Time to Wonder..just what the H... am I

[Sherlyn]

I have been reading all the latest Ts TG...Cd...etc... threads and its leaving me in a space on where do I fit in? ..sure I cross dress or impersonate as a female as most of you do know ...I've had feelings all my life that maybe I was meant to be female ...yet never could understand changing myself physically ..it crossed my mind alot in the past but I would squash the thought almost as fast as it came..I identify with a large amount of ppl in public now as Sherlyn..and lately that kinda scares me..because its becoming a part of my life yet it still seems so secret ..I do not hide my secret from this ppl yet I do not associate with them in male mode ...Is that weird ?// hmmm dunno ..so in that respect I (think) Im ..!!!MORE!!!..than Cd..because its not the dressing in the clothes coz it feels good.. its the clothes that make others see who I feel I should have been!!! ..but Wheres the !!!MORE!!!leading me to ..again hmmm dunno ??..slightly confused ....nuh uh getting to the near totally...

[Tamara Croft]

You don't need to fit in anywhere, there is no specific place for everyone, you are just who you are right? Don't sit there wondering about it, it will drive you nuts... just live your life day by day, don't be wondering about tomorrow or next week.. it's the NOW that counts...

[Sherlyn]

Tamara its just seeing all these labelled threads lately it does make one wonder..but I do know what you mean coz I was a firm believer in this is Who I Am ...however at times the forum does seem to divide and label..

[Stacye Rose]

Tamara's right Sherlyn. The only person, or persons in your case, that you need to fit in with are you and your SO. Everyone and everything else is just....immaterial. Don't borrow trouble just because other folks are busy trying to stuff each other into pegholes. From what I see and read you're a beautiful girl who happens to have male plumbing. I wish I looked half as good as you do. I wish I HAD an SO, much less one as great as yours. Leave the who am I problems to people who want them.


Ciao,

Stacye

[Stormgirl]

You know what I always say and parden my French but F**k labels.

[Tamara Croft]

But sometimes these labels are needed no? Imagine going into a supermarket and nothing was labelled... you wouldn't know what you were buying would you? The problem I see with labelling lately is this 'us' vs 'them' attitude, it does make you wonder where you fit in doesn't it? I don't even know if I'm coming or going with the whole thing, people thinking they are better than others because they've had this done, that done and blah blah blah... but how does that help anyone? doesn't get us anywhere does it, doesn't help those who feel they don't fit in anywhere, which is how you're feeling right now no?

But sweetie, you don't need to be labelled, you know who you are, you're Sher, you like dressing up, you like going out, you love singing as Sher... etc etc... you are who you are, you don't need to be worrying where you fit in... so stop it, before I shove you in the closet, I'm sure you'll fit nice and snug in there :tongueout

[Sherlyn]

Awww Tamara thank-you.. you always make me smile ..even when you :slap: ...I understand the label thing and I really dont know where I fit in ... and Stacy what you say about pegholes is so right..
Jenny I pardon your french ..and I understand it
Oh Tamara..its not nice to put ppl in closets specially round here..:p

[Tamara Croft]

I didn't say 'put' I said 'shove' :p :kickbutt:

[Joy Carter]

Only you can say what you are. But I know how you feel. I get dressed and go out, and I so forget about my male self. But I have to go back, because I have loved one's who depend on the man. If I were single, I'd seriously consider living full time.
Just go with it, and en-JOY the uniqueness of who you are. :hugs:

[docrobbysherry]

Tamara its just seeing all these labelled threads lately it does make one wonder..but I do know what you mean coz I was a firm believer in this is Who I Am ...however at times the forum does seem to divide and label..

U need to remember that opinions r like a--, excuse me, noses! Everyone on this site has one. I'm trying to develope a thicker skin and take a lot of the posts that criticise closet/fetish CD's, like me, with a grain of salt!

Also, a lot of the members probably throw out a lot of opinions just to get a reaction. At least I hope so!

When all is said and done, despite all of our obvious differences here, we probably have more in common with each other, than the other folks on our planet!
RS

[battybattybats]

When we need or want to discuss the differences between two or more things we have to come up with labels or terms to describe the differences. When we want to talk about the similarities between two or more things we need labels or terms to describe the similarities.

