Not dealing with aging very well

[LindaMarie]

I'm 54 and I'm having a difficult time being in my 50s. Part of it is probably the usual kind of mid-life crisis (ok, a little past mid-life crisis) - you realize you're getting older, you're not going to do all the things you thought you would, the sort of older person staring back in the mirror really is you.

I do think being a crossdresser makes getting older that much more difficult. While I was never really passable in my 20s, I was at least a slender, sort-of-cute-for-a-cd kind of crossdresser. And there were fun things you could wear, short skirts and high heels, long blond wigs.

Now, one of the great things about being a mostly closeted cd is that I can still wear short skirts and high heels, even if they wouldn't really be appropriate for a woman in her 50s. My not dressing my age is probably the least of the challenges I face in being a 54 year old crossdresser.

Still, the fantasy of being a cute girl was easier when I was in my 20s with fewer wrinkles, fewer pounds, more hair on my head and less growing out of places like my ears (who knew that would happen).

The sensible, healthy, mature thing to do is to appreciate the age, wisdom and experiences I've accumulated and accept and celebrate myself as I am. However, doing the sensible, healthy and mature thing is not something I've been terrifically successful at.

I've just made the mistake of rereading what I've written so far. What a mess. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say or ask but here goes:

Have you found getting older more difficult because you're a crossdresser? Why? Is it because our societal values are screwed up and men become "distinguished and handsome" as they age while women just get old and we get affected by that attitude? Is it a time running out kind of thing? Just as there are things I probably won't have time for in the rest of my life, there are cd things that are becoming more difficult as I get older. Is part of it that many crossdressers get stuck on a certain image of an idealized woman they try to emulate and that image is not typically a handsome but not beautiful, 60ish slighlty plump woman in a long skirt and sensible shoes? Could all these feelings be at least somewhat addressed by getting a cute new pair of pumps?

[windycissy]

Getting old sucks, but it beats the alternative...I actually have become much better at this over the years. Maybe because I have always admired women who dress in conservative clothes (think Talbots) I like to wear the same thing. I actually think my crossdressing is sort of a fountain of youth: it motivates me to keep slim, so I look good in a dress, and when I put on a wig it's like presto, I'm ten years younger!

[Sally24]

I occasionally worry about my aging face. Not having really dressed in my 20's and 30's I missed the possiblities of being the "cute young thing on the block". And I have a bit of phobia about permanent scars now too which as a guy I never really had (split my nose open 5 years ago on Halloween and never gave it a second thought). I guess I'm more along the lines of "I know I'm never going to look better than this" sort of thing. Of course it's all rubish! I've looked better ever year I've been dressing and don't expect that to end for a least a few more years. And a classic female face in their 40s 50's and even 60's have always appealed to me. Who doesn't think Sally Field still looks hot?!?!

I've also looked into skin care. My skin has never looked better now that I'm cleansing and moisturizing most every day. I've also had laser to remove some spider veins on my face. That process is like magic!! And I haven't even begun to explore the different laser and dermabrasion treatments that are available.

So however you deal with it, either physcologically or thru whatever it takes to look younger, you'll get thru.

[SherriePall]

Linda Marie -- Let me first say, quoting W.C. Fields who put this on his gravestone: "On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."
That aside, I find that CDing actually is helping me age more gracefully. Afterall, I think I look younger dressed (and have had that confirmed, without asking, by several GG SA's who have seen both my male and femme sides. When I dress, I have hair on my head. My male side has very little. When I dress my hair is a light brown. Guess what color (or is it a lack of color) my male side is saddled with?
Wearing makeup also aids in making me look more youthful than I really am.
So, that's my take on the subject.

[Scotty]

There are times when I use moisterizer and keep my face moist, feel good about myself that I feel 30.

I'm 43 now.

Last week an 18 year old girl was hmm, not flirting but being v ery coy around me....and when she asked how old I was and I told her she said "NO WAY!".

She thought I was somewhere 28-32.

Now on the reverse, there are times where I feel and LOOK my age...

It's in state of mind I believe, and while we can't hide the age factor you can play into it.

We're not getting any younger.

