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View Full Version : Shopping today vs 10 years ago



Marybeth_1966
12-07-2007, 11:53 PM
I would like to share a shopping story with everyone. Guess you can chalk it up to the fact that I am new to the site. Such liberation to actually talk about these experiences!

I love to shop--and their is no better time than the holidays to be a man in the womans department. I have shopped for my wife and myself for years. I've gotten past the fear of shopping in the womans department years ago. Maybe it has been the years of experience or just a sense of so what. What I have found lately is that shopping is maybe not enough. Lately I have become less stelth about trying to see how long a skirt or pants would fall on me. Or maybe how a jacket or coat would fit. I'm always in drab. I try to find a back corner of the department if I want to try on a coat or jacket. If it is a skirt then I try and just look for the coast to be clear and hold it up to myself. I feel an incredable rush from this experience! I do not make myself an sideshow. My goal is really to see if the clothing will fit--I'm not trying to get attention--really. In the processs I sometimes get caught by a customer or a salesperson. Generally it results to eyes raised to the sky or a gentle smile--I love that when it happens. I remember searching for pantyhose not willing to grab the first package that I found and rushing to the counter. Two young girls seem to know that my interest was greater than normal and provided knowing smiles.

In my last outing I stopped at a major department store with a big red star. I was looking at formal dresses and the salesperson said "I guess I dont have to start a dressing room for you" I dont know what triggered my response but I said "guess not cause I have not found anything that I want to try on" with a sarcastic smile. She was thrown. She then asked if I was looking for an outfit for a sepcial occasion. I answered that the occasion generally comes from the outfit and kept looking and touching the long dresses. She responded with if I had a color preference. I said in a half joking response that I needed to find a dress to go with a pair of black velvet heals that I just purchased. Without missing a beat she pulled the most wonderful dress off of the rack and said that she bought the same dress last week. The price was less than the cost of the fabric. She said that I was welcome to try it on--store was slow--no one in the dressing rooms. I froze but after looking at the dress I said I are you sure? She said yes and asked how high my heel was on my shoes. I said probably 3 inches and the next thing I know I was lead to the dressing room with her carrying the dress. I had on pretty underthings on which is not uncommon when I shop. The dress was like a magnet. I went in in drab and she floated outside to make sure that I was alone. I was shaking trying on the dress. My ead was buzzing. The dress fit perfect. She came back and asked how I was doing and asked if I wanted to step out onto the platform to look in the mirror. I was not ready for that although I really wanted to. I bought the dress and got such nice complements from her on my taste. She told me all about the function that she wore the dress to and the complements she got. OMG I have shpped for years but never expereiece this level of personal connection.

I left with my new formed confidence and purchased the shoes that I discribed in the shoe department of the same store carrying my dress in a large dress hanger bag!--same thing--no bias.

I've been shoppoing for womens clothes for almost 15 years and I honestly believe that the sales staff has never been more accepting than they are now! I hope this may inspire anyone who is shy in finding their dream outfit to push aside thier fears and realize that every salesperson wants to see that smile on a customers face regardless of gender.

Has anyone else noticed how approachable salepeople have become? Was it always this way or has the world changed in a positive way for us?

SiobhanW
12-08-2007, 06:42 AM
Has anyone else noticed how approachable salepeople have become? Was it always this way or has the world changed in a positive way for us?

One can only hope. But I tell you what, all these recent success stories make me want to go shopping!

Littlej10
12-08-2007, 06:53 AM
Great experience, so different from the more usual indifference I have found locally. I just hope the attitude is spreading.

Raychel
12-08-2007, 07:07 AM
I have never had such an experience myself. Although I think that the women in the world are getting more accepting to the fact that there are crossdressers in the world, that are just normal men. And not the freeks that the world has made us all out to be. The more accepting that they get, the more they will be willing to give you a hand while shopping. After you money is just as good, if not better than the next persons. You probably are more willing to spend ore money ion nice clothes than any woman would.

Glad youhad a good shopping trip.

Michelle 51
12-08-2007, 07:25 AM
Wow I guess if we were a little more honest sometimes the sales people really don,t care as much as we think.I was in a payless shoe store a month ago(they carry our sizes) and i was a long ways from home just killing time so i was looking at the size 12 section and a sales girl came over and very nicely said can i help and i said i,m just looking.She smiled and replyed if you see anything you like just let me know and walked off.

Joy Carter
12-08-2007, 07:40 AM
Only once I had a bad experience. And that was at the local JC Penny. I wanted to by panties, and three younger female SAs began to tease me in shrill loud voices. "this stuff is for girls !" etc. I stood my ground and an older female SA directed me to what I wanted. She was very nice and we talked of other things as I was checking out.

I haven't had a problem since. I have only once, tried things on in a small tall women's shop. If time permits, I plan on going back there dressed to make a buy, when they have their spring sale. I guess I'm drawn to the place. They have treated rather well there. "Joy's Tall Fashions" :D

EDNA
12-08-2007, 08:05 AM
I only shop Wal-Mart. The sale girls are friendly and helpful. Even if I am CD or not. At the time I am shopping. Also I found that the Items are better marked. They even made sure that the dressing room area is clear. So I can try on Dresses and tell me how I look in it. That was not done in most places Ten years ago.


