On being pretty

[Maggie Kay]

Yesterday,the subject of being pretty came up in my therapy session. I said that if I was pretty I could pass more easily and that would make me happy, but since I am not it is a problem. He said "You don't think you are pretty?" I replied by shaking my head slowly side to side and finally said softly, "no". Then I remembered catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and seeing a pretty woman. I said, "Actually, that is not always the case. I do have times when I think I am pretty." It was at this point that I realized that he was telling me that he thought I was pretty. I left the session with a big smile.
This morning, I woke up in my bed in my pile of pillows and decorator duvet and I felt pretty. I had thoughts of this pretty woman cuddling up in her bed as dawn approached, feeling all warm and smooth. I could feel my shoulder length locks flowing down my night gown. It was as if for the first time, I could appreciate that the real me was an attractive, sensual and sexy woman. Then I had a vision where I saw myself outside wearing a high collar fur lined ski coat wearing sunglasses and letting my hair flow over the fur collar. Stunning.
I used to have huge self esteem issues about my looks as a man even though it was said that I was handsome. I could never see it. Then I became a transperson and I felt like a freak, ugly and repulsive to almost everyone. Wearing nice femme clothes and makeup had a hollow side to it as I felt it was decorating a troll with finery. Today, however, while I am not beautiful I realize that indeed I am pretty. I can now look for clothes and makeup to enhance my looks for a reason. I am worth it.

[Nicki B]

Beauty starts on the inside... :)

[SirTrey]

Beauty starts on the inside
Nicki is totally right...What the inner feels, the outer will always reflect...that's a big part of being trans...knowing that.:thumbup:


This morning, I woke up in my bed in my pile of pillows and decorator duvet and I felt pretty.
That is a beautiful thing....and I am happy for you....Thanks for sharing that with us....The people on this board most certainly can and do understand what it means to feel good about who you REALLY are....Hugs and flowers for a lovely lady....:hugs::love:

[Siobhan Marie]

Beauty starts on the inside... :)

Nicki, I couldn't agree with you more hun. I know I'm beautiful, I feel beautiful only the world can't see it.

:hugs: Siobhán x

[Mariah]

Good for you Maggie! Sounds like you and a wanderful season and a great morning!

*^_^*

keris

[melissaK]

I feel pretty, oh so pretty
I feel pretty, and witty and bright
And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight

I feel charming, oh so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real

See the pretty girl in that mirror there?
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!

I feel stunning and entrancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy . . .

[GypsyKaren]

I'll tell you something, Maggie, I will never be beautiful, but I sure do feel pretty all of the time, and to me that's better...I'm so happy for you!

Karen Starlene :star:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I'll tell you something, Maggie, I will never be beautiful, but I sure do feel pretty all of the time, and to me that's better...I'm so happy for you!

Karen Starlene :star:


Your personality, your words, and your avatar = pretty to me ;)

[Applelicious]

I couldn't agree more that it all starts within. True confidence (also found on the inside) is the sexiest attribute anybody can have, male and female.

[kerrianna]

I'll tell you something, Maggie, I will never be beautiful, but I sure do feel pretty all of the time, and to me that's better...I'm so happy for you!

Karen Starlene :star:

:slap: What ARE you talking about? :straightface:

You ARE beautiful! You exude beauty honey!

Cause Nicki and them are right...it's not what's on the outside that counts...it's the way you nuture beauty and love and let it out into the world. And you certainly do that pretty Ms Starlene! :hugs:


I've been reading a lot of books, at one of the places I clean, that are written for young girls on dealing with self esteem and issues of beauty, because one of the truths of being female in our culture is there is an ENORMOUS pressure to measure up physically.

I think maybe some of us should read books like that, because we need to hear that message too.

If you will walk through this world as a woman you will be bombarded with the message that you could be doing more to make yourself beautiful and pretty. It's an endless pursuit and you will never be good enough, there will always be someone prettier and there will always be some snake oil salesman with the secret formula to make you prettier.

But if you build your beauty and pretty pride from inside, you won't need to be always chasing that impossible ideal.

