Over 40? What If...

[vikki2020]

Most of us started dressing at a young age.I started going out at age 15 or so. Lots of sneaking,and feeling alone and guilty.What if we had the internet,as it is today in the 70's?What if we had todays attitude toward CD'ing, TG, and gays, with much more tolerance?Would you have gone any farther into this life style?I'm not sure what I would have done with sites like this,and the support and education they offer.I was probably kept in check by what I didn't know back then.Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with my life,married ,great kid, but it might have been different, who knows? How 'bout you?

[MJ]

well i don't think it would have change anything for me.. we all have our level of accepting ourselfs and i think it was just a matter of time

[Angie G]

I don't know if thing would have been different I was married in 1968 I don't think I would have taking a fifferent way, I'm happy were I'm at :hugs:
Angie

[StacyCD]

It's an interesting thought. However, if things were different things would be different. I hope I didn't use up too much brain capacity thinking that one up. I certainly wouldn't be the person I am today if not for my past--warts and all. I hope to live in the present because that's where I'm at. I don't mean to be so negative but we can't live our lives continually thinking "if only."

[Jammie 3]

I'm sorry to speak out of character but I feel in this sistuation, that if WE had the internet back then I would not have to hide , I am sorry I don't have to hide it now but I feel It would be a little easier now had we had the public access to the NET as we do now . It ,I feel would be more public,and maybe the other side would understand,JUST MAYBE we could be who we are with out dismisale,or cridisitium,(as cloe as I could get,thank U!)

[Lucy Bright]

For me, it would have made all the difference in the world. Mind you, the net has made a huge difference, even arriving when it did (i.e. "too late" for my youth!).

Kisses,

Lucy

[StayceeCD]

Who knows! I certainly am happy with my wife and beautiful daughter but given the support and everything... I MIGHT have transitioned... But that is a big MIGHT!!

[Deanna2]

The western world has been an advanced society for hundreds of years.

[Eugenie]

I think having all ths information would have changed a lot of things in my life.

First of all it would have helped me a lot with eliminating the guilt I have felt for so many years (more than 50) and that I only recently eliminated...

It would certainly have changed my relationship with my wife. I now realise that it has been hard on her... I told her almost immediately after we got married...

Would I have changed my life completely? Perhaps. Tha discussion came about some times ago with my wife. She told me that it would have been esaier if I had made a change earlier as she could have reorganized her own life... Now she feels it is a bit late to start all over... So for her it would also have made life clearer if not easier... It is clear that she would have separated from me...

So for now, all this info has helped us find a better balance in our relationship...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Kate Simmons]

The Net is okay but has to be seen for what it is which is a tool. It certainly is not the answer to everything. There is an old saying:"Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see." This is, for sure, true of the Net. Not only is it inundated with advertisements and propaganda but people , as well, can be totally anonymous and totally phoney. This is where wisdom and insight comes in to filter out the BS. We can meet people online and correspond and what not but nothing really substitutes for meeting in person and that is one thing that has never changed. It has helped a lot especially with a view to awareness of who we are but that is where the value ends for me. To go any farther and actually explore our feelings has to be done personally.:happy:

[Lanore]

I don't beleive it would have made a real difference in my life. In the 70's, I was well into my journey. Thinking back, I didn't have to deal with all of the labels we have now. I knew how I felt inside and just let it develope. However, having the information this site offers and the sharring of stories can be so usefull to someone looking for a little direction.

Lanore

[Khriss]

I believe "Gay Rights" along with NAACP .. have evolved much in the last 30 years .. Womens Rights too ! Though I feel like I am a part of the "fringe" ..ie - tolerated but never accepted ,therefore eazily dismissed eh ?
a true "minority" in the General Public's view of things ? or ?? xx"K"

[renee k]

Who knows! I certainly am happy with my wife and beautiful daughter but given the support and everything... I MIGHT have transitioned... But that is a big MIGHT!!

I agree with Staycee, I'm pretty happy with where I'm at now. But if I had known then what I know now, I probably would have transitioned.

Huggs, Renee

[erickka]

I am also pretty happy right where I am at, but hindsight is always 20/20...... Who knows????

[Khriss]

I don't beleive it would have made a real difference in my life. In the 70's, I was well into my journey. Thinking back, I didn't have to deal with all of the labels we have now. I knew how I felt inside and just let it develope. However, having the information this site offers and the sharring of stories can be so usefull to someone looking for a little direction.

