Having to Out Myself

[Dawn Marie]

I have mentioned before at my introduction that my SO does not approve of my CDing.She knows I have done it in the past but does not know I still do it. Lately she has been bugging me as to what is wrong, I keep telling her nothing is wrong. But last night she got really mad and said she knows something is wrong and I better tell her.
Well it looks like tonight I am going to have to tell her that I still do it, but I'm not sure to what degree to tell her. As I said before I probably have more clothes than she does and I'm not sure to telling her that. Anyone has any suggestions as to how to tell her.
She has also told me before that if she finds any femmine things around the house that she would call her lawyer and file for divorce. I'm not sure if she really meant it, but that is probably why I have not told her sooner, that and she has a violent temper. Please Help.

[kim85]

Hi dawn id say to look at the partners link in shellys signature. Jut be honest and allow her to ask questions. Prepare yourself for a lot of tears and maybe some shouting

Good luck
Kim
xxx

[Melinda G]

Wish I could help, but I don't see a happy ending here. Protect yourself. Start a secret bank account. This is not going to end well. On the other hand, do you want to spend the rest of your life with a wife who has a violent temper, always suspecting something, and controlling your life?

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Dawn

Good luck when you tell her :hugs:

Link below that Kim Mentioned

[vivianann]

I agree with melinda, I was married to a violent tempered woman, I will not do that again. Any way do not tell her that you have any or more clothes than she does, that will send her over the edge, what you need to do is tell her that you are depressed and the only way to bring you out of that is to aloow you to express your femme side, she might get upset still but if you will have a heart to heart talk about your feelings and what is troubleing you, she needs to know how you are feeling emotionally, and if she loves you she may show some compassion, but if she does not show any compassion then you are going to have to make some descisions in you life to help you cope with the desire to crossdress, most of all you need to be honest about the fact that you need to express your femme side, she needs to know that you are not happy, be prepared for the worst, but do not allow her to bully you around, that is not healthy either. I stood up to my wife after too many years of her bullying me around, yes in my situation things blew up and the marriage ended, but I have no regrets, I am much happier now and I get to dress whenever I want (everyday), and also I do not have to take the verbal and phisical abuse any more. :hugs: Vivianann

[becky t]

Hi Dawn,
good luck with everything, sure it will all come good in the end. I have only just gone through the same problem (on christmas day of all times!) but was lucky enough to have an understanding partner, i still have a long way to go but we have to hope. The most important thing i have learned over the last few days is--be honest with yourself--know who you are--accept that it isnt going to go away untill you deal with it...

very best wishes and good luck

Becky T

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

It does not look ggod for the "home Team" with this situation. Even if she is only threatening the lawyer she surely will not be happy with anything you tell her. With that in mind I would tell her everything and if you want to remain married try to see if there is a compramise.
Good luck

[serinalynn]

Dawn, when my wife and I married in March of 1981 she never bargained for a husband that feels the need to wear womens clothing. For the first 9 years of our marriage i didn't crossdress at all. Starting in early 1990 I got the urge to do it again, after not crossdressing at all for over 20 years.
My wife started asking about it in the mid '90s and even though I continued to do it I was always honest with her about my feeling about wearing womens clothing. she asked a lot of questions to me and and spoke discretely about my feeling to her mother. She stood by me and on a couple of occasions actually stated that I looked good in the womens clothing I was wearing.
Over the years my wife has become somewhat tollerent of my dressing. She knows that I won't embarress her or us when we are out in public. I wear a bra, panty, nylons, womens pants, and womens tops when we are out together in public always more to the androginous side.
Be honest with your wife, GF, or SO,let her ask all the questions, then provide a solid honest answer to each one and what for her decision.

[MJ]

This will not be easy for you. But please don't lie to her .. she will be very mad and upset but she has a right to know .. you must accept that it may not go well for you .. just make sure you have money and some were to go in-case things turn ugly you need to have a plan ready just in case ... your safety in number one .. have information ready for her to read but you must have a safe out ...

OK i know this sounds stupid but when i was ask to leave all i had was my credit card but i was safe and you should be ready for anything as well ..
i wish you well .. here have some hugs :hugs:

[Nadia-Maria]

At first glance, things seem to going bad, with the perspective of a probable divorce.
But I wonder whether at the moment your wife might want especially to impress you in order to obtain you to stop CD, rather than the divorce.

A good strategy for a wife who wants divorce (and wants to win it) is to prepare things secretly and take you by surprise. Then, since she has already mentionned the possibility of a divorce, her strategy is possibly not the worst for you...

