Crossing the border?

[Lanore]

Just curious. How many here are on the borderline of transistioning? I believe everyone knows what I am talking about. Do I stay or do I go? For me, I just grew in to who I really am. I can't remember it ever being hard to be me. As I was growing, I never knew the word transistion. When I first heard the word, I thought, well that's different. Just a little food for thought.

Lanore

[CaptLex]

Just curious. How many here are on the borderline of transistioning? I believe everyone knows what I am talking about.
I'm not sure I do know what you mean . . . are you referring to mentally transitioning as opposed to physically transitioning, or both?

[Kate Simmons]

Like Lex, I'm wondering what you mean. Transitioning is not merely a mechanical thing. It's really about who we are inside. The physical part is just the final step that we may or may not choose to take to reflect that.:happy:

[Lanore]

I meant the question for people who are further along than just crossdressing. This is Transsexual Forum. However, if someone feels crossdressing is not enough, what would keep them from going further with their female side and if not why not? A lot of people are satisfied right where they are.

Lanore

[Cai]

I meant the question for people who are further along than just crossdressing. This is Transsexual Forum. However, if someone feels crossdressing is not enough, what would keep them from going further with their female side and if not why not? A lot of people are satisfied right where they are.

Lanore

No one who's posted so far is "just" crossdressing, so I'm still not sure what you're getting at here.

What would keep someone from going further with transition? Lots of things - family, friends, job, financial situation, living situation, personal choice...there's lots of reasons. The reason to move forward (for most) is simple - do or die.

[Lanore]

No one who's posted so far is "just" crossdressing, so I'm still not sure what you're getting at here.

What would keep someone from going further with transition? Lots of things - family, friends, job, financial situation, living situation, personal choice...there's lots of reasons. The reason to move forward (for most) is simple - do or die.

I think you just answered the question I was asking. That wasn't hard was it.

Lanore

[CaptLex]

I think you just answered the question I was asking. That wasn't hard was it.

I guess it's not too hard once you understand the question. So you were talking about the physical transition? The original question made me think you were talking about transitioning mentally.


what would keep them from going further with their female side
Or male side, for some of us.

[SirTrey]

Or male side, for some of us.
Male side here, too....I agree with Cai that it isn't an easy step to take when you have family situations, life situations (like jobs, home, etc.) to consider...but it is also true that for those of us who are truly transgendered, the only other choice is to live a lie...and to be untrue to who we are...which ultimately is VERY hard to live with....Please do keep in mind that transsexuality is not exclusive to mtf's...and the vast majority of the ftm's on this board are transgendered/transsexual, not crossdressers....so if you get comments from ftm's, and they belong to the transsexual forum, they ARE, in fact, trans, not cd's...**Trey**

[Lanore]

Thank you Sirtrey and Captlex. It is a question that would make one think. I read of those who want more but for some reason or other are unable to go there. Having had very few hurdles to jump in my life (MtoF), I am always curious as to what others go through in their lives, whether it is a physical or mental situation. We are all so different and that is what makes this place so unique.

Lanore

[SirTrey]

Thank you Sirtrey and Captlex. It is a question that would make one think. I read of those who want more but for some reason or other are unable to go there. Having had very few hurdles to jump in my life (MtoF), I am always curious as to what others go through in their lives, whether it is a physical or mental situation. We are all so different and that is what makes this place so unique.
You're welcome....And this IS a very unique place and our differences ARE interesting....It's pretty amazing to see so many people on both sides of the gender equation who wish with all their hearts they had what the other DOES have and doesn't want/need to be complete....But, in some ways, many of the experiences are very similar...in others, very different....Not easy being trans, is it?

[Cai]

Thank you Sirtrey and Captlex. It is a question that would make one think. I read of those who want more but for some reason or other are unable to go there. Having had very few hurdles to jump in my life (MtoF), I am always curious as to what others go through in their lives, whether it is a physical or mental situation. We are all so different and that is what makes this place so unique.

