Rejected again

[goofus]

Well, I got thrown under the bus by yet another GG. She said that part of the reason she rejected me was because of the crossdressing. She said she prefers "manly men". Well, I watch football and baseball, I've changed my own oil, I've even smoked cigars. :sigh: Golly, what do I have to do, wrestle an alligator? :happy: I Besides which, aren't "manly men" kind of dumb? I didn't say any of that to her, but maybe I should have (I was trying to be diplomatic). I don't know - GG's, CD's, any thoughts?

[susanmichelle]

Some women i have found like manly men, what I have found out more is they like some that are asses and rude and crude and they try to change them. They dont want someone like they are. Thats the reasons I have heard from them. Maybe its the Indiana women. LOL Since I live in Indiana too. Better luck next time and hope it all goes well for you.

[Joy Carter]

Well, I got thrown under the bus by yet another GG. She said that part of the reason she rejected me was because of the crossdressing. She said she prefers "manly men". Well, I watch football and baseball, I've changed my own oil, I've even smoked cigars. :sigh: Golly, what do I have to do, wrestle an alligator? :happy: I Besides which, aren't "manly men" kind of dumb? I didn't say any of that to her, but maybe I should have (I was trying to be diplomatic). I don't know - GG's, CD's, any thoughts?

So sorry this happened. But maybe she just wasn't the one. She's out there some where. Just have to be in the right place at the right time.
I myself am not particularly manly. But I don't put those who are down. Well maybe the one's, who feel they need to pass gas to feel important. :rolleyes:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Hi there,

Its really hard to say what may or may not have made a difference. Sounds to me like she was done because of the dressing and no amount of effort on your part to be even MORE manly would have made a difference.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but perhaps you can take heart in knowing that somewhere out there... there REALLY is a GG that was meant to be with the real you.

I found one, and you will too.

*much Hugs*

Zara

[Carla Mel]

I remember, long time ago a fiancee dump me because of the same reason. And the funny thing is that at that time I was not crossdressing at all. But when she expressed the need of a "manly" man she was meaning I was too childish.
So what I think is that the "manly" thing for me, and probably for you is just a pretext. When you love somebody you don't care, or think things change. So my feeling is that it is just a problem of chemistry (elective afinity). Too childish, too feminine, not enough this or that, needing a more a paternal figure, or a marine, or "security" or madness etc etc... seams to me are just excuses not to just say there is no more chemistry. So if I was you I probably just will have this discussion, not finding out what went wrong and discussing the reality of the "reasons" she is leaving, but finding out if something went fine during your relation at some point, if durimg some time there was something like love, then if ther was these "chemistry" between you, is it worth trying to find it again?
Good luck anyway
Kisses
Carla

[Shelly67]

Perhaps its for the better that you,ve parted - who knows .......I feel for you tho ...
I was so lucky my partner accepted me . just before I came out to her I had a serious worry ( other than her laughing seeing me dressed ) - how was I to act ...? Femanine , dom , quiet ( voice give away ) or just me ...? Am I manly in my normalness ( whats normal ? ) In the end I relaxed , and tried to make light of it all . I recieved silence in return . I was shattered emotionally . But the rest is history , and it has,nt been easy , but its cool right now .....
All I can say , is there is someone out there , just be yourself , honest and kind , not forceful - whatever you do tho listen , and perhaps one day things will gel .....
Good luck and merry christmas .....

[MAJESTYK]

I think it's a convenient excuse for " I dont know how to or cant handle something like crossdressing" Cheer up, some day things will get better. What's a manly man anyway? Is it equipment or attitude? I tend to think I am quite manly, so to speak, and I can still be myself when I want.

[Mitch23]

always hurtful but time to take stock and move on - the right one's out there for you - just keep being yourself and you'll find her

mitch

[Suzie S.]

Goofus, please don't be hard on yourself! Who says you're not manly? It's all in people's perception. It's better to find out early that you two were not a good match. There is a right woman out there for you, trust me. You did the right thing by being honest and upfront with her, it's her loss. True love will happen. I wish you well, let us know how things are going. :hugs:

[Raychel]

I can think of alot of manly things that could be said here. Most of which would get me thrown off the forum.