When coming out to her, I recommend you of course not to lie, and especially not to tell many things. Try to say as little as possible. Understate. Be cautious. Don't give proofs to her. You are in a dangerous position, faced to a woman who doesn't want the best for you .

In the long term, you have to decide what you may want. A divorce can be a terrific thing (years ago it has been terrible for me with harmful consequences). However, if it is the right thing to do, the sooner the better.
(Today my only regret is not to have divorced earlier. I am so much released, now).

[Ruth]

Although I have been married for a long time, I don't know much about anybody's marriage except my own. So I don't really want to give advice. However, two things strike me: your CDing is not negotiable, and your wife will not tolerate it (she says). This puts you on collision course.
I would also say as a long time CDer that you will not be healthy or happy if you suppress your CDing in order to satisfy your wife.

[Dawn Marie]

Well last night we talked or I should say she talked. She wanted to know why I did it and why I broke my promise to her that I would not do it anymore. I tried to answer as best I could but that did not seem to satisfiy her. She would not budge on any kind of comprimise: it was either quit the CDing or she was going to file for divorce. Not much of a choice. I would like to see my children grow up and if we divorced over this I'm sure she would find a way to where I would not be able to see my kids.
The only good thing that came out of this is that she is ok for me to see a therapist ( she thinks CDing is curable),so I will try to find one that is familiar with gender dysphoria or other crossdressing and go from there.
She did ask to see what I had been wearing and I gave her a small bag that had some of my lingerie in it. She then proceeded to cut every one of them into little pieces. Lucky for me I knew something like this would happen that is why I only showed her a small bag of my stuff. If she ever found about all the dress, skirts,blousees and other lingerie I had She would probably just file for divorce or something worse.

So any comments or advice anyone could give me would be very much appreciated, because I just do not know what to do next.

[Mollyanne]

Hi, reading your update about your situation it occurred to me that your wife is using the divorce card as a hammer. The term"you had better stop or I'll get a divorce" is an excuse for something else that is bothering her. I have heard this statement too many times not to think there is something else here. Only you know that answer and only you have the solution.
As far as finding and going to a gender therapist for "the cure", the only "cure" here is compassion, acceptance, tolerance and compromise.
I can feel your pain and despair here and hope that everything works out for you.

:love: Mollyanne

[Shelly67]

For now I,do nothin cept on a money side of things . Just go about youre everyday life , but be alert , there may be a deeper reason for this troublesome time .I,m sorry , forgive me - I,ll be blunt - for someone to use all of youre assests , be it feelings , close family , children , or the excuse that you need therapy or a divorce will occur is nothing short of bullying and emotional blackmail . How on earth could you wish to be you fully developed as a person and enjoying life with this haressment ? I hate to say it have you ever thought , is she using this as an excuse for something she may be hiding from you ? Has she a guilty secret ?? This is a stern bullying game ...and its not healthy for either of you - or the children.

I fear you must prepare yourself for divorce , or at least conflict . However if it does go to the end , well after conflict theres peace , at least you tried .

The idea of putting money aside is pertinent - open a private account just in case .
There is however one token of advice that you may wish to pass on .......
If lawyers are to be used , then I,m afraid they,ll be the only winners in the long run .........but then they always are .........

I wish you all the luck in the world , but remember - you were honest ....and honesty is our only excuse- no one can take that away from you ...

Good luck

[Angie G]

When I think of how my wife is OK with my dressing I feel sorry for my sisters who don;t have that Good luck hun :hugs:
Angie

[JenniferR771]

Not so different from my own situation. If wife is bully, intolerant and refuses to discuss or compromise--it is perfectly natural to hide a few things (like dresses). You know this--she knows this.

My wife knows, but has never searched my secret storage. i keep a few things in the house, but she ignores my stuff until she found a few of my wigs. She deleted a few of my pictures and threatens to thow out some of my stuff--but so far nothing .

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

have her wacked:tongueout,,,JK,,, WOW ur SO sure does have some sort of HUGE stick up her ass, u need to document how it will NOT be good for ur children to be living full time with her,,, im guessing ur children dont know about ur cding?,,
crossdressing is what makes you you,
would she rather have you drunk and abusive?? rather than warm and understanding?? honestly some women dont know when they have it so good,, give them the world and they want the universe,,i think she has got some serious past issues with something or someone to be this mean..

