Interesting experience

[Michelia]

I was at Home Depot yesterday and at the check out as a cashier was this little rotund man with glasses and a moustache. He had these very long nails with a very shiny clear polish. I was totally revolted. I could not help it. It was a gut feeling I had until my mind took control and told me to get myself together. It was rather shocking.

I have not been able to stop thinking about this and why did this happen? Could it be that others experience the same feelings when they encounter us?
Have any of you ever get this feeling when encountering similar situations?

Michelia

[Emily Ann Brown]

Closest I have come was at a convenience station...male cashier asked me if I saw the male in front of me who had painted fingernails (obviously made him uncomfortable). I didn't have the heart to tell him I was underdressed and had a coat of clear on my fingernails.

Emily Ann

[Kate Simmons]

Not really Hon. I've seen stranger things than that. Nothing much bothers me these days. Tolerance is what we make it , I guess.:happy:

[katieblush]

Only once have i seen a CD out on her own,we went into the motorway services for a break and in walks a very tall CD,and all eyes were on her,some people were making very loud nasty comments,some took no notice and others well they could not stand to be by her and moved.
I felt annoyed and ashamed of others reactions,in between feeling how brave that person was being,its no wonder so many CDs stay indoors,she looked great by the way with a flowing pink summer dress on.

[Mary Morgan]

IMHO, It is sad and disappointing that we can be so supportive and tolerant of each other while sitting anonymously at our computers, and yet revert back to all that we dislike in our fellow travelers when it really counts. Herein lies our greatest challenge to acceptance. We have to go first. The women did it in the women's movement for themselves, and are still struggling in many ways. We have a long path ahead. Better put on some comfortible shoes.

[RobertaFermina]

I wonder what it would be like to see myself freshly, as someone else does. As if my twin walked into the room with all her confidence, and charisma *AND* all the personality and grooming faults that I never appreciate and all my friends kindly overlook.

Would I look on myself as kindly ?

How often have I looked at a Gurl and judged her appearance and then smiled supportively while, inwardly, I thought, I wouldn't be caught dead looking like that ? ....the answer is *too often*. I AM vain, and competetive, still.

When that happens, I look into the person for their spirit, and strive to let go of my knee-jerk judgments. Thank goodness I always find a human being who is more important than my judgments, and I do let go...though I don't forget completely.

I think seeing other CD's being bravely out there, no matter what anybody thinks, reminds me of myself. Sometimes they inspire me, sometimes they wake up my fear that I am *ugly* and *wierd* and *hopeless*.

The CD at the cash register is always a mirror for me.

:rose: Will that be cash or ATM, madam ? and did you find everything you were looking for ? :rose:

[traceyanne]

once i was out shopping in my local asda, and there was quite a commotion going on, turns out it was an elderly cd, he had a full beard, long checked skirt, frilly blouse and thigh hi's one of which had fell down and was flapping at his ankle. he had one hand on a walking stick and the other was pushing his cart. people were staring. whispering and all theses kids were following and laughing. i felt quite sorry for the old guy, especially when my wife cheekily minded me what i was wearing under my drab

[Michelia]

Was that he was a male presenting as male. I have never had a reaction to other CDs or trans. I admire their guts and courage and the effort they put into being beautiful. I used to be repulsed by very femme gays when I was younger. But I always managed trying to be underetanding and tolerant.

It was not a thought process. I never had a chance to judge or think about what he was doing. The nails just looked somewhat bizarre on him. The effect was just so "discordant". He was not femme looking at all. But it happened to me as I am growing my own nails longer! I am a little surprised as I have never really been too judgemental.

It almost was as if my rational expectations of myself were let down by this primal intense reaction. And I wonder how many people could actually feel this way at times about us. Or even about things I may already be doing.

Michelia

[EDNA]

It was on my day off. From my straight job and I was only wearing my Men's Shorts. While I was out on my mower and cutting my grass. When two police officer. [That I knew.] Came up to me and thought it was funny. That they were called out. On a Topless Female. On a mower.

So do to the size of my Breast. They had to order me to put a Shirt on. So the next time they may not be the ones. To answer the call and I could get a Ticket. In which they knew. I did not want.

So I did what they said and I moved. Never had any more problems.

[carhill2mn]

I wonder why you reacted as you did. Many "straight males" get manicures on a regular basis and that usually involves having a clear polish put on. This man may have been such a person.

[charllote34]

Nothing surprises me anymore ! :devil:

[Kristen Marie]

In the next town over, there is a chubby little cashier (no moustache) who has this high, shrilly voice and he flits around as he picks up each item and scans the item. His nails are done, his eyebrows plucked and the stretch shirt he wears is revealing of small breasts.

I tend to be more embarassed for him as I watch customers react to his carrying on. I have yet to be able to say anything positive to him (about the way he looks and carries on), but I am always pleasant to him. I reflect back to the transition scene in Shallow Hal when the cocktail waitress turns from the amazing beautiful lady to an obvious crossdresser with a 5:00 shadow. She carried herself fine in the movie, and I guess if he (the checker in my story) was doing that, I'd be better with it. Anyway, I wrestle with it too.

[Lisa Golightly]

Nope.

[sterling12]

If you want love, you have to give love. If you want respect, you have to give respect. And, if you want TOLERANCE...you have to be tolerant of others!

So what, if he puts polish on his nails. So what, if he wants to "flit around." Most of the people here would either want to, or they are currently going out in Public dressed En femme. Most of us want TOLERANCE, how can we expect to get what we desire when we let our prejudices show through with other people. That friends, is a Double Standard!

