just bin out !

[shirley1]

i tell you what for those of you who are not used of goin out dressed - i just tried it again - got to the bottom of my rd and panick set in - some guys comin the other way - turned back home - and you cant hurry in heels ! scary i want to do it again and will next time with other people - its too much for me alone i feel totally paranoid -

[Angie G]

Relax hun it will get better :hugs:
Angie

[vivianann]

sounds like me in the early days of going out in public, you will want to do it again, and again and each time you will get braver. I now go out enfemme all the time.

[Chari]

Hi Shirley, Congrads on your first step out the door! As your confidence builds, it does become easier with each new adventure! Most people are too involved in their own lives to notice anyone else. Enjoy stepping out.

Chari

[Kaitlyn Michele]

shirley..very honest post!! i know the feeling...

its simple tho..if you want to go out...go out..if not...well you get the picture...

the thing about going out is that you will be seen, people will know and you'll have to deal with it..its inevitable...

here's the thing you find out tho, its no big deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

most people don't care...i had my best friend tell me yesterday she was at macy's shopping in her skirt and blouse...very nice outfit..she's 55 yrs old.. a guys says HOLY CRAP!! that's a guy!! and points at her..

what to do?? panic?? well my pal just smiled back and the guy says to her..."That is so cool!!, you look great!!!" and then goes bye bye.. so how about that??

don't get me wrong. be alert, there are hateful people out there but you are just being you and i encourage you to explore it to the fullest!!

have fun!
michele

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah sometimes the occasional snide remark will be a set back for your confidence, but don't forget - ^There will always be some a-hole with something to say about everything and everybody.

EVen tho you chickened out :heehee:, you HAVE taken the most important step. You have left the house as Shirley.

Maybe on your next outing, do something small like stop by a quiet store and buy something. You know, small steps.

Most important - don't let the occasional a-holes discourage you.

[Michelle 51]

at least you tried girl.Thats more then i,ve aside from my yard so congrats to you girl justabit

[Billijo49504]

Sounds like you should have worn flats...Happy New Year...:drink: Have one on me.....BJ

[PeggySue]

Congrats! You took the first step. Yeah, it can be scary, but you also had a little bad luck with the others coming down the road.

I have not been out that long, but I have found going out in the car, pumping gas in my pumps, stopping at a rest stop and finding a more remote part of it to sit to be good ways to get out that are less scary. I almost always have a way of escape should it be necessary. I do other things now, but that will be later for you.

Once you have been out, you won't want to stop. So, you go girl!!

Hugs,
PeggySue

[shirley1]

thanks - i'm gonna stick to my original plan now - go to a tg meeting a few times get to know people there - some of them go out regulary from the meeting place - that way i wont be alone when i go out and hopefully will get some idea off others how good ie convincing i look - see thats my problem i dont really know how good i look yeh when i look at myself in the mirror i cant believe how good i look ! but to others ie members of the public ! i mean lets face it if you know you can look convincing then youve got nothing to worry about - but if not and someone was too shout "thats a man " i think i know the way the phychology works if theres 2 or more of you most people wouldnt say anything but on your own your a target - so i will wait till i have been out with others and feel more comfortable in going out dressed again before i try it again on my own

[slamddoger]

that is good. as that you made out

[SandyR]

It is such a rush! nothing else like, but major sensory overload.....beep.....ET..phone home.....

Just gave away my age.

Hugs!

SandyR

[Makayla C]

I too can relate to what your feeling Shirley. My first ever step was to get some pictures on this site which I feel is probably more public than going out, so now that i've beaten that fear that i've had for so long I think that going out may be a bit easier to handle.
I also have the support of a loving partner who seems to think i'd be fine out in the big wide world, which is helping ease my mind a little too.

:love: Makayla

[MsToriJones]

Shirley

maybe there is another in your area who can meet you, dress up and go out with you. Sometimes that makes it easier.....I won't pretend to actually know how you feel or understand your fears but just want you to know that I am wanting to help you. I just know when I became single again that just going out was scary but when I found someone to go with me I wasn't so scared any more.

