First time - meet up

[rachel12]

I recently met a gentleman online and have been instant messaging each other for a while now. We lately have been chatting about meeting up at a hotel for some play. I'm nervous as I've never dressed for anyone before. Although nervous, I'm also very eager to try the new experience that I've dreamt about many times. His only request was white stockings and thong. And advice or tips would be very appreciated.

Thanks in advance...

[Shelly Preston]

I would say the first thing you should do is be very very careful

I dont know if I would want to meet someone at a hotel until I knew them better

Tell someone where you are going so they can ring you so they know you are safe

[Shadeauxmarie]

I would say the first thing you should do is be very very careful

I dont know if I would want to meet someone at a hotel until I knew them better

Tell someone where you are going so they can ring you so they know you are safe


VERY ditto! Meet them for a cup of coffee in drab. Tell this man that you have to call someone after you are on the way home to tell them you are safe.

[jaina]

I recently met a gentleman online and have been instant messaging each other for a while now. We lately have been chatting about meeting up at a hotel for some play. I'm nervous as I've never dressed for anyone before. Although nervous, I'm also very eager to try the new experience that I've dreamt about many times. His only request was white stockings and thong. And advice or tips would be very appreciated.

Thanks in advance...

A restaurant first.
An STD test, a follow-up in 30 days THEN maybe a hotel for play.

[SweetCaroline]

I'd be careful, and approach meeting others for the first time the way I would approach on line dating.

The best advice I have is to meet in the day time, schedule the meeting for a short period of time, say maybe an hour. Meet in a place that doesn't serve alcohol, such as a coffee shop. And most of all make sure someone knows where you are.

I've met some wonderful, wonderful people through the internet, but there are still a lot of crazies out there. Be careful, be familiar with your surroundings, know who you're meeting before hand.

Good luck. :thumbsup:

[Eugenie]

I agree with all the other girls, I would be extremely cautious on a first encounter...

Actually, I never go dressed "en femme" for the first encounter with a new person, be it another CD, a GG or a man. I generaly go "in drab". There have been CD sisters who fell in a trap and had a bad time...

One possibility is also to get on a mutual web cam session first, so you get a better idea of the person you plan to meet. But even that is vastly insufficient.

I hope all this isn't too disapointing...

Let us know how you managed with this first meeting. I dont mean the intimate part, but just the "play safe" approach...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[sterling12]

Can't emphasis this enough. Like others have said, MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE. And, no matter how charming he is, no matter how persuasive, no matter what inducements, DO NOT go anywhere with this man by yourself!

Down here in Tampa we had a T-Gurl do that very thing, she ended up very dead! When she left The Club with him, bet she thought he was very charming.

You do not know this person, no matter how many times you have talked on The Net. IM's do not breed familiarity....they breed opportunity for people who want to take advantage of others.

Let's try a test, and I think it's a good one for testing anyone's sincerity. You get on The Blower and talk to this guy, tell him you really love some cockamamie hobby. Hell, tell him you like to collect leaves and press them in a scrapbook, or tell him anything you care to name, just make sure you express real excitement about this pursuit. Give him a few minutes or until the next time you talk. Watch and see if he doesn't "reflect back," your thoughts. "Oh Wow, I was saying to myself just the other day, why can't I find a gal who really loves the outdoors and has hobbies." Do you get the picture, usually this indicates a manipulative person...they will stroke you at all opportunity's and flatter your ego. And usually, it's to achieve their aims. Stay away!

Your probably going to get a lot more of this, EVERYONE is going to warn you! Are we being cynical? Sure we are! Life teaches you that.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Kris]

Can't emphasis this enough. Like others have said, MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE. And, no matter how charming he is, no matter how persuasive, no matter what inducements, DO NOT go anywhere with this man by yourself!

Down here in Tampa we had a T-Gurl do that very thing, she ended up very dead! When she left The Club with him, bet she thought he was very charming.

You do not know this person, no matter how many times you have talked on The Net. IM's do not breed familiarity....they breed opportunity for people who want to take advantage of others.

