What has crossdressing done for you?....

[Kate Simmons]

...........Besides the obvious? Oh yeah, we all feel good about ourselves one way or the other but CDing has changed my life in at least three ways as far as I can determine.

First of all, by boldly taking the "plunge" and coming out, it has put me in touch with my feelings and has allowed me to express them in a "no holds barred" way.I am no longer ashamed of having these feelings as a man and have incorporated them into my overall self, so I'm able to express them no matter how I look.

Another thing is that it has helped me to develop my artistic ability and creativity in more ways than I can imagine. How else does an old geezer transform into an half decent looking "gal"? The sculpture is already in a block of granite or marble, it just takes the artist to mold it, define it and bring it out and the tools are nothing without being in his hands. Hey, I'm no Einstein and if I can do it, anyone can. We are only limited by our own imagination.Not to mention it's a lot of fun.

The third thing is that interacting with the LGBT Community has given me a new level of awareness and tolerance and realization of the fact that everyone is a person and a unique individual and is in no way limited by being a "thing" with a label. It's all about people being people really. Heart and soul go a long way in this "business."

Do I regret having done it? I can honestly say"No", even though it has not always been a bed of roses along the way and I've had my share of difficulties the same as everyone else. The biggest thing is, if I had not done it, I would not be the person I am today. That , in itself, makes it worth the effort to me.:happy:

[Brianna Lovely]

I don't think I could add to what you've already said.
Thank you.

[Lisa Golightly]

Honestly? It helped me feel as though I wasn't dead from the inside out.

[EDNA]

To live my life as a girl. That I should have been born as. To meet and be with the same type of people. No matter what the straight people. Was thinking and would say about me. In which. I have never been sorry about.

[TxKimberly]

Honestly? It helped me feel as though I wasn't dead from the inside out.

First off, I LOVE Lisa's answer and will second that!
Besides the obvious, it has given me confidence. I used to be so shy that at times it would almost cripple me. This is a bad thing if your job happens to be to travel around the country and someties the world, meeting customers and installing or repairing equipment for them.
Having screwed up the courage to walk out the door as Kim, I have taken one of the biggest social plunges you possibly can. After getting up the courage to do that, meeting and chatting with someone just doesn't intimidate me any more.

[Eugenie]

Besides what Salandra said, to which I agree, X-dressing has made me meet wonderful people... People I wouldn't have met otherwise.

It is a community I have discovered as soon as I got out of my closet, first virtually via the various forums and e-mail exchanges, then for real, meeting "sisters" and sometimes their SOs.

My only sore point is that I can't share this wonderful world with my wife who is still not participating, eventhough she has made great progresses in accepting my x-dressing recently.
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Ruth]

That phrase was such a cliche a while back, but until this uptight, repressed guy went through the process of admitting and embracing his CDing, I didn't really understand it.

[Tina Dixon]

I'm still confussed hows that.

[Joanne f]

I was going to put what cross dressing has done for me but i know you ladies
do not like swearing :(



joanne

[tricia_uktv]

That phrase was such a cliche a while back, but until this uptight, repressed guy went through the process of admitting and embracing his CDing, I didn't really understand it.

I know what Ruth is saying but I wonder if it goes deeper than that. My feelings as are a male are still there, and are still relevent to everything I do in my life. My feelings as Tricia are totally different, my personality and sexuality are totally different - and as Tricia I don't have mortgage, kids, work, money, to worry about (at least I ignore it). I am only just starting to see a trade off between the two and look forward to seeing that develop further. But some I will win and some I will lose,

Really, really hard

[lisa_e_love]

Rediscovering CDing has kind of opened the door for me to develop feelings of acceptance for everyone. It's also helped me rediscover the fun of risk-taking and the necessity to sometimes "just do it" as the slogan goes instead of sitting around and thinking about the future.

I was already a fairly liberal person, but CDing has heightened my feminism (no, I'm not talking about just liking female stuff) - I desperately want to see change in the American woman's situation. Just last night, I was reading a book called The Body Project (highly recommended) and discovered that America has the highest rate of pregnancy for girls under 15 for any industrialized nation. I think we sometimes slap ourselves on the back and say, "Good job America, we liberated women in the 70s." And we don't realize that we haven't done nearly enough.

Going out as a woman has given me some vague idea of what it's like to experience the world as a woman. For example, a NYC bicycle taxi driver trying to get me to take a ride once saw me and said, "Nice dress." It felt...almost rude. If I were a man, he wouldn't try and advertise to me by commenting on my appearance but since I was en femme he felt like he could play off of my body to get me into the carriage.

