Are we more likely to go full-time as we age?

[Violetgray]

I was thinking.. are we more likely to go full-time as we get older, say, past retirement age assuming we don't have to work? I really like being both, not ready to abandon being male, but I was thinking.. when I'm older, why not?gender issues aside I fully intend to be one of those weird old people anyway, who yells at her garden dwarves (gnomes are for sissies) and punts them when they talk back. Or maybe a cat-lady. Yeah, I'll be a scary old cat-lady in a high-collared black dress and victorian granny boots and when the trick-or-treaters come by with their bags I'll give them string beans & cheese cubes. The point is, I'm gonna be weird, why not be a weird old lady? Anyone else figure they're gonna dress full time when they retire, or would if you didn't have a significant other to consider?

[Nicole Erin]

Of course.
The reason we are all at different levels has to do with our peers, responsibilities, and many other things.
Once someone is older - the kids are grown and gone, no job to worry about, AND I think the older one gets, the more they realise they don't have as many years left to enjoy life.

I know if I was in the position you said - I would not live a day as a male. But right now I don't want my own kid catching hell cause his dad CD's.

[Angie G]

My ertiring time is not far off I won't go full time but I will be dressing more not having to work :hugs:
Angie

[Deborah Jane]

Well since living on my own again i spend more time as Debs, so who knows maybe i will go full time eventually. I can quite see myself as the "mutton dressed as lamb" older woman in a leopard print mini skirt and heels:heehee:. As for weird, my ex wife thinks i,m weird anyway for dressing as a woman!!

[Eileen]

For sure many of us go f/t when we are older. When we are younger there are a lot of factors keeping us from going f/t. It worked that way for me. Now I am enjoying being the real me 24/7 and working enfem 3 nights a week. Being free to be me without the worries from the younger days is such a great feeling.

Eileen

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I have been retired for more than two years and I have been full time since the day I left work. I don't go out dressed because of where we live. But I am in female mode from dawn to dusk at home.

[StacyCD]

For me I'm not sure that even if I could-that I would want to go 24/7. It's likely that I would dress more give more opportunities but I'm certainly not a woman trapped in a man's body so I enjoy part-time dressing.

[Lisa Golightly]

I'd be quite happy to become a dotty old Miss Marple type :)

[Eugenie]

As one of the older CDs, I can say that in part, I feel a lot more free to act as I want to. I've never gone out "en femme" before a just few years ago, I've come out to some of my former work colleagues as now I don't care what they may think.

Yet, I'm not sure about going full time... When I weight the costs and benefits, is is worth doing it now at 61? We had that discussion with my wife. She told me that if she thought that I would be happier making that move of going full time "en femme", she would definitely encourage me to do so. But she said that she didn't think I would feel happyer. And I think she's right.

It would mean having to loose so many things I really like as for example, my wife who wouldn't stay with me. For sure I would have to move some place else, given the impact on my close family. And that just to live a few years as an "old lady" (nothing against, old ladies, just a question of life duration)

So yes I feel now more free to x-dress than I did 40 years ago but I think that if I had known what I know now then, I might have gone all the way at that time... Now it isn't worth it, at least as far as I am concerned...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Joy Carter]

If it were just me ? Maybe I'd be dressed ninety percent of the time. I'd only worry about being alone though.

[wannabie]

I don't know what's worse, being a wrinkly old lady or a grumpy old man.

my decision is still on the table.

Do I want to be a Cougar or a DOM when I'm old?

[Mitch23]

money isnt a pressure now but family responsibilities still are - otherwise i would be pretty much 24/7

mitch

[sandra-leigh]

I was thinking.. are we more likely to go full-time as we get older, say, past retirement age assuming we don't have to work?

There are different degrees of "going full time".

My wife had family obligations out of town for half of this year, so I was home alone a lot. For some people, that might have been an opportunity to dive right in and go "femme" when not at work. It wasn't like that for me. For example there were very few days indeed when I got home and rushed to change into a skirt or dress (and the few times I did were almost all to rush out again to our monthly meeting.)

On the other hand, through that time, I was usually technically dressed 24/7 including at work. Girl jeans, panties, trouser socks or tights or pantyhose, women's shoes: I wore those all of the time; and often a womens' top. Even when I wore a silk or more satiny blouse, no-one appeared to notice. Some days I wore my bra and forms to work (though I admit that I usually took off the forms themselves while I was at work-- not always though!). Thus, when I would get home from work, I was already in womens clothes.