Let's try a test, and I think it's a good one for testing anyone's sincerity. You get on The Blower and talk to this guy, tell him you really love some cockamamie hobby. Hell, tell him you like to collect leaves and press them in a scrapbook, or tell him anything you care to name, just make sure you express real excitement about this pursuit. Give him a few minutes or until the next time you talk. Watch and see if he doesn't "reflect back," your thoughts. "Oh Wow, I was saying to myself just the other day, why can't I find a gal who really loves the outdoors and has hobbies." Do you get the picture, usually this indicates a manipulative person...they will stroke you at all opportunity's and flatter your ego. And usually, it's to achieve their aims. Stay away!

Your probably going to get a lot more of this, EVERYONE is going to warn you! Are we being cynical? Sure we are! Life teaches you that.

Peace and Love, Joanie

I so agree with being very very careful. I would do the same thing. I met a friend from the net at the local store.

I agree that you have to listen to what his person is saying but when I am interested in someone, I try to digest their hobbies, even the ones that are silly in my opinion and find something to say about them. That to me doesn't scream manipulation but active listening skills and interest. I would be worried that you aren't meeting for a shopping day, or dinner first, and are moving straight into a motel room. THAT is a huge red flag.

Guys who are abusive, like to start to fast, wont take responsibility for their own lives, often don't hold a stable job, they swoop you QUICKLY and can't live without you, their ex partners are always just crazy, they try to see how much control that you are willing to give them .. they call all the time, for instance and make sure you are home, or if they can make you get up and ignore your needs for theirs.

My ex couldn't live without me, no one was as good as me. He called at all hours of the day and night, all his ex's are idiots or the B word, and when I was working construction he brought me lunch everyday. Not for any other reason but to let the guys on my crew know I was taken. I used to tell him he was marking his territory. Kind of scary actually. Anyway, in all my dv work, that is what you should look for.. they are called red flags. If it seems to good to be true, then it probably is. Trust you GUT........ if it feels wrong, don't do it. And please always have a back up plan.

When I met my friend we did end up going to her motel room.... (NOT for sex) but I called a friend on the way in and said, yeah we're together and this is where we are, and this is the room number.. and I will call you when I am going home..... you should hear from me by 10 PM.. etc.. I wanted her and my friend to know that I wasn't someone just out on the hook with her all alone and I do have a whole world behind me. Thankfully she was absolutely wonderful and we argued over who would open the doors of the car, because I thought I should for her, and she thought she should for me. It was fun really. But we both knew up front that SEX was the last thing that was going to happen.

Good luck and I hope all goes well. When are you going to meet so we know when to be concerned if you don't come back? Gosh I am a momma bear, huh? :heehee:

:hugs: and :love:'s,
Kris

[Joni T]

You can't be too careful. Arrange with a friend to call you at a pre-determined time. This will serve two basic principles: First to ascertain if you are still alive and kicking, and secondly , if things aren't going pretty it gives you an "out", i.e. "That's my friend ________ and (s)he needs my assistance right away." It's called a safety net and we all need them from time to time. Above all, don't let your guard down and be aware of your surroundings.
Have fun but BE CAREFUL. We all luv ya'.
Joni

[AmandaM]

This is a bad idea unless you are some kind of black belt or something. Friends first. For awhile.

[nikki_t]

I once got stalked years ago and it was damned scary. So ditto on all the "be careful" replies.

[Kate Simmons]

Just remember, anyone who is genuine will not be afraid to meet on your terms.

[Jilmac]

I recently met a gentleman online and have been instant messaging each other for a while now. We lately have been chatting about meeting up at a hotel for some play. I'm nervous as I've never dressed for anyone before. Although nervous, I'm also very eager to try the new experience that I've dreamt about many times. His only request was white stockings and thong. And advice or tips would be very appreciated.

Thanks in advance...

