What would you want to do

[susancheerleader]

I dress. But have NEVER (yet) come out to anyone.
If anything should happen to me, and someone came into my house. They will find piles of women’s underwear, many skirts, some women’s jeans, many cheerleader uniforms and some leotards and tights. None, of which any "normal" guy would have. So I have 2 questions.
1) If I land in the hospital for something and a member of my family is asked to get say, underwear. And all they find is women’s. How would I explain that?
2) If I die, (Heaven forbid) and someone has to go through my stuff. How can I explain this to them even though I am gone?
I have thought to leave an envelope to explain things. But that just seems like it isn't enough.
What ideas have those of you (us) in the closet. Have you thought of this? What would you do?

[Stephenie S]

My goodness! Of all the things you could obsess about!

If you're in the hospital you won't be needing any underwear. If you don't want people in your house, hon, keep it locked.

If you're dead it won't matter anyway.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[debbeelee1]

Since my SO and I are in this thing together, it's not as bad for me. If something happens to both of us, the kids are going to find some very strange stuff stashed around the house!
:hiding:

[shirley1]

absolutely brilliant post for me yes if i had a heartattack and ended up in hospital and my friends family had to come round to my flat which they would they would find drawers full of skirts, dresses, tops, knickers, tights, 3 times as many femme clothes as male - i would be outed no 2 ways - would i care you bet your life i would - but at least i'd be out !

if i died dont give a f'....ck who cares - it wouldnt be your problem knowone remembers you for long anyway - we are all just a small imprint on time - maybe i need to remember that a lot more when i worry about what i'm doing !

[susancheerleader]

My goodness! Of all the things you could obsess about!

If you're in the hospital you won't be needing any underwear. If you don't want people in your house, hon, keep it locked.

If you're dead it won't matter anyway.

Lovies,
Stephenie


Not true.

I was in the hospital for a major burn.
The hospital staff asked me to call my family for them to get me clean underwear.
THAT,,,, is what got me thinking about this. (This was long before I started to dress.)

[heidi99]

Before I had ever shared my "secret" with anyone, I had these same thoughts. They are really kind of camoflage for the huge question, "What will happen if I tell someone close to me that I crossdress?" I won't lie to you in that it DOES take a leap of faith. But let me read between the lines of your post a few minutes. First, I gather that there IS someone who would be going to your house from the hospital to get said clothing/underwear. That person cares for you, no? I would wager that, while you are healthy now, if you simply said, "_____, I crossdress", that they would likely reply, "Yeah, and?" While our dressing is a part of us, there are so many other parts that people like (like being helpful, trustworthy, etc.), that we think they'll throw us on the scrap heap just over this tendency.

I used to think that it was this huge bomb that would blow me up if anyone were to find out. It was only a bomb in my mind. My situation was a little odd in that I was going through the death of a marriage (unpredictable felon spouse ;) and in an effort to minimize the damage she could do to me and my family, I came out with the truth to my parents. They handled it without batting an eye. That doesn't mean that I dress around them, but at least the truth is there and I'm not carrying around that huge secret. Their knowing hasn't affected the relationship a bit.

I'm not saying tell everyone, but I'll bet the couple of people who are going to be with you in the hospital will take it in stride, and you'll look back and say man, all that time I was carrying that weight around with me!!!

Hope I haven't gone too far off your topic. And if right now is not the right time, that's cool. Keep talking with the ladies on the forum, and eventually you'll take on that challenge.

Heidi99

[Angie G]

If something happend to the wife and I the kid would find things that would never fit my wife :hugs:
Angie

[susancheerleader]

Hope I haven't gone too far off your topic. And if right now is not the right time, that's cool. Keep talking with the ladies on the forum, and eventually you'll take on that challenge.

Heidi99

Not so far off topic.
BUT......
Yes, if the Hospital had someone come to my house for clothing, it would most likely be either one of my two sisters. Or my mother.
With one exeption of ONE sister, (she busted me once) I can't even begin to belive that the rest would be open to my dressing. Knowing I have no girlfriend or wife. If they founf Fem clothing, I am very sure it would not go well.

