How many knew?

[Lanore]

I have a simple question for all of those who have a significant other. How many knew they had female/male feelings or the desire to dress in womens/mens cloths before they got invoved in their relationship? For me, I was born more female than male and have never had any real problems with any relationship I was involved in. It was obvious I was different and I wasn't going to change.

Lanore

[RachelDenise]

I knew and it always seem to end relationships, including my very first very serious one. That probably hurt the most given it was the first rejection because of who I am.

[christina marie]

i have always known i was different, never really came to terms with it till coming here,finding you girls. current relationship is the first one where it is a problem,which blew me away,because my wife is very accepting and understanding of others "alternative lifestyles". guess its easier to be understanding when its not going on in your own house.:(

[Eugenie]

I knew long before I had my first girlfriend. I never told any fo my dates that I had a secret "femme" life...

I finaly told my wife about two years after we got married. She didn't mind as she thought it was simply some kind of sexual fetishism. She only realized later on that it was more than that and then she hated it...

Lately there has been some progress in her acceptance. She is still annoyed by the fact that I have a hairless cheast, and even more so by my breasts that has grown after I gained weight and then lost some of it but not in that area...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Janice Ashton]

Two marriages and three relationships all lost to Cross Dressing, Finally I have come to terms with the fact I am a Transvestite / Cross Dresser which ever you prefer to be called and for the first time in my life having accepted it and come out to most of my friends and living alone doing what I enjoy the most , "being Louise"!!.

I knew many years ago what I was and lived a lie through relationships which created a lot stress not being able to do what I wanted too, but now life is so much better and the stress is so much less but it has to a single life for me..

Being honest with yourself is the first step to being happy as a transgendered person. :happy:

[Dawn Marie]

I knew and it cost me two marriages when they found out, but this is who I am and as much as I want to change, I can not.

[Claudia Zylindrias]

I had issues with only 2 of my relationships and my first and to date only marriage. Funny thing is was that i was upfront and honest withh everyone i was with from the age of 17 up. Every single one of them said that it was fine several even enjoyed it allot (or at least my cooking). The ones that had issues with it also had alot of self confidence issues and were dishonest in allot of what they told me about themselves.

The good thing is that, of the ones that i went on two or more dates which is when i told most if they didn't alrady now or suspected. The ones that accepted it but didn't want to date somebody like that and were honest and direct about it. We are still friends. Neat how honesty is still a pretty good policy.

[Amy Hepker]

I told my first wife sometime after we got married, Not a Good Idea, married 4 Years. I told my second wife long before we got married, but after we were involved, marriage lasted 16 Years, she was unfaithful. My Latest Lady I am living with, I told the very first date that I was a crossdresser. I have been with her for 6 Years now, but they were not all easy times as she felt like I wanted more and more dressing, well Ya!!! I feel as though I have let all these ladies and a bunch I knew before my first marriage down, by letting them think I was male, when in all actuality I am more Female in mind than male. I have the body of a male, but mind of a female. I had been crossdressing as a male all these years, always afraid of what people would say or do.

[SweetCaroline]

I knew since I was five years old, yet at the same time, have never really been involved in any serious relationship. Yet almost no one has ever thought of me as being gay or homosexual. I guess I'm just so good at being me it doesn't mater.

I have a lady friend, sort of SO right now who knows that I'm a cross-dresser, and who not only approves, but has interacted with me and some of my friends while I was dressed and LOVES us. My biggest concern right now is that she'll start seeing me less as a man and a boyfriend, but more as a "girlfriend". Right now, I'm just letting the relationship grow where it grows. Both of us are in similar positions, and no matter what, I think we'll always be friends. :hugs:

[Angie G]

I only had a few girlfriend before my wife who has known for less then 3 years and is the only one who knows or has ever known :hugs:
Angie

[ColleenCD]

My wife knew since the beginning of our marraige. She has allowed me to dress in our bedroom, but has not allowed me to wander outside and will not participate. It is frustrating to her I know, but she tolerates me. I love her.

Colleen

[EDNA]

I always knew. That I was not like other Boys. Then at the age of Eight and I started dressig as a Girl and as I got older. I was sure that I was a Girl in a Boy's body. Also I enjoyed being a Model. When my mother was making dresses for the Girls in town. [For what ever was the reason thier wanted.]

One funny thing about being a Model and what the Girls did not know. Was that I wore the dresses. Before they did.

