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HotPantyhose
12-02-2007, 09:35 PM
So I am currently 18 years old and soon to go off to college. I have been crossdressing ever sense I was 5 or 6 years old. I am beginning to think I am more TG than a regular CD. I find myself attracted to men, not that it has anything to do with being TG. I have always been somewhat feminine, never good at sports ect. I guess you could say that I regard things in a more feminine way. Whenever I see a girl I think more along the lines of what it would be like to live in her body and be her rather than "getting with her", as the average guy standpoint. I grew up in a single household with just my mom, so I've always been living around women. I have always suppressed my feelings on this subject as I do not know how my friends and family would react. But now as I am growing up and getting ready to leave the "high school" environment I keep thinking about what it would be like to live full time as a women. I guess what I am looking for out of this post is weather or not the traits that I am displaying seem to be more CD or more TG, I know that I want to go to a gender councilor to get the the bottom of it, but if you had to guess what does it seem to be? Thanks for your time.

nancy58
12-02-2007, 10:54 PM
I am not a gender identity expert, but I'll you what my therapist told me when I was in the full surge of TG feelings a few months ago. I described the feeling that I sometimes get when I see an attractive woman as "wanting to be her instead of to have her". My therapist listened to my various feelings and said that she thought I was still having sexual feelings rather than being confused about my gender identity. I think she may be right in my case; after a bit, I swung back out of that phase and more into that of a straight, non-crossdressing male for a while.

I get the feeling that maybe one thing you are repressing is a sexual urge towards women because of being in a female-dominated environment. After all, we are taught not to have sexual feelings for our mothers, sisters, etc. I could see an easy redirection to crossdressing as a sexual outlet because it's not as off-limits as female relatives are. My perspective may shade this: I am determined to remain faithful to my wife, but that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to other women. Somehow, wanting to have their looks and their clothes doesn't feel wrong the way wanting to have them would feel.

Another perspective came from another therapist. He described sex as a form of merging oneself with one's partner. Wanting to be some woman could be part and parcel of wanting to have sexual relations with her. (In which case, I'm not off the hook.) :sad:

You clearly can benefit from spending some time with a therapist. (IMHO, most people could.) You could also look to see if there is a transgender group in your area and attend their meetings. A good group will want to interview you -- someone will meet you in a public place like a restaurant. It will also have a code of conduct that prohibits sexual advances toward other members and "outing" other members. I joined this one: http://www.tgea.net

There are a few advantages to transgender groups over going straight to a therapist. The members of the group will themselves have spent lots of time hunting for good therapists, as well as lots of time analyzing themselves. Some spouses will be there, and they can give you a woman's perspective on crossdressing men. Best of all, you won't feel like you don't belong, and no one will judge you.

I have one more thought for you. You may be 18 and an adult, but you have a mother who presumably loves you a great deal. You could approach her for help. "Mom, I feel confused about sex and gender." If my daughter approached me with a problem like that, I'd try my best to help her.

Vicky_Scot
12-03-2007, 06:42 AM
So I am currently 18 years old and soon to go off to college. I have been crossdressing ever sense I was 5 or 6 years old. I am beginning to think I am more TG than a regular CD. I find myself attracted to men, not that it has anything to do with being TG. I have always been somewhat feminine, never good at sports ect. I guess you could say that I regard things in a more feminine way. Whenever I see a girl I think more along the lines of what it would be like to live in her body and be her rather than "getting with her", as the average guy standpoint. I grew up in a single household with just my mom, so I've always been living around women. I have always suppressed my feelings on this subject as I do not know how my friends and family would react. But now as I am growing up and getting ready to leave the "high school" environment I keep thinking about what it would be like to live full time as a women. I guess what I am looking for out of this post is weather or not the traits that I am displaying seem to be more CD or more TG, I know that I want to go to a gender councilor to get the the bottom of it, but if you had to guess what does it seem to be? Thanks for your time.

Hi

Do you not mean you are feeling less CD and more TS (Transexual). You state you are more TG (Transgendered), but TG is the umbrella we all come under wether you are CD,TV,TS etc.

I am not a therapist but I think you seem TS rather than CD. But you need to talk to a professional regarding how you feel.

sexotik
12-03-2007, 09:40 AM
I n my case, I found out I'm bisexual. I quote "Whenever I see a girl I think more along the lines of what it would be like to live in her body and be her rather than "getting with her", as the average guy standpoint. "

sometimes I feel that way, I see a girl and think "I'd like to be her or like her" and make the guys turn their heads, on other occassions I think what if I went dancing, would guys look at me and try to hit on me or wht If crossdress would guys look at me and get hot by only seeing me???I bet some ppl would but others wouldn't cuz I'm not what they're looking for. However, ere are occassion in which I see a gal and I like her.
I don't know, It's very confusing, even for me you have to stop and think, but IMHO I think you wanna take another step, more than a cd. Good luck, Hope this has helped you.


PS: I leave my mail if you wanna get it off your chest or simply talk [email protected]

HotPantyhose
12-03-2007, 03:38 PM
Thank you for all your imputes on this situation, it means allot to me. Anyone else who might feel the need to share your opinion? Thanks again.