW!!! very enlightening, I am saddened to see women not being satisfied sexually, us men need to step up and take care of our ladies and see to it that their needs are met, and that they are wanted, loved and cherished. I want to say to alarmclockgirl that I understand how she feels, I have experienced the same thing she has but in reversed roles, I have not wanted to dress enfemme when intimately involved with a woman, but I like to do more than the missionary position as they call it, I like to explore and try things if you know what I mean. I like the foreplay and I just love the the female body, wow just cant get enough of it. I have been told that what I want to do is gross or dirty or perverted, I always say not if you get in the shower and clean up, if you know what I mean, I am into oral big time, but I seem to cannot find a woman that will do that, I have always thought that I was the only one that way, but I now know that I am not. And it is good to see that there are women that are into other sex acts. It soooo frustrating to not be sexually compatible. I hope I was not too graphic and sorry if I was.

Vivianann,
I agree that being sexually incompatible isn't fun for anyone Making someone feel shame or unloved or that they are disgusting for trying or wanting to try things is uncalled for. There is nothing wrong with it. I however think that this is more cross dressing involved than that.

In the population of women who aren't with members of the TG community, there are TONS of women who don't want to experiment.. not just those who have cdin'g so's.

I am dying to hear from a cross dresser (or more preferably) who wants to dress during sex and their sex drive has dropped because of this, so it seems. I want to know if anyone see's a connection and what it might be.

I am different than women who don't want their men to dress in bed.. but I can totally respect a woman who married one person and found out later that there is another half.. and then getting them introduced in bed...... that has to be hard.

I just guess I am Curious George on this one.. Curiosity killed the cat, but Satisfaction brought him back! :tongueout


Errr - you mean this one (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1103957#post1103957)? :strugglin

Kris, why do you think most of us struggle with all sorts of guilt feelings??

I don't think that most of you struggle with any sorts of guilt feelings. My point in asking how you felt .. was if you thought they were just nympho's.... or if they never told you, ... or if it's a physical thing... etc.

I don't know quite where you got guilt out of this.

:hugs: Kris

[Holly]

...What does the affect on M2F members who have tolerating or excepting SO's to know that women in their lives don't get enough sex?I think you over generalize and have no basis of fact to make such a sweeping statement. Your "sample" is grossly inadequate and supposes that CDing is the only cause of dysfunction in a physical relationship between a man and a woman.
...How does it make you feel that they (some not all) miss sex with their men and they have to concentrate to get into another head space to enjoy sex while their SO's are dressed?It makes me wonder why, if sexual relations are so important to them, they permit it to go on. Talking, counseling, adding a little spice to the marriage bed, a little role playing, lots of things can be done to shore up a physical relationship that is lacking. Honest communication with the partner, however, is the most effective. My wife and I have had a lot of time to work through these and other issues in our 39 years together. It didn't come about by either one of us being shy about what was on our minds.

[marie354]

Well, let's see...

When my SO first decided to let me dress freely around the house, the intimacy get just a wee bit lower.
It wasn't long that she couldn't see her man in me anymore.
Now I'm full time FTM and enjoying it, but no more intimate moments in my house.

Regina encouraged me to go full time. We have discussed it in length, and determined that it was what I should do.

We still live together, and are best of friends as we always have been. But she never really had that much drive anyway. I always initiated it every time.

So... I'm OK, she's OK. Life goes on.

As far as there being a difference... I, for one, am sure of it. My SO told me that now even if I am totally naked, all she can see is Sandy... No more Sam. That is not a big turn on for her.
I can understand that, and respect her for her decision.

So, again... I'm sure regular hetro's probably get more. At least until they get to that age and/or where medications effectively diminish that desire.

~~Sandy~~

[vivianann]

I am dying to hear from a cross dresser (or more preferably) who wants to dress during sex and their sex drive has dropped because of this, so it seems. I want to know if anyone see's a connection and what it might be.

I am different than women who don't want their men to dress in bed.. but I can totally respect a woman who married one person and found out later that there is another half.. and then getting them introduced in bed...... that has to be hard.

I just guess I am Curious George on this one.. Curiosity killed the cat, but Satisfaction brought him back! :tongueout

Kris

I did not mean I am closed minded about dressing enfemme when in bed, I would also like to try that also, like you I am very courious, in the bedroom. I was just commenting on what some of the GG's were saying in the fab forum. I takre it you have alot of fantasies, I like that.