PS: There are only three stores here. Wal-Mart is near by. K-Mart. never have what I am looking for and unfriendly. Target to far away.

SiobhanW
12-08-2007, 08:10 AM
I only shop Wal-Mart.

And WM carries UK supermarket Asda's George range. Only place outside the UK that I know of. Very good inexpensive designer.

susie evans
12-08-2007, 11:30 AM
i can relate with you the other night my wife and i were out (just love this time of year)a few monthes ago i bought a nice black leather skirt and have been looking for a jacket to match finaly found it and was trying it on and admireing it when the sa that i bought the skirt from walks up and is checking it out and sez that will go great with you skir you got a few months a go let me show you smoe new tops we just git in that will match my o my how things have changed in the last forty years :hugs:

susie

jennifer41356
12-08-2007, 11:45 AM
when i first started buying dresses and stuff , I was always a boy and the sales ladies were always nice..most siad they wished their S/O would buy them dresses...this was maybe 12yrs ago

now i go as a lady and buy stuff...I have never found any sales person to be rude or negative..most of the nice dept stores have the sales staff on commission , so they could care less about who was buying...if they give you good service, you'll be back

I used to go to a Dillards here in Dallas a lot and one of the sales gals would recognize me from the previous times I would be in...maybe she read me, maybe not...this was about 10yrs ago..she was always nice, recommended things , told me if the outfit looked on me...she was wondeful:love:

bridget thronton
12-08-2007, 01:10 PM
The two stores that I have received the most respect from the SA's are Avenue and Kasper's. I shop both store regularly (sometimes wearing boy clothes and sometimes wearing skirts). The SA's have seen my wife shopping with me occasionally and know that I am usually shopping to buy things for myself.

Francine Nice
12-08-2007, 01:20 PM
What a great experience. I have never had anyone offer to help. I am encouraged by your experience and will try to make contact with the sales person, next time, when shopping for my femme items. Thaks

Francine

Michelle_NY
12-08-2007, 01:53 PM
good for you sweetie. I wish I had as good a time as you did while shopping.

Nicole Erin
12-08-2007, 04:50 PM
People mentioned -
10 years ago - I don't think SA's have changed in that short a time. The ones who are making commission or want to keep their jobs realize that a sale is a sale. If they want your money they will be professional. I would say maybe 30 years ago it was not so easy, but 10? No difference. YOU are probably just becoming more confident. :thumbsup:

Target - Don't waste your time. Target seldom, if ever, has anything worth a damn.

Walmart - I like some of their things, but it is not the best quality. If you are trying to avoid riff raff, it is not a good place to shop.

JCPenney - Suprising that the younger SA's would act that way. Don't they care about their jobs? I like JCP, They have good selection and good makeup [Sephora]

Dillard's - That store is so great! I SO wish they had one closer to Indy. Their clothes are more suited for "stepping out" than being androgynous. And last time I went it was a mall in Colorado Springs [Not the Citadel], that place had a HUGE selection of hosiery. Oh my gyod! They often have sales on the Preston York and Hanes hosiery. Luv it!

Jodi
12-08-2007, 07:54 PM
I do most of my shopping in drab. I have been openly trying on clothing and shoes in stores for the last 8-10 years. All you need is honesty, courtesy, and a sense of humor, and the SA's will bend over backwards for you.

If you get an Sa that is not helpful, or at worst is rude, just ask for another SA to help you or ask to speak to the manager. Maintain your courtesy and your smile

As was said above, times are tough right now, they want to sell.

Jodi

Rita B
12-08-2007, 08:33 PM
My experience has been that the acceptance and the help you get in the "better" department stores and or boutiques is so much better. I don't know if it is because the salespeople work on commission or bonuses. They are just more accommodating.

Mitch23
12-09-2007, 12:43 PM
little bit of confidence is all you need - SAs are very helpful and generally chatty and supportive - i shop en femme or drab according to circumstances - more comfortable buying girlie things en femme. a sale is a sale and there is a recession looming!

Mitch

Stephanie-L
12-09-2007, 01:00 PM
I have been shopping and trying on in drab for about 2 years now, and have rarely had any problems. The only time was in Dillards lingerie dept, the older SA wouldn't let me try on a waist cincher I wanted to buy, and the store was slow, no shoppers at all in the dept.
On the other side, I was shopping at Avenue (my fave) last week and found a cami and top to wear for the holidays. I was in drab except for my 44D bra and forms, and I asked to try the items on. The SA led me to the dressing rooms, then said that she didn't personally have a problem but that managment had asked them to be discrete if the store was busy, there were 2 or 3 other shoppers in the store. Well, long story short, I tried, I loved, I bought. Had a nice little chat with the SA, admired the top she was wearing, asked her where she got it, and she treated me like any of her GG customers.
Anyway, I found I am becoming more "out there" and that SAs have always benn pretty accepting. And I am definatly addicted to "retail therapy".....Stephanie