Lanore

After reading Your posts .. I believe I have felt Your conflicts too !?
I'll allways be a sinner though (and how so ?) such judgements should come from ..a Greater Power..
.. Who I'll be accountable to .... ? "K"


















eh ? ..just askin' "K"

[jonnie64]

It may have made me feel less alone. I started CDing when I was very young and I used to think that I was the ONLY person who did this! I was a bit naive I guess, and felt very guilty about it. Perhaps the WWW would have been a means of support way back then.........

[Jilmac]

:thumbsdn:i was 7 in 1952 and that was the first timt i ever wore girls clothes. i put on panties and a dress on a dare from a cousin. i knew right then that there was something special about girls clothes, but in 1952, for a boy to do or even think about anything girly, he would be chastized, teased, or even worse, institutionalized.

after that first time, i experimented with my mom's and sisters' clothes. mom's were too big but i hed three older sisters to choose from so i could always find something that would fit. i experimented until age 15 when one of my sisters died unexpectedly. in my grief, i wore her clothes so i could be with her spirit. this was 1960 and it was still taboo for a boy to dress in girls clothes. i felt a great deal of shame but also a great deal of confusion over why it was so unacceptable. after all, it was only clothes.

i',ve been dressing seriously since then but always in secret because of the unwillingness of my family, friends, and society as a whole. even in the free love 60's there weren't many breakthroughs for dressers. i still remember hearing a lot of derogatory statements about men with long hair. in fact, some employres would fire a guy who grew his hair longer than the accepted norm. it was well into the eighties before society realized that there were actually people with different lifestyles.

yes i believe the internet had a big impact on society's view but we also have our gay and lesbian comrades to thank for their struggle for acceptance. between the lgbt community and the internet, we've come a long way baby! and now we're here to stay. i no longer dress in shame, although still in private, but now i can walk proud and be the girl i wanted to be at age seven.:thumbsup: Jill

[JoAnnDallas]

If we had the internet and such back in the 70's, I sure I would have come out of the closet back then. I was single in the 70's, so would not had to worry about having the talk with the wife.

[Kris]

Okay, my understanding is that if you are TS you are from the time you were born, or before. That your soul was put into the wrong body.

If you are a CD, then you value and nurture both sexes in yourself.

Are you now saying that a CD can suddenly become TS..... where you thought you were part man before?

I'm sooooo confused.

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

[Emma England]

I'll let you know in 40 years time.

If internet was available in the 1960's, then people at that time would have questioned what if the 1920's had internet etc.

[RobertaFermina]

I'm cool with how it is, CDing for 1 year now, since age 48.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Wendy me]

for sure it might have changed things i would have know that i was alright (mostly) took me a long time to understand me for who or what i am .... i joined here on 09-10-2004 just a short while before that i got my first computer.... i had no idea what i was doing with it .... now i am a administer here .. i would not have traded my family for anything ... but could i have turned out different ????? just a possibility ....... hell could i be trans what ever now???? might be could be ... for now happy works ....(mostly)......

[jennifer41356]

I would have started hormones so i wouldnt lose some of my hair and I would be living full time:cheer:

[Daintre]

It would have been a real plus for the information that you can cull from it. When I was young, all I had was a library (just books at that time). I found out about TGism in an abnormal psychology text, that screwed me up for a good long time, it was the only information I had.

I also feel that with more information, I might...might...have had a better chance of staying married.

[tricia_uktv]

Okay, my understanding is that if you are TS you are from the time you were born, or before. That your soul was put into the wrong body.

If you are a CD, then you value and nurture both sexes in yourself.

Are you now saying that a CD can suddenly become TS..... where you thought you were part man before?

I'm sooooo confused.

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

Kris,

What about a TV who doesn't know which way to turn?

It was the internet which primarily changed me. Before I felt it was wrong because nobody (seemed to) feel the way I felt. As soon as I knew there were other people out there I felt far more relaxed about what I wanted to do (ha ha I was frightened to death) but ...

It gives confidence, dating opportunities, instructions on how to do things, friends, meetings and many many opportunities. The opportunities weren't there before the Internet, so I'd turn the question round. Would you able to do what you can do now without the Internet?

