Told My Wife Today

[TonyaV]

Girls - I need a big CHEER!

I told my wife today and things went better that I expected. She even took me to her closet and had me try on one of her dresses, only to tell me I look like an ugly girl. I didn't care, as I know what I am capable of being en-femme. I even faked being clumsy, too - did great acting. I was giggling inside.

She then told me she does not approve and asked me to try not to keep wanting to dress up now that she knows, and that I should try to suppress the issue as I did all these years. I figured, I should not push the issue, and told her I'll definitely try. At least, now, I said, if you happen to walk in on me, I won't get all panicked.

I am soooo relieved, I had to share with all of you...

[Deanna2]

Good for you. It need not matter how you look, but how you feel.

You may be able to test some (easy) limits and get your wife more used to the idea. Wearing pantyhose under your trousers for example.

[StacyCD]

Go slowly. Very slowly. Let her process the information--it probably is a shock and if you push too hard to fast you may not get the result you desire. GOOD LUCK!

[Eugenie]

That's wonderful. It is such a relief not to have to lie to the person that you cherish so much.

Sh'ell need to digest this news first... Not so easy... But if you are very attentionate with her, even more than before you told her, and if you don't rush things up, there are chances that she will at least not be mad at you for x-dressing.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[TonyaV]

Go slowly. Very slowly. Let her process the information--it probably is a shock and if you push too hard to fast you may not get the result you desire. GOOD LUCK!

That's exactly what I told her "enough discussing for one session, digest it a little then we'll re-address it". I think it all went very well. I am very excited. Thanks for the encouragements ladies. I probably couldn't have done without everyone's support. A great big thank you to all.

what brought-up the conversation was the fact I started shaving my legs as of last week - prior to that I used to get them waxed. Starting to shave I found out I had to do it more regularly, so it brought her attention to the matter compared to before I used to go for a couple of weeks, then go to the salon for waxing. She never paid attention before. I guess that turned out to be a good thing.

[Ðarissa]

Congrats on coming out and telling her Tonya.

[TonyaV]

Congrats on coming out and telling her Tonya.

Thank you darling. If it's a dream, I don't want to wake up. We've been married 20 years....

[Di]

Congrats on telling her just from here on out tell her the truth. She might have more questions in the days to come Best Wishes.

[kim85]

congrats on telling her. Sorry it didnt go as well as it can but as others have said try to take it slow and see how things go :hugs:
Kim
xxx

[charlie]

Thank you darling. If it's a dream, I don't want to wake up. We've been married 20 years....
Wow! You are the man, and the woman! I just haven't gotten that kind of courage up yet. I do admire your courage and hope that things keep going O.K. She is still bubbling and digesting what you have told her so maybe there are more fireworks brewing. I wish you the best!

[TonyaV]

Wow! You are the man, and the woman! I just haven't gotten that kind of courage up yet. I do admire your courage and hope that things keep going O.K. She is still bubbling and digesting what you have told her so maybe there are more fireworks brewing. I wish you the best!

A lot easier than I could ever imagine...

[cjflgirl]

good for you I know the feeling of telling someone you care about that you like to crossdress it is not easy. My story did not go so well she told me to pack up and get out after being together for five years. I hope for you that she will grow to understand it and learn that it can be a fun thing for the two of you. I have found a wonderful woman who understands me and encourages me to crossdress, so they are out there keep up the positive outlook.

[TxKimberly]

Awesome! You will find that very few wives will embrace it and be delighted at the idea. To find that your wife hasn't run screaming is a fine start! :-)

[Sally2005]

The second part when she says "I don't approve" and "stop doing it" is the part I don't want to hear when I tell my wife. I want her to accept me for who I am.

I can't say what works because I haven't done it yet, but maybe your next step should be to wait a while or give her some information to read...and wait for her to make a comment/joke to you about CDing. Then just try to make it fun for her and show her the positives.

[Michelle 51]

I,m glad for you.My wife knows and it makes life a lot easier.Do go slow because most wives will tolerate it but if they had a choice they would just as soon that it would go away

[rachel_mead]

Good for you Tonya! I know how hard it is to tell a wife about crossdressing. I hope things turn out ok for you and your wife.
Rachel

[Kieroney]

I also keep hearing about putting all the cloths away, and keeping things in the closet like they were all those years.

[TonyaV]

Girls - thanks again for the all the support and encouragement.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Good first start by telling your wife after 20 years. I waited 19 to tell mine and then I feel that I made the mistake of spoon feeding her the truth of it all. My truth was that I had been doing this for 40 years since I was 6 or 7 and that it never really went away just put it out of my mind at times, and that was very hard. I want to dress full time and she now knows this about me, it won't happen though because it would ruin our life together and she means more to me than the dressing as a woman. I will deal with the hand that God has dealt me. I started by telling her it was just something I liked to do once or twice a year, what a whopper of a falsehood that was. As I got more and more bold with it she realized that I was not being honest about my crossdressing and this put undue strain on our marriage. Let her know the truth as soon as you can.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Girls - I need a big CHEER!

I told my wife today and things went better that I expected. She even took me to her closet and had me try on one of her dresses, only to tell me I look like an ugly girl. I didn't care, as I know what I am capable of being en-femme. I even faked being clumsy, too - did great acting. I was giggling inside. ...


It sounds cool that your wife gave you a shot... but could you explain the "faked being clumsy" part?
Not so be antagonistic, but if I read that correctly you assume women are pre-disposed to being clumsy.

Zara

[MsJanessa]

It sounds cool that your wife gave you a shot... but could you explain the "faked being clumsy" part?
Not so be antagonistic, but if I read that correctly you assume women are pre-disposed to being clumsy.

Zara

I'm pretty sure what she ment is that CDs who don't have a lot of practice dressing as women are clumsy---after all she didn't want her wife to think she does it all the time.