As for doing this all in our 20's, I believe wisdom from age comes into play - half of us didn't KNOW at the time what we were doing, or it was sexual, or for fun. We get older and realize who we are - have ya noticed that? Most of us are 40's and on up while there are 20's here that are braver than most of us probably were at the time...

And the advent of the internet, if I had this capability when I was in my 20's I would have LONG ago had SRS and gone the full route.....but who knew?

[Deanna2]

I find the easiest solution is that whilst I may be getting older I refuse to grow up.

[sissystephanie]

At age 75+, I am definitely qualified to answer the question here. WindyCissie put it very bluntly, but truthfully. Getting old is no fun, but the alternative really does suck!

But all it really means is that you do dress a little differently, and maybe wear lower heels! I have been blessed all my life with good skin, and I do take care of it, like a girl should! People who meet me never think I am 75, or even close. I do not try to pass, since I am terrible with makeup and my wig. (My late wife used to do that for me!)

But I do go out in public totally dressed enfemme, and just get smiles and the occasional comment, "nice outfit.":happy:

Aging is a natural occurance, You either do, or you die! Accept it and make the best of it. If you are 50, or over, don't try to look like a young woman! You are not one, so dress closer to your age. I don't mean you have to be "dowdy", there are plenty of nice things for mature women that don't "age" you. Talk to the SA's and have them help you pick out things that will accentuate your good points.

Be happy with who you are!!!:love:

Sissy/Stephanie

Sometimes a girl, but always a man underneath!

[insearchofme]

Since i've been dressing I take better care of my overall appearance. I use face moisturizer and eye cream and of course I "try" to watch my weight and I also workout like crazy! I've had younger people I work with seem amazed that I am as old as I say I am (they say I look 56 not 58 LOL). Some say I look younger than other guys my age.

I think my femme pics look younger than my age. So I guess I'm saying CDing makes me younger!

Oh, your age is a state of mind. If you don't mind it don't matter!

[susie evans]

you learn the value of each day and when we start getting older we realise that some times we did not go all the places we wanted or did all the things we wanted and that herts so now we have a choice to make ilve wih it and live each day to its fullest extent and enjoy life the way it was ment to be :hugs:

susie

[trannie T]

I do not think of myself as old, I'm only 60. I do realize that I'm not quite as young as I once was. There are certain activities that I no longer participate in but I believe that I'm having the best years of my life.
I enjoy crossdressing as I get older, the makeup conceals some of the wrinkles and the wig covers my few remaining grey hairs.

[Joy Carter]

I'm fifty eight, and I'm doing better than when I was twenty eight. :D

[Rita B]

First of all, be happy every day that you have your health. True there are many aspects of aging that we cannot completely control, but there are many things that we can do to help ourselves look younger and vibrant. I wear my silver hair proudly. OK so I can't wear the tight little mini skirts anymore, but there are a lot of very fashionable and flattering outfits that I can wear. One of the advantages of "dressing up" is that it usually take ten years away from our " appearance". We have to adjust and adapt and enjoy what it is we have.

[Nicki B]

Typically, with a wig & make up, you can look ten years younger? :strugglin

[Jodi]

Linda Marie -- Let me first say, quoting W.C. Fields who put this on his gravestone: "On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."
That aside, I find that CDing actually is helping me age more gracefully. Afterall, I think I look younger dressed (and have had that confirmed, without asking, by several GG SA's who have seen both my male and femme sides. When I dress, I have hair on my head. My male side has very little. When I dress my hair is a light brown. Guess what color (or is it a lack of color) my male side is saddled with?
Wearing makeup also aids in making me look more youthful than I really am.
So, that's my take on the subject.

Sherry, WC Fields hated Philadelphia. The epitaph on his tombstone actually reads "I'd rather be here than in Philadelphia".

