What am I doing?

[DonnaKG]

I'm just curious how many other CD's are sitting in front of their computers, dressed to the nines, and wondering why. Prior to my wife passing the most wonderful thing I could imgine was spending the day dressed from the skin out in my girlie clothes. Back then the reason why was for the practice and for the pleasure of just knowing that I was wearing all I needed to look like a girl. Or at least feel like one.
Now that I live in a fairly secure environment, have more lingerie, dresses, shoes etc. than all the rest of the women in the neighborhood and can dress any time I want to something is missing. And here is a curious angle. My sister lives nearby and knows Donna. She acts the same whether I'm wearing jeans and boondockers or taffeta and lace. That leaves me fealing like something is missing but I don't know what.
Anybody else wandering down the same path? What do you do when your all dolled up with nowhere to go?

[Ruth]

I don't have your problem Donna, but I wonder if what you need is the society of other CDers - that is, join some kind of CD social group. I'm not talking about dating, or going to clubs, but simply social gatherings where you can be together.
For myself, I don't get out much as Ruth, but I don't have a problem with what to do. I just do regular stuff that I would have been doing anyway, except it's done as Ruth. It can include looking at this site, but also reading, watching TV, doing housework, catching up with bills, correspondence, etc.

[carol anne]

:heehee:Donna,
I was in the same situation as you a few years ago. The choice is either to continue and enjoy dressing or continue but not enjoy it any longer.
Continuing is certainly the more enjoyable direction so what you must do is to attempt to find other cds either her or other computer sites.Also check local areas for cd groups, Tri Ess or search for other cds in your area thru chat rooms.
It isn't easy but persist and you will find other cds near you. In the end you will have success.
Carol Anne

[mike47]

I can totally understand what you are saying. Here lately though my son has moved back in with me and has his kids every other weekend. Unfortunatly he is going through a divorce. My son and for the most part everyone I know don't know. Or at least I don't think so. Therefore my dressing up is rather limited right now. I can hardly wait though for when I can start doing it more often. I really do like the idea of finding other CDers in my area though. Something I plan on doing.

[Sallee]

Donna I think what I hear you saying is that she doesn't react to your dressing. Well you are you no matter what your whereing I remember when my wife came to that realization jeans and sneakers or mine skirt with heels your still you. But dressing is fun so get our get in a cd group have fun:2c:

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah it is more fun to have CD company. Gay clubs are a good start, but when talking to anyone, you pretty much have to scream in their ear to be heard over the music.

The thing about having CD friends is yeah it makes it more enjoyable, you feel like you are part of something. CD's don't ask stupid questions about why we look the way we do like the rest of the straight world tends to.

[Kate Simmons]

As most are saying, interaction with others works wonders my friend.:happy:

[charllote34]

I can understand where your coming from , you need to join some social groups and get out to met people like ourselfs. :hugs:

[Sally24]

You don't list where in the world you are but many places have support groups or social groups in the larger metro areas. I was already going out fairly often with my wife and didn't think I needed a social group. Went to one 16 months ago and now I go every month! It's really nice talking to people that know where you've been and how it is to be a CD. Lots of common ground but also everyone is a little different. And then there is safety in numbers when we go out to clubs. Do a little research and think about it. It could change your attitude.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

After getting all dolled up, I usually spend the day taking hundred's of pictures of myself, and me and the wife will engage in girl talk, cook dinner, clean, watch movies etc. I do at times wish to actually go outside, and interact with others at a CD friendly club or support group.

[Jamie14]

It is definitely frustrating to be dressed up, wanting to go do something and not really feeling like you have an outlet. Sometimes, I yearn for the early days when just being dressed up was exhilirating enough. These days, after several trips out, I want to go out all the time!! Not always possible. Family, etc.

I don't know what others do- I look for different CD sites or hit a CD chat site (watching out for the lulus) to find someone nice to talk to. I have been spending more and more time on this site reading posts and sending messages
to people trying to learn from other's experiences and find ways to enjoy my crossdressing more. Good luck! Get out there!!:happy:....Jamie

[RobertaFermina]

I have he gift of working days, and meeting for volunteer and personal growth (men's groups, etc) in the evenings, social events, fatherhood, grandfatherhood.

Most those limit my dressing opportunities.

So when I get to, its a big deal.

I haven't gotten to your place, even when I was unemployed.

Probably because I always dress and go out to hang out with others who dress or go out dressed by myself.

I echo what others have said..interaction with others helps. Even if they don't acknowledge the "difference." When I feel the difference, that is what matters to me.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[StacyCD]

Humans are social creatures so it is natural to want to be around others. Once we get over the idea that there is something 'wrong' with us and the feeling that we the only person like this is the world then we can meet the world and be a part of it rather than as just an observer. The people on this list have given me immeasurable confidence in myself to do things that a few years ago I didn't even dare dream of doing.

[Shelly67]

Donna , I too feel the same strange void sometimes, sitting here before my pc ...but for me it was answeared by joining a chat website . If you,d like to know more ( its a cheap site , payable by paypal , and huge - theres everything on there , from religion , to gardening , music to adult content , and a very good cd , tv , ts section with some lovely people too ) If youre interested drop me a pm ....it may make you feel a little easier .

[jenny logan]

At first I enjoyed the vicarious thrills of secretly dressing without anyone knowing about my alter ego. Like you it did get old after a while and I found myself going through cycles of not dressing followed by itense periods of dressing and going to gay and cd clubs. It was a real rollercoaster at times in terms of conflicted emotions, desires and wasted time. It certainly wasn't a mentally healthy way to live. Finally after 35 years of cding (22 of them married) I came out to my wife. It was very difficult but wound up being the best thing I ever did. She is totally accepting and no longer do I need to hide this secret from her. We have accepted Jennifer as an integral part of our relationship and occasionally go to cd friendly events and clubs when our schedules can accomodate it.

My advice to you is to accept what you are, deal with it in a healthy way and live. I found that dealing with it is the most difficult phase of the process. Whatever works for you in terms of frequency, level of dressing, and your risk level in terms of appearing in public is what is right for you. I don't go out often and when I do it is in a cd friendly setting. I enjoy spending time dressed with my wife doing mostly mundane things that married couples do at home- eat meals together, watch tv, putter around the house, etc. It works for us and as difficult as it was when she found out, the quality of our lives is much improved. I am a cd and not ashamed of this fact one iota.