MichelleBolton
12-08-2007, 12:35 PM
Girls,
For a good number of us Transition is the route we are taking. For some it is a slow journey, for others a journey that is much faster.
We recently had a thread about doubts, which thru these journey's we will all face doubt. For some, a degree of doubt, for others the doubt will turn us around, stop transition, and have us living in a gender role that we are not 100% comfortable with for the rest of our lives, simply because transition becomes too hard, we are too established, we have many responsibilities that stop us.
In looking at moving towards transition, I have reconinzed a few key critical areas to focus on, and I'm wondering what you have focused on in your transition.
#1 - Self acceptance
Accepting that I am Transgendered, and that in transition, that I will always be transgendered. When completed transition, I beleive that most will not know I am TG, but there will always be a few people that will have to know. So, in accepting, no matter what course we take, we will always be TG. In making the decision to transition, I have looked at balancing two factors: can I live the rest of my life - externally male, having the thoughts in my mind always, or do I move forward and transition, allign the thoughts and body, and be TG to some for the rest of my life? To me the answer is a simple one, it seems so clear now - as before it was cloudy.
#2 - Alignment of Body, Mind, Spirit. Acceptance of Sexuality, understanding my spirituality - reconciling what Religion says about men and women.
Ensuring that the entire mind body, and soul are in agreement with this journey. I have found that my mind desires changes, yet if I have not complelely have everything in alignment, then when changes start happening with hormones, I start questioning 'Am I ready for all of these changes?' - I'm not sure if we can always be 100% ready - I do believe that we need to align mind, body, and soul.
Additionally, I believe that we have to be completely open to our sexuality, and potential changes within our sexuality. Who are we attracted to? What are we, Gay, Bi, Hetrosexual? Simple being open to the entire spectrum allows us the freedom to express ourselves - and therefore we then don't have to beat ourselves up when we find us doing things that we thought at one time we would or could never do.
#3 - Supportive Friends and Family. Finding ways to express what is going on, and being able to explain to people what being transgendered means - even when they can not understand becuase they have never had such feelings of questiongs gender. I find that most people think gender as an absolut - that it is something they could never question.
I personally have found it much easier to explain myself to other women, I find women to be the most supportive - I have many great friends who are supportive of me - most seem to have drawn the conclusion that this is within me, and all they want is to see me happy.
On the other hand, I find it harder to explain it to men. I have a few male friends who are supportive. I find that they question, why on earth would you want to be a woman? I believe they look at it as going down the social latter, and can not see any benifit in doing so in becoming a woman. I've also had male friends who then show their male colors, and some how make this into a sexual discussion. They ask questions they would never directly ask another woman, or suggest things they would never be so direct with to an woman. It's like they then see you as a sexual object.
#4 Good Therapy, for self, and family - this is a given.
#5 - Planning, understanding employment, responsibilities, keeping a roof over your head, saving money for tought times.. etc. etc. etc.
#5 has been the hardest for me, understanding and accepting self, seems simple in comparison to planning, and knowing I have enough money behind me to complete transition and have money set aside in just in case - just in case I lose employment, etc.
I have found this to be emotionally driven. I don't want to end up on the streets because I have had to transition (and had it the right word, It's like it's not a choice - I have to do this for my sanity). Yet, also for my Sanity, I need to know that I have a roof over my head, and food on my table. It's a scary thought that I lose my employment because of doing something that is a have to.
So, some thought today.. thought I would share, and ask what your experiences have been?
Love you all, and I wish you all the best of luck in your transition.
I've also put alot of thought to the fact we need good strong women in the community to help raise awareness of Transgendered people, as just that People, Human beings. We need others to know that we are not to be feared, we are not unusual, we are humans just like them with fears, emotions, hopes, dreams, desires, etc.
I think Donna Rose is one excellent example of this - we need to promote strength in the community. Thank you Donna for raising awareness - you are a shining example to us all.