I just think its brilliant its happened - just wish I was 20 again (but don't we all)

[Rebecca Jackson]

What a great question, and one which I've also thought a lot about. If I had access to all the information and support available now I know my life would have turned out very differently. I would not have felt so isolated and thought I was the only person with these feeling. I would have been so grateful to talk with other crossdressers, and to know it was okay to enjoy feeling soft and pretty. It would have made my life so much easier. But, my life is what it is, and I have two amazing sons, and that is something that I'd never want to change!

[Kelsy]

Okay, my understanding is that if you are TS you are from the time you were born, or before. That your soul was put into the wrong body.

If you are a CD, then you value and nurture both sexes in yourself.

Are you now saying that a CD can suddenly become TS..... where you thought you were part man before?

I'm sooooo confused.

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

Hi Kris, I do think that there may be many CDers that denie the fact that they may actually be ts and many just aren't sure!! you think you're confused!!:heehee:

:hugs:Kelsy

[Dawn Marie]

I too am over 40,50 and if I would have had the internet and the tolerances of today back then, I would have gone alot farther and made some peoples lives less misrable. Actually I would probably be in full transition by now, SRS and all and probably be much happier with myself.

[natasha]

Wow, if the internet were around in the 70's and I had access to a site like this, things probably would be quite different. I am pretty sure I would have acted on my thoughts long ago, as I thought that I was the only one on the planet that was drawn to the feminine side. I kept it hidden and told no one about the thoughts going through my head, it was quite frustrating but there was nowhere to express my feelings so I just kept it "my little secret". Things are working well though, a wonderful understanding wife and two exceptional kids. So I guess it wasnt a bad thing. OOOOOOOHHHHH but you do wonder!!!

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Yep, about to hit 45 here, but I dont think i would have done anything any differently unless I had been born 25 years later ;)

[EDNA]

I know for sure. That Crossdressing was around in the 1800s and as time has been going on. Crossdressing has been better. In some ways and I hope. That it will be. The way of life and a lot more open.

I have enjoyed my life as a CD and I still CD. Also men still buy be Drinks and want me to Dance with them. In which is a great honor.

[ElleCD]

More tolerance more information and e-bay. There would have been no saving me. I wake up every morning and thank the Lord that the mysoginist 1970s bloke culture drove me firmly into the closet. I particularly blame the Bay City Rollers. There is strong evidence that the Bay City Rollers have been responsible for most of the evils visited upon the world in the last 30 years includibng Ant and Dec (who were born in 1975).

[GailTulane]

For sure my life would be very, very, different. I would have met other CDs at a young age, gone out, and built a life from the outset that allowed completely for me to be myself.
I can't regain the time, but I am slowly working towards starting over in a new life that will allow me to be myself.

[susie evans]

i am happy with the way things are today and am glad to have grown up in the early sixty's although i think things are more accepted now when i first went out in the early seventy's i will keep haveing fun :hugs:

susie

[Patti Girl]

Good question and I have often thought about that.

I've learned a lot about CD/TG/TS in the past few years over the net. Sure, a lot of the material is fantasy, but even that shows that my feelings are common, whether or not they are "normal".

Without the 'net, it's too easy to feel that our feelings are just a weird sexual kink.

Speaking of "the old days", I remember sneaking into my mom's underwear back in the 50's. I didn't do anything with women's clothes for the next 30 or 40 years. I wonder if that early age activity is normal for young males, or if it was an early indication of something I have only recently recognized.

Patti

[TerriM]

I have asked myself that question often. Im 59. I think if I had known that this part of me wasnt going away I would have told my fiance at the time and she probally wouldn't have married me. We have had discussions to that effect and thats the impression I got from her. So I wouldnt have married her and I wouldnt have had my kids and my beautiful grandkids wouldnt be here. So all in all Im happy the way things worked out.

Yours Terri

[carolinewalker_2000]

"What if?" has to be the saddest question around. Yes of course it was hardeR back in the pre-internet days. I know I felt I was a one-off freak. I can't begin to describe the exileration I felt when, through the internet, I found there was a whole community of us girls out there.

It is lovely to dream what choices one might have made had one known more at the time, but the fact is we didn't. No point looking back with regret; only look forward with hope!

[Billijo_06]

We are who we are! The internet only gave us more information about the subject and brought us together.

