Nervous

[Ashley Williams]

I am sure many of you can empathise with this.

I only told my wife about my renewed dressing about ten days before Christmas - and up to now we have not spoken a great deal more about it.

This evening, suddenly, she told me that she was going to see a mutual friend and 'have a chat'

This had been my suggestion when she complained that I have all the support - ie from sites like this - yet she can talk to no-one.

I don't think it is so much a reflection on the forum as a distaste for the internet generally. She thinks I spend far too much time on-line and as for actually building relationships and getting support from other people through it - way off!!

The friend has had some counselling training through her work in the Health Service and I am hoping she also has an open enough mind to be supportive to my wife and objective enough to not judge me too harshly.

I did not expect my wife to follow any of my suggestions after the initial reaction - and have no idea what she will say when she returns - so fingers and everything else crossable firmly entwined!

[Mary Morgan]

Best of luck. Unfortunately, it is hard to find people who are truely informed about transgender issues. I have had some tell me they were informed, but found out later I was doing all the informing. Good luck to you and yuor wife.

[MJ]

Louise is right . i hope all goes well for you. :hugs:

[Ashley Williams]

Thanks for the prompt responses and good wishes/suggestions.

Well - the friend who I had hoped would have at least counselled caution has only helped my wife prepare to draw up battle plans, from my reading of the situation.

They suspect I am going through a 'mid-life crisis' and that it is drawing me to choose between my female clothing and my marriage.

Ah well - I made the suggestion that they talk in the best of faith - and it looks like it is going to get much worse before (and if) it gets any better!

C'est la vie. Still stinks, though!

[Eugenie]

Sometimes crisis like these can lead couple to finally talk about the subject and go to the depth of the problem.

We have to learn as much about the feelings of our SOs as they have to learn about ours as X-dressers... When this happened to my wife and I, I thought she was the one who had to learn... How wrong of me... During the discussion I realized that I had missed quite a lot from how hard it was for her too...

Unless the dialogue can be started and maintained long enough to arrive at some real exchange taking place, there is no way the situation can improve.

This may take both of you through painful moments, but if you two really have a deep mutual affection, these difficulties can become strengthening factors.

Can't tell you anything more than hold in there, show her that the affection you have for her is as strong as it ever was. Well if that's the case, of course... If not then take your own conclusions...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Sandra]

Well - the friend who I had hoped would have at least counselled caution has only helped my wife prepare to draw up battle plans, from my reading of the situation.



I suggest the friend learns a bit about cding then maybe they can give advise.

If you could persuade her to join here it would help a lot, talking to other GGs who have been in her situation and proably have a lot more advice to give other than saying "you're going through a mid-life crisis"

[teresa jeen]

we wish you all the luck in the world.i think she feels threatened or hurt that she is not "woman" enough for you.reassure her at every turn, let her know you love her, but let your feelings be shown. we only go around once!!

[Kieron Andrew]

I agree with those that say there is help on the net for your wife, this very forum has a GG section for that purpose...it might be a good idea to suggest to her about joining...