Lola
06-18-2004, 11:10 AM
I am very much in love with a man who only recently told me about his desires to feel and act as a woman at times...
It took him a long time to tell me and i’m so glad he finally did, because while we really share a very beautifull love, something was preventing this love from becoming real real...he kept telling me there was something wrong with him. Whenever the subject of living together came along, he said he couldn’t commit because he was no good and whenever i asked him, please tell me what is it that’s wrong with you, he said he couldn’t tell me, because he was sure i would stop loving him if he did. I was really getting worried, what could be so terribly wrong about him?
When he finally told me, i could hardly believe this was “the big thing”... This is it? This is why you say you are no good? How could he think that the same qualities that made me love him so much could make me walk away from him? His gentle, sensitive perception of the world, his tender heart...
Since this whole phenomenon was pretty new to me, i mean in the way of becoming important in my life, i started reading about it (he showed me this forum) and i began to understand why he had been so afraid of telling me...losing me. To me it’s unbelievable that so many women/people in general, reject this side of the person they say they love. Of course i had to get used to it, i won’t deny that... it’s just something i could never have guessed, but never for one second i thought of it as being something that could make me look at him differently or love him less.
We are not living together (yet), but i know, if ever we do, i’m going to not just accept him dressing, but support and encourage him in every way i can, help him dress, make him look as pretty as possible, do the girlish things with him, love all the aspects of his personality... to me that’s what love is about, the happiness of the one you love is what’s making you happy...
Later he asked me now that you know, do you love me the same way you did before? and i said i love you more... looking back, realizing how he must have suffered from this and after reading what a lot of CD’s have to go through, the fear of rejection, the shame, my heart cries for all the lonely souls still hiding what might be the most vulnerable, precious part of their being, out of fear...
I think a forum like this helps to create a more realistic view on crossdressing, hopefully taking away some of the prejudices, showing crossdressers are not weird, creepy people, just people with a little something different. Therefore i thought it might help a little to tell my story here, i’m sure there must be many more women like me who love their man for the person he is, maybe you just don’t hear so much of them, maybe you just mostly hear the negative reactions, but like i said, i’m sure there must be many more for whom it just isn’t such a big deal..
And to everyone still hiding i’d like to say... please, please, tell your partner as soon as possible... it can only bring you win, she might take it a lot better than you’d expected... if not, she wasn’t the right person for you in the first place and the sooner you find that out, the better it is for both of you...
It took him a long time to tell me and i’m so glad he finally did, because while we really share a very beautifull love, something was preventing this love from becoming real real...he kept telling me there was something wrong with him. Whenever the subject of living together came along, he said he couldn’t commit because he was no good and whenever i asked him, please tell me what is it that’s wrong with you, he said he couldn’t tell me, because he was sure i would stop loving him if he did. I was really getting worried, what could be so terribly wrong about him?
When he finally told me, i could hardly believe this was “the big thing”... This is it? This is why you say you are no good? How could he think that the same qualities that made me love him so much could make me walk away from him? His gentle, sensitive perception of the world, his tender heart...
Since this whole phenomenon was pretty new to me, i mean in the way of becoming important in my life, i started reading about it (he showed me this forum) and i began to understand why he had been so afraid of telling me...losing me. To me it’s unbelievable that so many women/people in general, reject this side of the person they say they love. Of course i had to get used to it, i won’t deny that... it’s just something i could never have guessed, but never for one second i thought of it as being something that could make me look at him differently or love him less.
We are not living together (yet), but i know, if ever we do, i’m going to not just accept him dressing, but support and encourage him in every way i can, help him dress, make him look as pretty as possible, do the girlish things with him, love all the aspects of his personality... to me that’s what love is about, the happiness of the one you love is what’s making you happy...
Later he asked me now that you know, do you love me the same way you did before? and i said i love you more... looking back, realizing how he must have suffered from this and after reading what a lot of CD’s have to go through, the fear of rejection, the shame, my heart cries for all the lonely souls still hiding what might be the most vulnerable, precious part of their being, out of fear...
I think a forum like this helps to create a more realistic view on crossdressing, hopefully taking away some of the prejudices, showing crossdressers are not weird, creepy people, just people with a little something different. Therefore i thought it might help a little to tell my story here, i’m sure there must be many more women like me who love their man for the person he is, maybe you just don’t hear so much of them, maybe you just mostly hear the negative reactions, but like i said, i’m sure there must be many more for whom it just isn’t such a big deal..
And to everyone still hiding i’d like to say... please, please, tell your partner as soon as possible... it can only bring you win, she might take it a lot better than you’d expected... if not, she wasn’t the right person for you in the first place and the sooner you find that out, the better it is for both of you...