[Melinda G]

I've thought about it too. I suppose you could find some wierd stuff in anyones house. But, yeah, I have a house full of fem clothes, and over 30 pairs of shoes. Old girlfriend moved out and never came back for her stuff. :D
Haven't figured out an excuse for all the old polaroids though.:D

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Well, if these issues are important to you, perhaps you could keep a "guy stash" where it could be found in the event of an emergency.

For when you pass, perhaps a dvd/video living will that you could make to explain everything from your perspective. It would answer questions for your loved ones, and give a sense of closure with all information out in the open.

Hope that helps

Zara

[Jamie14]

Good question. Keep a few tidy whities on top? :happy: Having a SO tht knows I guess I would be ok (and fortunate for some of us). As to what i would think should something bad happen to both of us, I guess i have to side with those that say "you're not around anymore to worry about it" Might freak out the folks I suppose but it's not like they can holler at me about it! Even though many of us hide certain items or pics, I really don't lose any sleep over what if. You're gone, what's left to hide? Hell, I know a bunch of you are like- "hide what, i don't hide anything"

Love the avator....dreamy (what if we all could look tht good in a cheerleader's uniform!!!)

[Alex!]

I've thought about this from time to time. I would hate for someone to find out about my secret like that (hospital/death/etc).

The only way out is to purge everything, which I sometimes consider. I can blame it on a girlfriend, but the breast forms would be a bit difficult to explain.

Oh well. I do keep everything in a single box, and it is well-hidden, even though I am single. I do this in an effort to conceal the secret even if I pass on.

[SandyR]

I guess we all think about the "what ifs" but this girl is full throttle for life and enjoying each and every day!

SandyR

[Marvina Martian]

I've thought about this from time to time. I would hate for someone to find out about my secret like that (hospital/death/etc).

The only way out is to purge everything, which I sometimes consider. I can blame it on a girlfriend, but the breast forms would be a bit difficult to explain.

Oh well. I do keep everything in a single box, and it is well-hidden, even though I am single. I do this in an effort to conceal the secret even if I pass on.


Andrea - If you purge please give me your stuff!:D

I suppose that I would just have them go down to the store and pick some new clothes up for me if I were in that situation. Easy.

As for the death, it would be good to leave a nice letter to your family, but beyond that.......

Good question to make us think!

[Stephanie Scott]

My wife once asked me if I wanted to be "underdressed" for my funeral (usually people are way overdressed! Lol). If so, she said she would arrange it. Anyway, I found that notion and gesture curiously sweet. Hopefully, they won't have to exhume me! So since my wife knows, I worry about this "discovery" question a little less (and my young kids know, too -- as does a close female friend of ours). I think I'd be ok within my inner circle -- I trust them to handle it, and honestly, if people end up finding out, who cares? The people most important to me know anyway, so I don't think it would be hurtful.

[LilSissyStevie]

If I go first, my wife will cover my tracks for me, but if we go together then never mind the clothes, wait 'til they open up the "toy" chest!!! God! I'd love to see the look of their faces!:devil::tongueout

[Niya W]

well if I wind up in the hospital good chance I would be in drag. Parents know about niya. If I die bury me in my best dress

[lisa_e_love]

I kind of like the idea of no one knowing about my crossdressing but finding out when I die. I'm only 20 now. I hopefully have a while until I die...but you never know.

Anyway, I think if people find out before I die it will become some dark secret. But if people found out after I die it might become a mystery. People would sit around and think, "Who was 'Lisa'? Why did he become her so often?"

In all, I think all of the weird things that are uncovered about people after they die become more favorable than if they were uncovered before their death. So I'm banking on that.