I want the women's movement to continue instead of just rotting in the dust and part of that desire has to do with the things I've learned because of CDing.

[tricia_uktv]

Sorry girls but I felt I also ought to say how much I agreed with Salandra's comments as well. Certainly I'm writing and thinking stuff I couldn't imagine before. Its as if I have another string to my bow. Pity I can't play a better tune, but that may come

[Marla S]

In addition to what has been already said.

First and foremost it is a confidence builder and eye opener.

Cding helped me to rise from the dead.

The challenge to learn to deal with CDing and to integrate it into my life without shame, guilt, urges and the like, taught me a lot about myself and gave me the confidence to be able to master other issues as well.

TG is my personal New York, New York

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere

Of course, like Salandra said, it was/is not always a bed of roses and there will be set backs in the future.

Anyway, it seems to give more than it takes.

I taught me a lot about tolerance and dogmatism.

Last but not least it gave me the chance to find a lot of great people and friends here :love:


I was going to put what cross dressing has done for me but i know you ladies do not like swearing
Swear on, rant on, say what you feel ... there is no point in coloring everything pink and funny. We all know it is tough.:hugs:

[Vivian Best]

It opened the way for me to move into a fantasy world that allowed me to excape the pain of the real world many times. I could wish and dream as big as I could imagine, things that would never happen in reality.

[Rita B]

I am one of the lucky ones, because it has renewed and refreshed my relationship with my wife in ways that I would not have thought possible. Not only has she become extremely supportive she is becoming integrated within the TG community.

[sami1952]

Cding has made me realize that i'm not the only one out there and that i can actually talk to others with the same interst as me.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm still confussed hows that.

I'm entering a rather disturbing period of my CDing. I'm afraid I'm enjoying it TOO much! And it may be taking over my life!


It opened the way for me to move into a fantasy world that allowed me to excape the pain of the real world many times. I could wish and dream as big as I could imagine, things that would never happen in reality.

I cannot explain in words all that CDing has done for me. I think Vivian has touched on it here. For this old guy, it has restored youthful vigor to both my attitude toward daily life, and my sex life. It gives me something exciting and titillating to look forward to every day. It seems to fill in a hole in my being, and part of that, is all of you here.
RS

[kerrianna]

It's racked up a significant credit card debt. :doh:

Oh well, it's done a lot of other great things...the most important may be keeping my true self alive through years of slogging through the lost lands. :straightface:

[Jill]

I believe that there are pros and cons to most everything. There are acceptions of course. I guess I haven't every really put in any thought into the benefits of crossdressing, only the ways that I have suffered.

What has crossdressing done for me? On the negative side. It has my compromised relationships and definitely compromised my finances, spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars that I don't really have on things that I don't really need. I've experienced shame, embarrassment and grief. Not to mention the confusion and self torment that I have dealt out in healthy doses to myself over the years. The awkward moment of being caught or almost caught, the anxiety that comes with telling someone and hoping they will accept me and not cut me off as a friend because they do not accept. The awkward talks with my parents, telling me that what I'm doing is wrong and a sin and that I should talk to a religious leader about it. There's a lot of heartache and sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it.

On the positive side...this is a bit of a stretch for me. I'm definitely more accepting of others. I know there are people out there who are good people and are looking for acceptance like I am. I find that I am less likely to attach a label to a person because that's not what I want people to do to me. Of course there's the obvious hours of enjoyment and the unique feelings that come with it. I do think it has also helped me to become more sensitive and understand towards females and appreciate them more. I think that's the best I'm going to be able to do for now.

[AllieSF]

On the positive side - I am enjoying a new activity and meeting new and interesting people. I never had many hobbies so this is a great one for me. It has opened up more acceptance of others no matter what they are like. At least I have more patience with some that I would not have had in the past.

Negative side - I have added something else that I want to keep secret and will cause problems if revealed to the wrong people. That adds some stress and jeoprodizes some good existing relationships, which are important to me.

[kaitlin]

All in one line....It has made my life complete !!! :thumbsup: Kaitlin

[suchacutie]

I agree with much of what has been said, but I'm one of our group who is committed to both genders, and am married. So, from my perspective:

1) Working at being a woman has helped me to begin to understand my wonderfully supportive wife at a much deeper level. Of course there are all the details of how women exist and how they experience life from a very early age. We are all trying to learn all of that in a very short time and without as much experimentation as they were allowed. The female mindset is simply different, and trying to understand that has not only made Tina a better woman, but it has enhanced understanding who my wife is. This can be nothing but a plus!