[AmberTG]

My personal experience is this. My ex wife is 20 years younger then me and, yes, she is a nympho, she'd even tell you that. She told me many times that she could have it 3 times a day, every day, and that might be enough. That has a lot to do with why she started cheating on me. I was just unable to satisfy her needs, so she found it elsewhere. Had I known the true depth of her needs, I would not have gotten married, I knew I couldn't keep up with her, but I didn't know how bad it was. This case is probably more of an exception then the normal.
Before spiro removed what was left of my sex drive, I did like having sex while dressed. My ex was OK with that for several years, until she lost interest in me. Now, I feel the urge maybe once a month or so, but the thing doesn't work anymore so it's basicly pointless. The nerves are still there to stimulate, but there's no end result, no climax. This is just my own personal experience, and may not apply to anyone else.

[Lucy Bright]

I only get to be with my SO once or twice a month, so as you can imagine we make the most of it when we get the chance! If we were together all the time, I expect things would tail off a bit over time (as it were!), but it's hard to know for sure. Since I came out to her, I believe - and I don't think it's purely self-delusion - that I've become a better lover. I'm certainly more adventurous and imaginative than I used to be, and foreplay lasts a lot longer now, to the satisfaction of us both.


I am dying to hear from a cross dresser (or more preferably) who wants to dress during sex and their sex drive has dropped because of this, so it seems. I want to know if anyone see's a connection and what it might be.

I can't help there, because I'm always naked when I make love - but when it comes to the act itself (as opposed to the foreplay) I do occasionally get confused about suddenly finding myself in this unambiguously male position, when I hadn't really been thinking of myself as male before. Sometimes I get self-conscious and lose it. We can usually resuscitate the situation given time, though! And if not - well, there's more one way to ring a bell...

Kisses,

Lucy

[Nicki B]

I didn't mean to imply that anyone was struggling with guilt feelings, I will go back and reread what I wrote but that wasn't what I intended either. I have to admit that my brain and fingers aren't working the best together for almost a week now, so I am sorry if I made a mistake....

I don't think that most of you struggle with any sorts of guilt feelings. My point in asking how you felt .. was if you thought they were just nympho's.... or if they never told you, ... or if it's a physical thing... etc.

I don't know quite where you got guilt out of this.

:hugs: Kris

Kris...

We are people who have not 'fitted the mould' society expects of us since we were children - we are not the people our families and friends expect us to be, we've tried so hard not to be a disappointment - we've spent decades disguising and burying our true feelings?

Guilt is inherently a part of the deal - a VERY big part of the deal. This, sadly, feels like just one more nail in the coffin??

Do you think we enjoy hurting those closest to us? But being what we are isn't something you choose - look how many threads there are on here for people wishing somehow they could be 'cured', or be made 'normal'? :sad:

The question is, how can we live a happy fulfilling life (for all concerned) whilst being true to ourselves?

[loki_uk]

I used to ring her bell more than any other boyfriend had perversly because of girly nature

But now she knows about my cding it's really all died off and I really can't be bothered especially with all the accusations that I've slept with someone when I've been away at work. Like I said if I'd been sleeping with someone don't you think I'd smile more, the whole outing this year well shes killed my hormones off and if it wasnt for my kids I'd have gone single

Grrr just because I wear tarty female clothes sometimes doesn't mean I sleep around, but thats another topic

Also I suppose there is the shame element. when she found out I thought sod it I'd shave my legs like I've been wanting to for 20 years...that upset her so now I try and undress when she doesn't see. So of course she now complains I wont even undress in front of her

So no, when it happens she still gets the big O, but I'm too angry to enjoy it really

[Michelia]

I have to echo Holly above. In fact, and in addition, my experience has been quite the opposite. I do not see crossdressers as being any less sexual than other humans - unless their relationships are poisoned by crossdressing or some other incompatibility in the first place.

Before marriage I encountered so many women that just complained how their previous SOs and boyfriend just did not meet their needs. This does not necessarily exclude "horny" guys that are always after their girls like dogs.