"to bad closed minds dont come with closed mouths"

its better to be alone and happy than to be together and miserable

cut her to the chase and file first and fight for custody,,,she will only put her own foot in her mouth if she trys to deal the cd card as im sure ur children dont know and that will be some leverage on ur part as she cant say" well hes gona parade around in front of them in just his bra and panties"

there is NO cure for crossdressing so dont even try:D

(this entire posting has been ALL my:2c:)


GOOD LUCK:hugs:

[Melinda G]

If she can leave you that easily, then there probably isn't that much there in the first place. I would certainly hate for some woman to grudgingly keep me around, as a bread winner, as long as I did as I was told. You only live once.

[Daintre]

Dawn, I wish I could comment and give you some advice, however being divorced, I feel all I can offer is that you have to realize that divorce may happen. I think the general consensus here is that dressing is not something that you can turn on or off, it is a part of you. Going to a therapist will only prolong a bad situation, better to sit down with your wife and put your cards on the table, let her know that you will not accept her bullying, I have always thought that honest communication between a husband and wife is essential. Divorce is never the first option, saying that, it is not the worse thing that can happen either.

[Ruth]

When I read your comment about how she took your clothes and cut them into little pieces, I got a very bad feeling. I do not feel your relationship has much future unless she has a profound change of heart about this. And I agree with the others about a "cure" for CDing. No such thing.

[Michelle-NC]

Dawn. I feel so bad for you right now. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have an SO who is so understanding and encouraging. I agree with the majority here, that this will not turn out good. There is no way to turn the CDing off, as I have tried several times, but have finally realized it is who I am. Hopefully your wife will come around, and realize that the well being of the kids is the most important, and regardless of what you do, you are the father, and an important part of their lives. Hopefully everything will work out for you, but I also think everything needs to be laid out on the table.

[dianwb262]

Dawn

I really feel for you. I don't know how my wife of 27 years would react if i told her. I fear she would tell our 18 year old daughter which I could not live with her knowing. I have been seeing a therapist for the last 2 months for a different reason. I didn't know how she would react but I finally told her. It was a very emotional time for me since I never told anyone before, so telling my wife would be difficult. My therapist handle it well (I think), she thinks i should tell my wife. I have only seen her once since I told her and we didnt' go in much detail. She knows it's tough for me to discuss so she isn't pushing me, besides I have enough to keep her busy on other things to fill up our hour. I am sure we will discuss it more in the future. I envy those of you who have supportive wives, I no it must be hard on them.

Good luck Dawn, hope all works out for you.

[Genifer Teal]

"to bad closed minds dont come with closed mouths"

its better to be alone and happy than to be together and miserable

cut her to the chase and file first and fight for custody,,,she will only put her own foot in her mouth if she trys to deal the cd card as im sure ur children dont know and that will be some leverage on ur part as she cant say" well hes gona parade around in front of them in just his bra and panties"

there is NO cure for crossdressing so dont even try:D


GOOD LUCK:hugs:


My thoughts are similar. This appears to be a battle for power in your relationship. Love is a difficult game to play - especially when it's for keeps. Advice is far easier to dish out than to act upon.

If I was in your situation I'd start preparing for the worst and find ways to protect your assets - if at all possible. Talk to people who have been through divorce and consult with lawyers to learn all you can do.

If you can, save the pieces of your garments she cut up as eveidence. This is violent and immature behavior. You should feel threatened by why she might do next. Do you feel safe living in the same house anymore? What will she cut up next? You? Maybe just part of you? Perhaps she'd never do that, but how can you be sure?

I'd consider the best way to out myself. Damage control is easier if you tell everyone about your CDing. Like the alcoholic seeking help, at least there is hope. You are seeking therapy. You are trying to do the right thing. All she did is show no compassion for your problem and threaten you - physicaly as well as with divorce.

If divorce becomes imminent, it is far better to out yourself BEFOREHAND. If it means loosing a job or decreasing you rmonetary income you want that to happen before they split your assets and decide on child support issures. You'd be far worse off to loose your job afterwards and have to pay more child support. I've heard of marriages going south due to a transitioning spouse. They were on the fast track to spend as much as possible on surgeries before the divoce to diminish assets. They even dipped into retirement monies.


Some random thoughts. What will she tell the kids? I had to divoce your father because I didn't like the clothes he wore? If you told her you had lung cancer from smoking would she blame you for that? Don't you die of cancer or I'll divorce you. If she believes this can be cured then she considers it a sickness. Why should it be different than any other sickness? What happened to that line "in sickness and in health"? Did you write your own vows and she left that out?


