I am really having trouble.... maybe it is me

[paulap]

I am wondering if anyone is in a FLR situation with their SO. I so much want that but my guy inside is having much difficulty relenting with respect to control and authority. There is so much I feel I need to retain responsibility for but, on the other hand, I want my wife to take over. I just think ego is getting in the way. Please help!

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

This is gonna sound dumb... but what is FLR?

[Cherry Lynn]

This is gonna sound dumb... but what is FLR?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[DonnaT]

Female Led Relationship

Some even prefer a femdom type FLR.


Paula, what does your SO think about the idea of being the one in charge of everything??

EDIT: You might try joining this forum http://www.female-led-relationships.com/forum/index.php?

You'll need to open about being transgendered.

[jennydl]

Hi Paulap,quick question.Does your wife want to take the lead?

[kim85]

Id say why not both having dominant parts within the realtionship
Kim
xxx

[DAVIDA]

I read this post...went on and had to come back!
It might just be me, but I think that a balanced relationship is not led by either one. It takes work and respect from both parties for a relationship to work.

[paulap]

Thanks for the questions. I think that she does like the control when she takes over, but it seems inconsistent. We have had several discussions over the topic; problem is that she doesn't seem to want it all the time and it is very difficult to figure out when she is in the mode and when she isn't. Also, a big problem is giving up control. Sometimes, I do not agree with her decsions and choices. Sometimes, I do agree. I am trying to promote it 24/7, not just in the bedroom, but it isn't easy.

[jennydl]

Hi,one possible way to get her to take the lead more often is when she does take the lead,LET HER LEAD!!!support her decisions,trust her.she won't like to lead if you keep telling her she made the wrong choice.
jenny

[DeeInGeorgia]

My own relationship is more of an FLR. My wife is constantly trying to get me to take more lead. But when I suggested changes on her part, she would not give up control. She wants me to be more masculine, but she won't let me lead in other areas in support of a more masculine attitude.

Dee

[kim85]

Thanks for the questions. I think that she does like the control when she takes over, but it seems inconsistent. We have had several discussions over the topic; problem is that she doesn't seem to want it all the time and it is very difficult to figure out when she is in the mode and when she isn't. Also, a big problem is giving up control. Sometimes, I do not agree with her decsions and choices. Sometimes, I do agree. I am trying to promote it 24/7, not just in the bedroom, but it isn't easy.


It seems as tho you are both confussed. Judging by what you have written neither one of you seems to want to take control in every aspect. What came out of the serval dicsussions
Kim
xxx

[Jenna Stunned]

Well after reading this i would think that you are not really ready for her to take over. Maby you are turned on by the idea of your SO running the show. But in reality your not ready for that. If you REALLY want her to run things then you have to support all of her decisions whether you like them or not.

I would spend some more time thinking about what it is that you really want out of it. What you are ready to commit to.

[battybattybats]

Why should a relationship be led?
Why can't all neccessarily mutual decisions be decided mutually?
I mean sure having someone be the lead in the bedroom from time to time can be fun but for the whole relationship?

Oh well, if that's your thing and that's what you want, fair enough.

But then there is a very real possibility that your partner might not want to play that role all the time. Just like in the bedroom some only like being dominant just on the odd occassion. Perhaps she likes you leading the relationship too? Maybe you'll both have to learn to switch?

[paulap]

I think there is much truth to the comment that I may not be ready for her to take over all the responsibilities and and now, having said that, maybe she doesn't want to. We need to find some compromise because she likes being in charge and I like it as long as it makes sense to me. Yes, sadly, I am too judgemental!