telling people intentionally or not !

[shirley1]

i recently let the cat out to bag to one of my mates that i'm a cd - subsuquently havnt heard from him in a few weeks - fortunately i'm not that bothered but it makes you think just how fickle people are or some at least - you see thats where the guilt comes from for some of us - i dont think i'm doing anything wrong in wearing womens clothes when i want - but obvoiusly some people either dont understand or are scared by knowing someone that does it - so i think any guilt really does stem from being scared to tell people and their reaactions if they were to find out - and it seems to me sometimes its justified - not the being afraid to tell people so much but worrying about loosing friends - caus it can happen - and i guess you just have to be serious enough in your convictions in what your doing to be prepared to go meet new friends or you could end up with no friends - wouldnt bother me though i do what i want from now on real friends would stay friends no matter what i did - but i still think society sucks !

[ericalynncd]

Most people are misinformed. I truely belive we should educate them. We are not bad people and we wont give them cooties. lol (can't belive I said cooties)..

[susanmichelle]

I too told a mate friend of mine. He said it was cool and we were still friends and never saw him again. We had been friends for 4 years and I found out a week later he went to a diner we both went to to chat and drink coffee with others as a group that i was gay and a crossdresser \. Well Im not gay so what if i was but he was so homophobic guess he really wasnt a friend after all. Only time of all I have come out to that something negative came out of it. Some people are just close minded i guess.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

LOL @ cooties


ur right tho cding isnt catchy,,
fair weather friends is what i call them, u only hear from them when they need something:rolleyes:
but think about it, if u told ur friend u wer gay he would understand and still be ur friend but it seems that cding just blows peoples minds and they just cant wrap their tiny little minds around it:2c:

dont mean u personaly just in general terms.....


to bad closed minds dont come with closed mouths

[Mixie]

But stick this under your hat:

What is it which attracts friends? Our personalities! And what is it which us CD'ers have learned to alter in order to hide our CD'ing? Our personalities! So when we let someone into our CD'ing side, they are meeting someone who is different than the person they made friends with.

Doesn't that suck?!

Then again, I may just be speaking for myself.

[Celeste]

People always condemn what they don't understand or are afraid of. The question I always ask myself is, will I allow the fact that they are misinformed,insecure or just hateful, control my thoughts or instill guilt in me?Not a chance. I wish people would worry more about who "they" were offending rather than who someone else might be offending.I will not be derailed over another's interpretation of what is right or wrong.

[Eugenie]

All the people I told about my Cross-dressing took it very well. But I carefully choose the people I was talking to and the moment when I did talk to them. Most of the people I came out to were women, friends of work coleagues. I only came out to two male coleagues.

Some didn't care at all and some seemed to appreciate me even more. Especially women who became much more friendly with me...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Marvina Martian]

But stick this under your hat:

What is it which attracts friends? Our personalities! And what is it which us CD'ers have learned to alter in order to hide our CD'ing? Our personalities! So when we let someone into our CD'ing side, they are meeting someone who is different than the person they made friends with.

Doesn't that suck?!

This is Way it is sooooo much nicer to meet people who already know! ;)

I am thinking about telling a very close friend but do have some hesitation, like most of us. It is hard to just be yourself sometimes and not the person that they think you should be.

[KELLYANN]

i came out to my best friend of over 40 yrs. he was always wondering where i disappeared to on many weekends. (girls weekends out with TG friends) he finally figured i must have a girlfriend and why i had not introduced her. i felt guilty deceiving my best friend, so i told him that, yes, actually i had several "girlfriends" most in surrounding states. we all try to get together when possable. so, i'm sure he was a bit perplexed and still is. he's very cool with it. so i think true friends are just that, always there and supportive. i also came out to my mom, only because i kinda got BUSTED some BE-ALL pictures on my wall. who are all these lovely girls, people you work with? hence, some explaining to do. was a bit worried how she would take it. to my relief, she told me i must be the daughter she never had. she thinks it's great and there is nothing wrong with what i do. i guess i'm blessed to have understanding family and friends. my father has passed and i'm not sure what he may have thought. also came out to my next door neihbor, (busted again) mowing the lawn with nails still painted. i guess to say, i've only come out to people i feel i can trust. so far, so good. HUGS KELLYANN