2) If I am to maintain both genders, I have to think about my body all the time. I like Tina to have a great figure, and to look great. This means that the male body has to go along, look the best it can, and be ready to jump the gap between genders at a moment's notice. From moisturizing my skin to facials, to keeping my skin clean and my eyebrows shaped, CDing has clearly enhanced my appearance in both genders. I enjoy looking good for my wife!

3) I think I even dress better as a male now that I have greater understanding of fashion. Just the other day my wife and I discussed tossing all my ties and starting again. Most of them are just terrible! I never notice that before! Most of my shirts are now not white! Pink shirts are more than acceptable, and they get noticed and are remarked upon appreciatively!

So, even agreeing with all that has been written, I think CDing is good for the body, the mind, the appearance, and the relationship! After all, if a woman really thinks about it without the ballast of stereotypes and prejudice, could any male be a better husband than a CD? Who could be more appreciative or more understanding, and a girl-friend in the mix! :)

tina

[Jodie Wexler]

Crossdressing and photography has awoken a side of me that has been dormant for many years. I lost intrest in photography a long time back but thanks to this fourm I have once again found an artistic outlet. If it was not for the kindness of your replies to my pictures I still would be embarassed about my dressing. So thanks everyone,
Jodie

[Jocelyn Quivers]

It's caused me to take better care of myself. It's caused me to watch what I eat and exercise regularly. I'm also more at peace with myself, and it's caused me to be more tolerant and understanding of alternative lifestyles.

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks for your observations and expressions friends. I had posted this because I was thinking yesterday just what I have accomplished by doing all of this. This was the first time I brought it all together. While I'm definately no Pollyanna, I'm a positive thinking person so was trying to think how I turned something that could be and was a liability for me into something that was value added. I'm usually doing something for a purpose and learning, even if I don't realize it at the time I'm doing it. In any event, my efforts were not wasted it seems and though I certainly had a lot of fun, a lot was accomplished as well and it has become a resource I can utilize any time I need to.

The biggest thing I have realized is that I can be whoever I want to be no matter what I look like and that, as they say, ain't hay. Really, I never really thought I would see the day when Rich could be as alive as his femme self. This will be an important advantage to me if I do get back together with my wife. Rather than a stick in the mud like I used to be, she will find a guy with heart, spirit and who is full of life.:happy:

[Stormgirl]

It's done nothing but made me more bewildered,unhappy, and desolated.

[Ashly]

It's done nothing but made me more bewildered,unhappy, and desolated.

...got to add...divorce :(

[Michelia]

It has made my life more complicated.

It has made my SO and I wonderfully close and enriched our intimate lives.

It has made my kids and I closer too.

It has made me more fearful of many things that I know I need to overcome.

It has made me more understanding and accepting of gay people but it also has made me see how intolerant many of them can be of people that are different.

It has brought me closer in touch with a side of me that had long been yearning to be expressed and crossdressing and its peripheral activities have been a conduit for this.

It has made me aware of contradictions within my character and thinking.

It has brought me many frustrations because I cannot come out to the world about it.

It has made me spend out of control that I could not afford.

I get do something I truly enjoy now and then.

Michelia

[BarbaraTalbot]

First and most importantly it has put me in a position to trust my wife with all my secrets, for which am am daily rewarded by how close we have grown.

It has caused me to lose 40 lbs while being able to support my wife in her healthy goals without her feeling like I am expecting her to be the size she was 5 children ago..(although I must say down 65 lbs now she's looking darn close!)

I am careful about the sun, pay attention to grooming in general in male mode.

I have vastly improved my male wardrobe even as it is buried in a deluge of femme items. I have learned fabrics, and thrifting, and have wool, silk, mohair, camels hair. probably 15 suits or sport coats and spent only 15 dollars n them.

Not to be in anyway inappropriate here or to feast before those that struggle in their relationships, but it has made me a better and more sensitive lover. I never had any complaints before, but I have concentrated and practiced and imagined more fully what it would be like to actually be a woman and have at times pulled it off pretty well according to the feedback I have received ;)

I am so much more accepting of all people especially in the GBLT community. I never thought of myself as intolerant but I now 'get' people more. That there is such a wide range of expressions.

The downside is that I am out of closet space and crowding Dee's side.

[Cassy11]

I had never thoughtof myself as being very creative but to be able to create Cassy and be real and not a clown means a lot to me. I've also found I'm a lot more understanding of others since being a member of a group that is not accepted by the vast majority of society.