Rebuilding my shopping confidence slowly.

[SiobhanW]

As you may have read in my introduction some time back, my bravado for shopping in stores has slipped quite severely since I last went out shopping (which has to be probably 8 years ago now). I don't know where the reticence has come from, I never used to be that way. Perhaps it's just part of getting older.

Anyway, after a few false starts, where I did go looking at things in a Marshalls around the holidays but never bought anything (a fair bit of which has to do with not wanting to buy any new clothes until I reach my goal weight), I finally made a small girly purchase this morning at the Walgreen's local to home - a bottle of nail polish.

The young man on the counter made a point of studying what I bought a little more closely than I would have liked, and I saw more of a smile come over his face than I felt was necessary, but he was polite enough and didn't start yelling "Hey, this dude is buying nail polish!"

So that's it. A baby step for sure, but an important one for me to have made. I'll be buying bras, panties, dresses, and shoes again before you know it. :D

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Siobhan

Congratulations on your steps back into shoping mode :)

[Julogden]

I know what you mean. For the last several years, I've become lazy and buy almost everything on-line, it's so insanely convenient and easy, so I need to go shopping for real very soon, get back on the horse. The thought does make me a bit nervous, but in a good way.

Last Sunday was the first time I've bought anything girly in person in ages, picked out some earrings at a local flea market, felt good, but I was a bit nervous.

Carol

[Nicole Erin]

Now how is someone going to go out en femme if they don't even have the nerve to shop for things needed?

[SiobhanW]

Now how is someone going to go out en femme if they don't even have the nerve to shop for things needed?

I'm not sure that's EVER going to be an option for me. Even when I go for my transformation, while I'm sure a lot of LA gurls would head out to Club Syren for a great night out, I'll probably end up getting back into drab and driving home. I know, it's sad.

[Eugenie]

One first element in rebuilding your shopping confidence is that there are many men who buy certain things for their wives. For example buying perfume is a frequent gift men make to their wives. Likewise, when buying nice underwear, a lot of men do buy it as a present for their wives (Or for their lover, but tha's something the sales attendent doesn't have to know).

So sales attendants don't have any reasons to suspect that you are buying that type of stuf for yourself. Even if you look embarassed, he will think that it is a normal thing : most men are embarassed in women sections of department stores... Just tell that it is a gift for your Wife, girl friend lover (pick appropriate denomination)

But most likely, the sales attendent will not care at all, as you will discover by yourself...

Once you will have rebuilt your confidence that sales attendents don't give a D*** about what you are buying (they just want to make a sale) then you can move to other feminine apparel: skirts, blouses, dresses, high heels shoes... There will be no more reactions than for the rest...

At that point, in front of a sales attendent whom you'l most likely never see again, you may even feel free to tell that in fact you are buying those clothes for you. I did it a few times and always got a very warm response from them. They all knew something about x-dressing and became quite cooperative after they knew it was for me. They gave me advice and even offerd me to try on the clothes in the try on cabins, too happy to have a custommer so eager to buy...

I just hope that you will manage to very progressively get to that point when shopping for yourself. Just go one step at a time, you're in no hurry...

With regard to going out "en femme", there is absolutely no obligation... But if and when one gets to that level of freedom, then it becomes addictive... Beware... :heehee: I would never have believed just a few years ago that I would ever find myself walking down the streets of a large city and enjoy it so much that I now crave for the next occasion...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Kristen Marie]

"Anyway, after a few false starts, where I did go looking at things in a Marshalls around the holidays but never bought anything (a fair bit of which has to do with not wanting to buy any new clothes until I reach my goal weight), I finally made a small girly purchase this morning at the Walgreen's local to home - a bottle of nail polish."

Hi Siobhan....I know what you mean about your goal weight. I held off buying clothes until my weight hit my target (but I still bought shoes!!)

Start slowly with a Payless shoe store and build up. It's amazing the stores I routinely go into now and purchase items. A year ago I was a wreck. You'll get there girl...........

[JoAnnDallas]

The first time I went shopping in JoAnn mode, I walked into a Convenient store one evening after filling up the SUV with gasoline and bought a bottle of water. I was scared that the attendant would clock me, but as I walked in he was talking to another customer. They both stopped talking and looked my way for only a moment. Then went back to their conversation. When I got back in the SUV, I felt so great that I started to giggle. Over the next couple of weeks, I did the same thing at other Convenient stores. This continued to build my conferdence to the point that one Saturday afternoon, I walked into a local Payless Shoe Store as JoAnn. I walked in right behind two GG's, who did not even look my way and as we walked in, one of the SA's said, "Welcome Ladies to Payless". I had just bought a new outfit at Walmart and needed shoes to go with it. I ended up with the help of another SA helping me find the right pair for my new outfit. I was wearing the outfit, so that helped finding the right pair. She commented on how nice my outfit was and then when I was ready to check out, proceeded to check me out. The SA's treated me just like they would any other GG that was there to shop. Now I have shopped at Payless, ROSS, and Walmart as JoAnn. even now each time build more confidence, which allows me to relax more and enjoy the outing even more.

[Donna Marie]

I too am a backslider - it's been several years since Donna Marie ventured out in public. And I also even stopped shopping for femme stuff in stores for a while. But late in 2007 I finally said, "Enough!" I went back to the thrift store and bought some nice tops, altho I was in drab. I did find it was a lot harder after not doing any femme shopping for so long. Whether I will ever again show myself in public en femme is an open question, but I seem to have definitely gotten more chicken. I guess the moral to this story is, once you have bravely faced the world, don't back off!

[Angie G]

Go slow hun there is no rush you will get there :hugs:
Angie