[Jennifer Brooks]

I dress. But have NEVER (yet) come out to anyone.
If anything should happen to me, and someone came into my house. They will find piles of women’s underwear, many skirts, some women’s jeans, many cheerleader uniforms and some leotards and tights. None, of which any "normal" guy would have. So I have 2 questions.
1) If I land in the hospital for something and a member of my family is asked to get say, underwear. And all they find is women’s. How would I explain that?
2) If I die, (Heaven forbid) and someone has to go through my stuff. How can I explain this to them even though I am gone?
I have thought to leave an envelope to explain things. But that just seems like it isn't enough.
What ideas have those of you (us) in the closet. Have you thought of this? What would you do?

I've thought about stuff like that when I've had on a few garments under my guys clothes and I'm driving long distances. What would happen if I were in an accident and died? Well, there is nothing I could do about it that's for sure. I've been dropping more info to my wife as of late and she knows about my past and present feelings. If I died, I'm sure she'd find my stuff and that would be that. I know she wouldn't tell any of my family members. Even in death, I could trust her about that. If I wasn't dead, she'd kill me for sure.

I'm glad you started this thread. This is one more question that has been brewing in my CD Closet for years.

[trannie T]

Last summer I told my brother that I am a crossdresser. I did this for two reasons, in the event of my demise he won't be surprised when he goes through my stuff and to mess with his mind. I think I was successful on both counts. We haven't spoken since then which is not unusual, I call him every year on his birthday, he calls me about once every five years.

[Melinda G]

Everybodys a little wierd, one way or another. Or they aren't having any fun. I wish I could fit all my stuff in one box. I have four plastic tubs full, plus over 30 pairs of shoes, a couple coats, and a bunch of dresses, garter belts, etc. A lifetime collection. Never purged. Never will. It's the photos and videos that I worry about! There just isn't any good explanation for those.:eek:

[Celeste]

I think it comes down to how you really want to be remembered. If you have a family that could not accept it thats quite a problem.I can hear the discussions now, over Thanksgiving dinner, about all those sexual items found in his home. Just makes me shudder to think of it. I am not ashamed of what I do but I am concerned how others may feel due to their lack of understanding. The only thing I keep locked in a briefcase are my breastforms. I may ask my brother to dispose of it in the event of my death.I'm confident he would do this without opening it as long as he knew there was nothing illegal in it. For all the rest of the clothing and underwear they will just have to assume I had a really kinky girlfriend at one time. I can't help laughing though thinking what might be running through their minds as they pull these things out of the drawers.

[Lisa Golightly]

Many, many, many years ago before anyone close knew I used to worry about the same things. It's what led me to tell my best friend and he became keyholder, and executor to 'Operation masculinise me'. He was charged with the 'get in there and make me a geezer after I croak' task... Which was good of him :) It's not relevent anymore as everyone knows about me, but back then it was good to know he was on standby.

However, if you don't want to tell anyone then you could drop into conversation that you keep a holdall stocked for an emergency and tell everyone where it is... :)

[Carin]

Well, I think there would be little need for explanation. The evidence would speak for itself. Their conclusion would surely be that you are/were a crossdresser.

[Joanne f]

I have thought about this a few times as far as the hospital is concerned even thou my wife knows about me, the problem is that i have no male underwear or nightwear, we have joked about this a few times and the only thing i can think of is that she would have to pick out the plainest things she could find as i am not wearing male undies for anyone :tongueout, i have been to the hospital a few times and i can tell you it was with no male undies :happy:.
Now if i am dead it is not going to make much difference to me but my wife has asked me what i would like to be buried in i said that is up to her as i hope i will not know :straightface:.
but if the hospital worries you do what has been already suggested, put some male stuff in a place that some one can easily find it .


joanne

[Dee Jay]

A friend of mine has a "Porn buddy".
This buddy is the guy who in the event of an accident, goes into my friends house and removes all of his porn, so the family don't find it. My friend has a LOT of porn.