[Deborah Jane]

I haven,t told any old friends because i expect the same reactions. I have started making new friends in the c/d community online and will be meeting some in February, as i,ve been encouraged to go out clubbing with them. [My 1st time out of the closet]:happy:

[Angie G]

Yes it sucks hun :hugs:
Angie

[CaptLex]

but think about it, if u told ur friend u wer gay he would understand and still be ur friend but it seems that cding just blows peoples minds and they just cant wrap their tiny little minds around it:2c:
Not necessarily - lots of people act like that's catchy too and suddenly disappear. :p

[Nicole Erin]

I have a friend I had thought about telling but I figured better not.
Thing is, sometimes people cam be great friends at first but then hate each other later.

I don't really have any life long or close friends. People come and go.

My thing is, if someone asks if I am CD, I am probably not going to lie, but on the other hand, I am not out to educate the general public about CD's.

So no, I don't bring it up unless they do. Even after that I won't really tell them anything about it unless asked.

[SiobhanW]

I would find it devastating if people I genuinely cared about (and it's not a very long list) were to dismiss me just because I have this slightly feminine side that I allow to show every once in a while.

I think I like Erin's philosophy of only telling when specifically asked, and then only volunteering the information requested.

[azalea]

Most people end up finding out because I say dumb things when I drink too much... which is why I try not to drink too much anymore.

[Annie D]

When each of us came out to our SO, wasn't one of the questions they had for us either "Are you gay?" or "Do you want to a woman?". Only a few of the outsiders know that most CD'ers are hetersexuals. Dear Abby and Ann Landers would say so in reply to every letter they published on the subject. I don't know if I would have the courage but maybe an international coming out day would be the only way to educate the public.

Annie

[shirley1]

yeh i have let things slip out recently when i've been a bit drunk ! telling 2 mates 1 is a bit slow and maybe wont understand anyway but he hasnt been in touch for a few weeks - but has sent me 1 of those stupid emails about love and understanding and sending them back to people at least 3 or more (chain letters) dont like them - want to ring him but a bit scared it gets worse the longer you leave it - the other mate told me i need a women ! yeh like thats the answer ! like so many of you on here that get hitched and then dont tell them and suffer from not having the freedom to cd when you want - yeh like thats the answer - having a regular sex life proving myself as a man by havin kids will really help ! no i've decided sod mates if i loose them then theyre not really true mates anyway - its funny but i guess you find out who your real friends are when it comes to the crunch - you know how it is you push yourself so far to the point where you feel youve got nothing too loose in telling people/someone ! then the reaction is bad - automatic reaction push back dont cd for a while youve gone too far in trying to tell people - all the guilt youve convinced yourself youve lost is on the verge of coming back again - its a load of crap - you have to be prepared to loose everyone youve ever known to pursue this lifestyle it really is a case of what road do i go down cd, conventional realationship, or stay on you own for the rest of your life (cd whenever you want but become a hermit) or try and meet someone on the basis of your cding and it will be a different type of relationship most likely minus any kids - bit i dont want kids now anyway so at least its a bit easier ! sorry if i sound negative in any way but this is just the way i see things !

[mackemlass]

I accidentally outed myself to a friend at work recently but she seemed ok with it at the time and still does-in fact our relationship as work colleagues seems to be improving! One of my friends in my previous job,I never told her directly but i'm pretty sure she figured it out,but again we're still friends and see each other socially occasionally.

[shirley1]

i think now that i wont tell anyone else unless i have to - i am still in the process of trying to loose the guilt about this and i am doing so and plannin on going to a tg meeting in a few weeks time - i am a bit apprehensive about it but at the same time looking forward to meeting likeminded people - its good coming on here for advice ect - but to be able to meet and talk to people face to face for advice help and just general social fun must be good - i did it a few times a few years back and it is a fantastic social thing - i think for myself i have to know where i'm at with cding and how far i want to take it ie do i want to really walk the streets in broad daylite - if so maybe thats when i need to tell people (in case i'm recognized) until then i will keep my mouth shut its not worth risking loosing friends in my opinion unless you really have no choice