[Krystenw]

Hey, My wife knew all about my "secret" a long time before we got married. She didn't care for the idea of having a secret side of life so she tricked me into going to a beauty shop and having my hair permed and my nails done and then having dinner with my Mother-in-law and her three sisters-in-law.
I think that was the best thing she ever did for me.
Over the last year or so I have been living pretty much fulltime as a woman. In fact my wife, my mother-in-law and I are taking a Hawaiian cruise next spring and we are all looking foreward to having several "Ladies nights out" while we are there.
With all the security I'm flying in guy mode, but once we get on the ship, that will be put away.
But, I digress, If you can't be honest with your SO before a relationship how do you expect them to react after they have found you have lied to them.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I'm one of those, Lenore.

I'm on my 3rd marriage (goin on almost 5 years now, YAY!). I didn't start this until well into my 2nd marriage which later fell apart for other reasons not CD related).
When I met someone new, I laid out my cards on the table, emptied out my cemetery of a closet and said... "This is who I am, This is what I have to offer... take it or leave it". All of this before we started even dating.
I'm much happier for it, and my spouse is an amazing SO who helps me out in all aspects of my CDing.

I could not ask for better.

Zara

[Billijo49504]

My first wife knew, till the day she died. And my second knew before we were a couple. She was my baby sitter at first. She wondered who's panties those were, they were too small for my girls. I said they are mine. Never a problem, as I sit here in the dining room wearing a skirt she got me...BJ

[Kelly Greene]

My wife of 8 years has known form the time we started dateing. I told her because I knew I could not hide my feminine from anyone who was going to be part of my life.

[Sonia_cd]

I've known for the longest time and yet I got into a realtionship that would hvae been disastrous to my dressing as also my peace of mind. Thankfully the relationship fell apart (not for reasons of my being a CD which she didn't know), so that was quite a relief for me.

Moral of the story: Do not get into a relationship with a woman simply because she has a fantastic wardrobe :D:2c:

Sonia

[Joann0830]

I was born more female than male and have never had any real problems with any relationship I was involved in. It was obvious I was different and I wasn't going to change.

Since I was 5 or 6 and wont stop doing it, My Spouse who passed knew about it and trying to find another that will understand (not accept me)
as I am 59 and I just want someone to understand the real me. Joann0830:heehee::happy:

[Vicky_Scot]

I may be speaking out of turn buit to answer your question


I have a simple question for all of those who have a significant other. How many knew they had female/male feelings or the desire to dress in womens/mens cloths before they got invoved in their relationship?

I think 99.9% of us knew that we were crossdressers long before we were involved in any type of relationship.

[janet p]

I knew I liked womans clothes at about 10 but was put down for it,so I hid it until I met my first wife and told her before we got married but she never took me seriously and didn't want anything to do with it. Second wife knew before we got married and helped but we split for other reasons.:love:

[DAVIDA]

Hi Lanore!
I am just a little confused. (not uncommon)
Are you asking if we knew if we were Cds before we got into a relationship or if our wives knew if we were CDs before we married?
In the event of the first one, I have known since I was around 5.
In the second case, I knew my wife since 1981, when we first dated. She did not know then. We got back together in 1990. The night I asked her to marry me(she had stated earlier that she would never get married again) and she said yes, I told her. I never said anything to anyone about it before. I just could not go into a marrage without her knowing and having the chance to say no. I had always told her and every girl that I dated before "If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask." I have never been big on lying. It is easier to keep up with the truth.
Our anniversary is this comming Saturday. So it looks like she is going to keep me around for a while! Marrage is difficult to say the least, but secrets can put a big burden on something that is already chalenging.

[Rachel_CDS]

I have been dressing for over 25 years. When I became involved with the woman who would become my wife, I knew that I would have to tell her about my crossdressing. I was terrified of losing her, but I thought I knew her very well & that she would be understanding. It turns out I was right & this wonderful lady has been married to me for over 18 years now & is very supportive of my feminine desires. If you want to have a happy & fulfilling relationship you must tell her everything about you, even at the risk of losing her.

[StacyCD]

I didn't tell before marriage, then I didn't tell after marriage, then I didn't tell because I didn't tell earlier. It took 30 years before I was able to tell. There is still a lot of work to be done but telling was the right thing to do--I only wish I had told earlier. Perhaps if I had found this group earlier I would have! Thanks to everyone for "being there."

[charlie]

I have a simple question for all of those who have a significant other. How many knew they had female/male feelings or the desire to dress in womens/mens cloths before they got invoved in their relationship? For me, I was born more female than male and have never had any real problems with any relationship I was involved in. It was obvious I was different and I wasn't going to change.

Lanore
Lanore,
I went for twenty years without ever needing to dress until this year. Now I'm just like everyone else.....buying clothes, eagerly awaiting for them to come and wearing them whenever possible. Dressing and examining makeup is a way of life now. I have been married for 10 years now. However, my wife would not approve and it probably would destroy our marriage.

