man calls cops on me.

[vivianann]

I was at a store enfemme last week where I was buying some food, a man happens to see me and gave me a nasty look, and goes to the other side of the store and calls the police on his cell phone, I did not know he had called the police at that time, I made my purchases then left. several minutes later my phone rings and it is the cashier at the store who happens to be a good friend called to tell me that several police came into the store and searched every square inch of the building, and they told her that they were told that there was a suspicious looking man in a dress impersonating a woman. The cashier told the police that I was her friend and that I come in dressed like a woman often and she did not see anything wrong with what I was doing, then the man came over to where the police was and demanded that they find me and arrest me for impersonating a woman. she said to him to mind his own business, Then the owner of the store was called over, and he told the police that it did not bother him that I come in dressed as a woman, and he said to the police that I have never done anything to cause any problems. The police asked for my ph.# and address because they want to talk to me, but the cashier said she does not know my address (which is true) she told them that she did not know my ph#, which is true also, but she had my # in her call log, she was mad that the jerk called the police on me, and she told me to please be careful. The police did tell the jerk that it was not illegal for a man to wear a dress as long as he does not solicite for sex or any other illegal activities. the police also asked if I was dressed innapropriately, the cashier told them I was dressed very modestly, and that my dress was below the knee and that my collar was to my neck (which is true) and I had a women coat on too. I am very thankful that the cashier and store owner were on my side through all of this, I have since quit dressing in pulic for now, I sure miss going out enfemme, I have been in the store in drab since this incident, and the cashier and the store owner has treated me very nice, and the store owner has told me that he does not have a problem with me coming to his store wearing a dress as long as I dress modestly, I was surprised when he told me that, I was glad he did not tell me to not to wear a dress to his store. I really do not want to talk to the police about me wearing womens clothes, and I am glad my friend would not give them my contact info.

[Joann0830]

I am a Former Police Officer and will tell you that if a situation like that ever happens to you, cooperate and the same way he called the Police on you you have the right to counter charge him with Harassment and is open for a lawsuit for Defamation of character as he was stating that you were doing something illegal, which you were not. Please do Not allow that man to hinder your personel enjoyment with his stupidity. If You ever speak to the Salesperson at the store or the manager again and they bring it up advise them to also tell the man about Laws that protect you as well. The Police Officers under the New Guidelines cannot be prejudicial and must act upon information but also must advise "Soap Box Lawyers " as I call them of the real Laws that protect everyone including you. Take a trip to the Library or on line you would be surprised. My Tri Ess Group as most of them have "rights of a cross dresser" Please realize that in N.Y. California and other states They have Parades for supporting them. Joann:heehee::love:

Idid some research for you www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=17438 - 46k -

[vivianann]

Thanks Joann, i appreciate the info, and you are right about the police defending me, I did not reallize that I could file charges against the man, but then it would make the news, and I am not quite ready for that now. I will start going in public dressed as a woman next week.

[Deborah Jane]

Some people are just so "small minded":Angry3: What was his problem, you weren,t bothering him!!! Why can,t people just "Live and let live". Maybe then the world would be a happier place!!!

[Brianna Lovely]

I'm sorry to hear about your near incident in the store. Of course, this would make me go out dressed every day, giggle.

Anyway, what bothers me, is the statement by the police 'was she dressed "decent"? What are they, the moral police? Do they go around "inspecting" GGs for improper dress? Like, no bras and nipples showing? Too tight shorts on over weight ladies, with their fat rolls hanging over the waist band? Men who dress and look like slobs, dirty clothes and needing a shave and shower?

OK, off the soap box............................

[Eugenie]

In many states in the USA, this is, I think, considered as an act of gender discrimination. It would be considered a diccriminatory attitude in Europe where the Carter of Fundamental Rights prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, age, handicap, religion, gender, sexual orientation.

The police were right in saying that had you dressed provocatively looking really like a hooker, or had you been using a female impersonation for a robbery, then it would have been illegal.

Your experience shows that there are still some stupid intollerant people and whatever the law they will react negatively to differences...

