Wrong Address

[Kelsy]

I got a call yesterday from my daughter. " Hi Dad I just got a package that was delivered to the house (my Exs house where she lives with her new husband and my grandson and my X) I opened it and there was make-up and stuff inside" My daughter doens't know about Kelsy and the delivery was suppose to go to my mail box:eek: USPS but the things went UPS and was delivered to my old address. I told her I would pick it up. I was scared to death but decided that I would face the music. I arrived and exchanged small talk played with my Grandson and asked where my box was. I said my goodbyes and left. The whole time my daughter had this very worried look on her face but didn't ask any questions and I offered no explanations. the boxed contained bronzing powder, make up remover and three bottles of Black Kohosh and herbal estrogen suppliment. All hard to explain away as stocking stuffers. I am not sure what the ramifications will be. Worried:(


Kelsy:o

[Kieron Andrew]

you should have been open and honest there and then when you had the chance, she'll be worrying all over christmas now as to what is going on

[Kelsy]

you should have been open and honest there and then when you had the chance, she'll be worrying all over christmas now as to what is going on


Thanks Kieron,

I Whimped out! and I didn't want to lay my stuff on her either. my boys will be here for Xmas home from the Navy. Trying to avoid a mess but may not be possible! Do you think The closet door is cracked open?

Kelsy:happy:

[Kieron Andrew]

Do you think The closet door is cracked open?

id say its either wide open or she suspects another woman involved? either way you should talk to her

[Denielleinheels]

The hard part is explaing that the other woman is you. My son finaly saw me dressed on myspace. Where I posted my holloween picture from this year which is now my picture here. They knew of my gender issues but there was never any real "proof". Strangely enough, there has been nothing bad said. I wish you luck on this one.

[Kelsy]

Thanks Denielle,

I'm scared to death but hopeful! Time will tell where this all goes

Kelsy:hugs:

[Sandra]

No matter how hard it would have been you should have come clean, you daughter wil be having all sorts of things going through her head at the moment and possibly no one to talk to.

[il.dso]

Good luck with this one. I cannot offer advice since I'm deeply closeted myself, terrified of being caught. I can only offer you my best wishes and support through this website.

[Lora Olivia]

Wondering why she would open a package addressed to you but I do think you should havea chat with her before your holiday's, she has to be wondering and the best way is an open convo with her

:hugs:

good luck

[MarciManseau]

Does your ex know? If she does, I'd ask her advice about telling your daughter. I'd hate to see your holidays ruined.

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Yes I would tell her especially if your ex already knows. What she saw was too many questions to handle and you can come clean with her and control the outcome better than if she has to keep searching in the dark for the answers.
Best of luck!

[Vieja]

Coming clean and being honest is not always the best thing to do. I am sure that many a marriage or relationship has gone down the tubes after a soul baring episode. I treasure my marriage and I know telling all would have an adverse effect on it. So I keep quiet and live my secret life in the small way that I can. It isn't such a difficult thing for me to do.

If no one has figured it out and you don't think it would be well received then it may be best not to come out.

I am sure that was no help at all.

Vieja

[Kelsy]

Wondering why she would open a package addressed to you but I do think you should havea chat with her before your holiday's, she has to be wondering and the best way is an open convo with her

:hugs:

good luck


I was wondering why she opened it when it was clearly marked for me. Her curiosity I suppose. I think I want to wait and see if see approaches the subject. The holidays could possible be strange either way!


Does your ex know? If she does, I'd ask her advice about telling your daughter. I'd hate to see your holidays ruined.

Hugs, Marci :hugs:

My Ex never knew the real me unfortunately. My boys will with out a doubt have a real problem with it and where I live once the word gets out I might as well pack it up and get out, this is an unforgiving place with issues like this. I just want to keep a lid on it if possible. I want to be honest but the price might be more than I can take:(

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Kelsy

You dont say how old your daughter is and how she might handle the situation ?

Her age may have anm influence oh how or when you tell her

[Kelsy]

Hi Kelsy

You dont say how old your daughter is and how she might handle the situation ?

Her age may have anm influence oh how or when you tell her

Hi Shelly,

My daughter is 26 years old and has a little boy my Grandson. She lives in the same house as my Ex but if she did live in her own place I would consider talking to her about myself. I don't think any of this is my ex's buisness.

Thanks :hugs:Kelsy

[Genifer Teal]

This is how rumors get started. The only way to stop a rumor is to supply the facts. Sorry if that is not what you want to hear. She already opened pandora's box. Now she has to accept the consequences of knowing what's inside.

Gen

[Sinthia]

Kelsey . . . You have recieved a lot of good responses on this situation, and they almost all say 'Truth and Honesty'. But your point about the holidays is also valid. So shortly after the first, perhaps you can call your daughter and tell her that you would like to talk to her. Try going to a neutral spot, like a park, a quiet coffee house, etc. and have a father-daughter talk, explaining about yourself, and your hobby. If she takes it negatively, let her know that you will not broach the subject again with her, but if she takes it positive, you might have a new girlfriend to be with.