[Nicki B]

Lanore, perhaps you should put a poll on this thread - go up to the 'Thread Tools' dropdown at the top of the page?

For myself, I guess I hid things from myself throughout my childhood, steadily burying my needs deeper and deeper - marriage and 17 yrs in the Army didn't however stop those feelings from finally breaking through, in my late 30s - and the nature of my dressing and my willingness to accept my femme side have developed further, since then.

I certainly didn't go into my marriage knowing that I was hiding something that would become so important - but we were both very young when we first got together?

[sandra-leigh]

I have a simple question for all of those who have a significant other. How many knew they had female/male feelings or the desire to dress in womens/mens cloths before they got invoved in their relationship?

I had no idea that I was a crossdresser for the first decade of my current relationship.

[serinalynn]

I can tell you that when my wife and I got Married she never bargained for the crossdresser in me that I was to become. My wife has been very tollerant of my dressing and has begrudgingly accepted it. She even tells me I have more womens clothing than she has. In 2002 I went shopping with her when she introduced me to The Lane Bryant stores and now I am hooked on crossdressing. My wife tells me I have more womens clothing than she has. I suppose in things like tops pants bras and panties, however when it comes tto dresses, skirts, and shoes she has more than I do.

[happy sam]

i started to get these feeling when i had just met my future wife but did not tell her for about 13 years

[Keelin30]

I got married at 19. I guess I knew but I denied it very effectively. I started wearing her clothes at approximately 25. She never knew and we were married 44 years. I accept now that I was fascinated with dresses at a very early age. I think I would still have gotten married, even if I had known, as I was terrified of anything that could be thought of as "homosexual".

[Lisa Golightly]

Well being single I have to be honest and say I've obviously had issues in all the relationships I've had... but I have been honest with them all.

[wannabie]

I knew back in highschool. I wore a lot of Pink back then; shirts, teeshirts, my mom's sweaters and socks and I got away with it because lighter colors were the style back then and I had no problems with male/female relationships. I don't think I can get away with it now though and the relationships back then isn't the same as it is now.

[marny]

didn't start for me til I was 45. any thoughts on that?

[wannabie]

didn't start for me til I was 45. any thoughts on that?



Late Bloomer?

[Jennifer Brooks]

Nobody knew back in the day and as of now, my S.O. knows just a very little from the past, not the present. I finally came to terms with being a CD when I first got the internet back in 2004. I then reached out to so many groups and such and realized I was not alone.

[shauna 9]

My wife of 21 years has known form the time we started dateing.

[suchacutie]

I didn't tell my wife before we were married because I didn't know either! We discovered it together a couple years ago and the rest, as they say, is history!

tina

[shirley1]

it seems to me for some the need to get into a relationship and settle down and hope it goes away is the norm for me its never been the case i have shied away from relationships and women and hence i am now nearly 40 and single - i dont know if thats a good thing or not anymore free to live out my cd lifestyle but knowone to share my life with ! is that a bonus or a minus i think it is neither lifes swings and rounabouts and everyone thinks or most people at least the grass is always greener on the other side - i do believe that but i would like to find out if wearing a dress or a skirt in public is good maybe if it wasnt as good as i thought it would be then i might have solved a problem - but then again i fancy women not men - maybe i should just becom a lesbian preferably one that likes to dress likes a girl though !

[Bravesoul]

I knew when I was very young. I kept it from my first wife, but made sure I told my second with. She now is very supportive and buys all my clothes. (life's good). Christmas was very good.


:drink:

[Samantha43]

I told my wife long before we were married. We have been married for 19 years and she has been very supportive. She buys all of my clothes and makeup to save me the embarrasment. She also likes to get dolled up when I do. It makes for a fun evening!

After reading these posts I now realize how lucky I am.

[CheriTV2006]

I always knew I had a desire to crossdress previous to my relationships. I lost three relationships in my late teens/twenties, once or twice due to what I think were related inate, un-malelike, unusual vibes/reactions displayed on my part (this has continued), two relationships due to divulging past early homosexual experiences in male boarding schools (I include this because submissive female role feelings were involved), and my marriage in part(she knew previous to marriage, however, it was swept under the rug). Now, I'm single and commited to be totally upfront about my crossdressing to whomever I get involved with, female or male.

[1950sclothes]

I always suspected people knew and when I cam eout, everyone said they didn't know. Now I couldn't care less who knows but sadly for me dressing up is a private thing. If I lived somewhere where no-one knew me, I would spend more time trying to look convincing.

I have a female dress sense which isn't attention-grabbing. I like to dress mumsy, but my face is a bit of a giveaway. If I worked hard on disquising my male face, I would go out dressed more often.