But I estimate that I only went out Dressed roughly once every six weeks (besides the monthly meeting.) "Dressed" meaning wig and makeup and skirt or dress. Months would go by without my putting on a wig at all (I don't always wear a wig to the meetings, but my own hair is shoulder-length.)

So what would it mean for me to go "full time", more than what I've just gone through? If you are already technically pretty much "full time" and no-one notices?

I think "full time" means different things to different people. One of the posters indicated they would only do it inside the house. I think for me, "full time" would be more the extent to which I more visibly and publicly wear "feminine" clothes and allow that to be connected to my male self. Already a lot of sales associates have seen me in drab (well, at least so it would -appear-) shopping openly for myself, so I'm fairly public that way. But I have not yet done non-trivial front yard work while visibly in a skirt or dress; nor have I gone to the corner store (300 feet / 100 metres away) visibly in a skirt or dress; likewise I haven't gone obviously dressed to some restaurants where my wife and I are Known.


What's ahead for me in the next year? It is going to be one of adjustment for my wife and I; she's been away for the great majority of time since we had The Talk, and there is a difference between knowing that your husband 1000 miles away sometimes go out dressed up, vs dealing with the reality of the situation from close up. Two particular things I am hoping for are that she will allow me to casually wear a bra and forms (at home and when we are out together); and that she will accept my sometimes wearing a skirt even in "guy mode" (e.g., if I am off grocery shopping) -- i.e., accept that I openly publicly Cross-Dress. There are lots of other things I could hope for, but no sense in rushing things too much. But I don't think that I would feel like I was "full time" until at least the point where my attire while not at work was mostly a matter of personal mood.

[Pamela Julie]

I don't know what's worse, being a wrinkly old lady or a grumpy old man.

my decision is still on the table.

Do I want to be a Cougar or a DOM when I'm old?

I choose to be a grumpy old lady.

[Suzy Harrison]

I used to think if I didn't make the transistion when I was young, then I'd never do it all . The reasoning behind that idea was that when you're young you are better looking and you would have more years ahead to enjoy the female side of life.

However I've noticed as I got older the feelings have got more intense - so who knows ..................

[Carol A]

I retired and moved to the country, I dress everyday but the wife will not let me go public as we live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone.

[Ashly]

Full Time for me is wearing skirts full time...Since I am semi-retired I do that and I enjoy every day... Going out en-femme would be too much ..not for me but for people on the streets ;)

[jennifer easton]

I LOVE IT!!, in a New York min. let's be neighbor's Violet, we could give the little darling's and there parent's something to talk about, The two old spinster down the street!!! Jenn

[MJ]

[QUOTE=Suzy Harrison;1133185]I used to think if I didn't make the transition when I was young, then I'd never do it all . The reasoning behind that idea was that when you're young you are better looking and you would have more years ahead to enjoy the female side of life.

However I've noticed as I got older the feelings have got more intense - so who knows ..................
well Suzy look at me :eek:

i would be a sad unhappy old fart .. but times change now i will be an old weird lady maybe a cat woman

[LACD]

I agree, as I mature the urge to dress is becoming more of an urge. I really enjoy more now. I look forward to retirement(if ever) so I can dress more and more. Might be hard to wear a skirt on the Harley though. Guess I'll have to buy more jeans.

[vivianann]

20 yrs ago I did not think I wanted to live 24/7 as a woman, because I was fighting the urge to dress, when I finally for the 2nd time accepted that I liked to dress like a woman I was 32yrs old, but I did not think at that time I was going to want to dress full time as a woman. When I was 35 yrs old I completely quit dressing, after about 10 yrs I could not resist anymore, I put a dress on, and it felt sssooo good to be in a dress, it was like it was meant to be. In the last couple of yrs I have went from wearing a dress at home to now going out enfemme almost every day. I now want to live 24/7 as a woman and am taking the steps neccesary to make that happen.
I do think that as some of us get older we do want to go ful time, the urges get stronger with age. I hope that answers your question.:hugs:

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Unfortunately for me, four of the five friends I've had that decided to transistion were over 50. All four have died from heart complications due to the hormones/drugs. The fifth is 40 something and goes through an on again off again relationship with the hormones that is taking a toll of its own.

