Help With Coming Out

[CAROLINE FROST]

Hi
i'm relatively new to this. I don't normally ask for help I normally offer it to others. My problem is i've been married for five years and started crossdressing two years ago, unknown to any body at home or outside. My confidence isn't great but I am dying to share how I feel with others in the same boat who could help me to become better at cross dressing. I am beginning to want to go out and be accepted as my new self but as i mentioned earlier my confidence won't allow it. I've been wondering if it would be easier to goto a town where your not known and go out there first to help get my confidence up or not. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[gail price]

Hi Ya Caroline welcome to the forum I have been a cd since 9 (now 48) and have been out and about on and off. Until recently, I now go out almost all of the time. I would say, like most of us I would pass from the neck down. My face would attract a second glance I think.
I can’t see what you look like but if you do get read then that will deflate your confidence and send you running for cover. Whether this is in town or in a quiet street. However people seem to notice you less in a busy area as they are busy going about their daily routines etc. a trick I tried at first was to wait for the rain and then I could hide under the umbrella and as time passed I would lift the umbrella so people could see me. Once you pass a few people and they don’t notice you then you will get more confident. When the sun shines I wear my sunglasses (ladies ones) and this seems to help. I must say though once that confidence sets in your whole persona will change and you will act more like a women.
Take one step at a time. Go out for a drive and see if people notice you in the car. Then if you get read in won’t matter.
I am not really that bothered any more if I get read it’s our business if we want to be fem and wear nice things.
I could go on and perhaps this may not be any help but we could use email if you want more tips
Best of luck
:D

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

If you are not going to tell your wife than you need to go outside of your town so you will have less chance of getting recognized by family, friends or co-workers. I used to go down the highway and change into my fem clothes at a rest stop or at resteraunts that had enclosed stalls. It is very liberating to drive down the street while en-femme and as you get more comfortable you will venture out to the malls and other places where you can get out and stretch your legs in your heels. It does take time to build up your confidance and it can be intimidating to go out in public but as long as you go to safe places nobody will give you a hard time and most people will be polite if not to the point of in-differance to your attire. I go out every chance I can and it has always been exhilrating and liberating, my favorite place to go is Payless shoes, they never fail me in having a great variety of shoes in my size. I have been to Payless shoe stores in just about every state in the contiguos U.S., naturally en-femme. I would tell the wife as soon as possible, that was my biggest mistake in waiting for 19 years.

[rachel_mead]

Manchester NH?
You might try to hook up with a group like:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_manchester/
I joined the boston chapter and went one night in July in DRAB mode. It was so great to meet other crossdressers and supporters. I was comfortable with them and felt completely accepted and encouraged to come back dressed. I did the next week! Then I was so confident I started to go to malls and restaurants. Then in a few months I had done about everything and decided it was time to tell my wife. I did that, and things have never been better between us after 14+ years of marriage.
Take care,
Rachel (http://360.yahoo.com/rachel_mead)

[carolyn todd]

Hi caroline
Asking for help that what we are all here for, help and advice
which we get from every one, with it be small or large.
Do you not think that it might be best to tell your wife of
your hobby, than your wife fined out for her self.
you must be able to hide your clothes away so no one can
fined them,
but one day they will be found because of a mistake you made
you left somethink out, THEN ALL HELL BREAK LOOSE !
but that up to you.

carolyn xx

[Sandra]

If your in the UK then a lot of cds go here,

http://www.manchester2002-uk.com/maps/gay-village-map.html

Just remember if your wife finds out then there could be a lot of trouble.