What's next ?

[kimberly ann487]

Hi,
I've only been a member here for a few weeks now but I'm afraid I've caused a big problem. Crossdressing has been a small escape for me lately but it may have pushed me over the edge. Last night my wife found a receipt for some "things" I bought myself. She thinks they are gifts for the "other woman" that doesn't exist. I have a history of that sort of thing but have been good for a few years so I can understand her thinking the worst. She has never forgiven me I'm sure since she has kept a close eye on me for a while. This as one can imagine is not a "simple" coming out. I guess I'm just a screwup. I'm sorry, but thanks for giving this place to unload.:hugs:
:sad:KIM

[Charlotte Cross]

Well Kim, there's going to be no easy way to do this, but considering your past history with other women, and after your wife's shock disappears, you may find that she may feel relief rather than anger.
No matter how you slice it, you're going to have to find a way to tell her.
Tell her you need to talk to her, to explain to her what's happening in your life-and hers.
Find a semi dark room and share a drink of wine. Start out slowly, first convincing her there's not another woman.
The rest is up to you and how you think she might receive you.
The best of luck

[Daintre]

Hi Kim, looks like you are in a bit of a corner. Seems to me the best solution might be to have a quiet talk with her, no distractions, and just come clean. She may be understanding, but you will have been truthful. She may accept your dressing to some degree better than considering the alternative which is another woman.

[kim85]

You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I would say stop all the lies just be honest with her and go from there

Good luck
Kim
xxx

[breanna53]

Hi Kim,
you have a mess, but i guess the best way is come clean. Lies have a habit of backfiring, simiply because you have to remember the lie and tell it the same way all the time, and we usually slip when we lie. The truth, on the other hand you don't have to remeber what you said, it comes out the same. Thats my :2c: worth . I wish you all the luck :hugs:

[Mitch23]

I agree with the others - you're in a position now where the only option seems to be to come clean. its gonna hurt the alternatives are lies and deceit. good luck

mitch

[Nicolette01]

Seems like a tough situation to be faced with, but you know your wife better than anyone, follow your feelings. I would think that as long as she doesn't consider your crossdressing as taking attention away from her, it is the better alternative than having her suspect there is another woman. I really hate to give any advice, all I can do is relate my viewpoint and hope that it is helpful. You're not a screw-up, things happen to all of us in one form or another.Good Luck.

[Deborah Jane]

:iagree: Like the others said, come clean. Look at the alternative, and you never know, she may be accepting of c/ding anyway.

[trannie T]

Time to 'fess up.' She may be relieved to learn that the other woman is you.

[androgyne]

From what you describe, I honestly don't see your relationship surviving or growing much. Perhaps you should consider getting out, because it sounds to me like you will be much happier in the long run.

[Celeste]

Kim-You can't leave her thinking theres someone else.Wouldn't you be hurt if she cheated on you. If she started divorce proceedings on the grounds of infidelity[behind your back] wouldn't that be a mess. Do come clean.There are plenty of post here on how other members have broken the news slowly and gently.How about starting with some credible documentation of other couples and their happy marriages with CDing. Just because something is out of the norm does not mean that it is wrong.

If she can't accept it, you may be happier alone without your emotions being manipulated also you will have the peace of mind in knowing you were not selfish ,but were honest.

[Angie G]

A few things left here and there my wife was afraid there was another woman when my dressing came out she was relieved there was no other woman. Maybe noe is a good time to come out to her I don't thimk it could hurt much hun :hugs:
Angie

[kimberly ann487]

Thanks for all the good advice. Bless all of you.

[docrobbysherry]

My ex found a bra in our bedroom and blew up! I explained it was mine, and that I had played around a little with woman's clothes. It was a big relief for her. This was many years before my dressing reached the " Sherry" stage it is at now. We divorced, but it nothing to do with my dressing. Which accelerated AFTER we separated.
Tell her the truth, but maybe with a sugar coating, if u don't want her to know the degree of your dressing. U can judge that best yourself.
RS