Discussing the current poll results : What will it be for you the next time around ?

[Nadia-Maria]

Discussing the current poll results : What will it be for you the next time around ? (Suzy Harrison, DEC 24, 2007)


The premiminary results of the current poll : << What will it be for you the next time around ? >> leads to the definite conclusion the vast majority (at least 80%) of the MTF crossdressers would want to be born female.

However they are as a rule *accepting* to be born male instead, since only a minority of crossdressers are seriously considering the gender transition (and note that the few having done the transition are no more MTF crossdressers).

Moreover that vast majority of would-want-to-be-born-female-but-accepting-to-be-male do consider themselves as only partly male. From the results of the poll « How much feminine do you rate yourself ? » (Nadia-Maria DEC 17 2007), the standard crossdresser rates him/her self, roughly speaking, as about *half-male half-female*.

I suspect from that poll and from what I have read on this forum, that the typical female-part rating (averaging at about 50%) is *increasing* during lifetime from a minimum of maybe « 0-50% feminine » in the youth till a maximum of « 50-100% feminine » several decades later. I believe the maximum is to reach, at age 65-70 yrs or older, a rating as high as 80-100%.

I draw the hypothesis that the vast majority of CD have accepted more or less willingly to live their life as a male - a burden taken like a working career - but wish, as they get older , to come to sort of « retirement » of their male body and life to end up living as female as possible... !??

[MJ]

But if a poll was taken as to how many cd'r here do feel they should have been born a "Girl" you would get a very large percentage , and i feel they are ts in denial .. or at least can cope with switching back and forth but if the question was asked i bet they would prefer to transition ..
you forget dear sister i was just like everyone else here except i got caught and lost everything .. so why not transition i have nothing to lose ..
i feel that many here would do the same .. if it happened to them ... IMHO that is

[kim85]

IMHO anyone who wants to transition will fight to the death trying to do so as soon as they can. Some CD'er become tired of their life and think that becoming the other sex will change that. I had a very good friend where i use to work who lost his best friend. This friend had transitioned after 3 years of living as a women then killed herself because her life was still as bad if not worse than it was before. Anyone who has transitioned will say that its not as easy as most people think.

There are many CD'ers who dress to escape their normally run of the mill life who dont ever want to become a full time female but feel like one from time to time.
Kim
xxx

[Nadia-Maria]

I wish to add another important teaching of Suzy Harrison’s poll is that about or less than 5% of the whole population of crossdressers would want to be born male and live a standard life as male(that is without CD urges).
It’s a strong indication that the standard way of thinking of the mature crossdresser is to want to be as female as possible, since a male life is not appealing at all for him/her !!

Finally I was puzzled by the rather high percentage (near 15%) of the MTF crossdressers, answering they are most happy with their condition of crossdressers.
Obviously I would absolutely not cast any doubt about the sincerity of those answers. Moreover I am absolutely convinced that for many CDers this answer is not only sincere AND still nothing but the exact reflection of reality.

However I can’t help but keep believing that answering that way is applying the principle : Think positive !
As for my own case, I know that I could have been answering that way during most part of my life. Now, that I know more about my crossdressing, I can no more answer that way, but : be born female beyond any doubt !
Obviously I know everybody are different, and my example has absolutely no value for any generalization.

I wrote all that to help thinking about and get your reactions.
Many thanks to all in advance.

Hugs

Nadia

[Teresa Amina]

Of course both threads fall under the spell of Sampling Error- only those who feel most strongly for or against a position take the time to answer. The results of each are therefore hardly a scientific desciption of all cds' thoughts/feelings on the questions.

[MJ]

IMHO anyone who wants to transition will fight to the death trying to do so as soon as they can. Some CD'er become tired of their life and think that becoming the other sex will change that. I had a very good friend where i use to work who lost his best friend. This friend had transitioned after 3 years of living as a women then killed herself because her life was still as bad if not worse than it was before. Anyone who has transitioned will say that its not as easy as most people think.

There are many CD'ers who dress to escape their normally run of the mill life who dont ever want to become a full time female but feel like one from time to time.
Kim
xxx

preach it sister preach it .. That's why i admire all who can remain cross dressers .. that would drive me nuts

[kim85]

preach it sister preach it ..
thats it all bow down :yrtw:

:devil::devil::devil:

[Nadia-Maria]

Of course both threads fall under the spell of Sampling Error- only those who feel most strongly for or against a position take the time to answer. The results of each are therefore hardly a scientific desciption of all cds' thoughts/feelings on the questions.

