After the Divorce -Looking for someone

[Tracy M]

Another question for everyone: After the divorce, how many women did you go thru befoe you found one who was CD-Friendly?

[JULIE33362]

Who Know Till You Find One

[jennig]

its been 5 years for me and about 15 girl friends its not easy to find someone that enjoys our lifestyle, huggs jennig

[Claudia Zylindrias]

actually after the divorce i dated 6 women, i told them all by the 3rd date: two were abivalent ( it didn't bother them even if i wore it around them during intimancy), two liked it but were not at all that into it. Those two were also the ones that loved it when i treated them like princessess but were not to keen on returning the favor, whether i was being a prince or a princess. The other two were very into my CDing shop with me for me the works, they are also bi so i guess that help a bit. I have been with one of the last two now for 4 years, moved in together last jan, still going great. Funny that what caused a lot of misery in my late teens and early twentys has been a blessing in my late twentys and early thirties.

[briannad]

have not found an accepting GG, been divorced 8 years

[Sharon B.]

Still looking after being divorced for 16 years.

[MAJESTYK]

Dont know if it counts, I wasn't married to my children's mother. I found one on the first try! She's the greatest too.:love:

[stormrider]

After two, I have givenup on women.

[Holly]

...how many women did you go thru befoe you found one who was CD-Friendly?Go through? Surely you could have phrased this a bit better. Women are not comdities to "go through." They are human beings with feelings and needs. With this kind of attitude, you may have a long look ahead.:(

[Billijo49504]

After the first one died, I interviewed about 600. I hired 4 and the last one I fired at the alter...BJ

[Marvina Martian]

After the first one died, I interviewed about 600. I hired 4 and the last one I fired at the alter...BJ

:lol:
That was too funny BJ!

[Carrie]

Miss Tracy M,

I believe that everyone has a soul-mate. I believe that you have a soul-mate Miss Tracy, someone who will love you unconditionally and give her heart and life to you eternally. I am still looking for my soul-mate and I will not stop looking until I draw my last breath. Some things are worth waiting for. I am a GG that is accepting and encouraging of CD; don't be discouraged, accepting girls do exist. One lesson that I would like to pass on is: you must like yourself and be comfortable with who you are before you can expect someone else to like you and to be comfortable with you. It took me about 6 unhappy, lonely years to realize this after my divorce. I wish you all the best!

~C

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

my X is very cd accepting,,unfortunatly we didnt get along on most of the other things that u deal with in everyday life,,
i did have one g/f just after my X and i seperated who was ok with my cding but she turnd out to be a psycho alchoholic

[Carrie]

Miss Obsessedwithpantyhose,

It is unfortunate that the only GF accepting of CD was a psycho alcoholic. I do hope that you are not implying that accepting GGs are emotionally damaged addicts. I assure you that is not the case. That would be like saying “all pro-athletes use steroids” or “all blondes are dumb”. While, certainly there are some individuals in each category that lend credibility to these statements, it is a fallacy to label everyone in the group in this manner. Be patient, there are well-adjusted GGs who realize the value of having their partner wanting a female experience and who embrace CD.

I will have to admit that none of us are perfect. Even I have an addiction: I am not as friendly until I’ve had a cup of coffee each day.

If I have misinterpreted your intentions, I will blame it on the lack of caffeine this morning!
Hugs,
~C

[laceyjessica]

carrie where have you been all my life

i wish my first wife accepted

[KathrynTX]

carrie where have you been all my life

Ditto.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

Carrie, WELL said.

and after my divorce... I found another right away.

They ARE out there, but finding a minority accepting kinda girl in a very small minority pool is NOT an easy thing.

Zara

[Deborah Jane]

I,ve had 3 girlfriends since my seperation, none were accepting [i didn,t tell them i c/ded, just asked a few subtle questions to get their views]. I don,t know whether to give up or keep trying for "the right one". One thing is for sure, i can,t/won,t give up c/ding after finally accepting it,s part of who i am.

[MJ]

Carrie where have you been all my life


thats double Ditto. for me :love:.

but there again who wants to open up there heart only to get hurt again

[Nicole Erin]

i did have one g/f just after my X and i seperated who was ok with my cding but she turnd out to be a psycho alchoholic

Yeah that ain't something ANYone wants to put up with.

Anyways, if one is looking for an accepting new partner, would it not be a good idea to frequent GLBT friendly places?

My wife knows and tolerates, never had to search. She knew after we were married.

[Joanna-Louise]

I went through a couple of g/fs some were onger than a couple of months, some wernt even one night...

Thing is I always go by what there interests are, are they open mindied, liberal or are they the strict religious bibal binding type... (sorry if i just offended anyone)

In the end i met kim85 but even then i was not 100% she would be supportive. I dont think you ever can be. Best thing ive found is form the base of realtionship and come clean within that time or close to it as poss... if its not meant to be move on... etc etc etc


Could take time or you could hit jack pot straight away.

GOod luck hun
jo
xx

[janie2261]

This is a common problem: It seems that relatively few women want to have a serious relationship with a cross-dresser.