I'm all in support of you.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Joann0830]

Vivian I am glad that the incident has not clouded your mind and that you will continue to do what you want to do about going out in (Fem/Dress) in public. Please remember That any remarks that the simple minded person said is grounds for Harasmment. The question that was put by another member was why did the Police ask how you were dressed,its only to find out if you were soliciting in the store, or if you were a vagrant shop lifting, sorry to say these things have happened and these would have been grounds for a Police action but in that case again he would have to be a complainant. But the Positive Statements by the clerk and Manager corrected any action in regards to the statement made by the discriminative male. If you ever have it happen to you with this male again just remember the date it happened and statements he made to the propritor and clerk at the store is proof and would constitute harsassment (as the Police Records would show the last Call) As far as Discrimination and Defamation of Character those are Civil charges that no police action can be taken but the other is and he does not want to be arrested guaranteed BTW more then likely, he would be warned by the Police of his pending criminal charges, then he would be warned to stop harassing you. I also hope that the other info was informative. Your Friend Joann0830:hugs:

[Shelly Preston]

Vivian

It may be worth telling the store manager and the cashier of these facts about you having the rights to a counter charge

It might be they may just remind the jerk he could end up being arrested for his discriminatory comments

[Eileen]

Vivian you were unfortunate to be in the store at the same time as that jerk. Glad you are still going out.

Eileen

[RobertaFermina]

I find this person's reaction Highly Unusual!

I feel angry and sad that a person is so fearful and judgmental as to do such a thing.

I'm glad that the police are there for such people to call. If he didn't have the cops to call, what might he have done ?

Now that he doesn't have the cops to call, knowing they are not "on his side", what might he do next time he gets worked up over a crossdresser?

It's not a perfectly safe world. It is better to be aware that such ill-informed, and/or unstable characters exist.

I'm glad, Vivienann, that you have such great friends who tipped you off and defended you. I hope you make many more such friends !


:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

vivianne..

actually...think about the other side of the story...u won that battle for sure

i have had 4 encounters with police and they have been 100% cool....repeat...the police are cool and they see soooooo much in their jobs, they probably didnt like that the guy called and wasted their time...

jerks are out there..when you boil it all down, they are the reason some of us can't get comfortable going out..
you are just being yourself and i hope you really remember that

[Niya W]

All I can say thank goodness my state has specific anti transgender laws. Most cops I know would of be irritated at him for calling the cops just cause you were in a dress. It takes them out of service for some thing stupid. Like an idiot that cant cope with a man in a dress

[JoAnnDallas]

There is one charge that you could have had the cops arrest him for. He voilated your civil rights by calling the cops on you. You were doing nothing illegal. Plus he falsey having you charged, so you could have had him arrested for that too. Many states have laws that protect you based on your civil rights. You could have made it so costly for him becuase any lawyer would have told him he has no case.

[Wendi {LI NY}]

Hi Vivian,
I can not beleive this happen to you ? Hon. Boy ,what a jerk . Well thank god you didnt get so upset or scare that you went back in the closet.:o
Well good for you the way you handle it and hooray from the cashier and her Mgr.:happy: hugs,Wendi

[Ruth]

You are right in theory JoAnn but I think it is generally best to avoid litigation unless absolutely necessary. The best resolution in this case would probably have been to remain until the cops came and have them tell the guy in your presence that no laws are being broken. Perhaps he would have a moment of clarity and realise he needs to find something else to get upset about.

[Genifer Teal]

I can't imagine something like that happening here. I hope it is not the norm where you live. So sorry it happened to you. It is probably best you were no longer at the store. You did nothing wrong. Seeing the police couldn't have been a good experience. Don't let this hold you or anyone else back from being who they are. This would never have happened here unless maybe someone was out in their underwear. Even then it might have to be pretty skimpy. :eek: lol

Hugs - Genifer

[Nicole Erin]

It is kind of funny, the state of Colorado is years behind the rest of the nation, yet the police seem non-discriminating and are not jerks.

I have had to deal with the PD in Colorado a few times and every time, things could have gone worse. The one time I was pulled over and en femme, the fact that I was en femme had no bearing on the whole encounter.

I used to live in CO and the place is bad news for GLBT's.
The guy in the store, I wonder if he was part of "Focus on the Family"?
And for that guy - he probably acts like that everywhere he goes.