Marriage counciling may be a good idea for both of you. Wait till after you start your gender counciling. Maybe you could work in the possibility that your relationship is a contributing factor and she should join the counciling sessions or maybe both of you should also see a marriage counselor. If she is not willing, that is more evidence in your court. Unfortunately you have to think like this.


I can only wish you the best. Sorry this seems so depressing. Consider what your relationship is like now. Is it worth saving? On the bright side, most peoples initial reactions are far worse. Given time she may come around a little.

Gen

[MJ]

she will never come around .. get out and start over .. she can't stop you from seeing your children , i am sorry but that is not a loving relationship ...it's her way or the highway..

[jaina]

but that is probably why I have not told her sooner, that and she has a violent temper. Please Help.

She has a violent temper. Leave her. Leave her today, get out and NEVER come back. Get to a lawyer before she does.

[Melinda G]

She did ask to see what I had been wearing and I gave her a small bag that had some of my lingerie in it. She then proceeded to cut every one of them into little pieces.
And you want to stay with this woman? Explain please!

[kim85]

Love is blind. You hear stories of wifes or husbands who get beat everyday some stay out of fear others stay out of love. Its a very difficult path and its never easy i hope everything works out for you
Kim
xxx

[Carin]

The only good thing that came out of this is that she is ok for me to see a therapist ( she thinks CDing is curable),so I will try to find one that is familiar with gender dysphoria or other crossdressing and go from there.

Dawn I really do feel for you. She has you by the short hairs. As someone said, this seems more about power and control, and not about a relationship.

I think that you need to even the playing field a bit. Start with talking to your children, with the purpose of protecting them so that they do not become pawns in the relationship. We have told all of our children. Search for my older posts or pm me if you need suggestions on this.

Second, insist that you both see a therapist. This is a relationship not a boxing ring. If you can not relate to one another then you are all in danger.

Hang in there.
:hugs:

[Nicole Erin]

She has a violent temper. Leave her. Leave her today, get out and NEVER come back. Get to a lawyer before she does.

Hell yeah!

And if she is the stalking type who would try to come to your new home and cause problems - buy some physical protection. If you need to set up surveillance cameras - so be it. I think they are like $25 each at walmart for the lower end ones. They run thru RCA TV cables. Yes I know we had them set up in our old apt cause of some problems [nothing to do with family or ex's.

Unless you REALLY adore this P.O.S. who treats you that way, ditch her.
Your sanity is not worth her.

What's it gonna take for you to fight back?

[trannie T]

Talk to your therapist, you may be able to get some marriage counseling and salvage the marriage. Most every community has an attorney that is far better than the others in divorce settlements, find out who it is and retain him/her, it may be your best investment.

[Melanie R]

Dawn Marie,

You need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. I can put you in contact with a TG attorney in Houston who can help you and also another crossdresser in Houston who has gone through what you are facing and can give you advice on what to do and not do.

Melanie - also from Houston

[vivianann]

The courts do not care if you crossdress as long as you do not do anything inappropriate while you are crossdressed, my ex tried using the crossdressing against me in court, and the guardian ad litem and the judge said that crossdressing was not an issue, that sure pissed off the hag. I stand by my advise earlier in the thread, and I am glad you did not show her all your clothes, very smart. I have another peice of advise you file first for divorce so you can make all the stipulations first, and when you make the stipulations you go for broke so when the time comes to hammer out the details between the attorneys and the judge you will get most of the stipulations you demand.
Do not put up with her bullying, that is total bulls=== when a spouse bullies the one they are supposed to love, that is not a marriage it is borderline slavery, and total abuse. Get the upper hand by fileing first or you might lose.:hugs: Vivian

[Kelsy]

The best advise I could give is to weigh your options. Divorce is messy and painful. The best thing to do is get to a good therapist and lawyer they will strengthen your hand even if divorce is the out come. Decide for yourself wether you can live without your children because you can bet your wife will use this to destroy their image of you. If you can put aside your dressing untill your children are mature enough to understand it may be worthwhile. I'm sorry you find yourself in this difficult situation. take care:(

Kelsy

[Raychel]

There has been alot of good advise here. But no one actually know what your life is like but you. You have to make the final decision and then deal with the outcome.

I can tell you that I was dealing with a very similar violent temper. There was a long time that life was a living hell. But I could not stand to loose my kids, and there were times that I had fun with this woman. I stayed for my own sake. So I would not loose my kids.

Well after some medical issues and the aging process, that monthly monster does not come around anymore. Well maybe once in the last year. I find that there is a great person inside there. A little short fused sometimes. But very mild flareups.