I strongly agree with you that the results of both polls do not meet any scientific criteria. Moreover I still hope to get your own thoughts/feelings on those questions.

Can you agree that getting more than 100 answers from more than 100 worldwide crossdressers is not absolutely useless in helping to form one's opinion on these matters ?

I am rather new on this forum, but this forum - which has absolutely no scientific legitimacy - has allowed me to understand in only a few weeks what I never did for several decades, quickly resulting in me coming out for first time (to my SO), after several decades of complete secrecy as a lifelong closet CD.

I strongly believe we can value the opinions of our obviously-biased sample of crossdressers, especially on this valuable forum.

ThankYou to all of us, girls !
Hugs

Nadia

[Kate Simmons]

Well Nadia, I answered the way I did because for myself, gender is the least of it and I realize it's not just about me. Regardless of how I would be born or re-born my core self would be in control and would be evident, being a male or female notwithstanding. How I would choose to present myself would be just that--my choice. I realize most folks don't have my perspective on things but this seems totally natural to me, especially since I stopped fighting it. I guess, in part at least, this explains why I get along with both guys and gals equally well and why I'm accepted as such.:happy:

[JackieInPA]

I would rather be a female..if there was a magic pill to make me a girl i would be all over it...I just dont consider surgery making me a girl.

[Teresa Amina]

I think this forum is an excellent place to figure out where one stands on the whole "gender question". Where else can you read the experiences of such a wide variety of viewpoints? Scientific or no it is impressive that so many would like to be born female next time vs so few who are vehemently against the idea. But more "antis" may just simply think reincarnation is a silly idea and not even consider their preference. Accepting the premise, however, and stepping aside from the Logic demanded by our materialistic culture gives a clarity to "who" we are; transcendently female wishing a return to our "proper" (or at least Preferred) form or just male with a Twist?

[Samantha43]

These are some interesting stastistics.

In my situation I am happy that I was born male. I enjoy being a dad and husband and all of the things that go with these. In the future, after the kids are grown and I am retired I can see myself spending much more time exploring my feminine side. For now it is only a hobby that I cherish.

[Deborah Jane]

In my case, if i was born again i would wish to be female. But as i already have a life as a male with all the things that go with it [kids, friends, etc], this time around i can only be a girl part time when i get the chance. Transitioning for me stopped being an option when my kids were born. Anyway i didn,t dress as much then and never even considered it until fairly recently and i wouldn,t now as my kids still need a dad.

[shirley1]

like most i would have preferred given a choice to be born female but i wasnt and to seek changing gender now would be a massive step - and your never going to be genetically female even if you had surgery - i fully admire those of us that feel the meed to do it so great that they go through with it - but i've always wondered how the hell do you ever live a normal life afterwards - everyone has a past childhood youth ect - do you just erase that part of your life out ? yes as i said at the begginning i would have chosen female but my life would have been totally different up to now that much i am certain

[docrobbysherry]

I only voted in this poll, and in several others, because THAT IS THE ONLY WAY U CAN SEE THE POLL RESULTS!

I really don't spend time dwelling on "what if's?". I prefer, "what do I want to do next?"
RS

[Teresa Amina]

genetically female ....a normal life

It's interesting how these two notions keep coming up in the threads. Genetically whatever really is such a relatively recent discovery that maybe we need to ask how we'd feel about it if nothing were known about the genetic basis of physical development. If it all looks right does the microbiology really matter?
So far as a "normal" life goes I could hardly say that what I've led so far is normal. The usual accumulations of obligation and satisfactions that characterise most men my age are absent, and I don't really aspire to those of a woman my age either. Yet I still desire to Be and find my Becoming tremendously satisfying. That the lifestyle will be far different from genetic women hardly matters.

[tamriel]

i would like to stay the same because i feel that i am about 70% female 30% male, but i still think that it would be easier to go through life as a male. so ill go through my public life as a male, but my personal private and fun parts of my life as a female.

[Jan W]

I remember reading Conundrum by Jan Morris when I was very young and very curious regarding our feelings towards our feminine selves.

She stated that she believed ALL men would rather be women and went on to say that her male friends vehemetly denied this.

I have never forgotton this and when I see how easy it is to get most guys into a dress for any reason (footballers putting on a show, guys acting in amatuer productions, professional actors in film and theatre, fancy dress partys, halloween etc) I wonder if Jan is indeed correct.

I fully realise that donning a frock for fancy dress is different from attempting to present as a woman full time but it is a form of TG behaviour to me.

Perhaps the difference is the intensity with which we feel the longing.

If we could poll all the males in an absolutely anonomous situation I wonder if the outcome would not be a lot different to Suzy's poll.

