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View Full Version : Welcome to FtM 101...Surviving as FtM TS...The road to transition and thereafter



Kieron Andrew
12-12-2007, 06:06 AM
(Posted with the blessing of GypsyKaren)

Ok i thought i'd post a little insight into what boys have to deal with to transition here in the UK, PLEASE remember i am speaking for myself and the things i will have to go through to be recognised as the man i am, and i have no clue of the route to transition in USA as it may be different, so im hoping other boys will help educate the masses too

As some of you are aware, I live full time as Kieron and have done for a while now, I am a disabled person who uses a wheelchair 24/7 (but that has little or no bearing on this thread), I wake up every day, I bind my chest which is big by a genetic females standards (40F), , and I get sores from sweating and binding tight to try create a male looking chest binding rarely works for me, and is the one thing that stops me passing as a man, its a chore to do but i do it to create as much of an illusion as possible....I pack every day, which means I use a prosectic penis in my boxers to give the impression I have a real one....I have constant battles with getting people to see me as male and to use the correct pronoun and give me the respect I deserve and not treat me as some kind of joke like im playing at being a man!!, no just here but in the real world too, they see the chest and 'assume' im female, I am NOT!......there is no make up to change a face that is assumed female to male, sure we could create stubble, but do any of you realise the hassle that is to go through EVERYDAY lol, and thats ever before thinking of stepping out the door, ever before what I will have to go through surgery wise to be accepted into the world as the man I am....

Yes sure, there is testosterone and we all know that its a pretty lethal hormone whereby the changes are pretty quick in comparison to MtF, but with my pre-existing disability as of now I am unsure i will be able to ever take it (again another story for another time)....

Most of the world now have had an insight to what goes on with MtF surgery, they create a Neo-Vagina from the penis and give breast implants to those who chose it....let me tell you that is a walk in the park compared to what us FtMs will have to go through, and no im not discounting it because EVERYONES transition is as important as the next...

For chest surgery alone I am looking at, at least 2 maybe 3 or more surgeries to create a male chest because I am so large and thats not accounting for anything that could go wrong and need revising....

For the creation of a phallus (penis), an FtM in this country will have to endure at least 5!...yes 5 surgeries from start to finish to create a penis from either a radial forearm techique or from the abdomenal area....and let me tell you the scaring to those areas can be unbelieveable and life long AND very visable...again this is not accounting for anything that may go wrong or need correcting, and even after all of this the penis created never looks as good as the real Mccoy or works totally in a way a real penis does! the results for FtM bottom surgery are still set back in the dark ages in comparison to the MtF surgeries and need a serious kick into the 21st century!

So after all said and done with Testosterone it could be a number of years and a hell of a lot of surgeries before we get the body we desire to be able to live a happy and as sane life as possible, those transitioning or feeling the need to do so will know what it is like mentally and emotionally to wake up everyday feeling like your body is alien to you! even then ive heard of boys being told they will NEVER be accepted as men and into the man's world... because they started a 'women'.....we have it easy?, walk in the park?.... chance would be a fine thing!

GypsyKaren
12-12-2007, 07:59 AM
Thank you much Kieron, I sincerely hope that those who read this will take it to heart. I remember the first time I met a transman, it really opened my heart and touched me in a way that I'll never forget. People always tell me how I had courage to do what I've done, well, you're the one with a courage that I can only dream of reaching, and I think the rest of the guys know that I feel the same way about them too.

Karen Starlene :star: :hugs:

SirTrey
12-12-2007, 08:05 AM
Thanks for such an honest and open post, Kieron....I think more of us guys should post some things about our life and the challenges and negativity we face as ftm's so that people will see how it is from our side....it's probably easy to think the grass is greener on the other side if you don't really see the reality of it...As guys, we tend to air our stuff in the more private areas of the board and maybe sometimes that's a mistake....Maybe we should share more of our struggles with our sisters here so that they can see what life is on a daily basis and the things that WE experience....I hope some of the guys will do that here...I will, too...I would love to see a new spirit of love, support, and acceptance spring up on the board....Maybe it will happen....**Trey**

Siobhan Marie
12-12-2007, 10:37 AM
Kieron, thank you so much for posting that and a huge thank you to Karen for allowing him to do so.

I truly had no idea what you guys go through to be who you are inside. You are all so so brave and I love you all to bits :love:

:hugs: Siobhán x

Kieron Andrew
12-12-2007, 10:57 AM
Kieron, thank you so much for posting that and a huge thank you to Karen for allowing him to do so.

I truly had no idea what you guys go through to be who you are inside. You are all so so brave and I love you all to bits :love:

:hugs: Siobhán x

I truly dont think its a matter of being brave, we all do what we have to do to survive......i just think there are alot of people that dont realise what transitioning means for us boys as much as they do for the girls, your response proved as much, so im glad if i only educate one person then my goal was acheived because in turn you will educate others, even if your not aware of doing so, just by you saying 'dont discount our transition' it will educate others into seeking why?