I don't know if age had anything truly to do with it, but it has made me incredibly sad to lose very dear friends.

Personally, I have no intentions whatsoever of doing so. I like ALL of me lol
*hugs*

Zara

[Dalece]

I'd love to be full time. As for a cat lady already have the cat he is my lap buddy. I love to see things change in this world where we could all be want we want with out worry or persicution from anybody.

[Suzie S.]

Well, as for me, my wife will make sure I don't go full time! :heehee: Whether I wanted to, or not! But in general, I DO find that my 'desire' to dress has increased a bit, but don't have the time to follow through with that desire. Sort of a catch 22 i guess. :Angry3:

[Jessica Jameson]

As I age I think more and more about what life is about and all that good stuff. I've come to the conclusion that it's all about living and being who you want to be. We only have a relatively short time on this sphere and if we're not being who we want to be and doing what we want to do, then it seems kinda wastefull to me.

[Lanore]

It's nice to be a good looking old lady at my age. Seems all of the pieces fell in to place at all of the right time through my life. I live alone, kind of semi-retired, no family but a lot of great friends. I love every day and what it might bring, never giving thought to why I am like I am. I just know my mother had a little boy who was a little girl on the inside and the litte girl grew in to a woman.

Lanore

[TerriM]

I dont think I would ever want to live full time as a woman. But i definetly know i want to dress more. Hopefully in a few years I will be able to retire and there will be more opportunities to get out. But as far as abandoning my male side, it is something Im not interested in doing. I know my wife will never accept my fem side. She will continue to tolerate it but thats about all.

Yours Terri

[Bobbie Jo]

Oh Violetgray,
That's pretty funny"string beans and cubes of cheese.lolololol
I myself had to stop by when I saw your thread. I too feel like I could go full time the older I get. Now being 55 and living alone gives me all the time in the world to dress,and i'm enjoying every minute of it.There are times that I have to "drab out" sort of speak.But I can see myself in later years and looking forward to being the old lady on the corner...lolol

[Amanda Nicole]

Hi Ladies,

I can second what Suzie S mentioned that the wife will make sure I "don't go full time, whether I wanted to or not." However, for me that definition has to apply to wearing overtly feminine things (dresses, skirts, forms, heels and makeup) in public. At this point, my clothes all come entirely from the womens department, so technically I must be full time already! And as Tess-Leigh said, it is not always noticed by passersby. The wife knows what I'm wearing, and she tolerates it...doing the laundry, etc.

So, am I full time?

IMHO, by my own definition, I don't think so. I see major "trouble in our castle" if ever I come downstairs to go shopping with her wearing a bra with forms under my everyday turtleneck tunic, matching lipstick and nail polish on fingers and toes, a touch of blusher, and peep-toe ballerina flats under my everyday jeans. It's typical "soccer mom apparel," seen everywhere from malls to restaurants to grocery stores to hair salons to the bleachers at after-school soccer games. Very contemporary, feminine, and exquisitely comfortable. And the clothes are precisely the same as what I already wear (with white Keds instead of peep-toes.)

But the "devil is in the details." From the wife's previous adverse reaction to a Halloween round of colorful nail polish (before the edict that I can't dress for Halloween), and to several pair of my feminine sandals (still in my closet but I can't wear them around her), I'd never get past the front door. And the bra, forms and peep-toes would likely spark a war. That's why l just keep my "private wardrobe." It lets me be a feminine "Mandy" when opportunities occur. Whether I choose it to be in dresses and heels, or jeans and skimmers.

Having said that, I concur with what several others have said, that the urge to go full time is definitely increasing as I age. I enjoy my Mandy time more and more each time I dress. Absent spousal, employment and family constraints (which means it likely will never happen), I probably would transition to full time. And yes, I'd spend a good deal of my time in dresses and skirts!

But as Lady Zarabeth mentioned, it would have to be without help from hormones - at 59 it's too late for that. (Maybe like starting to use synthetic motor oil in a 59 year old car??? LOL) At least padding in the right places will help keep up appearances.

Just my $.02 worth...or maybe it's up to a nickel with inflation!

Happy New Year!

