What would you do

[jamiesnj]

I have recently been thinking of going to a Ladies Night out in New Jersey. And i told my wife I wanted to go (she knows I dress but does not support it) and she was not happy about me going. I really want to go though, Should I go and not tell her are should I just not go.

Jaime

[Shelly Preston]

Well you risk her getting more angry about your crossdressing by going and knowing she does not want you too

You have to consider what the consequences be :(

Only you can really decide if its worth going

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I have concluded from discussions with many other girls that the big issue with wives is lying. That is more damaging than the dressing in most cases. If you want to make your situaton then go and lie about it. She may well find out anyway and the consequences will be severe. I hope I dont sound non supportive because I am. Just dont put lying into the equation.

[Kristen Marie]

If she knows about your dressing and knows you want to go, then I would go. Sounds like she is not supportive, but she at least knows about it. Is your option not going and having her mad about you wanting to go?

[Eugenie]

I would think that this is always a matter of balance between your desire to live your life as a x-dresser and not hurting the feelings of your wife.

It takes lots of time and mutual understanding to reach the level that will enable both of you two to have a pleasant relationship which embeds your x-dressing.

One thing is for sure, if you lie to her and if she discovers it, this is oing to be a lot worse than if you manage to convince her to let you go...

However, as much as I understand your urge to go to that evening "en femme", I would suggest that you move one step at a time and don't rush things up with your wife.

She seems to be more accepting than many wives... Don't risk to ruin that relationship by asking for more than she can tolerate for the moment.

:2c:
Eugenie

[charlie]

I have recently been thinking of going to a Ladies Night out in New Jersey. And i told my wife I wanted to go (she knows I dress but does not support it) and she was not happy about me going. I really want to go though, Should I go and not tell her are should I just not go.

Jaime
Already your wife obviously is upset at having another girl in the house that used to be her manly husband. She is staying with you (that is support), but does not like your dressing. Why not spend thenight with her instead. Dressing is great, going out dressed is a charge, but not at the cost of a further deteriation of your marriage. Just my view, you are in the hot seat!

[Carol A]

My wife knows and understands but since we retired and moved she has put her foot down to going out. Yes I will admit I have gone behind her back and went out a few times but the truth is and I understand if she finds out all hell will brake lose. Hell I'm to old to worry about her leaving or putting me out but life could become hell. My advice, don't do it!.

[DonnaT]

she was not happy about me going.
Jamie, did she say you couldn't go?

My wife's not happy about me going out either, but I go anyway, as long as she doesn't say no. Talk to her some more, and see if she has any fears you should address.

But, don't do it because I do. Do what you feel is best.

[Denise Barrett]

Hi Jamie, :hugs:

I’ve never been married, but from reading this forum, I believe the best way to mess up a relationship is by lying. From what I understand, marriage depends upon each other’s trust, and once lost, you may never get it back. If going out really upsets your wife, then perhaps, this time, you should capitulate to her wishes, telling her why you’re not going. Maybe by doing this for her, in the future, she’ll be more open to the idea by doing something for you. But whether you go or not, I personally wouldn’t take the chance of messing up your relationship by lying. IMH, unexperiencedO.

With all my love and respect to you both,:love:
Denise

[Maddie]

Jamie come join us we are a great group and have alot of fun

ask your wife to come with you mine was a little aprehensive at first but has alot of fun with the girls

we are like any othe social club we just have strange uniforms (GIGGLE)

huggs Maddie

[StacyCD]

I may be missing a big part of the point but going to a 'ladies night out' with GGs might not be the best place to go. I don't have as much experience 'out' as many others but I suspect a group of GGs out for a 'ladies night out' might not be most accepting group unless you pass 100% or are a part of a large group of CDs--think safety in numbers. I think we all fear ignorant rednecks but I'm sure you could be the brunt of some ignorance sent your way by some members of the opposite sex.

The issue with a non-accepting wife is a different one and also a more important one. Damn the torpedoes--full speed ahead might not be the best strategy to win your wife over. Work on the relationship with your wife first!

[Raychel]

Sounds pretty simple, If your wife is unhappy and doesn't want you to go, Then you should not go. That that time and take her out to dinner and a movie instead. Or just do something nice for her. Maybe next time she will not mind if you go.

:2c:

[EDNA]

Stay at home

[ericalynncd]

It's not worth risking a marriage over. My wife is pretty supportive but was told "If I look better than her I would have to stop." Sometimes GG's see each other as competition.

[vikki2020]

My wife knows, but not supportive also. However, it's only been about 6 months since I told her, and I understand her feelings.I would not go without her blessing.Now, if she were out of town, maybe.She doesn't want to know anything about my dressing,or when I go out,her view being don"t ask, don't tell.

[Roberta Lynn]

Like most of the others, I don't think you should go behind her back and go.
You might try and talk to her about why she disproves of your going.
That could open up the lines of communication a little.

[Angie G]

If it were me I would not go It depend on what you want more a party or a wife :hugs:
Angie

[Di]

I have recently been thinking of going to a Ladies Night out in New Jersey. And i told my wife I wanted to go (she knows I dress but does not support it) and she was not happy about me going. I really want to go though, Should I go and not tell her are should I just not go.

Jaime

I would talk to her and find out the reasons for her objections and work something out with her.....there is no way you should go and lie about it......unless of course you want it to all blow up in your face.

[trannie T]

Have the two of you really discussed crossdressing? She might be more understanding if she knew more about us.

[jaina]

I have recently been thinking of going to a Ladies Night out in New Jersey. And i told my wife I wanted to go (she knows I dress but does not support it) and she was not happy about me going. I really want to go though, Should I go and not tell her are should I just not go.

Jaime

Don't lie about it, but I'd go.

[lisa_e_love]

It sucks sometimes to have to take the fall and say, "OK. Not tonight" but the meaning behind that gesture is everything. If she knows how badly you want to go and yet you choose not to to give her a romantic evening with your male self instead, it firmly shows her that she is the most important part of your life.

Understanding may come, but from very minor experience with just one long-term relationship I would recommend not pushing it with this.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

It sucks sometimes to have to take the fall and say, "OK. Not tonight" but the meaning behind that gesture is everything. If she knows how badly you want to go and yet you choose not to to give her a romantic evening with your male self instead, it firmly shows her that she is the most important part of your life.

Understanding may come, but from very minor experience with just one long-term relationship I would recommend not pushing it with this.


Yep, and to push the issue with her by going may create problems later on. If her mind is rationalizing ways to make it easier to be combative.... then you might be giving her ammunition ;)

Hope it works out :)

[Vicky_Scot]

Lets look at it this way. If your wife had an interest in something, ballroom dancing for instance and you knew about this but were not really supportive.

She then says to you one day that there was a big ballroom dance coming up and she wanted to go and you said that you did not really want her to, what would her reaction be.

As long as you are honest and tell her you are going then I cannot see the problem. Another individual even in a marriage does not have the right to tell you that you can and cannot do this or that, obviously things of a sexual nature etc is a different issue.

Explain to her that this is important to you and even ask her to come along. At least you have given her the opportunity to say yes.

Good luck.

[Sandra]

If you go and don't tell her you could be heading for trouble, talk to her does she know just what the night out is going to be? she could be having all sorts of thoughts running through her mind.

[Joanne f]

If you value your wife and your marriage i suggest that you do not go,Cding is not a one way thing for married people it has to be worked at if possible by both sides.


joanne