During my first marriage, when I did not crossdress, my partner got nothing from me. No matter how I tried it never worked right. Mind you, I never had this problem with any woman before that. She was not a sexual or romantic person and I just gave up after a year. Counseling never helped. She would even boast about her being the best woman I could ever have except for the small fact we did have sex. The only thing another woman would be able to give me that she could not was sex. I spent 10 years without sex and I never cheated on her. I loved and still love her dearly.

My current SO never gets enough. And it has nothing to do with crossdressing. She just does not know when to quit. From the beginning I promised I would be her male 50% of the time and I have stuck by my promise. But the fact is she gets more turned on and wild when I am Michelia and even wilder if I surprise her with sexy clothes and so on. She loves how sensual, delicate, and sensitive I become. She does not go into any other "head spaces" that I know of. She tells me the best thing that ever happened to her is to have two to love.

I also had to decide after 10 years of a good marriage otherwise and a wonderful child to cut loose and look for another partner. This is extremely hard when you love that person and you have told yourself a million times you would hang in there and not break up the marriage just because of sex. But the extreme frustration and unhappiness was killing me. Talking about this is something I avoid because it always brings tears to my eyes even now that I am so happy. I cannot even say I wished I had done it 9 years earlier because I now have my child and I waited until I thought he could handle it.

That said, nothing happens without communication and sharing and commitment and work. We are totally open with one another and we try just about anything as long is it is just the two of us. A good thing is we are both very romantic so we can get very close just reading a good novel together or holding hands under the moonlight or having a glass of wine. This helps a lot. My main goal is her fulfillment and I really believe hers is mine. With the exception that if it was up to her, it would be three times a day...

I wish she would come here and write how she feels about all this.

Michelia

[AmandaM]

Pul-leeze! I'm the horn dog of the relationship. I'll take it twice a day, if only she was willing.

[Julie York]

Kris.
Maybe you should now poll the people who answered your original thread...and ask them if they are happy in their relationship?


That might throw more light on the subject.

[Kris]

I think you over generalize and have no basis of fact to make such a sweeping statement. Your "sample" is grossly inadequate and supposes that CDing is the only cause of dysfunction in a physical relationship between a man and a woman.

Holly,
I am sorry if I upset you by asking this but I do have a basis of fact to ask this question and am trying to learn to understand if there is some connection from the male perspective and I am SURE there is from the female one.
I am trying to protect people that I know about who are on this board and can give extreme examples but then I would be violating a trust - one that I am not EVER going to be willing to violate even to prove a point to avoid the scrutiny of others because of how I carefully am trying to ask a question - without pointing people out or using their examples.

Kris...
Guilt is inherently a part of the deal - a VERY big part of the deal. This, sadly, feels like just one more nail in the coffin??
Do you think we enjoy hurting those closest to us? But being what we are isn't something you choose - look how many threads there are on here for people wishing somehow they could be 'cured', or be made 'normal'? :sad:

Nicki,
No, I guess I am naive but I don't understand how guilt would come into the deal.. and I am not sure what the ?? means... If it feels like a nail in a coffin....... I understand the expression but do not understand your question by any stretch of the imagination. Are you trying to point out that I am trying to hurt the M2F's here? Because that is absurd. I don't have an SO here, I have no reason to be here, other than by choice. Why would I try to hurt a community who has welcomed me with open arms?
And maybe I don't pay attention to the posts that people are asking to be cured or be made normal - whatever that means because I also believe that is absurd and that cross dressing is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a GOOD thing. Maybe I am in the minority here by thinking this way but that doesn't matter to me. It doesn't make my opinion any less valid.


I have to echo Holly above. In fact, and in addition, my experience has been quite the opposite.
During my first marriage, when I did not crossdress, my partner got nothing from me. No matter how I tried it never worked right. Mind you, I never had this problem with any woman before that. She was not a sexual or romantic person and I just gave up after a year.
I wish she would come here and write how she feels about all this.

Michelia

Okay, Michelia,
You and Holly are two people who have answered their experiences have been different. I can count many people who have not had that experience. I am sorry once again if I offended you or Holly, or those M2F's who don't dress for sex, or are always ready... please open up to the idea that not everyone is like that, and that there are those who are here that are. I am not trying to single anyone out.... I am not trying to hurt anyone.