Rachel, please for your own safety [B]Do not meet a stranger at a hotel, y ou have no idea what kind of trouble you could encounter.:thumbsdn: I know from experience because I
invited a so called admirer up to my apartment about 12 years ago. He started hitting on me as soon as the door closed. I started yelling and threatened to call the cops. I managed to push him out in the hall and a neighbor downstairs hollered up that cops were on their way. That was a close call for me, and I learned a valuable lesson from it. Now I never meet anyone for the first time unless it's in a very public place.And if you have any apprehension at all, don't even consider a second meeting. I sincerely hope you heed my warning girl. All My Love, Jill

[MsJanessa]

I'm not going to tell you exactly what to do but My advice mirrors the be careful line above----I wouldn't meet him in drab though, at least not the first time, may ruin the fantasy for both of you. My advice is to go ahead and rent the hotel room, then arrange to meet him in a local club--preferably a gay bar.

go there 1/2 an hour prior to the arranged time---when he shows up, make sure he is sober and it's somebody you want to play with--also you might introduce him to some of the people at the bar that you know--then suggest that you and he go to your hotel---you in your car and he in his and go ahead and play(safe sex only--USE A CONDOM)--if he gives you bad vibes, or is not what is advertized, or refuses to meet your other friends at the bar, thank him for buying you the drink but tell him that you have to get up early the next day so you have to go home alone---when making the plans in advance do not tell him about renting the hotel room---that is just your secret---

also wouldn't take him to your apt or house the first time--you might not want him to know where you live.--WHOOPS guess I did tell you exactly what to do. PS Don't be suprised if he never shows up---many cyber nuts only talk online and never have any intention of meeting.

[Kathy Renee]

Please be careful. I agree with everyone about a premeeting to size up the situation. Women have a 6th sense, called intuition. I am not sure if a male CD has this sense. Don't get caught up in the emotion. Stay safe.
Love,
kathy

[Stephenie S]

I recently met a gentleman online and have been instant messaging each other for a while now. We lately have been chatting about meeting up at a hotel for some play. I'm nervous as I've never dressed for anyone before. Although nervous, I'm also very eager to try the new experience that I've dreamt about many times. His only request was white stockings and thong. And advice or tips would be very appreciated.

Thanks in advance...

OK, hon. Let's see. This is your second post. You've never dressed for anyone before. This is an experience you've never had, just dreamed about. You've never met this guy, or even seen him.

And now you are heading for a hotel room to have sex with him? You are aware of that, are you not?

Good plan, sweetie. (NOT!!) This is not a good plan for ANYONE, and especially not for a newbie like you. Where did you learn that it's good practice to have sex with total strangers?

That's not the way to do it. You probably know this or you wouldn't be asking for advice here. Well, you got good advice from everyone. From how to actually DO it (dumb), to don't do it at all (smart), it was all good advice.

The usual way is to get to know someone before you jump into bed with them. It's a tried and true method. Sometimes even then it doesn't work out that well. Just use your brain, dear. Think this through.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I agree with all that say be careful, with one proviso... Don't do it, unless you have the ability to control every aspect of the "date". Ms Janessa said it very well. If this person is really interested in a relationship that means even a little then they will respect your needs to be safe. Have a friend call you on your cell 15-30 minutes in if you do go for it and if you don't answer than your friend calls the police, you can even tell him that this is the plan if things get out of hand. If things are going well than you can answer the phone and have your friend check back in a little while.

[katieblush]

The net hmmm well i met a guy after chatting to him online he seemed great at the time,we met in a car park then went to his home at least i think it was is home,so he's all nice to me and i feel safe so i get changed into female clothes,have a glass of wine we start chatting then on goes the tv/vcr with a porno on,now i had met this guy with the intention of being friends and taking it slowly this took me by supprise,feeling totally scared i let this situation progress its hard to explain but i had lost control of the situation,I allways carry condoms and this guy tried to have unprotected sex with me i had to beg him to have a condom on this made him quite mad.
So i managed to say good-bye after a long while of being in fear of what this guy could have planned for me,walking out to my car still having make up on did not bother me i had to get out of that situation i drove out of the area cleaned my face and felt shocked and upset with how i let this guy control me.
So big lesson for me there,it could have been worse,he could have had his mates in the house or cameras ,and if you did get raped would you run to the police?