[Mitzi]

You need to consider what your daughter is going through. She may be afraid you're planning on a sex change, given the estrogen, and apart from what she may feel, she is undoubtedly worried what others will think.

As long as you plan to remain in the closet with your dressing, she may not like it, but would be more than relieved to keep your secret, based on your description of the community where you live.

My :2c: worth

Mitzi

[Holly]

Kelsey, which do you think gives you the best chance... telling your daughter the truth, putting her mind at ease, and attempting to exercise some control over the situation, or letting her and your ex speculate and their imaginations run wild? I know what I would choose.

[Kelsy]

thank you all for your advice, concern and your responses,

I am supposed to have dinner with my children on the 28th of Dec. I think I iwill be able to sense any tention relating to this situation. If need be I will arange a meeting with my daughter. I want to feel proud of who I am and who I am becoming and I want my kids to be proud of me. As for now I am having difficulty seeing how this will be. I am thankful for all of the support I get from you all

Love Kelsy:hugs:

[Sally2005]

Well, why mess up the holidays? If you want to tell her, tell her sometime that is more private and less stressful. If she asks, just say it was the wrong order and you returned it. Otherwise, I would doubt she would ask or even really think much about it other than it was odd.

[Angie G]

I think thing will be OK hun
Angie

[suzannecarr]

girl, the closet probably is open wide, but, one thing about it, alot of people (especially genetic girls) dont understand what it is like to come clean, its not that easy ,so take your time, honesty is the best policy, but, be careful and make sure it is the right time , place, and situation! i do soooo have a problem with people automatically saying you should have done this, or that , are you perfect(to those who say these things) have you handled every situation perfectly in your life, especially touchy ones like this, and another thing , ggs, we are like this for a reason, love it, or leave it, i have a real problem with people who automatically think of everyone but the person who wrote this, if she didnt care then she wouldnt have written it! children do have a right to know these things to a certain extent, but, i sympathize with the cd because i know what ive personally been through guilt, depression, you name it, and its not exactly easy being this way, courage shows its way in many forms, going out in public is a biggie, i mean even though sometimes i wish i didnt have them , evidently i do have big stones to do some of the things i do! again, you decide what is right for you , it seems to me that alot of us girls(mtf cds) have been trying to please everyone else except ourselves for so long, do whats right for the big picture, love is a pretty strong thing, and it seems to me you have it for your child, im sure she does for you too!, one thing i ve learned with my life is that sometimes people dont want to hear everything, they just think or say they do!! suzanne btw good luck!

[Colleentg]

I think many of us have had that fear in one way or another. When I was married, I had a separate PO Box for stuff I ordered and wouldn't give any other address for orders. I've lived alone for over 11 yrs now, and in many different places, so that worry is about gone. However, I'm sure in previous places, they're still sending out catalogs to my name. (ie., FOH, VC, LB, etc.)

Like others I would suggest you get your daughter alone and explain it to her, hopefully you have a relationship with her that she'll understand instead of freak out. I think if you wait too long, she'll be asking you, and in the wrong place and time.

[Glenda]

You don't have to talk with your daughter about it unless she wants you to. She could have thrown the package away and never said a word about it. If you want to share your femme identity with her then this is a good chance. If you choose not to, then just let it be. Children sometimes don't want to know everything about their parents. But, if she asks, please be truthful. You have to be able to trust your children. You raised her didn't you?

As far as Christmas goes.........well, it is not about you. It is about Christ and the children. Expect to have a great time and relish the moment. A daughter's love will not be lost just because Dad has a sensitive side.

Oh, and the closet door.........it just fell off the hinges.

[charllote34]

i agree with Kieron you do have to be honest now her minds going to be working overtime wondering whats going on , but its easier said than done eh?

[Sam-antha]

As has been said, she did open that parcel... now be open with her and tell her, (by herself preferably).
Do this before your ex gets into the act, with possibly bad vibes for you. Those of course, depending on her attitude

: 1 : to you
: 2 : the cd-ing scenario which she may or may not know about, and of course : : 3 :her possible reaction of "and I never knew"

I realise that it is not your ex's business but by now she may have been involved by your daughter, without your knowledge. Which could make for troubles. Get it out with daughter and over with. She should be resilient and understanding at her age.
I hope this thing does not snowball over or through Christmas. Tough but there you are with our sympathy

[jaina]

If she can't be trusted to not go through your mail, doesn't live with you, do you really think she deserves any explanation? I'd have shown up to get my box dressed.

[Sally24]

You might be surprised by the responses of any/all of your children. Frequently the worst part is the worrying. And that is on both sides. They worry about what is going on with you. You worry about how they will react, what will they feel about "it" all. No matter what you do, at least try not to stress-out over the future. Either do something now, or put it on the back burner and don't worry about it.

Good luck! (been there done that)