Remember, to thine own self be true

[shirley1]

It is such a rush! nothing else like, but major sensory overload.....beep.....ET..phone home.....

Just gave away my age.

Hugs!

SandyR

just had to say yeh the andrenaline rush is just unbelievable ! i have never been into parachute jumps - jackass i love - but yeh i liken it to that but that isnt why i want to go out - but had to reply to that its goddam scary but good !

[JoAnnDallas]

I am 60 years old and when I was 58, I went out in the daylight dressed for the first time. All I did was take a walk from the back door, up side walk, then the front walk, then up the walk to the front door. I was scared as all get out, heartrate pounding, and even sweating. As I was walking a car came up the street, passed me and went on down the street. When I got to the front door, I realized that nothing happen. The car did not slow down, no yelling at me or anything. So instead of going in the front door, I turned around and walked back the same route to the back door. This time I noticed that my heartrate was down some and I was not sweating. I continued to do this over the next few days and it got easier and easier. Then I started taking drives around the neighborhood, stopping and filling up the SUV. Then in 2006 I started emailing with a local Tri-Ess officer and that Nov went to HEF2006 which was being held here in Dallas. This was my first time not only in public but around other TG's and non-TG's. Since then I have joined the local Tri-Ess chapter, gone shopping at Payless, ROSS, Target, and Walmart, and even walked into convience stores, used the ladies restroom, and tried on ladies clothing at ROSS and WalMart.
Once you get over the fear of going out, you will notice that most people will not take any notice of you, and you will have a great time. Just dress to blend in, act like you do this everyday, and smile.

[shirley1]

I am 60 years old and when I was 58, I went out in the daylight dressed for the first time. All I did was take a walk from the back door, up side walk, then the front walk, then up the walk to the front door. I was scared as all get out, heartrate pounding, and even sweating. As I was walking a car came up the street, passed me and went on down the street. When I got to the front door, I realized that nothing happen. The car did not slow down, no yelling at me or anything. So instead of going in the front door, I turned around and walked back the same route to the back door. This time I noticed that my heartrate was down some and I was not sweating. I continued to do this over the next few days and it got easier and easier. Then I started taking drives around the neighborhood, stopping and filling up the SUV. Then in 2006 I started emailing with a local Tri-Ess officer and that Nov went to HEF2006 which was being held here in Dallas. This was my first time not only in public but around other TG's and non-TG's. Since then I have joined the local Tri-Ess chapter, gone shopping at Payless, ROSS, Target, and Walmart, and even walked into convience stores, used the ladies restroom, and tried on ladies clothing at ROSS and WalMart.
Once you get over the fear of going out, you will notice that most people will not take any notice of you, and you will have a great time. Just dress to blend in, act like you do this everyday, and smile.

i know what you are sayin is right - i have recently emailed a tg support leader and they said a similar thing - the only thing is they said its connected with guilt and once you loose the guilt the fear will go away - no i have no feelings of guilt used to but thats gone - the fear is my problem - i think it has been made worse by being targeted by local youths in my old neighbourhood who had a go at me just being dressed in male mode - so obviously i'm thinking what shit would i get dressed as a girl - but i guess these sort of people (lowlife) will have a go at anyone regardless of how they look - yeh it must be something else to have gone from worrying about walkin down the path to walking out to a busy shoppin centre ect - thats some major confidence boost - i've got to crack it sometime soon !

[JoAnnDallas]

Just take it one day at a time. Each time out will build confidence in yourself. The first time out in the daylight was in 2005, it was almost a year later that I got brave enough to goto a public place like a big Hotel fully dressed. I then started going to my Tri-Ess meetings fully dressed. It took almost another year and encouragement from others here and my Tri-Ess group to to out fully dressed solo in the daylight and enteract with others.
So like many have said, take it one day at a time. If there is a support group in your area, get in touch with them.