Now what was that guy expecting? Did he really think the police were going to read you your rights and take you in for wearing a dress? :rolleyes: I mean G.D., I don't know a single police officer who would want to even mess with the extra paperwork...

The only way some CD's could get arrested is if the fashion police were called. :heehee:

[Brianna Lovely]

I can't imagine something like that happening here. I hope it is not the norm where you live.

This would never have happened here unless maybe someone was out in their underwear. Even then it might have to be pretty skimpy. :eek: lol
Hugs - Genifer

NYC, the home of "The Naked Cowboy", giggle

[Sam-antha]

I would never have thought of the harassment or civil rights charges, but now we all know. Thanks to a small minded man.

Now you can get right out there and be happy. You and all the others tht had fears aboutwht could legally happen

~Samm

[Lisa Golightly]

He should have been nicked for wasting police time.

[TxKimberly]

Vivian

A few things I'd like to point out.
Take it from someone that goes out in public a lot - his behavior was highly unusual AND inapprorpiate. Don't let some idiot scare you into hiding.
You live in a wonderful State. Colorado is a great place, with friendly and open minded people - go enjoy your life among them.
You have done nothing wrong. More thank likely the police would have taken a good look at you, maybe try to observe your behavior, maybe ask the store folks about you. All of this would be just to make sure that your atire and behavior were appropriate. Assuming it was, nothing would have been done to you other than that.
Not that you did, but it sort of annoys me when people lump the police or the military into the "Dumb brute? catagory. Nothing could be farther from the truth. These men and women are just like the rest of us - they have mothers, fathers, sister, brothers, children, hopes, and dreams. Of course there are exceptions to any rule, but you CAN count on the majority of them to be decent people that have no desire to make your life any harder than it's got to be. More than likely the only thing they would have done is to educate the idiot that called them that there was nothing illegal with your actions.
You do what your comfortable with, but don't let that fool send you running to the closet if you dont want to be there. :-)

[angelfire]

I used to work retail, and as unfortunate as it is, we once caught a crossdresser shop lifting. She went through the cash and everything, but had hidden a few things in her purse. Of course, none of us even knew she was a CDer, she was pretty passable. I only found out the next day when someone said she went in, but came out without the wig on.

As far as I heard, that was the only CDer we caught for it. There were other CDers who came in every now and then, not frequently, but we never had any problems with any others.

[Hana22]

I had the cops called on me also. I also left before they got there. I was pulled over the next day and questioned in reference to a man driving a vehicle matching my cars description dressed as a girl. I told em it wasn't me and they looked at me funny but let me go. I was wearing a shortish skirt when the cops were called so my guess is that was the illegal act they considered me comitting.

I also worked in retail for a few years and we had some CDers come in. None ever started any trouble. Some people are just idiots.

[Jennifer Brooks]

Never thought something like that could/would ever happen. I'm sure it was nerve racking but since you didn't do anything wrong, to hell with that guy. Thank goodness you had someone there you knew to cover for you.

[serinalynn]

I go out dresssed especially in the warner weather, and have never had an experience like vivianann had. I don't even try to pass either. I just like to wear a plunge bra and a low neck line top.

[AmandaM]

Well (I said, putting my hand on my hip)!

Next time you see him, say hi. He'll probably blow a cork. LOL!

Signed,
The right winging Southern Baptist from San Diego.

[Niya W]

Well (I said, putting my hand on my hip)!

Next time you see him, say hi. He'll probably blow a cork. LOL!

Signed,
The right winging Southern Baptist from San Diego.

Naw if you are going to do it, do it right. Have bible in your hand and start preaching to him how god loves him.

[Angie G]

That guy is a total a^*hole people need to mind there own and leave others be :hugs:
Angie

[Jacqui]

Hi, Vivian, if I was you, I would re-visit the food store enfemme and bring small affordable gifts, one for the cashier and one for the owner.

"What goes around, comes around." They were nice enough to defend you to the PD, I would show them my appreciation. You never know how far that little gesture will go. Don't worry, that guy will get what he deserves too!