[Dalece]

These are some interesting stastistics.

In my situation I am happy that I was born male. I enjoy being a dad and husband and all of the things that go with these. In the future, after the kids are grown and I am retired I can see myself spending much more time exploring my feminine side. For now it is only a hobby that I cherish.

I agree with samantha At times I wish I was a female and feel that I should have been a female but born a male It is a hobby and would love to be a entertainer I have an oppiturnity to host Drag Queen shows at a bar I hang out It is a place I can go out and feel comfortable. :thumbsup:

[Valeria]

I would rather be a female..if there was a magic pill to make me a girl i would be all over it...I just dont consider surgery making me a girl.
Well of course surgery can't make you a girl! Actually, nothing could make me a "girl" short of the Fountain of Youth. But as for being a woman, that comes from within (based on your subconcious gender identity), ideally combined with real world experience living as a woman.

What surgery can do is give you female anatomy (and, when combined with hormones and permananent hair removal, give you a body that is essentially female). YMMV for the exact results, but the combination of HRT/electrolysis/FFS/GRS can do amazing things - I consistently get read as female, whether I'm in a t-shirt and jean, or a bikini, or nude.


like most i would have preferred given a choice to be born female but i wasnt and to seek changing gender now would be a massive step - and your never going to be genetically female even if you had surgery - i fully admire those of us that feel the meed to do it so great that they go through with it - but i've always wondered how the hell do you ever live a normal life afterwards - everyone has a past childhood youth ect - do you just erase that part of your life out ?
I'm not too concerned with my genetics. Like most people, I've never even been tested to confirm if my chromosomes are XX, XY, or some other combination. Genetics isn't a reliable predictor for anatomic sex anyway, so since there are "females at birth" who have XY chromosomes, I don't see why I should care what my chromosomes are.

As for the past, well, these days some people don't have a lot of it to forget. I've got two close friends that started hormones as 17-year olds, and I've met people that started earlier than that.

I personally started dating lesbian and bisexual girls as a girl when I was a teenager. So my entire romantic history is consistent with my gender. Also, I have few childhood memories, and I had no childhood friends that I had any desire to remain in contact with after I graduated from high school. I only have 2 or 3 photos of me in "boy mode" - and I haven't destroyed any, they just don't exist because I avoided cameras like the plague when presenting that way. I could argue that most of the portions of my life outside of when I've presented as a woman weren't all that important anyway.

For others, they have more of a history, so it's a little more complicated.

But yes, some people do move or change jobs or do whatever it takes to start over and live a normal life. Others openly embrace their past. There is no one right answer.

But I can assure you that it's entirely possible to live an extremely "normal" life afterwards. I have hetero trans friends that have gotten married. I myself have had a baby with my life partner - our first. My life is my baby, my life partner, school, and work - and no one at school or work knows my past, nor do most of my friends. You do what you need to do to be happy and comfortable, and then life goes on...

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I had a very good friend where i use to work who lost his best friend. This friend had transitioned after 3 years of living as a women then killed herself because her life was still as bad if not worse than it was before. Kim
xxx


I have SO experienced nearly this exact same thing (sans the suicide part), but she threatens it about every 3 months or so. She can't get her life in order, keep a job, or land an SO.

Its an awful train-wreck.

and... I like BOTH of me just fine with no desire to transition.

Zara

[kim85]

I have SO experienced nearly this exact same thing (sans the suicide part), but she threatens it about every 3 months or so. She can't get her life in order, keep a job, or land an SO.
Its an awful train-wreck.
and... I like BOTH of me just fine with no desire to transition.
Zara

Its no easy thing to do. This friend of a friend (and reading that seems like oh yerrr a friend really lol) she thought that changing sex would change her make her happy as she had a new life but changing sex doesnt do that its so much more complicated.
I think as people get older and wiser they start to do what they want alot more without worrying about what people say/think or do. There is a lot more free time so yes they probly will start to dress more just because there is time to.
Kim
xxx

[trannie T]

This is much like the thread on winning the lottery. We are speculating on some event that has little likelyhood of occuring. Fantasy is fun but does not really reflect real life.

[Carin]

I have no thoughts on the probability of a next time around. But if such is the case, is it chronological? (Don't answer unless you KNOW).

I am very happy in myself to be who or what I am now. My stress comes from without not within. As I clearly see a progression in western culture's acknowledgement of this status, the next generations will find less stigma and disdain.

So If you have the tickets, I'll take the the same package as I have now, but could you deliver it at a time when there is more encouragement than conflict.