The thought occurs to me that it may be best to seek out bi-sexual women, who are already predisposed to finding both sexes attractive.

Has anyone had any success (or failure) with this approach?

PS: If you are one of us who is into guys, it would seem to make sense as well to be looking for a bi-sexual guy.

Your thoughts?

[Alicia_lynn419]

I have been told, or its been suggested to me more than once, that I should seek out a bisexual woman as well. I agree it does make sense that a bi girl may be more inclined to accept a CD than a straight girl, but there are always exceptions. I have many, many GG friends that know about me, some are bi, some are straight, and some are gay.... but for whatever reason they are romantically unavailable to me (either previously taken, geographically unavailable, or none of the above). I know they are out there! One girl I dated briefly over the summer has dated CDs in the past. Of course I didn't know this until she was seeing someone new, but we're still friends and talking about having a girls night soon.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

Carrie, what i ment by psycho alchoholic was her drinking controled her and when ever she opend her mouth i never knew who was gona be speaking,,and according to her beer is not alchohol

and i DO frequent a GLBT bar, on friday nights they have karaoke and some str8s come in but its all good so i get alot of exposure as it wer,,this place is so near me that i ride my bicycle there when the weather is nice at night,, yes i ride while in skirts heels and pantyhose :D

[Carrie]

Hello everyone,

If I may make one more comment...While a Bi girl may be more open-minded than other girls, don't restrict yourself because there are straight GGs out there that are just looking for a good partner with strong character traits like openness, honesty, compassion, empathy, etc. I am one such GG still looking for my soul-mate and if he happens to have a femme side - that's even more fun! What's on the inside is much more important than what is on the outside.

My heart has been broken so many times, I should probably be numb to its effects, but I'm not, it still hurts just as bad as the first time. I believe that my true love is out there and I will take the risk of another broken heart to find him. I encourage you not to give up! I know you may think the odds are against you but by not trying you will never find your true love.

Something else that I’d like to add: Sometimes a girl may not be receptive to subtle hints because she is thinking that you will laugh at her or it could be that she has never given it much thought and yes the initial reaction may be negative. I would be vague if I didn’t know how a guy thought about it. Here is an approach that I would prefer hearing “my best friend is a CD, I’d like to know how you feel about that after you’ve given it some thought and allow for me to answer your questions.” Her reaction might still be negative but there is no guessing as to how she feels about it and you are giving her an opportunity to talk about it – sometimes people fear what they don’t know.

I could tell you my experience but I’m sure I’ve already bored you with this long message (sorry, I’ll get off my soap box now). Thanks for listening. Best wishes and big hugs to all!

~C

[raleighbelle]

Carrie, I just wanted to thank you for your helpful and insightful comments. What you said makes a lot of sense, and it is easy to interpret initial vague or cold responses as definitely negative. Your suggestion about discussing a 'friend that CDs' may be useful as well, though I now prefer to just be honest (typically after a couple or few dates, but not much later than that), as I figure that my 'female side' is a very real part of me, and if a relationship is to be serious at all, it will have to be a part of it. It is not something I want to repress anymore. If a woman cannot accept that part of my life, she is certainly not my 'soulmate'.

I'm so sorry to hear that your heart has been broken so many times before. I hope things work out for you soon!




Something else that I’d like to add: Sometimes a girl may not be receptive to subtle hints because she is thinking that you will laugh at her or it could be that she has never given it much thought and yes the initial reaction may be negative. I would be vague if I didn’t know how a guy thought about it. Here is an approach that I would prefer hearing “my best friend is a CD, I’d like to know how you feel about that after you’ve given it some thought and allow for me to answer your questions.” Her reaction might still be negative but there is no guessing as to how she feels about it and you are giving her an opportunity to talk about it – sometimes people fear what they don’t know.

~C

[Scotty]

I have my eyes on two BI women, one is out of town right nwo but will be back in a few weeks and I'm interested, the other is with someone right now so I bide my time I guess :D

I live in a conservative town though, have to go to Seattle for anyone with an open mind.

As for Alcholics - been there and done that and completely understood what Obsessed was saying......Dr Jekyl, Mr Hide, instant B*TCH just add alcohol, whatever you want to guess at....very seldom loving when drunk. I will never make that mistake again (Sorry, if you are one of those but having been there I've been burned).

:)

[docrobbysherry]

My ex was Bi! She's been with nothing but women since our separation and divorce. Of course, my dressing was only a single card back then. Compared to the full deck Sherry is playing with now!

How can I possibly tell my dates about Sherry?
Tell/show a 50 year old, the 30+/- hussy I'm seeing on the side? Why would any of them want to deal with that kind of weird competition? It's difficult enough for me to be dating them! I hope that's only MY problem, and not yours, compadres!
RS

[fun4metoo2004]

It has been 12 years, and I am still looking for someone I can spend what is left of my life.

[Julogden]

Hello everyone,

If I may make one more comment...While a Bi girl may be more open-minded than other girls, don't restrict yourself because there are straight GGs out there that are just looking for a good partner with strong character traits like openness, honesty, compassion, empathy, etc. I am one such GG still looking for my soul-mate and if he happens to have a femme side - that's even more fun! What's on the inside is much more important than what is on the outside.