Sure there are times that life is not the best. But overall we got thru it and are now happy together.

So think carefully about your actions. Only you will know what is right for you

[Dawn Marie]

Thank you all so much for the advice and words of encouragement. My situation has not changed, thou she did not lose her temper when we talked about it, but she just does not understand why I need to dress. She still thinks it is an illness or something happen back when I was young to cause me to do this.
I tried to tell her that nothing happened back when I was young, I just liked the clothes and that I tended to be more comfortable with girls and doing girl things, and nothing has changed since then.
I still plan to see a therapist soon and maybe she can give me some advice or even get my wife involved with the therapy. If it was just my wife and me I would have divorce a long time ago but I have two children, a girl 8 and a boy 6, and I don't think I could take losing out on their growing up. I've been married twice before and they both left me for the same reason(suposedlly) because of crossdressing, but I know it was more than that. I found out later that they both had someone on the side.
My second marriage I had a son with her. He is 18 now and I have not seen him in over 8 years and before that it was only maybe twice a year. I don't want that to happen with this marriage.
So I will go to therapy and see what happens, and in the meantime I will continue to work on my wife and still do it in secret. I will still try to open up more to her but without revealing the extent of my wardrobe.
Again I appreciate all of your comment,advice and suggestions. If you only knew how glad I am to have such good friends and sisters who listen to my problems. I do not know what I would do without all of you. You are and inspiration to me as well as a shoulder to lean on when need. There have been times when I just want to breakdown and cry but knowing I have all of you to help me through this is a great comfort.
I will keep all of you informed of how things are going and again THANKS TO ALL OF YOU. :love:
DAWN MARIE

[Sam-antha]

Dawn, are you saying in here that the children are the only reason for you staying with your wife ? Who, from your remark in post one, could have been looking for an excuse for to annoy/divorce (on what grounds.... finding women's underwear in your house) you ? A marriage counsellor could be of as much help as a therapist.... Basically it seems to be you by yourself, or you, living for a while, together with your wife, without her love it seems, but with your children.

I dunno, this is not advice in any way it is just me looking in and wondering. Never been here before and I am not too sure whether I will leave the post in place if it goes in. Wondering in public yes, but a pm is irretrievable and this post can get lost quick, perhaps before you read it.

[KandisTX]

Dawn Marie,

I do hope that you were/are able to contact the counselor I forwarded you in PM. Just remember that counseling only works if BOTH parties are involved. I know from what you say and my own experiences in similar situations (have not seen my son from first marriage in 17 years) with my ex-wives, that there is hope out there for us. My PM box is always open for you.

Kandis:love:

[Dawn Marie]

Dawn, are you saying in here that the children are the only reason for you staying with your wife ? Who, from your remark in post one, could have been looking for an excuse for to annoy/divorce (on what grounds.... finding women's underwear in your house) you ? A marriage counsellor could be of as much help as a therapist.... Basically it seems to be you by yourself, or you, living for a while, together with your wife, without her love it seems, but with your children.

I dunno, this is not advice in any way it is just me looking in and wondering. Never been here before and I am not too sure whether I will leave the post in place if it goes in. Wondering in public yes, but a pm is irretrievable and this post can get lost quick, perhaps before you read it.

Samm,
Don't get me wrong I love my wife, but there are times when she just makes me want to leave. I'm just hoping that she will come around and at least let me do my thing and she doesn't have to know about it. And yes she did find some underwear in the dryer that I had forgotten, and she cut those up too. She loves me too but she is stuborn and hardheaded and just feels that Cding is a disease or is caused by something that happend in my past.

[Sam-antha]

I did not quite get you wrong... not completely... now I say, just get the pair of you talking to someone who knows just what cd is about. That might be difficult tho, I mean finding one who really knows.

[RobertaFermina]

If you know she won't take it well, and will attack you in Divorce Court....consider getting some personal Counseling on your own, and legal advice on your own BEFORE spilling the beans.

You may do better to not tell her, and if it is REALLY HOPELESS, divorce her for irreconcilable differences without giving her any ammunition to make both your lives (and any children's) more miserable.

If there is any cause for Hope, tell her, if not, don't bother. You might not become a "Winner", but you can avoid becoming a big "Loser."

If there are kids....well, don't listen to me....that is just too complicated and loaded a situation to counsel.