If people want to do away with intolerance, please avoid judgment. It certainly begets intolerance. This country has had more than enough of that, for way too many years.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[tricia_uktv]

Michelia,

Its your problem, not his

Hugs

[Babette]

I'd say if he was happy, then I'm happy for him as well. If they are well manicured, then why not polish them for a finished look?

I have a little different slant on fingernails though. There is nothing more bothersome to me than seeing a person who should be reflecting a professional image sporting long, untrimmed nails with enough dirt under them to grow a crop of lettuce. Yuk!!! OK, this comment is not directed at gardeners, mechanics, farmers, or anyone else that must work with their hands in a difficult environment. I have seen teachers, clergy, and business people with these attributes.

Sorry for the rant.

Babette

[jennig]

Iam so sorry you were revolted {you word, ] you would think the world was over the differences in people. and except people as they are so what he had long nails if he likes them that,s up to him, I assume you are a c/d your on this site. you are right we are different and people do look at us as being weird but if we look at ourselfs as being weird then this perception will never change! people are different and thats great and we should embrace that. and who ever made the rules that men should only have short nails and hair and drab chlothes please have them call me because thier is no rules just the one in our heads. so please be a little kinder to the fello rule breakers that try to be themself,s
huggs jennig:2c::

[erickka]

How come these teenaged boys wear polish all the time,and get no remarks, yet they are sometimes the first ones to hoot about us CD's with polish on OUR nails? There's definately something wrong with this picture.

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe everyone's reaction to folks who look and/or act different, is some primal fear dating back to tribal days, eons ago.

Maybe the strange looks of some youths, ( huge tatoos, rings in their faces, spiked green hair, etc.), is their attempt to shock us and mock our
"sameness" values. It works on me, I'm repulsed by their appearences.

I'm occassionally repulsed by an extremely unkept, or obese, or homely GG. So, why shouldn't I be repulsed by a homely "man in a dress"? I DON'T like that I am repulsed be any of these, but I am. And admitting here hurts A LOT!

I used to be very disappointed with my looks dressed. I could only see an old man in a dress! When I created my special faces, only then did "Sherry"
appear, and become someone I could admire and be proud of! I don't like the way I am, but it IS the way I am!

We can all bay at the moon, and complain about the prejudice against CD's in others and in ourselves. But changing people's minds takes time. Admitting our own prejudices is a good start. Generations from now, CD's may be a common, more acceptable sight. Meanwhile, WE have to live in today's world doing the best we can!
RS

[JoAnnDallas]

I have long acrylic nails polished a pale Pink. So far I have not had any reaction from anyone while out in public. Only once have I had someone ask me if that was nail polish on my nails. I told them yes it was and their response was "Cool".
Other than my Tri-Ess sisters, I have seen only one man in public with long nails. I noticed that no one seem to notice his either.

[Patti Remick]

Hello all,
I had a somewhat similar experience a few years ago. Ive previously posted that I never seem to see many of 'us' (and still dont) but there was one time when I saw a MTF CDr only a few feet away as she exited a small non-chain womens clothing store and got into her car in a suburban strip mall (I was in the car next to hers). I read her immediatly but not because she was unconvincing per se. Yes she was quite tall and large, but there are real tall/large women. Her mannerisms (walking, carring her items, opening the trunk of her car, getting into her car) were - in my opinion - very masculine. Id be the first to admit that feminine mannerisms are a very difficult thing to do as a male. I dont do them well at all. But the real thing was her style of dress and makeup - both (again, in my opinion) way overdone for a trip to the local shopping smalling town strip mall. A very short skirt, very tall heeled boots, very 'big' hair, and way way way (did I say way) too much makeup. I guess im prejudiced about people that overdo makeup - female or male. I guess Ill always have this 'Tammy Faye Bakker/Messner' prejudice against too much makeup.

Like others here have stated, at the time I had very mixed feelings (and I still do). First, I felt ashamed, thinking perhaps this is how I could/would be seen by others if I was out (I am not and never really have been out). Second, I felt this person was very brave to be out (this was not just blending into the crowd at a large shopping mall/dept store - this was at a small 'personal' clothing store at a small strip mall), and I was quite jealous in that regard. But lastly I felt that this person was just 'overdone' and that I would have felt the same way (and have felt many times) seeing a real woman that is 'overdone' like that (ie my Tammy Faye prejudice - BTW her religious/political views never bothered me as much as her overdone looks).

Please dont take this the wrong way - I know everyone's style is unique and what appeals to one person may be not the cup of tea of the next - female or male. 'Overdone' is in the eye of the beholder. Id bet many of you would look a bit crosseyed of some of my dressing styles/desires.

Luv and Hugs,
Patti Remick

[Littlej10]

I have not had many encounters with CDs out in public and as someone else has said I can't help making comparisons with how I THINK I look, odious I know. After this inital response I quickly think that maybe I make the same dress, makeup, movement mistakes and try to learn from the experience.
I am usually so unobservant that I can't remember aything outrageous or revolting about fingernails of anyone in male mode, perhaps because mine have always been long... unless the uncooperative things have broken.

[Mitch23]

I have a MtF post op transsexual working right along side me and i admit that it was a problem for me to deal with and to show that person the love and acceptance she deserves. i was very judgemental because she is not very good looking and quite masculine in mannerisms. only now can i appreciate the enormous personal cost and her courage

mitch