Could you not have a "Stash Buddy". Someone you trust, so that in the event of an accident, he/she could do what needs to be done. This would mean coming out to someone, but telling a close friend is a very liberating experience. Been there, done that. It felt great!

I'm lucky. I don't have a stack of porn, and I do have a very supportive and accepting wife..... Now if we're both in an accident...... :)

DJ

[Deborah Jane]

If something happens to me they,ll think they are in the wrong house i,ve got so much girly stuff. But seriously though the only people who have got access to my place know about my dressing anyway [my ex wife, my daughter and my mum], so i wouldn,t think they would be too shocked about finding things. Just the quantity :heehee:

[pinklilly211]

Hi all,
I had this happen to me. I got burned in a accident at work a few years ago. I was underdressed in a bra and matching panties. I did manage to get the bra and forms off and into my lunch pail. but was still wearing the panties.
I had to tell my Mom about the bra and forms, As she was bringing them to my house and would find them in there anyway. She told me "Don't worry about it" Your father and I have known for years. She also told me the next day that the bra and pantie set was very cute! Haven't heard another word about it since then tho.
My wife is accepting of my dressing,But just can't bring herself to participate at all. So I guess that when I go to that great dressingroom in the sky I shoudn't have to worry much.
Hugs, Lilly

[Brianna1]

Both my brother and sister know that I crossdress plus their partners and so does my ex, a lot of my friends and some of my work colleagues though having moved to another state I now have to start again so to speak...I've found that most people, far from being negative are actually supportive of me. I am a health professional and when a lot of women see my gel nails they think it's great that a man cares about his appearance. I really don't think it matters in the real scheme of things for most people and lets face it, if you got found out in hospital you would probably be enlightening their lives and giving them something different to talk about. I wouldn't worry about it! The only time any negativity has any power is when we give it some. Actually there was a time when I went into hospital with a DVT and one of my friends went home to her place (I was on holiday) to fetch me some non frilly underwear
:heehee:

[Kate Simmons]

Well, the family knows for sure. I suspect many others, including work mates, neighbors (who have seen me BTW) know but it's never discussed. I think many just chalk it off to me being eccentric or something. Anyone who really wants to figure it out can just do the "math" as it were. I also went to the ER once en femme so,I don't think it would be that big of a deal really.:happy:

[Dawn Marie]

If you are that worried about other people fnding out , why not leave a video of yourself expalaining your wardrobe. And do it while dressed. But if you die (Heaven Forbid) I don't think it matters, but at least you left and explination.

[Nicole Erin]

If this is a real concern, might as well just tell them while you are alive and well
My family knows so it wouldn't be an issue

And for anyone in the world, we must all remember that being dead is a huge invasion of privacy.

[allisonrn06]

I don't worry too much about what would happen if I had to go in the hospital, but have worried on occasion about what would happen if I passed away unexpectedly. My kids would probably not think anything of most of my clothes - would probably assume that they were the wife's, but even they would know that the shoes were too big for my wife. Since I would not want my kids to know -or anyone else that we're close to for that matter - she would have to find a way to discretely get rid of them.

[MarciManseau]

I've thought about this from time to time. I would hate for someone to find out about my secret like that (hospital/death/etc).

The only way out is to purge everything, which I sometimes consider. I can blame it on a girlfriend, but the breast forms would be a bit difficult to explain.

Oh well. I do keep everything in a single box, and it is well-hidden, even though I am single. I do this in an effort to conceal the secret even if I pass on.

If you purge, can I have your clothes? :D I love how you dress - it's so me! :heehee:


Hugs, Marci :hugs:

[susancheerleader]

Wow--- So good thoughts on this topic.
It is something I have been thinking about.
As I said, I haven't "come out" to anyone so should someone happen and thy have to come into the house, they are in for a shock.
I am not gay. But that is the common stereotype that people have about crossdressers. This is true with my family and friends too. So it isn't the clothes, it is about my someone seeing them and suddenly thinking I was gay. Something like that would devistate them since they aren't very keen with gays.