But if the woman is that shallow, then good riddens.
Move on and find a woman that will accept you for who you are.

[Kate Simmons]

Beats me Hon. Other than the stereotype, I don't know what a "manly man" does. Some people really don't know what they want, it seems.:idontknow:

[Angie G]

My wife didn't know about my my dressing for 37 years almost 3 years ago it came out
And it has made no differencs to her she says it's who I am and she loves me.
I believe were made for eac other and I believe you will find the one for you just keep looking hun :hugs:
Angie

[Tasha T]

I feel for you. Being rejected is painful. I know because I get rejected by women all the time too. At least she gave you some kind of explanation. Most of the ones I deal with either stand me up, don't return e-mail's/phone calls or just vanish as if I never existed. It makes me feel horrible, but I try and keep it all in perspective and accept the fact that I am better off without people who are going to treat me that way. I don't know about you, but I want to find someone who can love me for who I am as a person without having to put on an act or a show in order to be approved by them. If the women you date are looking for the socially approved, stereotypical manly man and you aren't that, then you can smoke all the cigars you want, watch all the baseball/football you want, change the oil on your car a thousand times and become the Indiana state alligator wrestling champion, but you're never going to win their hearts. Just forget about her and move on. There's someone better out there for you.

[Eugenie]

Well, there are different tastes: some women like very masculine men, other like men who are less aggressively males, and some even like effeminate men...

Many of the women whom I've come out to just liked me as a woman. For a few of them, it was a real plus in our relationship.

I hope that you will fond some one who will not only understand your X-dressing but will also enjoy being with you as a x-dresser.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[mollytyler]

I prefer "manly-men" too>>>>but as my dates!!!! Sorry to hear...jsut be true to yourself and avoid compromisg your needs....there is a special woman out there for you....for a pretty little thing like you it will just take time-

[Noel Chimes]

First of all, you were NOT thrown under the bus. You were given the freedom to be who you are without her condisending comments.:love: Congradulate yourself click your heels and strut your stuff.:thumbup: If you don't love you, then how can someone else love you. There are women out there who accept us just as we are, jockey shorts in one drawer and panties in another drawer. This is who we are, no apoligies. One day your love will come to you, but until then enjoy life to the fullest.

[SherriePall]

For nearly 25 years my wife thought I was a manly man. I didn't smoke or curse, but I served 12 years in two different branches of the military, played sports, am fiercely competitive in almost everything, etc., etc. But, I did sneak in to her lingerie and clothes whenever I could. When I told her, she said she had no clue. So, I was a manly man with my "softer side." The girl you just lost could find a manly man and find out years later that he, too, loves his femme side.

[kittypw GG]

Maybe it is the kind of girl that you are trying to date? Some girls can be very vain and are really looking for a "trophy" or certain look rather than what kind of man their potential partners are or what principals they stand for. This kind of women would probably never accept a partner that didn't fit that image. Age may also play a factor. The younger you are the less you look at content over the wrapping. In my expirence this has been true for both men and women.

I would suggest you keep trying but maybe revise your screening process to include quality characteristics that you would want in a partner. Good luck :hugs: Kitty

[Nicole Erin]

Well, I got thrown under the bus by yet another GG. She said that part of the reason she rejected me was because of the crossdressing. She said she prefers "manly men". Well, I watch football and baseball, I've changed my own oil, I've even smoked cigars. :sigh: Golly, what do I have to do, wrestle an alligator? No, the last guy who did that got finished off by a stingray. :happy: I Besides which, aren't "manly men" kind of dumb? Yes that is why Women prefer them, women don't want anything to threaten their level of intelligence, that is why morons and jobless LOSERS get all the hot looking women. I didn't say any of that to her, but maybe I should have (I was trying to be diplomatic). I don't know - GG's, CD's, any thoughts?
I say date another CD. No one understands us better than other CD's. I for one love my CD sisters. If I were not married, I would probably date only CD's. We are normally really particular about our looks and hygiene. We rock! Another good thing, we do not say "I missed my last period". Do I need to continue about why we are so great? :)