My heart has been broken so many times, I should probably be numb to its effects, but I'm not, it still hurts just as bad as the first time. I believe that my true love is out there and I will take the risk of another broken heart to find him. I encourage you not to give up! I know you may think the odds are against you but by not trying you will never find your true love.

Something else that I’d like to add: Sometimes a girl may not be receptive to subtle hints because she is thinking that you will laugh at her or it could be that she has never given it much thought and yes the initial reaction may be negative. I would be vague if I didn’t know how a guy thought about it. Here is an approach that I would prefer hearing “my best friend is a CD, I’d like to know how you feel about that after you’ve given it some thought and allow for me to answer your questions.” Her reaction might still be negative but there is no guessing as to how she feels about it and you are giving her an opportunity to talk about it – sometimes people fear what they don’t know.

I could tell you my experience but I’m sure I’ve already bored you with this long message (sorry, I’ll get off my soap box now). Thanks for listening. Best wishes and big hugs to all!

~C
Hi Carrie,

Thanks, good advice for all of us who would like to have a female partner who likes us because of who we are rather than in spite of who we are. At 56 though, hope is starting to fade for me.

Women like you are very hard to find. I expect that many females who really like CD's are as closeted as many of us CD's are and are as shy about joining forums like this as the shyest of us CD's.

By the way, I expect that most of us would love to hear your experience, I know I would.

Carol:hugs:

[nancyjtv]

I've only been divorced for a few months and haven't started looking. But I do know there are GGs who are accepting. My first wife was accepting. But we had other problems. My second wife wasn't and it was what finally ended my marriage.

Nancy

[Michelle37]

I have been told, or its been suggested to me more than once, that I should seek out a bisexual woman as well. I agree it does make sense that a bi girl may be more inclined to accept a CD than a straight girl, but there are always exceptions. I have many, many GG friends that know about me, some are bi, some are straight, and some are gay.... but for whatever reason they are romantically unavailable to me (either previously taken, geographically unavailable, or none of the above). I know they are out there! One girl I dated briefly over the summer has dated CDs in the past. Of course I didn't know this until she was seeing someone new, but we're still friends and talking about having a girls night soon.

i dont think bisexual is the answer. i dated a few thinking the same thing. it wasnt good. i recently connected with a smart and funny woman gg on this forum. nothing romantic because she is not far enough away from a heartache and i am still figuring some things out about how not to make the same mistakes as before. maybe we can help each other to put a smile back our faces. she lives in my city to.
she is not bi she is -sp- androginus -sp-. she sees thinks about people and relationships in a way different then most women. i don't how to explain it so youll know when you find someone like that. everything seems equal and without boundarys. something like that but different its rare and refreshing way she see things. she is 10 years older but i dont think that has anything to do with it. she really has peaked my interest. its a certain 'wow' factor. i think it is time we meet for a coffee :D and see where this connection can go. friends is always a good start.

[traceyanne]

since my divorce from my ex, i have dated 5 women, 3 were not accepting for various reason, the 4th liked me dressing purely for a sexual thing, and the 5 lady accepted me for what i am and that woman is now my wife whom i love dearly, she accepts my dressing, ok we have some boundaries but its a case of give and take, after all the years of hiding, this is bliss.

[Carrie]

Hi Carrie,

Thanks, good advice for all of us who would like to have a female partner who likes us because of who we are rather than in spite of who we are. At 56 though, hope is starting to fade for me.

Women like you are very hard to find. I expect that many females who really like CD's are as closeted as many of us CD's are and are as shy about joining forums like this as the shyest of us CD's.

By the way, I expect that most of us would love to hear your experience, I know I would.

Carol:hugs:

Hello Miss Carol,

I think it is ironic that you said that some of us GG are in the closet. I just typed that same thought to one my CD friends a few weeks ago because that’s how I feel. That’s when she then told me about this forum so I joined (my CD friend is patient and wise – thank you! - you know who u r).

I had been complaining to my CD friend about how some of my family thinks that I’m Bi or gay because I'm attracted to CD but not willing to admit it. They like to tease me about it. Even though I’m on 2 regular dating sites in addition to a CD site, my daughters think that all of the guys I talk to are CDs (I have to admit that I do talk to more CD than non-CDs now).

Other family members tell me that they’ve never seen me happier and that I should do it if it makes me happy. I have tried to talk to some of my non-CD friends; I get everything from laughter to mean comments. I joined this forum, to have people to talk to about this that can relate.

Miss Carol I must tell you that being 56 years young – you still have plenty of options available.

I am 47 and the CD that I was with is 61 years young. She is at a point in her life that she is comfortable with who she is and realizes that being a part-time girl actually brings balance to her life. If she hadn’t been so comfortable with herself, I may have been turned off by it and I wouldn’t be here today.

I will share my experience in another post just because I’m detail oriented (can u tell) and I will need to condense it so it doesn’t become a novel.

~C