(I was gonna suggest that you give the cashier a cigar and the owner a bottle of perfume and if they questioned you, you could say that you got them mixed up:thumbsdn:)

And, ladies, can we keep politics out of this? I have to deal with my wife every day.:hugs:

Thanks,
Jacqui

[vivianann]

Over the many years I have been dealing with crossdressing and going to crossdressing getaways I have found that the majority of the cders were conservatives, we come from all walks of life, religions, conservatives, liberals, all nationalities, rich, or poor. I just come to the conclusion that some peaple are real jerks, and it has nothing to with politics of one stripe or other there are jerks on both sides of the isle.

As for the police, I am not worried, I dont want to have to deal with that situation if I dont have to, I know by driving around enfemme, one day I will be pulled over for a traffic violation, or burned out light, or cracked windshield, I try to keep my vehicles in tip top condition, but a light could burned out any time. I will deal with the police when the time comes, because I know I am not breaking any laws by wearing a dress. I know of other cders who have been pulled over by the police and they were treated professionally by the police. anyway I want to thank you all for your comments, and please do not beat up on us conservatives here in the forum.
:love: Vivian

[1950sclothes]

It isn't illegal for a man to wear a dress or skirt. To clarify this I rang the police and asked what the law was.

The policeman said: "yes you can wear a dress. Wear a clowns outfit, we don't care. Just make sure you're not drunk when you're doing it.'

[BLACK STOCKINGS]

Hmmmmm I wonder how Hooter Girls get to work without being stopped for being dressed inappropriately??? I don't get out dressed to often but all my dresses are above the Knee and most are tight fitting. I have never been stopped, I have been laughed at a few times, had my behind slapped once then he found out I was a guy he turned red as a beat. Been whistled at had a few bad remarks made.

I think I don't go out often because I am afraid that someone might physically hurt me. To many nuts in the world that can't less us be. I am just a CD, married wife is supportive and am not looking for any trouble.

Think I would go out more if there was a club close by.

[battybattybats]

It isn't illegal for a man to wear a dress or skirt. To clarify this I rang the police and asked what the law was.

The policeman said: "yes you can wear a dress. Wear a clowns outfit, we don't care. Just make sure you're not drunk when you're doing it.'

So why is it different when you are drunk?
I mean, sure it's unwise (personally I think getting drunk ever is unwise, while dressed the word unwise maybe far too understated) but at what point do civil rights alter for one inebriated person and not for another?

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

What a jerk the guy is! I don't think it is against any laws for you if you are wearing a short skirt and top, some have suggested that you need to be dressed conservatively and that can not be true. Many woman wear mini skirts and provocative tops to the store and they are not harrased for there attire and I would think that should go the same for any of us. I have worn mini skirts to the mall and have had no fear of being singled out for my attire. I can understand if I was doing something weird or acting inapprorietly but that would be the same for a GG as well. I have been stopped by the police while en femme and just acted naturally and they were nothing but professional with me. We have rights and as long as we don't cause attention to be directed at us by our actions other than normal we should be al;lowed to be who we want to be.

[AmandaM]

The policeman said: "Wear a clowns outfit, we don't care. '


Would that be a female clown outfit? :tongueout

[azalea]

So why is it different when you are drunk?
I mean, sure it's unwise (personally I think getting drunk ever is unwise, while dressed the word unwise maybe far too understated) but at what point do civil rights alter for one inebriated person and not for another?

It's illegal (at least in the US) to be publicly intoxicated.

And there might be some connection between the two... I always dress up when I'm drunk!

[dragdoll]

I had a really embarrassing incident years ago when i was at drugstore en femme. as i was leaving the security alarm at the door went off. the manager made me go into the back room with another employee (female) where they searched all of my belongings. i was very scantily dressed, except for my coat. it turns out the coat i was wearing still had one of those anti-theft security tags inside one of the pockets, and they found it and were like "ok never mind". the manager says to me sarcastically "thank you for the inconveinience" (what a dick). i'm just glad they didn't call the cops on me beforehand.

[vivianann]

I wen out last night enfemme, it felt great, it is quite cold so I dressed very warm as possible, everybody was happy to see Vivian again.