Amanda Nicole
"Mandy"

[Chloe Smith]

I was thinking.. are we more likely to go full-time as we get older, say, past retirement age assuming we don't have to work? I really like being both, not ready to abandon being male, but I was thinking.. when I'm older, why not?gender issues aside I fully intend to be one of those weird old people anyway, who yells at her garden dwarves (gnomes are for sissies) and punts them when they talk back. Or maybe a cat-lady. Yeah, I'll be a scary old cat-lady in a high-collared black dress and victorian granny boots and when the trick-or-treaters come by with their bags I'll give them string beans & cheese cubes. The point is, I'm gonna be weird, why not be a weird old lady? Anyone else figure they're gonna dress full time when they retire, or would if you didn't have a significant other to consider?

Hi Girls
I heard a theory once about men CDing as they get older.

The theory goes back to when we were evolving. One of the best things that helps babies survive is grand mothers. Back in the cave man days life was rough. Having a trusted grand mother to take care of the babies allowing the more able bodied mother and father to go out and hunt and gather was an advantage. (It still is) Is it possible men (maybe just some men) are programmed to bring out their feminine (softer and more nurturing side) when they reach the age of grand parent? Just like all good CD theories there is no way to prove it but it made sense to me.

Happy New Year
Chloe

[Joann0830]

Its funny that I find that the older I have become. I feel that my real self is surfacing to the top, as I feel why should I hide it anymore and who cares what anyone thinks, as Life is to short and I want to enjoy what Life I have on this earth as the Real Me and that is Joann. I once said that I do not know if I am crossdressing as a woman or as a man as I feel that as Joann I AM The REAL ME and when I dress as Joe its just a put on for people who I deal or dealt with. I dress everyday in womans black pants and sneakers (Nu Balance) or my keds and a no collar shirt or blouse and I am just me. Joann0830

[Nadia-Maria]

I do think that as some of us get older we do want to go ful time, the urges get stronger with age.

Me too, the urges get stronger with age. If I would wholly abandon myself to those urges, I would probably dress everyday instead of once or two times a week. In that case the need would probably happen someday to go outside enfemme, since having to undress is boring and sad. After going several times outside enfemme, the need would probably happen to *always* go outside enfemme. My male side would be then wholly internalized.

At the moment I am trying to restrain my dressing urges within certain limits, since my SO/GG can't bear the idea of looking at me dressed, and since I agree to do my best to please her.

I believe that we sometimes have to do choices in the life, and as a rule to get something (as for me, keeping a wonderful relation with my current SO) we have to give up something (as for me, my total liberty in my external image).

Hugs

Nadia

[Deanna2]

First of all, what is retired? My last full time employer made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Now I'm busier than I ever used to be and I work all over the world. I work from wherever I happen to be and I don't have have enough hours in the day. End of this month I'll be in France for several weeks and then I'm off to Hong Kong for a few weeks. I actually need another day in the week. I do, however, have enough time to wear a skirt most of the day and I love it.

[Claire3]

im happy to share my life as two people.Sometimes i just dont want 2b claire.Best of both worlds 4 me.:happy:

[Nikki A.]

I think that due to the changes in the world around us it would be easier to be more open and comfortable with our dressing. Of course there are fewer reasons not to dress, kids are grown, career is not a worry. Many of you say that your SO may still hinder you, well at least that won't be an issue with me in that I'm now a widower. That said, if I was to get into another relationship I would be upfront about it and be sure that she is accepting and supportive. I did not hide it with my wife, I told her about it early on and she thought that she could deal with it. Unfortunatly, I progressed further than she was comfortable with and it did become an issue later.
I also agree that I've become more comfortable with myself and am now more willing and eager to be me. Also the internet allows us to see that we are not alone and have each other for support both online and in some cases the real world.
Crazy old lady no just warped old me

[Dawn Marie]

For me, I would be 24/7 right now if it was not for my unaccepting wife. But it seems the older I get the stronger the feeling gets to dress. I'm 53 now and I usually can't wait for the few time that I am able to dress. I'm getting ready to see a therapist and hope that this will change my wifes mind about my CDing, and that see will at least let me do it ,as long as she does not have to see.

[vikki2020]

I have thought about this more than a few times. I'm getting closer to be able to retire, and hope that with kids not at home anymore,my wife will get to an acceptance level that allows me to dress as much as I would want to.Maybe full time,who knows?