Lanore

We still talking about hurdles here? I think they're both situational and mental. Because before you can even begin to transition mentally, you have to accept that this is who you are. For someone from, for example, a close-minded background, this can be a difficult step.
I was lucky - I learned what FtM trans was, read into it a little bit, and went "Oh, so THAT'S what's been wrong my whole life!" And I was almost immediately very comfortable with the idea. Not everyone can do that. There's a period of adjustment, longer for some people than others.

And then even after that, there's all the situational hurdles I mentioned before.

As Trey said, it's not easy being trans. But I wouldn't trade it in - it's part of who I am.

[Vivian Best]

The reason to move forward (for most) is simple - do or die.

I reached a point in my life where I thought I reached the "do or die" point and I was afraid it would be "die". Like many, I had a wife, children, good job, siblings, parents, inlaws, grandparents all of which knew nothing about my feelings. I felt it would almost kill some of them if I came out and transitioned. What do you do? How do you weigh the options? How? How? Who do you satisfy? Heavy questions that could mean life of death. At the age I was I didn't think I could start over with nothing which is what it would mean! Which would be worse, starting over or not transitioning? Let me tell you I thought long and hard on that one. It was a gut wrenching time for me. I finally made my decision that I would not transition in difference to my family and their needs. Some will say that is noble of me and others will say that was not fair to myself or maybe I wasn't a TS to start with. I don't know the answers to those points but I do know I made the correct decision to stay what I am or what I was. Do I regret it? Sometimes! Would it have been an easier life? I don't know! The one thing I do know and it is that I reached an age in life now I can now tolerate the way I am. I envy those that are of an age and point in life that they can freely make the decision in their life that will not affect so many people as mine would have and I can still dream!

[Lanore]

Trey said it very well. I wouldn't trade who I am for anything. However, there will always be a speed bump ahead.

Lanore

[Wendi {LI NY}]

I reached a point in my life where I thought I reached the "do or die" point and I was afraid it would be "die". Like many, I had a wife, children, good job, siblings, parents, inlaws, grandparents all of which knew nothing about my feelings. I felt it would almost kill some of them if I came out and transitioned. What do you do? How do you weigh the options? How? How? Who do you satisfy? Heavy questions that could mean life of death. At the age I was I didn't think I could start over with nothing which is what it would mean! Which would be worse, starting over or not transitioning? Let me tell you I thought long and hard on that one. It was a gut wrenching time for me. I finally made my decision that I would not transition in difference to my family and their needs. Some will say that is noble of me and others will say that was not fair to myself or maybe I wasn't a TS to start with. I don't know the answers to those points but I do know I made the correct decision to stay what I am or what I was. Do I regret it? Sometimes! Would it have been an easier life? I don't know! The one thing I do know and it is that I reached an age in life now I can now tolerate the way I am. I envy those that are of an age and point in life that they can freely make the decision in their life that will not affect so many people as mine would have and I can still dream!

WOW .were you looking at my life ? I think i reach a point in my transition ,that i am in a stall pattern for awhile. I wish life was not so complex. Simple would be better.:rolleyes: Wendi

[melissaK]

What would keep someone from going further with transition? Lots of things - family, friends, job, financial situation, living situation, personal choice...there's lots of reasons. The reason to move forward (for most) is simple - do or die.

Ooo. Wish I had said that. Succinct. Accurate.

So my testimonial as evidence of hi24home's widsom: For me, I am not full time transitioning, not even part time, but I am on hormones the last 15 months to avoid the "die" option. Not sure where that puts me on the CD-TS spectrum. I did the regular CDing thing 15 years ago, it gave relief, but it wasn't enough to give me peace. I knew that then as I know it now. But on cross sex hormones, for the first time in my life I have had some inner peace. It comes at a price - but cheap considering where else I was headed.

hugs,
'lissa