Huggss,
Michelle
For a good number of us Transition is the route we are taking. For some it is a slow journey, for others a journey that is much faster.
We recently had a thread about doubts, which thru these journey's we will all face doubt. For some, a degree of doubt, for others the doubt will turn us around, stop transition, and have us living in a gender role that we are not 100% comfortable with for the rest of our lives, simply because transition becomes too hard, we are too established, we have many responsibilities that stop us.
In looking at moving towards transition, I have reconinzed a few key critical areas to focus on, and I'm wondering what you have focused on in your transition.
#1 - Self acceptance
Accepting that I am Transgendered, and that in transition, that I will always be transgendered. When completed transition, I beleive that most will not know I am TG, but there will always be a few people that will have to know. So, in accepting, no matter what course we take, we will always be TG. In making the decision to transition, I have looked at balancing two factors: can I live the rest of my life - externally male, having the thoughts in my mind always, or do I move forward and transition, allign the thoughts and body, and be TG to some for the rest of my life? To me the answer is a simple one, it seems so clear now - as before it was cloudy.
#2 - Alignment of Body, Mind, Spirit. Acceptance of Sexuality, understanding my spirituality - reconciling what Religion says about men and women.
Ensuring that the entire mind body, and soul are in agreement with this journey. I have found that my mind desires changes, yet if I have not complelely have everything in alignment, then when changes start happening with hormones, I start questioning 'Am I ready for all of these changes?' - I'm not sure if we can always be 100% ready - I do believe that we need to align mind, body, and soul.
Additionally, I believe that we have to be completely open to our sexuality, and potential changes within our sexuality. Who are we attracted to? What are we, Gay, Bi, Hetrosexual? Simple being open to the entire spectrum allows us the freedom to express ourselves - and therefore we then don't have to beat ourselves up when we find us doing things that we thought at one time we would or could never do.
#3 - Supportive Friends and Family. Finding ways to express what is going on, and being able to explain to people what being transgendered means - even when they can not understand becuase they have never had such feelings of questiongs gender. I find that most people think gender as an absolut - that it is something they could never question.
I personally have found it much easier to explain myself to other women, I find women to be the most supportive - I have many great friends who are supportive of me - most seem to have drawn the conclusion that this is within me, and all they want is to see me happy.
On the other hand, I find it harder to explain it to men. I have a few male friends who are supportive. I find that they question, why on earth would you want to be a woman? I believe they look at it as going down the social latter, and can not see any benifit in doing so in becoming a woman. I've also had male friends who then show their male colors, and some how make this into a sexual discussion. They ask questions they would never directly ask another woman, or suggest things they would never be so direct with to an woman. It's like they then see you as a sexual object.
#4 Good Therapy, for self, and family - this is a given.
#5 - Planning, understanding employment, responsibilities, keeping a roof over your head, saving money for tought times.. etc. etc. etc.
#5 has been the hardest for me, understanding and accepting self, seems simple in comparison to planning, and knowing I have enough money behind me to complete transition and have money set aside in just in case - just in case I lose employment, etc.
I have found this to be emotionally driven. I don't want to end up on the streets because I have had to transition (and had it the right word, It's like it's not a choice - I have to do this for my sanity). Yet, also for my Sanity, I need to know that I have a roof over my head, and food on my table. It's a scary thought that I lose my employment because of doing something that is a have to.
So, some thought today.. thought I would share, and ask what your experiences have been?
Love you all, and I wish you all the best of luck in your transition.
I've also put alot of thought to the fact we need good strong women in the community to help raise awareness of Transgendered people, as just that People, Human beings. We need others to know that we are not to be feared, we are not unusual, we are humans just like them with fears, emotions, hopes, dreams, desires, etc.
I think Donna Rose is one excellent example of this - we need to promote strength in the community. Thank you Donna for raising awareness - you are a shining example to us all.
Huggss,
Michelle