[battybattybats]

It's illegal (at least in the US) to be publicly intoxicated.

And there might be some connection between the two... I always dress up when I'm drunk!

Ah well that is fair enough as it would apply equally to everyone, regardless of apparel.

[Hana22]

The rule I use to determine if an article of clothing is indecent I ask myself does the article cover as much as a bathing suit worn at a public beach? The rule is that no matter what position your body is in you must stay as covered as the bathing suit is. If it passes that test then I say it's game. I have a few skirts that push the limit so I wear cheerleader type panties under it so in case I do show something it won't be distastful or offensive.

[JoAnnDallas]

The problem is some people still think it is against the law for a man to dress as a woman. In many states it used to be against the law, but almost all states have repealed those laws. When I went to HEF2006, we had a forum where the Dallas police officers were they to answer questions about CDing, laws, and the police. They said first it was not against the law, that they are trained to respect the person as the gender they represent as long as that person is respectful to them and they are not breaking any laws. Here in the City of Dallas and Dallas County, it is OK for a CDer to use the Public Ladies Restrooms, as long as they are dressed as a woman and prsenting themselves as a woman. One police officer told us about a GG that came to her and complained that a man was using the ladies room. She waited for the man to come out, she was about to go in the restroom, when the woman that complained told her "there he is". She pointed to a smartly dressed woman. The police office asked for ID and confirmed that the person was a MTF CDer. She then turned to the woman that complained and told her that it was not agianst the law for him to use a public ladies room as long as he is dressed as a woman and is presenting himself as a woman and he was not breaking any laws. The woman that complained got all huffy and walked away. The police officer appoliged to the CDer for the inconvience.

[KandisTX]

I know in San Diego, and in most states, the only time it is illegal for a man to be crossdressed is if he is doing so for the commission of a crime, such as prostitution or robbery. Other than that, they can really only arrest you if you are in violation of some statute or for public indecency. There are of course some Police Officers that just like to be buttheads and harass you because they don't understand US.

Kandis:love:

[CathyKR]

So why is it different when you are drunk? I mean, sure it's unwise (personally I think getting drunk ever is unwise, while dressed the word unwise maybe far too understated) but at what point do civil rights alter for one inebriated person and not for another?
In the UK, if you're drunk in a public place and causing a disturbance (which can be as little as walking erratically), it's what is called being "drunk and disorderly" (what a quaint phrase!), and you can be arrested - whatever you're wearing. If it's at night, you'll probably spend the night in a police cell and be cautioned. Of course, if you were driving while drunk, that's a whole other matter.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

what an AZZHOLE for callin the cops,, i go out in public as a guy in skirts pantyhose and sometimes heels or boots, sure some give me looks if they even notice,,,

a skirt can NEVER be to short:D,,i am always in pantyhose 24/7 and i NEVER wear any panties of any kind,,i make sure im not showing anything im not supposed to,,its called being aware of what ur doing


i got stoped once not to long ago while dressed for not usin my turn signal,( he was lookin for dui),(i dont drink),, he had me get out of the car and watch his pen just to make sure i was safe to drive,, he had some young chicky babe in his front passenger seat, i think he was tryn to impress her,,,what realy burnd my ass is the friggin cops dont use their turn signals and i got a ticket for it,,,LEAD BY EXAMPLE COPPERS,,:rant:

to bad closed minds dont come with closed mouthes


a mind is like a parachute,, it only funtions when its open

[Melinda G]

The policeman said: "yes you can wear a dress. Wear a clowns outfit, we don't care. Just make sure you're not drunk when you're doing it.'
That does it. I'm going out as a female clown! :D

[Suzy Harrison]

I wonder if the same guy would report a woman for wearing a shirt and pants.

I not surprised that the Police were not really interested. In Western Australia the police receive training in the CD/TG lifestyle - and are instructed to act in a sympathetic manner (I've read the training manual).

The only time I've ever been in contact with the police was when they stopped me for speeding. No problems at all.

Out in public, I've walked past them several times - as long as everyone is behaving themselves they don't care.

[noname]

I wonder if the same guy would report a woman for wearing a shirt and pants.

No kidding.