im i better off or not !

[shirley1]

straight question to both people in relationships or not - as a cd at 40 with no so am i better off ie to try and meet someone - anyone done the dating sites ? one thing that has totally amazed me on this site is how many of you are married - i cant get a women because of my cding because i held back thinking it would cause problems later on in a relationship - but most of you went for it anyway - dont get it but still fair play ! i am being honest never had a problem with my sexuality just cant push for relationships knowing how i feel for years does anyone indentify with me !

[Mixie]

I have always fealt like my qualities which make me want to CD also have made it difficult to get into relationships. I mean, if you take the whole CD'ing thing out of the equation, I still have trouble with women for these reasons:

-I'm not aggressive
-I wait for ladies to make the first move
-Women are typically aloof, and that is a big turn off for me.

But none of these have ever really been a conscious decision. Is this kind of what you're talking about?

[shirley1]

I have always fealt like my qualities which make me want to CD also have made it difficult to get into relationships. I mean, if you take the whole CD'ing thing out of the equation, I still have trouble with women for these reasons:

-I'm not aggressive
-I wait for ladies to make the first move
-Women are typically aloof, and that is a big turn off for me.

But none of these have ever really been a conscious decision. Is this kind of what you're talking about?

yeh i have no desire to chat women up - i wish they would come to me but they dont ! but i feel if i was to go out dresses as a women i would get women talking to me ! i have always hated the mating game i have never felt comfortable doing the pullin ! as we call it in england - i would love to be chatted up and wined and dined just like a girl - but at the same time i still class myself as hetro - am i just kiden myself or is society to blame ! surely men that get women even on here must have been comfortable doing the male thing at some point or is gender roles and cding completely different ! i really just dont understand it caus half the people on this site are more into it than me now but i like i said couldnt pull a bird to save my life !

[tamarav]

I now work as a hairsytlist and people ask my wife all the time if she worries about me "straying" She damn near choked to death on it one night when I was there with her. If they only knew.

I met my wife and told her with 1 week of meeting. We have been together 23 years and are the best of friends and lovers. She is awesome.

Take a risk, who knows who you will meet.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

the only thing about getting back into dating that im not lookin forward to is at age 45 havin to get to know someone new all over again,,,, i told my X the first week we met im a cd so it wasnt a problem,,,

what i have desided to do is make sure the person im interested in knows,, and let them take it from there.... and being as im always wearing pantyhose and some other form of womens clothing its not gona be a big suprize if it goes further..:D

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sure CDing is getting in the way of my relationships. My dates have to compete with Sherry in the bedroom. So far, no one comes close to being as attractive to me as Sherry is. Now, my situation my be unique. As my dates are about 50 years old and Sherry looks 20 years younger, and way hotter!
However, I think in almost every hetero CD, there is some competition between yourself and your female other, or date.

I guess the best way resolve the delemma is to look inside and see what, or which, is more important to u. Ideally, find a GG who accepts CDing. Altho, that may be easier said than done! I certainly don't have the answer yet.
Good luck to all of us!
RS

[Oddlee]

My own thoughts are that you need to be pretty honest up front with someone you may become serious with. I told one potential SO about my "habit," and she wanted nothing to do with it: a loss, definitely, but better early than after months... At the same time, I told an ex-girlfriend about the cd thing - she had no problems with it, and we've had many pleasant nights together, with me dressed or not. She refers to our relationship as "friends with benefits."

She is not the woman of my dreams, but I have not given up the search. I'm convinced that honesty is the best policy, but remain ambivalent as to the best time to tell...

Lee

[Deborah Jane]

Since splitting from my wife over my c/ding i have been reluctant to date properly again. I,ve had a few short term relationships, but don,t allow myself to become too close. Then i don,t have to risk getting a broken heart and going through the trauma again of losing someone else i love because of her rejection of me because i c/d.

[kim85]

Sorry if you didnt want GG to post in here but there was no mention of it been MFT only.

Part of the reason that some (not all ) realtionships can fail or start to take off was said by docrobbysherry

However, I think in almost every hetero CD, there is some competition between yourself and your female other, or date.
She does something that in some cases we never can. Even for the CD's who dont think this and try to tell their SO's this isnt the case, i can pretty much say it is still in the SO's mind. Im not trying to pick on docrobbysherry or saying that its wrong that she feels this way but it is a sad reality that it does happen

Kim
xxx

[androgyne]

straight question to both people in relationships or not - as a cd at 40 with no so am i better off ie to try and meet someone - anyone done the dating sites ? one thing that has totally amazed me on this site is how many of you are married - i cant get a women because of my cding because i held back thinking it would cause problems later on in a relationship - but most of you went for it anyway - dont get it but still fair play ! i am being honest never had a problem with my sexuality just cant push for relationships knowing how i feel for years does anyone indentify with me !

It's almost impossible to find a healthy relationship with a man when you're a TG. Most of the potential partners are usually married and cheating on their wives, or otherwise trannie chasers simply looking for a thrill. Yet, for me, I have found relationships with other MTF TGs to be the most satisfying, albeit one has to have a same sex inclination to do that.

I've learned to realize that just because I'm comfortable with my sexuality, doesn't mean that others are, so one has to be very careful when using dating sites, since there are a lot of scary people out there.

[Brandy H]

I told my SO only after a year or more into our relationship. We've been together quite a long time now with ups and downs but are doing pretty well, I guess. Although when she's goung through one of her 'not understanding', 'not accepting' moods I hear "this is not what I sighned up for" Like any uf us sighn up for anything... Anyway, I decided a long time ago that if this relationship didn't work out and I were dating again, I would definately let her know from the get go. I'm not going to change. Not going to get all better...why put myself or anyone else into a relationship of hiding, lying, not sharing etc.

[mykhelee]

I have only been in one "hetero" relationship where my S.O. accepted my cd'ing. It was a very strange and bizarre time in my life. I was in the closet except for when at home and usually under dressed most of the time, and at least every other weekend full on. We did a lot of full swinging, and generally things went well. When we split she decided to "air my dirty laundry so to speak":Angry3:
My most recent ex-wife knew from the start that I cd'd. The first time we were intimate, she asked why I shave my legs, I told her. For the first 7 years it went well, an underclothes and when the kids were gone kind of thing. Then she started to become real negative about it, questioning whether or not I would go "over the fence", so to speak. It got to the point where she gave me the choice between my clothes and her. After being together 12 years I chose her. Her claim was "she didn't know what I really meant when I told her.:eek:
She knew, my ex before her had taped a couple of our dress up with another man encounters and showed them to her before we got together. It had become obvious that I could do nothing correctly anymore, kept making snarky comments about my bi-sexuality and clothing choices.We split after 16 years. She "just couldn't be with a man who enjoyed those sorts of things".

Sorry for the log winded chase...now to the point.:D

Even if a woman "knows" you dress before going in, be ready for the repercussions the first time you have a serious fight.
Be ready for "everyone and their brother" to know about your cd'ing should you split. I was faithful for 16 years and withstood constant accusations of having strayed over the fence, because I get emotional comfort form dressing.
Good Luck

[Pamela Julie]

Shirly and Mixie: you described me. I was 42 when I got married. Dated her for three years and knew her for months before that. Before her, relationships were few and never long term. Unfortunately I am not out to her and her mental state is very fragile so I can not open up to her without danger of her getting much worse. She has been treated for several years, which stopped the downslide but she has shown only a little improvement. We do have a happy marriage even though she doesn't know Pamela.

[AmandaM]

I never had trouble getting girls, I wasn't a player, but kinda the nice guy who they gravitated toward. If I get somewhat involved, I tell them. That way, only the ones who don't care stick around.