But for anything that is even remotely complex these will always be vague nebulous generalisations. Humans are some of the more complicated things we have so far encountered.

In many respects these labels are stereotypes. In others they are a common bond that generates a sense of belonging and community. As long as they are vague and adaptable the labels can be good, they need constant revision though just as in all science which relies on catagorising and labeling to function. All truths in science are under constant revision.

The most precious thing we can have is difference. Look at bio-diversity. It enriches entire eco-systems. If a population loses too much of it's bio-diversity it becomes extinct. Difference is good. Difference is valuable.

If you are so different that you fall between or move between catagories of difference, well that just makes you more precious and the catagories less accurate, less important.

Don't fit in box a or z? Dance in the wide space in between. Dance between and enjoy your difference. You can take what is good from box a that you like then dance over to box z and do likewise.

There must be many people who fit between CD and TS.
And many different ways being CD or TS can be expressed. Not everyone will follow the common path that others with similar experiences might tend to tread.

While our similarities make it easier to understand and empathise with one another it is our differences, from people who are very different from us and from those who are mostly similar, that makes us truly valuable.

[Kate Simmons]

You are just you Sherlyn and you are a good person. I'm just me as well and don't really define myself because it's really too limiting. Funny when we talk about this kind of stuff because I always think in terms of all of us as people rather than this that or the other thing. Labels are okay for reference and I respect everyone's self perception but when it comes to my friends, that's who they are plain and simple and no label can change that.:hugs:

[Wendy me]

first off hugs..... i hate labels i do .... born "HIM" and at a early age finding that i liked dressing in clothing of the other gender ..... developed breasts as a young teen ager talk abought confusing and a huge hassle as a young "MAN" with boobs.....

thought i never belonged any were let alone this CD / TRANS .... or what ever .... being a very excise compulsive person with "ISSUES" i settled as a CD ... years of questing i found my "COMFORT ZONE" .....i sure i could find a new title .... i could be TG/TS or what ever .....i dress just abought every day because it's who a huge part of me is....


Sherlyn this is not a race .... or any thing you need to take to the next step (label) be you thats all you need to do .......yes it's confusing all the time but remember we are just a little complex do we need to add more to it?????......

[cindybarnes]

Hey Sherlyn !
It sounds like you figured out that your unique ,,nothing wrong with that, it just means there is only ONE Sheryln !!
Cindy fits in the mix somewhere too but I stopped wondering a while ago where that is :)
Hugs !
Cindy

[GypsyKaren]

Sherlyn, all I know is that you're a beautiful, kind, and wonderful person, both inside and out. Try not to worry about what you are, just focus on who you are and what makes you happy, nothing else matters in the long run. Don't be afraid to face yourself and look inside your heart, because that's where you'll find the answers to everything, and don't be afraid if you find yourself leaning towards the TS side of the spectrum, I myself have found it a wonderful place to be.

One thing to always remember, there's no right or wrong way about this, there's only your way, do what works for you, There's no rule book that says you have to do this or that, you can take this as far as you want to, hormones and surgery are not required of anyone. I'm no expert Sherlyn, but I'm always here for you if you want to talk, anytime and everytime.

Karen Starlene :star:

[Kieron Andrew]

quite simply if you still feel no need for surgery then there no reason why you cant be a non-op TS, and dress fulltime.....i hate labels but thats the best i could come up with, whatever the decision you make you will always be Sher to me:hugs:

[Kelsy]

Im ..!!!MORE!!!..than Cd..because its not the dressing in the clothes coz it feels good.. its the clothes that make others see who I feel I should have been!!! ...

Sherlyn, Pesonally I never understood the "the women's clothes are more comfortable" justification there are plenty of men's clothes with the same fit and feel. I agree with you the clothes make others see me as I am. fact is lately even dressed in drab others are seeing the feminine me. The other day when dressed in my underwear my wife says "you know you should have been a girl" I didn't argue:D Be who you are _ Beautiful!