I am trying to learn. I want to know what to expect. Maybe someone does this and doesn't notice.. I have been told privately that many are afraid to answer either one of my set of questions of late because then their "dirty laundry" would be out for everyone to air. So ....... it is getting thought about. This is what I am trying to learn from - I don't want to end up in a relationship with someone who is on the spectrum and have to suddenly deal with issues of not enough sex, feelings of not being enough, watching my SO look and download porn - gay porn on to a computer and self gratify themselves but be completely flaccid when it comes to me, being told suddenly that this behavior of being "unusual" is unlady like therefore my partner is not willing to experiment. Gosh I even hate to write all this because I am afraid that someone is going to know who and why I am saying this.

Kris.
Maybe you should now poll the people who answered your original thread...and ask them if they are happy in their relationship?

Julie,

Please remember that there are ways that I have talked to others........... I have asked that many times and the same answer comes up. I am happy if I would have sex like we used to. Most even don't mind the cross dressing. So there! :tongueout I know I can stick my tongue out at you and you will take that as a joke. I don't want anyone else to think that I am making fun or light of this whole conversation.

:hugs: and :love:'s to you all,

Kris

[allisonrn06]

My wife and I have always had an active sex life, even after 8 years of being together and 6 years of marriage. It has just been in the last month though that she has accepted my cd'ing, yet she seems to be enjoying this addition to it, so I would have to say that she doesn't feel like she's being cheated out of time with her man.

[MJ]

Thank you Kris

I don't understand what you mean MJ.. I think your situation is different because you aren't a cross dresser, you live as a woman full time. More like you are a lesbian who hasn't had surgery. Please correct me if I am wrong.. And you're right, your wife was a jerk and kicked you to the curb.. I am more speaking of the M2F cross dressers who have an SO.

well i don't wish to offend anyone but there are a lot of sisters here who IMHO are also More like lesbians who don't want surgery.. case in point doing the deed while en femme ..


I have no doubt that you would be different than that. Please don't get upset with my response... You are a woman.. in my eyes. I can't even wrap my mind around how you would answer this.

:hugs: Kris
me up set.. that's the Greatest Compliment Thank you..
Why would i answer this well i see myself as a male cd'r full time. all i have to do is take a look in the mirror naked to confirm that eww . and i love the women from all walks of life , and as i have never been with a male i just don't know .. as
amandachick says " Pul-leeze! I'm the horn dog of the relationship. " i could turn in to one of those ...btw what breed is a horn dog ? :p

[Sally24]

What does the affect on M2F members who have tolerating or excepting SO's to know that women in their lives don't get enough sex? Kris
First off, let us not ASSUME that this is true for everyone! In your small sample it didn't seem that ALL of them didn't get enough sex.

Many of us don't take the femme self into the bedroom. My wife is not Gay or Bi and strickly wants HIM in the bedroom and not HER. We make an effort to not do Sally things before a night where we want to be intimate because she does have a hard time switching gears between Sally and S****. Other than that, both of us don't get enough sex. Pretty common for neither married folk to get enough because you both have to be in the mood, not tired, and not asleep....At The Same Time. LOL.

The ones you refer to might have a lowered sex drive because they are dealing with more issues than just gender. Many stress about whether they are gay, bi, lesbian, straight..........

[Kris]

I'm the horn dog of the relationship. " i could turn in to one of those ...btw what breed is a horn dog ? :p

I am not sure, I think horn dog is our own breed and I know I am part of that breed! LMAO..

Hugs,
Kris

[Kris]

First off, let us not ASSUME that this is true for everyone! In your small sample it didn't seem that ALL of them didn't get enough sex.

Sally,
You are right, I didn't mean to even imply that it was that way for everyone. I do notice that while so many of the FAB members answered, some of them deleted their posts. Not because it wasn't true but .. well it's not my stuff to reveal.

I am saddened at the lack of answers for one reason or another.

I am wondering about making an anonymous poll for the FAB members so that they can just simply mark if they get enough sex without ever posting about who they are, and what they marked. I will do that tomorrow I think to try to simplify this for everyone.. and to make Julie York happy....... gotta have her thinking that I am making this fair! :tongueout

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

[Eugenie]

I dno't know if I'm on the subject but I'll try.

Quite sincerely, I don't know if my wife misses sex... But I sure do... She seems not interested anymore.

Is my X-dressing the cause of the problem? Yes, probably, but in part only.