[Amanda Shaft]

You would be as mad as a box of frogs to go through with this! Think again.
Amanda

[rachel12]

Thanks for all the replies. I understand the need for concern. However, most of you mention a relationship. I don't seek or want a relationship with this man. I'm a married man and so is he. This is just a discrete hookup to live out a fantasy of a lifelong cd. I will be the one getting the room in a nice hotel. I will dress in the room before he arrives. I can not and won't go out in public dressed. The sole purpose of the meeting is sex. I may be naive but what can happen in a hotel room.

[Edwina]

Oy vay! .:rolleyes:
(Is that how you spell it?)
Edwina

[Mitch23]

public place, my dear - better safe than sorry - if hes unwilling to go for that then he's probably not genuine

mitch

[Brianna Lovely]

Thanks for all the replies. I understand the need for concern. However, most of you mention a relationship. I don't seek or want a relationship with this man. I'm a married man and so is he. This is just a discrete hookup to live out a fantasy of a lifelong cd. I will be the one getting the room in a nice hotel. I will dress in the room before he arrives. I can not and won't go out in public dressed. The sole purpose of the meeting is sex. I may be naive but what can happen in a hotel room.

Although I agree with the advice given by the other girls, I wonder. I do understand that you're just doing this for sex, but it is a good idea to let someone else know who you'll be with.

That being said, I wonder, how many biological males, on this board, would have considered a second "date", if she didn't "give it up" the first time?

Dispite all the fears and concern for your well being, there are millions of "straight" people, going out on one night "dates" every day. I wonder if they're so fearfull?

[Jodi]

Thanks for all the replies. I understand the need for concern. However, most of you mention a relationship. I don't seek or want a relationship with this man. I'm a married man and so is he. This is just a discrete hookup to live out a fantasy of a lifelong cd. I will be the one getting the room in a nice hotel. I will dress in the room before he arrives. I can not and won't go out in public dressed. The sole purpose of the meeting is sex. I may be naive but what can happen in a hotel room.

There have been a whole bunch of dead people that have met strangers to fulfil a fantasy. I would call your plans utter stupidity.

Jodi

[Deborah_UK]

What about your wife? You're a married man. Does she know you're going off to have sex with another man?

If no, then this is cheating.

[crunchysoda]

I truly hope this "brand new member" is a TROLL!

Three posts and talking about "what could happen in a hotel room!?!"

Are you freaking kidding me? A married man meeting another married man for sex and you want advice?

<shakes her head>

You could end up so very dead, thats what happens in motel rooms ALL the time. Not to mention your WIFE, in all of this. I have no sympathy for you whatsoever.

I *HOPE* you are a troll. :thumbsdn:

Either that or you made up a new username to ask this question.

:straightface:

Oh and cant forget this smiley! :2c:

[scarlet]

Thanks for all the replies. I understand the need for concern. However, most of you mention a relationship. I don't seek or want a relationship with this man. I'm a married man and so is he. This is just a discrete hookup to live out a fantasy of a lifelong cd. I will be the one getting the room in a nice hotel. I will dress in the room before he arrives. I can not and won't go out in public dressed. The sole purpose of the meeting is sex. I may be naive but what can happen in a hotel room.

Are you really that f***ing stupid (what can happen in a hotel room ?) anything could happen and you could wind up dead. My:2c:

[katieblush]

Following a fantasy can lead to untold dangers,some of us are lucky to survive a close call and others well they do not have a chance to tell there side because they are dead or have to live in silence with regard to there actions for the rest of there lives.

AIDs, in the heat of the moment protection must be used,there are some folk out there who want to spread it.

[christina marie]

wowsers!whats next??? Russian roulette?

[Jazzmine]

Why are you asking this question on this forum?
Go back and read post#26 from alarmclockgirl GG.
Ditto
Ditto
Ditto

Sheesh, the combination of cheating on your wife, crossdressing, another man for sex, and motel for first meeting in secret, well if that all turns to custard it's gonna look real good when they write your obituary, isn't it?

Sorry - can't even send you a hug for this question!
Jazzmine