[corrinediane]

I would have been different for me. Probably more open to having a relationship with another cd. Who knows!:hugs:

[Samantha B L]

If I'd have had access to the internet when I was 11 or 12 I would've been in 7th heaven. Come to think of it my Mom and Dad probably would have said "you've got a TV in the living room and a radio and record player in your bedroom. So what the hell do you want with this crazy new internet anyway?!" And then maybe there's the off chance that they would've eventually said "we'll see if we can afford it when your Dad gets his Christmas bonus".

[veronicagirl]

You "youngsters" have it nice! Back then..... the only information (about transvestism) was in psych books. Only a few gal's shoes went up to size 10. Most stopped at size 9, which is a guy's 7! There was only 1 bi-monthly magazine about Drag Queens and it cost about 50 bucks in today's money. No ebay, No openly cd bars, you were ALONE! I'm still amazed when I come to this site, and enjoy all the different questions, comments and answers.

[Annesah]

By the time I was six I wanted to be a girl but suppressed it with psudo machoism until I was 27 (1975). I believed I was a mental defective. If I knew then what I know now I would have certainly transitioned and most of what I know now is a result of the internet. My life would have been completely different. The internet is the most important development sense the invention of the printing press perhaps eclipsing that historic benchmark
because of its global availability. I am totally awed by this cyber world.

[Cassy11]

Well we didn't have the internet as it is today way back then. We have it now. It's ours to take what we want from it. The information and heart felt stories I have found on this site have been a great help to me. At the speed we going at, who knows where we'll be in 20, 30 or 40 years.

[shauna 9]

For me, it would have made all the difference in the world. the net has made a huge difference,

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I am over 40 and then some and I know for sure things would have been different for me. For many years I felt that I was alone in this and it was wierd and that I was a nut job for doing it. Wow what a little bit of knowledge can bring. I for sure would have lived my life full time as a crossdresser and would not have had a sex change but would have been very happy living my life as a woman. I am happy with my family and my life as it is now but if I had taken a different path that would have been allright also. Everyone says what if this happened than you wouldn't have "that" in your life, well you wouldn't have experienced it so you wouldn't feel the lose of it now would you? Of course everything does happen for a reason so we must play with the cards we have been dealt.
Happy holidays to all my sisters here and a wonderful New Year.

[HiDesert Heidi]

In the 70's it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference to me. I was contented with being underdressed when I was sure to get away with it. I was married, had a young son and an old Harley and really good friends. We road and partied and road and partied and road and partied. I wouldn't give that up for nothing. Probably would have used it for finding more women to party with. But from the mid 80's, long before the ravishes of growing old started to take effect, I could easily have transformed into a very believable woman. But only because of the ease of buying clothing and things. I have always been quite confident and confortable with whatever degree of dressing that I have been into at any given time. I never needed any form of counseling or support. But often these days when talking with my brother, we both agree that we were born too soon because women these days are so much more open and in charge of what they want besides being married and having families. If I had known then what I know now.....

[Denielleinheels]

I would like to think that there would have been more acceptance if the info was out there. Maybe not but all we can do is try to be happy now. I also thank god for the fact that there are placs like here to allow us to freely talk about our issues/concerns and victories.:2c:

[Cheyenne Skye]

When I was a teenager the only sources of information on transgendered individuals was either library books or the talk shows like Donahue and Geraldo. I used to check the TV listings every week to see if those shows would have a CD or TG guest on them. If I had access to the internet then, I would have had more access to the resources that would have allowed me to determine just how far I want to go down this (for me anyway) slippery slope. I really think I might have transitioned from an early age had I had the information and resources so readily available today. I think the thing stopping a lot of us from transitioning now is that we have already built our lives around all the usual male expectations. Having a wife, children and being a pillar of the community. How many of us could just give all that up in a heartbeat to become the woman we always envisioned we could be? I know some will say "That's easy, I would do it.". But for most, we would have to think long and hard about how such a transition would affect those around us, our families and friends. And the financial aspects of a transition are enormous. So we have to say "NO, I can't jeopardize my family just to satisfy my own needs.". We deal with our feelings the best we can. If that means only getting to dress occasionally in the privacy of our own homes, then so be it.
Of course it is always fun to think of all the big "What if's?" in our lives. What if I had married Jane instead of June? etc.