We've had a regular sex life up until about 9 years ago, when two things happened:

- She became menopaused. Since she had never been as demanding for sex as I was, I assumed that her hormone balance made her even less interested.

- I went on early retirement and loss part of my income, creating some financial tensions... Never a favourable environment for romance...

We've been sleeping in separate bedrooms since about 10 years...

Again, I have no idea about her present sex drive...

I hope this was in the subject...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[battybattybats]

My drive was mostly much higher than my girlfriends. However at some times my health problems affected capacity for frequency rather than desire for frequency.

Also emotional parts of the relationship were an effect on things. When I felt disrespected or downright insulted, when I felt justifiably hurt, when I felt rejected because of my feminine side or about other issues then I sure wasn't in the mood.

While she thought that natural for her, she couldn't understand it from me. It seems that mens feelings (crossdressers or not) aren't considered as valid by her as womens.

Perhaps also part of my sexuality belongs to or is a part of my femininity and so requires a feminine expression and gets repressed along with the femininity. So when the repressed bubbles up to the surface and needs to be expressed my feminine sexuality can come with it and if that can't be a part of the relationship then that will interfere with my capacity to fully be involved with my partner with the kind of open, honest, emotional, fulfilling and soulfull intimacy that should be the heart of a comitted sexual relationship.

[Tina Dixon]

Well isn't this a fun thread:D, got people talking about sex, my my, well when I'm Tina I must say still a virgin, never had any never given it, as a man well I do try and take care of bussness at home, but all ways looking for new ways, hmmm, how about on the Harley? What a ride that would be :devil:

[Kris]

Well isn't this a fun thread:D, got people talking about sex, my my, well when I'm Tina I must say still a virgin, never had any never given it, as a man well I do try and take care of bussness at home, but all ways looking for new ways, hmmm, how about on the Harley? What a ride that would be :devil:

:confused2: Where on earth did you get that idea Ms. Dixon?

:lovestruck: Are you flirtin with me??

:battingeyelashes:, Kris

[Tina Dixon]

:confused2: Where on earth did you get that idea Ms. Dixon?

:lovestruck: Are you flirtin with me??

:battingeyelashes:, Kris

Just popped in to my head:heehee:

[suchacutie]

I would never let my dressing hurt my wife in any way. My very supportive wife brought Tina to life and has been nothing but a gem and her terrific friend! With my wife so supportive of Tina, you can be that I will do everything I can to make my wife that happiest woman on the planet!

In that framework, my male and female parts do not have much overlap. Heck, the male is right-handed and the female is left-handed! Thus, interpersonal relationships are not an issue in our household. When I'm in guy mode, you can be sure that I would never think of leaving my wife anything but fully satisfied!

For those who are not living in both genders for whatever reason, this will be a more difficult topic, and I just don't see why this thread should not move to the "male only" area.

tina

[Kris]

For those who are not living in both genders for whatever reason, this will be a more difficult topic, and I just don't see why this thread should not move to the "male only" area.
tina

Tina, I am glad that you are so comfortable with your wife.

I don't think the thread should be moved to the male only or GM thread because I (a GG) started it and it is me who wants to have answers to my questions, as well as can be expected.

I imagine answers would be more honest if it was in the GM section but I think for the most part everyone here is honest enough to answer.

I am sure your wife feels lucky!

:hugs: Kris

[noname]

Now, I can tell you in the population of women that I know, who aren't with cding partners, this is opposite. They can't keep their male SO's off them. I am wondering what the difference is....... why is this, and is there anything that can be done about it..?

Do you see my point? I know that I am a serious horn dog most of my life I have been but after I have a baby, I am worn out........ tired, and sex is the LAST thing that I want. I think it's from the drop in hormones. When I am pregnant, I am VERY aggressive about sex. So I understand the reason when I am most likely to push my lover off and tell them to get away from me.:hugs: Kris

I have never been sexually agressive, infact I'd say I'm quite passive. I've been that way my whole life. I guess it's always been about having some class. I always thought the guys who bragged about sex or always wanting sex were low class tools with no self dicipline. Why would I want to be that? That is the last thing I want to be.

On the plus side my SO can never use withholding sex as a form of manipulation. In fact it does the opposite. Oh, your threatening to with hold sex from me for 3 months? Tell you what I'll double that and make it six. Then I follow through with it. I think she only tried that on me one time.