[MJ]

I say date another CD. No one understands us better than other CD's. I for one love my CD sisters. If I were not married, I would probably date only CD's. We are normally really particular about our looks and hygiene. We rock! Another good thing,
we do not say "I missed my last period". Do I need to continue about why we are so great? :)

hmm be good mj be good ..


goofus
If at first you don't succeed try try again .. when the right time comes you will find your true love :love:

[Melinda G]

I think in many cases, CDing is just a convenient excuse, rather than tell you the real reasons. That's why I would never come out to anyone, early on.
Lots of women are attracted to "bad guys", who treat them like crap. Then they spend the rest of their lives bitching and trashing men.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

When I went out fully dressed for my Office Halloween Party, almost all the men at work said two things, one, that I was scary to them because I looked better than alot of the women at work and that they would do me if they didn't know me, they also commented that I was more manly than them to be able to wear the outfit, they were too scared to even dress up. So again we are more Manly and more feminine than most.

:happy:We are balanced.

[ShannonDragon]

Maybe its the Indiana women. LOL Since I live in Indiana too. Better luck next time and hope it all goes well for you.

Those are fight'en words!
I happen to be married to an Indiana woman for 29 years.

[Ashley Williams]

I am never going to be a 'manly' man in the common meaning. I don't enjoy sport, except Rugby and NFL football, I certainly don't 'mix it with the lads' in the pub or play golf.

I am emotionally aware and sensitive, and have always got on well with women better than with men.

These qualities have nothing to do with cross-dressing. I have only just told my wife that my compulsion to dress has returned - 10 years ago I believed that I had beaten the need.

Now I have to face the challenge - and my wife is working out what it is she really values in me.

Everyone has a range of qualities that are attractive - or not. The more open you can be the more you are likely to find someone who has a similar perspective on life as you.

It is difficult to take rejection - but take heart! You are what you are - and there is someone out there who will take what you are - keep trying!

All the Best

Lesley

[goofus]

Some women i have found like manly men, what I have found out more is they like some that are asses and rude and crude and they try to change them. They dont want someone like they are. Thats the reasons I have heard from them. Maybe its the Indiana women. LOL Since I live in Indiana too. Better luck next time and hope it all goes well for you.

Yeah, Indiana people in general aren't known for being open minded and tolerant of differences :)


Hi there,

Its really hard to say what may or may not have made a difference. Sounds to me like she was done because of the dressing and no amount of effort on your part to be even MORE manly would have made a difference.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but perhaps you can take heart in knowing that somewhere out there... there REALLY is a GG that was meant to be with the real you.

I found one, and you will too.

*much Hugs*

Zara

I wish I could share your optimism - but I'm not holding my breath.


Maybe it is the kind of girl that you are trying to date? Some girls can be very vain and are really looking for a "trophy" or certain look rather than what kind of man their potential partners are or what principals they stand for. This kind of women would probably never accept a partner that didn't fit that image. Age may also play a factor. The younger you are the less you look at content over the wrapping. In my expirence this has been true for both men and women.

I would suggest you keep trying but maybe revise your screening process to include quality characteristics that you would want in a partner. Good luck :hugs: Kitty

Good points, Kitty. This woman is considerably younger than me (she's 21)


I say date another CD. No one understands us better than other CD's. I for one love my CD sisters. If I were not married, I would probably date only CD's. We are normally really particular about our looks and hygiene. We rock! Another good thing, we do not say "I missed my last period". Do I need to continue about why we are so great? :)

Interesting idea, but I kind of prefer GG's, even if they don't prefer me :happy:


When I went out fully dressed for my Office Halloween Party, almost all the men at work said two things, one, that I was scary to them because I looked better than alot of the women at work and that they would do me if they didn't know me, they also commented that I was more manly than them to be able to wear the outfit, they were too scared to even dress up. So again we are more Manly and more feminine than most.