CaptLex
12-12-2007, 11:03 AM
i just think there are alot of people that dont realise what transitioning means for us boys as much as they do for the girls
And some people still think transmen are an urban myth. :p Others know we exist but aren't the least bit interested in knowing anything about us - their loss. Thanks for openly sharing your story with us, K. :hugs:

Kieron Andrew
12-12-2007, 11:06 AM
Thanks for openly sharing your story with us, K. :hugs:
I like to think of this as everyone's story Lex this isnt just a reality for me, its a reality for thousands of Transmen

CaptLex
12-12-2007, 11:09 AM
I like to think of this as everyone's story Lex this isnt just a reality for me, its a reality for thousands of Transmen
Yes, but you added your own personal details to it, and now I know a little bit more about you. My own personal details would be a bit different, but it's basically the same story - and something we should all be able to relate to.

Sandra
12-12-2007, 12:55 PM
You know Kieron before I met you on another forum I never knew that there was ftms, but since coming here and reading your and the other guys posts I have learnt a lot. I never realised that there was so many operations I just thought it was like mtf surgery basically one op.
I hope what you've writen makes people just think even if it's onlyfor a minute about what you guys go through.

:hugs:

Dania
12-14-2007, 12:44 AM
I had read about the surgeries, but I'd always assumed you were a bit more lucky then us MTFs because hormones created so much of a visible change in a short amount of time. I hadn't thought about how much effect the binding can have. as well as the social struggles you go through. I used to sort of have a feeling that transition was somehow easier, but when you spend your life wishing for a certain set of body parts you don't think about minimizing them all of that often...

I sure don't think that way anymore. It isn't a matter of respect, I don't think, but it's very easy to lose perspective sometimes.

Thanks for the post guys, it takes a real man to go through that. :)

Perspective. We all need more of it.

kerrianna
12-14-2007, 03:35 AM
:hugs: :love: :kissing:


................... :daydreaming:






:eek: CAROL!!! :heehee:

Kieron Andrew
12-14-2007, 03:36 AM
:eek: CAROL!!! :heehee:

Nah! :hugs: :kissing:

Siobhan Marie
12-15-2007, 05:59 PM
I truly dont think its a matter of being brave, we all do what we have to do to survive......i just think there are alot of people that dont realise what transitioning means for us boys as much as they do for the girls, your response proved as much, so im glad if i only educate one person then my goal was acheived because in turn you will educate others, even if your not aware of doing so, just by you saying 'dont discount our transition' it will educate others into seeking why?

Kieron, don't get me wrong, I know we all have to do what we have to do to survive. But I truly didn't realise what you boys have to go through to be who you are and to go through all of that does make you brave in my eyes and don't you dare think any differently. I do admire you, as a person and more importantly as my friend, one who hopefully one day I can give him the big :hugs: I've got saved for him. And for educating people I will certainly do all that I can, you boys will not be pushed to one side like you don't count, you do, all of you.

You all matter, you do. The fact that you are discounted and that your transitions are discounted and that you are pushed into a corner saddens and upsets me more than I can say to the point where I daren't reply to what is said because I know I'll get into trouble with the powers that be on here.

Like I said, I will do all that I can to try and educate, I promise you all here and now.

:love: and :hugs: Siobhán x

ZenFrost
12-15-2007, 08:02 PM
If I may add a little to this...

Binding is painful, it hurts to wear a binder. I'm relatively small chested but wearing something for a long period of time that's designed to squish my chest flat hurts, a lot.

MtF hormones can grow breasts very well, FtM hormones can't take them away. We must have surgery if we want to get rid of our breasts, and often, more than one surgery. And it always leaves very visible scars whereas the MtF top surgery (on the occasions when it's needed) tends to leave minor scars at most.

Testosterone comes with great risks, including decreased life expectancy, and for its best effectiveness has to be administered via intramuscular (read: long needle) shots every week or two and causes a lot of pain at the injection site for days though that decreases over time. It can come as a gel or patch but it's far more expensive and often does not work as well (skin rashes prevent it, keeping hormone levels level is harder).

As for the bottom surgeries... first comes a hysterectomy. There's a number of reasons to get this done even if no other surgeries will occur. All in all, that part's not too bad. But next comes many, many more surgeries (all very expensive and painful with long recovery times) and the end result will not look right, not work right, and will leave extensive scars on several areas of the body (forearms, thighs, etc.) Many of us choose to just live with the wrong genitalia because of all the trouble to go through to get sub-par results.

I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining and I agree that medical advances have made end results very good, but so many seem to think it's just a walk in the park and that we don't go through nearly as many struggles as MtFs do, and I just really don't think that's true.