:hugs:Kelsy

[MsJanessa]

Dont worry about it hon---you are what you are. Almost every T-Girl on this site has developed a different persona than the one they had originally, including moi. Some of us have gone so far down that road that we have become what we want to be full time, others have retained the option of going back and forth. Either way is ok and if what you are doing works for you then all the better.

[maryjanecapri]

i am in the same boat. i so often wonder what i am. i don't really fit into most of the labels. but i think the reason i don't fit in is because my frame of mind changes so often. one day i'm a man. next day i feel like a woman. then one day i feel like both.

some days i only want to wear something underneath. some days i want to blow it all out and look as pretty as possible.

but i guess most of all i am just me. i am a human being who fluctuates in most ways except when it comes to being in love with my wife and being passionate about the things in my life.

[Priscilla Ann]

I think I'll label you Sherlyn. Healthy or unheathy, I have several different personas depending on who I am with and where I am. For the record, I have always thought Sherlyn is a fun, cool chic.

[Stacye Rose]

If a man hears a different drummer, let him march to that beat no matter how measured or how far away. Henry David Thoreau

[jessicacn74]

hi ,
i am a male who dresses up as a female i go by the name of jessica may rains and i believe i am a female traped in a males body, the feeling is the same for me but i reather be jessica may rains all the time................. jessica may rains

hi maryjane,
i feel like you do and i wounder if my wife well check in on me when i am as jessica may rains.......................... jessica may rains

[Brianna1]

Don't fit in box a or z? Dance in the wide space in between. Dance between and enjoy your difference. You can take what is good from box a that you like then dance over to box z and do likewise.

I love this part, Bats and I see the forums as a place where I can read good ideas and take on board what I see as valuable to me and discard what I don't want in order to help me define who I am and help me to become who I want to be. Our human society needs to put people in boxes in order to function easily and those of us who blur the boundaries that make the definition easy are frowned upon. But in reality the disapproval is merely that alone and isn't that important in the real scheme of things. Most people are too busy with their own problems to be bothered with yours...thankfully we have a group that can be bothered and that is great! What friends are, are the ones who are left after we 'weed out' the disapprovers.

[Fab Karen]

You're YOU, like Tamara said. As for going further, that's something you have to look deep inside yourself to know what you truly want/need.
And I have a label for you: Fab!

[Mirani]

I feel the same Sherlyn - didnt realise your thread was here and started one of my own on a similar theme.

as you say .. I was a firm believer in this is Who I Am ...however at times the forum does seem to divide and label..whatever

Kind regards - whatever we may label ourselves or other people may label us - you are obviously held in high esteem ... thats the real label that matters, being a good person whatever we wear and however often we wear it.

[kim85]

As so many have already you are what you are despite the labels that are throw around just be true to yourself.
Kim
xxx

[TxKimberly]

Welcome to the State of Confusion Sherlyn, we have lots of folks just like you (and I) here. I think you stated it fairly well and I'd have to say that's pretty much just how I feel too.

[battybattybats]

I love this part, Bats and I see the forums as a place where I can read good ideas and take on board what I see as valuable to me and discard what I don't want in order to help me define who I am and help me to become who I want to be. Our human society needs to put people in boxes in order to function easily and those of us who blur the boundaries that make the definition easy are frowned upon. But in reality the disapproval is merely that alone and isn't that important in the real scheme of things. Most people are too busy with their own problems to be bothered with yours...thankfully we have a group that can be bothered and that is great! What friends are, are the ones who are left after we 'weed out' the disapprovers.

Thanks.
Also it's worth stating that society is a work-in-progress and when people don't fit into the system then the system has to adapt around them to work properly. By forcing society to fit in with us we are actually doing our duty to improve the society, making it better for everyone and helping society and humanity on their evolution.

[SherriePall]

Sherlyn -- Labels are only for others. Labels help others put us somewhere along that continuum line. However, being on that line is like being on a boat in a storm. Sometimes you go forward, sometimes you go back, sometimes you stand still or even go sideways. For many of us our condition is one of day-to-day fluidity. When, and if, the motion ever stops, we'll know where we belong in this gender world.

In other words, Sherlyn, you'll always be you whether you're wearing a skirt or jeans (guy).