:happy:We are balanced.

Right, in a way we are more "manly" 'cause it takes guts for a guy to wear a dress :happy:

I want to thank everyone for their support and encouragement. I think that if I'm persistent, I can find a GG that will be at least somewhat tolerant. I just hope it happens before I get too much older :D

[Sinthia]

Sounds like your ex-girlfriend was judging a bppk by its cover. Just because a guy is 'Manly' and does sports, mechanics, hunts and fishes, etc., does not guarantee that he does not wear panties. You need to find what is in a persons mind and heart to know what kind of a person they really are. Perhaps your loss this time is really your gain. You can dress all you want without sneaking around and not being truthful.

[Julie York]

Beat your chest. Gets 'em every time.

[jennifer41356]

I am sorry to hear that you got rejected but not to sound too negative, a female friend once said to me "would you want a girlfriend who always wanted to dress and act like a man"

I realize now it is a lot to ask of a woman to accept us like we are, the question their sexuality as well as the way the were brought up. a lot of woman were raised to believe they werent complete unless they had a strong man to protect and care for them, so when they see you dressed like a woman and acting like a lady, they have trouble accepting....just my :2c:
:love:

[androgyne]

I feel for you. Being rejected is painful. I know because I get rejected by women all the time too. At least she gave you some kind of explanation. Most of the ones I deal with either stand me up, don't return e-mail's/phone calls or just vanish as if I never existed. It makes me feel horrible, but I try and keep it all in perspective and accept the fact that I am better off without people who are going to treat me that way. I don't know about you, but I want to find someone who can love me for who I am as a person without having to put on an act or a show in order to be approved by them. If the women you date are looking for the socially approved, stereotypical manly man and you aren't that, then you can smoke all the cigars you want, watch all the baseball/football you want, change the oil on your car a thousand times and become the Indiana state alligator wrestling champion, but you're never going to win their hearts. Just forget about her and move on. There's someone better out there for you.

What I have found over the years is that there are very few GGs that can handle a relationship with a man who dresses and acts like a woman. I think the best chance at an endearing relationship for many of us is with another CD, TV or TS, provided that we are gay or bi to begin with.

[crusadergirl]

You will find someone right for you one day this girl just isn't good enough for you.
I don't know what a manly man is but i do like mostly guy stuff like wrestling, football, basketball the UFC. I like very little girl stuff but i'm still not a manly man are whatever that is. You keep it real and find someone better for you.

[heidi99]

Your name may be goofus, but your actions were undoubtedly gallant!!! Personal integrity is a gift you give yourself. I don't know how long you've known this one, or the ages involved, but as several others have pointed out, if she couldn't see the incredible qualities within, I say "NEXT!" and be happy she saved you a bunch of wasted time!!!

I think it takes a very stong, well-adjusted woman to handle our passions. Unfortunately, there are not so many around. Why that is I am not sure. Society causes women (figuratively) to carry a lot of stuff around with them, and relationships have been evolving since the 60's. I sometimes lament about being alone, but would definitely not exchange freedom for being in a bad relationship (again).

Keep the faith, Goofus!!!

Heidi99

[androgyne]

I think it takes a very stong, well-adjusted woman to handle our passions. Unfortunately, there are not so many around. Why that is I am not sure. Society causes women (figuratively) to carry a lot of stuff around with them, and relationships have been evolving since the 60's. I sometimes lament about being alone, but would definitely not exchange freedom for being in a bad relationship (again).

QFT :hugs:

[goofus]

I am sorry to hear that you got rejected but not to sound too negative, a female friend once said to me "would you want a girlfriend who always wanted to dress and act like a man"

Well, I don't have to *always* dress and act like a woman, I'm willing to compromise there...in fact I hardly dressed at all around her the whole time I was dating her...


The girl you just lost could find a manly man and find out years later that he, too, loves his femme side.

Very true! At least I'm honest and admit up front what I am :)

Thanks again everyone for your support...I just wish more gg's would have weighed in :)