[Cristy.Cream]

Go slowly. Very slowly. Let her process the information--it probably is a shock and if you push too hard to fast you may not get the result you desire. GOOD LUCK!

Yes. Just let her relax don’t even bring it up. See what happens. Take her out for dinner + a little romance get her some roses and a card that says something like thank you for loving me so much or something like that.

[Bonnie D]

It sounds cool that your wife gave you a shot... but could you explain the "faked being clumsy" part?
Not so be antagonistic, but if I read that correctly you assume women are pre-disposed to being clumsy.

Zara

Hi Zara. I read it as she didn't want to appear too practiced. It would be like a man putting on a pair of heels and walking very well in them. How could that be without a certain amount of practice?

Tonya. Why couldn't you just tell her how long you have been doing this and not have to fake anything? Maybe on your next talk. Tell her also that this is not something that will be going away and something will have to be worked out. If going back into the closet is the resolution for now then maybe you will have to, at least she knows about it now. You can try again another time. Educate her and she may come around to some kind of compromises.

Like Kimberly said, she hasn't run screaming.

Bonnie

[RobertaFermina]

It is interesting that she enouraged you to dress in one of her dresses, then called you an "ugly girl."

I guess she could have been saying this with playful honesty, rather than ridicule. However...it does seem like bait and switch to me.

Seems she is curious for her own part, but hung up on what it all "looks like."

:rose: :2c: :rose:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I'm pretty sure what she ment is that CDs who don't have a lot of practice dressing as women are clumsy---after all she didn't want her wife to think she does it all the time.

Ahhhhhhh
Thank you!! :)

Sometimes our brains can take us places without all the information at hand... or possibilities :)

[Dawn D.]

Tonya, Good on ya, Hun! That is a big and very scarey first step. As others have said, go slow, stay honest, then talk. From here it sounds as though you have a very good possibility that things could work out. A question to you, after having been so open with your Wife, do you find yourself feeling closer to her? If so, let her know. Treat her special, she deserves it. This is a huge adjustment for GG's and they need support and attention from you as much or maybe even more as you do from her.

After she has had time to digest this revelation, you might try bringing it up in a casual way. As an example, if she has not already asked you more about it, give it a try by asking her "since it has been a while, I was just wondering if you've given anymore thought to the crossdressing issue we talked about a while back?" It's a way to break open a dialogue in case she does not get back to you first with her thoughts. Don't be to surprised if she tells you she hasn't thought much on it. If she is not yet comfortable talking about it, afford her more time. Just try to keep the communication going. It can take a while for sure. However, acceptance is possible. Good luck! I've got my fingers crossed!!



Dawn

[TonyaV]

I'm pretty sure what she ment is that CDs who don't have a lot of practice dressing as women are clumsy---after all she didn't want her wife to think she does it all the time.

That's exactly the case.

[TonyaV]

Yes. Just let her relax don’t even bring it up. See what happens. Take her out for dinner + a little romance get her some roses and a card that says something like thank you for loving me so much or something like that.

Girls - I am so proud of my wife. She only mentioned it a couple times since, just like passing by. Otherwise, everything else has been very normal.

[TonyaV]

Hi Zara. I read it as she didn't want to appear too practiced. It would be like a man putting on a pair of heels and walking very well in them. How could that be without a certain amount of practice?

Tonya. Why couldn't you just tell her how long you have been doing this and not have to fake anything? Maybe on your next talk. Tell her also that this is not something that will be going away and something will have to be worked out. If going back into the closet is the resolution for now then maybe you will have to, at least she knows about it now. You can try again another time. Educate her and she may come around to some kind of compromises.

Like Kimberly said, she hasn't run screaming.

Bonnie

Thanks - I believe I'm just going to let time and circumstances dictate the next move.

[TonyaV]

It is interesting that she enouraged you to dress in one of her dresses, then called you an "ugly girl."

I guess she could have been saying this with playful honesty, rather than ridicule. However...it does seem like bait and switch to me.

Seems she is curious for her own part, but hung up on what it all "looks like."

:rose: :2c: :rose:

I think you're 100 correct.

[TonyaV]

Tonya, Good on ya, Hun! That is a big and very scarey first step. As others have said, go slow, stay honest, then talk. From here it sounds as though you have a very good possibility that things could work out. A question to you, after having been so open with your Wife, do you find yourself feeling closer to her? If so, let her know. Treat her special, she deserves it. This is a huge adjustment for GG's and they need support and attention from you as much or maybe even more as you do from her.

After she has had time to digest this revelation, you might try bringing it up in a casual way. As an example, if she has not already asked you more about it, give it a try by asking her "since it has been a while, I was just wondering if you've given anymore thought to the crossdressing issue we talked about a while back?" It's a way to break open a dialogue in case she does not get back to you first with her thoughts. Don't be to surprised if she tells you she hasn't thought much on it. If she is not yet comfortable talking about it, afford her more time. Just try to keep the communication going. It can take a while for sure. However, acceptance is possible. Good luck! I've got my fingers crossed!!



Dawn

Thanks. I don't think we can get much closer, and I don't want her to feel I am more vulnerable now because of my "secret" that she knows. We've actually had a very strong marriage all along. I've always done things for her, and sex life is still great for both (still 2-3 times a week, after 20 years). She doesn't work; spends money like it's going out of style - even drives a 2007 S-Class Benz, all paid by MOI. What I tried to do since the talk, is act and behave like the normal me.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I'm glad it went well for you. I'm sure in time she will probably become more supportive. My own experience from when I told my wife. She at first declined to want to see any pictures of me en-femme or my wardrobe. Within a week I was dressing openly in front of her.

[PatyR]

I think it's excellent what you did, just give her some time. Only time will tell the way things are going.