Some days, I either don't look in the mirror or I squint out of one eye and I look fine. And those bad days aren't usually because I look dreadful, but because I FEEL dreadful. When I FEEL happy and pretty, I LOOK happy and pretty. :happy:

[MinaB]

Maggie, it's absolutely wonderful to know that you have gotten to the point where you believe that you really are a pretty woman. Your description of yourself curled up in your bed sounded absolutely lovely and I'm so happy you could have such an experience. Keep being the beautiful you you are!

[MJ]

[QUOTE=GypsyKaren;1119043]I'll tell you something, Maggie, I will never be beautiful, but I sure do feel pretty all of the time, and to me that's better...I'm so happy for you!

Karen Starlene :star:

i feel the same as karen .. it does start on the in side :love:

[androgyne]

While being beautiful on the inside is important, equally important is being passable, at least for me, since I'm completely out. It's a dangerous world out there, so being pretty and passable is something that's always on the back of my mind.

[kerrianna]

While being beautiful on the inside is important, equally important is being passable, at least for me, since I'm completely out. It's a dangerous world out there, so being pretty and passable is something that's always on the back of my mind.

Yeah, but being passable is different than being pretty or beautiful.

Not every woman out there attains the beauty demands of the society. But they are no less women for it. Why should we be any different?

Obviously passing is important.

Passing as Drew Barrymore isn't. :p

[AmberTG]

Kerrianna, I'll agree with that!
I'd rather be passable as an ugly woman then a "man in a dress" any day! Of course, that's just me!

[surabhi singh]

its inner consciousness counts most rather than outer ones

[Mean Green Irene]

its inner consciousness counts most rather than outer ones

I fully agree. This particulary applies to passing. If you feel good about yourself and feel that you are pretty than you will be. What anybody else thinks does not matter.

When I look into a mirror I see a man in a wig and dress. BUT when I smile I see a pretty woman.

Besides it's fun to smile.

[androgyne]

I'd rather be passable as an ugly woman then a "man in a dress" any day! Of course, that's just me!

I would much rather be passable as a pretty woman than as an "ugly woman" or a "man in a dress" :)

Happy New Year!

[kerrianna]

I would much rather be passable as a pretty woman than as an "ugly woman" or a "man in a dress" :)


Well, who wouldn't?

Unfortunately, not all of us are so lucky.

Most of us do the best we can with what we've been given, like many natal females.

The tyranny of beauty claims many victims.

[Sejd]

Hi Maggie Kay
Yes, you have it all down already. You are ofcourse beautiful on the inside, and once you connect with that beauty, you are also pretty on the outside.
All we have to do as TS, TG - or whatever box we fit into, is to hold our head high, enjoy and celebrate our uniqueness, our special gift to the world and pray that we don't get killed in the process. (joke and not - at the same time). We have to learn when it is safe to be "Us". and when it is not. Everyone who comes fully to terms with their inner sexuality, eventually shines.
Thanks for bringing up that post.
hugs :hugs:
Sejd

[androgyne]

All we have to do as TS, TG - or whatever box we fit into, is to hold our head high, enjoy and celebrate our uniqueness, our special gift to the world and pray that we don't get killed in the process.
Now, ain't that the truth!

[Scotty]

Well said post - kind of gave me some pause for thought too!!

I don't find myself attractive as a guy, and not always en femme either but when i look in a mirror I like who I see.....

[Mariah]

I was told once that I was a vary pretty Lady..... then he said Sorry didn't know you were a guy! (as I was walking in the mens room *^_^*) I just laffed. put your best smile on and the world is yours.

keris

[mike47]

I fully understand what you are saying. Sometimes I look at myself and feel good and other times not. So I am happy that you know that you are pretty. I hope that feeling becomes you everyday.

[MJ]

Hi Maggie Kay
Yes, you have it all down already. You are ofcourse beautiful on the inside, and once you connect with that beauty, you are also pretty on the outside.

All we have to do as TS, TG - or whatever box we fit into, is to hold our head high, enjoy and celebrate our uniqueness, our special gift to the world and pray that we don't get killed in the process. (joke and not - at the same time). We have to learn when it is safe to be "Us". and when it is not. Everyone who comes fully to terms with their inner sexuality, eventually shines.
Thanks for bringing up that post.
hugs :hugs:
Sejd

so very very true ..