Jodi

[Angie G]

At 69 my head is not where the p0roblems are hun :hugs:
Angie

[Michelle 51]

Well i,m 56 and i hear what your saying but to keep it short and simple go get the pumps dear and the rest will take care of itself justabit

[Jilmac]

Linda Marie, yes getting older does suck but for me it doesn't really make a whole lot of difference. I am 62 now, have been dressing since 15, never was passable, nor was I a cute young girl. I always considered myself somewhat of a plain jane. Like you I'm still in the closet for the most part and I can waer whatever suits my fancy.

the only real regret I have is all the lost time away from dressing from the many times I purged. Now at age 62, with my wife in heaven and me alone, I can make up for all that lost time. Don't worry about your age or what society expects of women as they age, just enjoy what you do, wear your mini skirts and sexy lingerie, and that girl looking back at you from the mirror will be just as young and cute as you want her to be.:hugs: Luv Jill

[Michelle (Oz)]

At 57 I only started dressing 1.5 years ago but would love sometimes to dress like a teen. I resist perhaps because of available sizes LOL

My take on the difference dressing makes is - I look 10 years younger and dress as a woman in her 40's, I am not a threat to anyone (male or female) and therefore it's easier to be out and about, I am far less worried what people think about me now than when I was younger, and I have a real interest in life.

Michelle (Oz)

[Stephenie S]

Hmmm. Well, I'm having the time of my life.

Older? Yup. But NOW, I'm doing it. Actually doing it. All my life I ached for this to happen. I finally reached the point where I realized that nothing was going to happen unless I MADE it happen.

Could this have happened 20 years ago? I doubt it.

I was a pretty flamboyant CDer in my thirties, but now I am a woman. Age, experience, and wisdom have all come together for me. While I still have plenty of problems, my life at last seems to be tipping in favor of genuine satisfaction.

I have become a woman of a "certain age", and I'm lovin' it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[docrobbysherry]

Personally, I am thrilled to be able to look as good as I do as a CD, my age not withstanding! I can get Sherry looking so young, and hot in her pics. And it's WAY BETTER than I can ever look as a man. And I'm a lot older than u.
Remember this, if we were born GG's, we probably wouldn't look as good as we do. GG's usually have big problems with their figures starting in their 40's. Female body fat content, means that your male arms and legs would NOT look near as good as they do, ( without a LOT of extra effort), if u were a natural GG.
So, count your blessings, dear Linda Marie, instead of cursing the things u can't change anyway! Tis the season to be jolly! Ho ho ho!
RS

[Nicole Erin]

For any age, one can look her best by dressing well. Age appropriate.

One thing that is probably good for older CD's - most of the beard hairs are grey and the 5:00 shadow is not as evident, if at all.

It is strange, cause I worry about 33 :o

Of course I am anything but petit and cute. I am BBW

[jennifer41356]

I am 51 but most everyone i tell that to , dont believe me and I have to show them my DI, so I look maybe 40 but I will wear knee length or just above the knee skirts out in public

I dont wear too revealing tops and I wear 1 inch heels maybe so I dont look 17..i still buy some things in the Jrs dept,

I am lucky my parents tend to look younger, so I inherited their genes...I also have had a real stressful life so maybe I have been lucky...I am having too much fun wearing cute clothes to really care...I still go clubbing with a friend every couple of weeks, so i wear my "hot" outfits then:D

[battybattybats]

My hair started turning grey at 8 LOL Though until a couple of years ago it was just cool streaks of grey.

I have a big problem with growing old, from the receding hairline onwards. Mostly it's just because of my chronic fatigue, being substantially disabled for so long has meant my life has only been half-lived so far and I'd rather like to have the time I've missed out on.

There may be hope yet, not just for me with some positive lines of research into CFS/ME but into aging itself.

They've Quintupled the lifespan of worms, they've trippled the lifespan of mice.. good chance they'll be able to extend human lives soon.

And a study into cancer has found that doubling up on a gene that causes defective cells to self-destruct hasn't just dramatically reduced cancer in animal subjects but actually stopped the degenerative aspects of aging!

It's all early days yet so possible treatments are a way off..
But being at the peak of health, fitness and beauty until I'm 200 or so? Sounds good to me!

[Kate Simmons]

Doing things that make you happy keeps a person young, despite their physical age. I've often been told I look a lot younger than I am as both a guy and girl. Who would argue with that? Not I for sure.:happy:

[carolinewalker_2000]

Whilst I am sure most of us "mature girls" would love to shed a few years - (and pounds!) - there are a couple of advantages to crossdressing as you get older:

1. I am more comfortable in my "feminine skin".
2. Vanity, and wanting to make the most of myself as a woman, has the side effect that I look after my male self better and hence tend to look a bit younger than my calendar years, even as a man.