:rose: Let's call it a Draw! :rose:

[tricia_uktv]

Dawn,

Sorry, I'm late coming to this but I've just been on holiday with my kids and wouldn't have missed it for the world. The only way you can do the both (cd'ing and family) is to do the cd'ing away from your town. Discuss that with your partner and, do what she says and do counselling. I suspect you wish to stay for your kids sake - so do everything you can to have the best of both worlds,

Wish you all the luck in the world,

[Sally-Ann]

I've just read out your post to my wife, who sends a huge cuddle and we both wish there was more we could do to help. :hugs:

[cj]

I'm really sorry for you situtation. No one can tell you what to do... only your own heart can do that. Listen to it and don't look back.

Good luck.

CJ

[AmandaM]

If the kids are really important to see all the time, keep it under wraps, at least until the kids hit high school. At that point, they'll understand what is going on if mom tries to keep them away from you. If they love you, they won't put up with it.

[AmandaM]

Samm,
Don't get me wrong I love my wife, but there are times when she just makes me want to leave. I'm just hoping that she will come around and at least let me do my thing and she doesn't have to know about it. And yes she did find some underwear in the dryer that I had forgotten, and she cut those up too. She loves me too but she is stuborn and hardheaded and just feels that Cding is a disease or is caused by something that happend in my past.

Ok, counseling may help you, but it'll definitely help her. You could tell her the stuff the counselor tells you, like it's not your fault, indulging it keeps you from being too stressed out, etc. She may loosen. At least try it, very slowly, over time. If she doesn't come around later, at least your kids are older.

[Carly D.]

I think that the only thing to say is this won't go away.. that crossdressing is part of who you are.. tell her to throw away all your crossdressing clothes and she will see a brand new you.. that quiet depressed person will become distraught.. I can't imagine losing all my crossdressing clothes.. that would not only suck to the extreme, but would cause some sort of bad reaction I'm sure of it...

[Margot]

What a mess! I would not have told her. Her reaction was predictable from your first post on this subject. She needs to understand this is not something you can cure and supressing it can lead to nervous breakdown or worse. When you go to a therapist try to find a way to have your wife talk to him about gender dysphoria if that's what it is and not just a fetish. Be confident in you therapist though.
I went to one 30 yrs ago ,then went with my ex wife. He told her that this is the way I want to live and that she would have to develop a lesbian relationship with me. Bye bye marriage.
So with my second wife I told her while we dated and she has a thirst for knowledge and read up on it. She now understands and excepts and supports my dressing almost full time. And no we never have had or will have a lesbian relationship!!!
Hugs
Margot

[SouthernLady]

she will never come around .. get out and start over .. she can't stop you from seeing your children , i am sorry but that is not a loving relationship ...it's her way or the highway..

OMG, please tell me that you didn't marry my ex wife! I swear, so many terrible memories surfaced reading your situation. She sliced my panties, bras, pantyhose, everything to shreads too!!

I agree with MJ...prepare yourself. She can't keep your children away from you. Get good counsel and make sure you tell your attorney that you are a crossdresser because if this heads to where I think it's going, it will come out in the depositions (you don't want your atty surprised).

Remember, it's not against the law to be a Crossdresser. She can only use it to embarrass you. It's up to you and your attorney to not let her use it against you. I went through it all, and not only survived what could have been a nightmare, but flourished! Now I am remarried and to wonderful, understanding and supportive lady. Fairytales can come true.

[Dawn Marie]

Well, today my wife was in my workshop looking for something and came across my large makeup kit and a three new pair of panties I just bought. Again she confronted me with the find and asked if this was all, I lied and said yes. Then she proceeded to cut up the panties and dump out all of my makeup and even break the brushes and pour out the nail polish I had.
I just don't know what to do next, I don't want a divorce and that is what she said she would do If I continue. I love her and the kids and I try to tell her that Dawn is part of who I am and that it is not that easy to just give her up. But she still thinks there must be something wrong with me mentally.
I have a appointment with a therapist next week and hope that she may be able to tell me what to do or at least help me to better explain CDing to my wife. My wife just does not seem to want to compromise on this. So what I am going to try is wait to talk to the therapist get her imput and put a temporary hold on Dawn. If she ever found the true amout of clothes that I have I think she would just divorce me on the spot or force me to tell her were they are and she would then proceed to cut them up too. Like that would stop me from dressing.
Any sugesstion, advice or comments will be very much appreciated. Right now I'm just confused,worried, and depressed.
XOXOX Dawn Marie

[jaina]

Any sugesstion, advice or comments will be very much appreciated. Right now I'm just confused,worried, and depressed.
XOXOX Dawn Marie

You were given excellent advice last month, but you chose to ignore it. That is the reason your situation remains unchanged.