approach.....should I .....?

[Shelly67]

My partner and I enjoy all the delights of a loving relationship and whilst I,m enfemme - thank god !
I would however love to take things a little further ( just for the experience ) of her totally taking role reversal in the bedroom - and stay looking as pretty as she does...
But I,m so frightened to death to even ask her .....I,ve touched on the subject , but she seemed very quiet on this matter . And to be honest I can understand that . But as were both adults I,d love to be the total woman , just once when we,re intimate .......
Any advice please ??

[Mollyanne]

As you said, "I've touched on it" for the time being I would let it alone. She knows how you feel and is probably thinking it over. I wouldn't mention it again as this would be like "pushing it". This is just my spin on it.


:love: Mollyanne

[Alicia1984]

One of the biggest problems with the phrase "I've touched on it" doesn't actually mean you talked "openly" about it. To me, it sounds more like you hinted at it hopping that she understand what you meant, which never works.

There is one idea that you can try but you need to be honest and upfront with her from the start. Tell her that you would like to discuss fantasy/role playing with her. Make sure she understands from the start that there is no pressure to act on them. Look at it as talking about picking out a movie for the upcoming movie night. She isn't always going to want to watch some cool shot'em up/killer movie, but one night she might.

Next you let her tell you her fantasy/role playing she would like. Listen to her. Get her to explain parts to make sure you understand what she wants/likes.

When it's your turn, DO NOT HINT. Explain it all out. Even tell her why. Well talking, make sure to watch her body language and facial expresions. If she starts to look uncomfortable or not interested, stop and make sure of her feelings. Ask her if she would rather discuss this at another time.

I hope it works out for you. Even if she doesn't want to try it out or gets uncomfortable, there is always the future possibility, after all she is still with you. My wife and I have talked about what she would like and what I would. She isn't at that point yet and may never be, that I am okay with as long as we are together.

Alicia

[Glenda]

This isn't unique to crossdressers. Many men in our society have these same desires. It isn't for everyone though. You're scared to death to ask her? You want to make vague references and have her pick up on it and say what you are afraid to? Well, we do live in a disposable society. If you get tired of it just throw it away and get another.

We all say that communication is the key to a lasting relationship. Somehow being afraid to broach a subject says more about a lack of trust and our fear of being ridiculed. I'd say tell her what you want but respect her answer. If she says no then you must accept it. At least you put your faith in her.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

She is probably worried that you may have homosexual thoughts and may be avoiding the issue. I have "Lesbian" sex with my wife and what that means is two woman pleasing eachother, take it for what it's worth! My wife does not have any desire to be a lesbian but she works with my desires to be one from time to time and thats all good if you know what I mean.

[Shelly67]

Lets hope we can progress in some form . I think its having the nerve to communicate fully on a very delicate issue. I mean , some everyday " normal " people look upon girls like myself with either horror , disgust or humour - all 3 even ! And I fully understand the worrying question of possibly being homosexual . In fact I was asked that when I first came out ......
But , there is a glimmer of hope .....we have at least progressed to havin the wildest form of " lesbian " sex I could have wished for .
Perhaps I should count my blessings and leave this one area in the closet of desire and fantasy ..........






Hope she brings it up tho ...lol

[thecrossdresser]

just tell her! It'll eat you up inside if you're dying to be a bottom... I did & it took a while before she was comfortable . Now she's a natural!!

The only thing I would say, is know that it will NOT end with a silicon toy. I would really assess how you feel & see if you would want to be taken by a guy... and if that's the case, put it out there as well.

Bi-sexuality is natural & it does NOT mean you're gay.

[Dee Jay]

Recently during a rather kinky night of passion, I had anal sex with my wife for the first time. Later she inserted a rather large sex toy into my anus.
To my suprise, I enjoyed both acts more than I would have thought. The latter much more than I thought.
This really disturbed me, and for days I was feeling very awkward, with all sorts of thought running through my head.
Am I secretly gay, do I want to be a woman, will vaginal sex ever "do it" for me again?????
It really did disturb me even though I enjoyed the acts and was fully consenting.

So be warned, it's not just your wife that you want to make sure is happy, it might have an effect on you too.

Take care, and be sure.

DJ

[Stephenie S]

Two thoughts here:

One. If you want to communicate with your spouse, you have to communicate with your spouse. This means "hints" are OUT. What is she, a mind reader? Of course not. Wating for her to pick up on a "hint" is like pissing into the wind. It just doesn't work. Make sure she knows you are not pressuring her, that it's just something you would like to explore if she is willing, and TELL her. If she says no, then that means no. Drop the subject.

Two: If you are talking about anal sex (see? even I don't know for sure what you are talking about)(and I'm reading your letter), then you should be aware that anal sex is not harmless. It will lead to hemorrhoids and loss of anal sphincter tone when you are older. You may not be worried about that now, but when it happens, and believe me it WILL happen if you engage in anal play with anything as large as an erect penis, you will be very, very, sorry. For anal play, a finger is about the maximum size toy that is safe to use.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[MsToriJones]

Do you think you are different from any GG or GM on this? Anything that the general "society" determines is not the norm is hard to approach with your S.O. if you have kept things pretty much on the norm. I am GG and I am a wild child in the bedroom, it was very hard for me to express to my now husband exactly what I wanted him to do to my body and how. I started by moving his hand during sex to show him what I wanted, then went from there. now he knows where my limits/boundaries are and he won't cross them, but he will introduce new and exciting adventures to the room.