More Dom and Sub stuff

[Annie D]

In my male mode, I have always been and still am "take charge" and a type A personality. I don't like myself to be that way many times. I find when I dress enfemme, I completely change my character and therefore my personality. I sincerely like myself better when I dress.

It has been written that we use our crossdressing as a tension release and a way to escape who we are and what we have become through the years.

So many of us started dressing at a very early age so I am not sure that tension release is the whole answer. I know that when I am dressed, I do feel at peace with myself.

How about you? What do you think about how you change mentally from male mode to being your "intended" self?

Annie D

[jennydl]

Hi Annie,I don't feel that I'm any different when I dress.My masculine and femme sides are there at all times.I will take charge if the situation requires it to,eg.if I'm in a group and no one else will step up and take charge(if that is whats required)then I will.no problem with that and also I have no problem letting someone else take charge.I have taken the online femme test and recieved a score of 67% femme/33%masc but I only occasionally dress(my choice)I guess my point is that "I am me"24/7 and don't really have "sides"
jenny


ps.for the sake of this post let's assume that "taking charge"is a masculine trait(I personally don't believe that it is,but must agree that you see it more in men than women)

[Kali]

Actually, I don't thnk this is a dom/sub issue. When in male mode, you are taking on a role for which you have been trained ; that your societal upbringing has brought you to expect. It actually doesn't mean you are a "dominant", it simply means that that is the mask you choose to present to society as a whole.

I know lots of had charging type A personalities, many in serious corporate roles in NYC, who, in reality, are submissives. When given the opportunity to express their true selves, you can see the mask fade away.

And their are many laid back personalities that are strictly dom; it's next to impossible for them to do anything more than pretend submission, and it's pretty obvious.

[CharleneCD]

ps.for the sake of this post let's assume that "taking charge"is a masculine trait(I personally don't believe that it is,but must agree that you see it more in men than women)

Tell that to my wife Bunny. She has always had a dominant personaliy. Thats ptob why our marriage has lasated longer than her others. If I were dominant we would be butting heaqds all the time.

As for me, I do not find that I am any more sub when dressed. It is just a part of me. But as my fem side has developed and become more a part of me I do find myself more inclined to be more sub in our relationship. Not sure if it is the TG thing or just that it has become a part of our thing in the bedroom more recently.

[Stephanie Scott]

It's an interesting issue. I have always engaged in activities -- sports (football all the way through college), military, and now my current "high powered" job -- that require aggression, assertiveness, and competitiveness. (Plus, I'm a husband and a dad, which also require some of the same traits in terms of providing for and protecting my family). I haven't done those things to "prove" anything or to try to overcompensate for my feminine side -- I have enjoyed all of these things.

But it's kind of ironic, because I don't think my personality is naturally inclined to be "take charge" My wife is actually far more assertive and aggresive naturally than I am. "Becoming" a girl for a while is SO peace inducing and stress relieving for me, and I believe it is because it allows me to take the mask off and allow a suppressed part of my personality to come out a little more. I like being submissive in a feminine posture, but I don't like being submissive in regular "guy mode" -- even though I have to work at assertive. Women have societal "permission" to be less aggressive and assertive, so when I'm dressed, it's easier to just be that way, which is probably closer to the "natural state" of my personality.

In reality, I like being tough, aggressive,and competitive AND I like being soft, laid back, and submissive. Women can more freely "float" between those characteristics. Dressing enables me to feel free to express my softer side.

[Angie G]

I do relax more when I dress It helps with the stress relief.
When I started dressing I had no stress to get rid of And dressed just for the joy of it. :hugs:
Angie

[Ashley Williams]

I have never known who I am, really.

When I returned to college to do a full-time Drama/English degree I really discovered that I had a talent to be other people. Insightful, but not really helpful in relation to the cross dressing.

Then I saw a play be Jean Genet called 'The Maids' - which just has two female characters and their activities when their mistress is absent.

I then had fantasies about casting the play with men playing the characters.

Would you believe, the following year, a professional production did just that?

I never got to see it, but it certainly got my mind whirring.

Sorry - back to the subject of the post.

If anything, in this phase of my dressing history, I am more assertive when dressed - even though I am routinely with underwear only. It certainly adds a missing aspect to me - and if I can cope with the contradictions of being externally drab but underneath lovely and silky - almost the best of both worlds.

However, I am gearing myself up to my first appearance in public fully en-femme (well, my local support group actually) and I cannot wait to see how different I feel in that situation!

[Melinda G]

I like myself pretty well. But it's always exciting to look in the mirror and see an attractive woman, nice legs, high heels, and a short dress. Don't see that much these days, so it's become a do-it-yourself project. :heehee: