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sarahkatie

01-10-2008, 01:32 AM

jennydl

01-10-2008, 03:35 AM

Hi Sarahkatie,from a logical point of view,if I were a gg then being with a man
would not be gay because I would be a woman.Now,let me see if I can explain.(I speak for my self here and no one else)cding for me is about fantasy,not reality.In reality I'm a guy in a dress and I could buy all the clothes and makeup in the world,get all the surgeries availlable and I would still be a guy in a dress(although missing some parts.I am not a woman inside a mans body ie.transsexual),but in fantasy land I can percieve my self as a woman(well as close as I can,not acually being a gg limits my perception)
Now,the thought of being with a man as a man or cd does not appeal to me
however the thought of being with a man as a woman(gg) reinforces my perception of myself as a woman in my fantasy.this is only one of many fantasies that I have and it is just that,A FANTASY not reallity.most fanatasies are destroyed by acting them out in reallity(for me anyway)
besides who wouldn't want to experience sex the way the other half does,if only for comparison.I hope this gives you some insight as to how at least one cd feels.
jenny

ps.don't hesitate to pm me if you would like to discuss it further
pps.I am single,but if I were in a committed relationship I would no longer feel the need to fantasize about being with someone else.

Khriss

01-10-2008, 03:45 AM

I'm into "femmininity " mainly
while I've fantacies about Women Bodybuilders ... submissive desires perhaps ..xx "K"

Jan W

01-10-2008, 03:47 AM

Dear Sarahkatie,

It would seem that we are not being told the absolute truth would it not?

Ema1234 GG

01-10-2008, 04:12 AM

Sarahkatie

Unfortunately you will read many things on here that contradict each other. I don't think you can single out CD's and say that the majority are only attracted to women, or that the majority fantasise about having sex with men. Perhaps one of the main reasons for this is that sometimes they don't know what they truely want.

Also, there is an element of saying what they think is most apt for the situation. When telling their partners, many profess to be the same person they have always been, yet may then go again to consider themselves as a different person when dressed (hence the need to be treated like a woman). :rolleyes:

Kate Simmons

01-10-2008, 04:53 AM

You have to realize that this is basically a fantasy premise, so fantasy abounds and the wish is a fantasy. Kind of like a married woman always looking for the dashing young hero on a white horse to come and take her away to live happily ever after. They know it's just a dream and will never happen but the thought brings out the "princess" in every little girl and so the fantasy. Nothing wrong with that but is she going to tell her SO? Uh, uh, no way because she loves her SO, fantasy notwithstanding.

The Forum is like a fantasy land to many of us in many ways and sometimes the way to deal with these fantasies is get them out on "paper" and out of our head. It does not mean we will really act on them, it just means we have a dream, albeit an "impossible" one. If we were taken to task about the things we dream about, we would no doubt all be in trouble. In any case, I feel it's somewhat theraputic and the Forum is the place to discuss it.:happy:

Mary Morgan

01-10-2008, 05:15 AM

When you start with "What if ..." then the answers are going to be as speculative and hypothetical as the question. My answer came from two places. First, I would want to find out for myself about the mystic of female orgasm. Second, I cannot think of anything more exciting than having a child. Of course with only 24 hours as a woman, I was hoping the pregnancy would extend that time. Hey, it was just a what if. As for being attracted to men, no way, but if I WERE a woman, who know?

Vicky_Scot

01-10-2008, 05:22 AM

Sexual orientation

The direction of one's sexual interest toward members of the same, opposite, or both sexes.

Gender

The condition of being female or male; sex.

I am going to get on my soap box as I usually do when this subject raises its head.

Sexual orientation and gender are two completely different things. When you crossdress this does not change your sexual orientation. If you are straight you do not become gay because you slip into a dress. If you are straight you do not become Bi Sexual because you slip into a dress.

If you are attracted to men, women or both when you dress then sorry, but you are attracted to men, women or both when you do not dress. Do not use dressing as an excuse to hide your true sexual orientation.

I am attracted to women when not dressed, I am attracted to women when I dress.................so I would be a lesbian.

Kind regards

Xx Vicky xX

Kelsy

01-10-2008, 05:28 AM

I think That in many cases CDs are in flux or even denial about who they really are and what they would really like or want to be. Many have not discovered and/or have repressed their true desire to transiton. Some deny their homosexual desires. There is so much we hide. The challenge atleast for me is being more honest about myself. That being said, If I were a real woman I would be a hetrosexual one , knowing what I know now I think I would be lesbian.

:2c:Kelsy

Amy Hepker

01-10-2008, 05:33 AM

I am only into Females, I can't stand to be around guys.

Joy Carter

01-10-2008, 05:43 AM

Vicky_Scot

01-10-2008, 06:35 AM

Sarah, If you were given the keys to a 08' Corvette, could you resist turning the key, and driving away ? I couldn't, even if I had it only for twenty four hours. I don't see how that makes one gay, or untruthful.

So if someone put a gun in your hand, you could not resist pulling the trigger.

IMO, your theory is total nonesense Joy.

sara_also

01-10-2008, 06:59 AM

The Question ask "if you were a GG"..not if you are a crossdresser,tg,or other..
So keeping that in mind it would seem natural to want to be with the other gender. Would it not? Just my :2c:

01-10-2008, 08:45 AM

Hi Sarahkatie

well joy ask what would we do with 24hours as a gg,. the short answer having sex as a woman , but i can understand that , you see you have to think like a guy .thats the key .. you see if we could get in to the gg section and ask you what would do if you were a male for 24 hours ?... now i said shop and socialize as a woman from my point of view total 100% acceptance as a woman how cool is that enjoy lunch and a good chat ..sorry sex is highly overrated :p

Teresa Amina

01-10-2008, 08:55 AM

If you were given the keys to a 08' Corvette, could you resist turning the key, and driving away ?

I don't like Corvettes :D

dianarg

01-10-2008, 09:08 AM

I think they must assume that being attracted to men is part of the package of being a GG for a day

Lora Olivia

01-10-2008, 10:05 AM

sheesh the hangups we have....if you were a GG for a day and wanted sex, then if you wanted it with a woman that would be a homosexual relationship:eek:...i just wish that everyone could experience both worlds once without all the hangups that societal pressures put on it....sex is sex and humans are one animal that does it just for pleasure and not just procreation...it feels good:D and it does whether it is with the same or opposite gender...oh this is just my :2c: and I consider myself ambisexual...either hand will do:heehee:

Elizabeth Ann

01-10-2008, 10:51 AM

Sarah,

If you will allow me to be a boring statistical wonk for a moment, this whole issue highlights an irritation I have with unsupportable inferences often made on this site. In many cases, such as this one, people take anecdotal information and generalize to some greater conclusions.

More specifically, this forum currently has 6,979 active members (according to the home page). Of those, the 53 who felt most strongly about Joy's question took the effort to respond. This is not a random sample of the forum members, and no statistically significant conclusions can be drawn.

If you want to know the technical issue, it is called Adverse Selection Bias. People self select themselves into a group. A simplistic example is insurance: suppose half the people drive recklessly and have accidents costing $10,000. The other half drive carefully and have no accidents. Since the average cost per driver is $5,000, an insurance company offers a policy for $5,000. What happens? All the reckless drivers buy it and the careful drivers do not, resulting in "adverse selection" problems for the insurance company.

I can easily imagine that 50 of the 7,000 forum members would like to be a GG and have sex with a man. About all you can say is that this says something about 0.7% of the forum members.

Elizabeth

docrobbysherry

01-10-2008, 12:05 PM

I'll have MY fantasy, and u have yours! Please don't tell me how to have it, or not have it.

My whole CDing experience is a pretty much fantasy. And OMG, I love this fantasy! When I fantasize about a change in my physical sexual condition, I don't fantasize about a change in who I am. Because I'm always the same person, dressed or not.

In my fantasies, it is ALWAYS ME, enjoying my new body. Imagining I am another person enjoying a new body, is not fun for me! My fantasies always involve female parts. Whether I have them, Sherry has them or a GG has them. However, if others need to change their outlook, as well as their body, to enjoy their fantasies, I have no problem with that! Because it's their fantasy, not mine.
RS

sarahkatie

01-10-2008, 12:19 PM

Well, while I stayed up extra late to see any replies, and didnt get any right away, I should have gotten up early instead lol ... How to respond to everything I want to???hmmmmm

Elizabeth ann, I guess I know that 53 is only a tiny part of the cding population and so it isnt an accurate poll;-) .... The curiosity was there though, and so I apoligize that my question didnt acknowlegde that. Thanks for pointing it out though ... :-) I probably wouldnt that truly remembered that fact.

I understand the idea of it being fantasy ... I guess though that that is where I really start having troubles. Distinguishing which is fantasy, and which is sincere beliefs. I guess I do sort of have a black/white viewpoint when it comes truth and lies/playacting. At least initially ....

I guess the fantasy is my biggest beef with cding. I can support and enjoy my dh's cding as long as the 'fantasy' always involves a place for the spouse. Is that putting limitations on my dh? Yes, but I also put that limitaion on my own fantasies. I think there is maybe something wrong with living in a fantasy world where the person you have pledged you life to doesnt have a equal contibution. Hmmmmmm........ that isnt even totally accurate ..... I guess if I am not included, it feels like he is leaving me ... like abandonment ... or even cheating(with an idea) .... This is all stuff my dh and I have talked about, in various conversations, and I am lucky that he wants me there, above all.

I know that not all cders have so's, so a lot of this may not apply .... or I may sound preachy ... sorry, thinking out loud:-)

Thank you all of you who replied .... definitely food for thought ... although i know that until I know some of you, and just all over have more experience I am going to have trouble distinguishing between what is fantasy and what is reality for some.

Shoot, I hate growing up:-)LOL It takes to long:tongueout

smiles ....

sarahkatie

01-10-2008, 12:22 PM

Hi Sarahkatie

now i said shop and socialize as a woman from my point of view total 100% acceptance as a woman how cool is that enjoy lunch and a good chat ..sorry sex is highly overrated :p

Sex IS totally overrated ....

kim85

01-10-2008, 12:33 PM

So, I am confused about something .... Joy Carter asked the ladies what would they do with 24hours as a gg, and a bunch said sex ... my perception that most of those were talking about sex with men ....

The part I am confused about is that everything I have heard/read has said that guys who cd are almost always only attracted to other women, but it didnt seem that way. Maybe I am totally misunderstanding the responses ... I know I am missing a bunch of it anyway, just becuase I am a gg, but I figured this would be the only way to get clarification since the post said m2f only ..... Anybody willing to tackle my confusion??? I mean, i always thought that cders were attracted to women ... so the les bar makes sense .... but the other ???? dare I say gay???? Okay, that is as brave as I get, I know I am using the wrong termanology, but I dont know how else to ask the question.

Sorry/thanks/smiles
sarahkatie

I'll have MY fantasy, and u have yours! Please don't tell me how to have it, or not have it.

Sherry i dont think the point of this question was to tell you what your fantays must consist of it is simply a GG who is confused about something. As as we are always told that we simply dont understand yet when we ask for clarification on something we are told that we are wrong to ask. I feel that you may have mis-read whay sarahkatie was asking.
Kim
xxx

docrobbysherry

01-10-2008, 12:58 PM

Sherry i dont think the point of this question was to tell you what your fantays must consist of it is simply a GG who is confused about something. As as we are always told that we simply dont understand yet when we ask for clarification on something we are told that we are wrong to ask. I feel that you may have mis-read whay sarahkatie was asking.
Kim
xxx

Not only did I not know she was a GG, she's a nubie, at that! I assumed she was another confused CD. ( What CD isn't a confused CD?)

Katie, I don't have an SO rite now. But I CAN appreciate how mine mite worry about my CDing. I feel I'm getting maximum enjoyment from closet CDing, but how would she know that? What if I suddenly wanted to go out and meet other CD's? I could tell her I don't want to, but what if I change my mind? Change, seems to be normal among CD's.

How could she be sure I wouldn't want to make my Cd fantasy life become a real life adventure? I don't know if she ever could!
But, open, honest communication is the best way to keep up with what each of u is feeling! Hang in there as best as u can, dear! My sympathies r with u, and every other CD's SO!
RS

sarahkatie

01-10-2008, 01:09 PM

no problem .....
sk

AmandaM

01-10-2008, 01:19 PM

Welp, if I was a woman, I'd want to do all the "woman things" I don't do now. That's it. Get the full experience. Then, I would really know what it's like to be a woman.

Jennaie

01-10-2008, 05:04 PM

I did not read the thread as a serious thread. I don't think Joy intended it as such. It was certainly not posted to place unwarranted fear in the minds of GG's about their SO's.

My response to the thread was intended in humor and if read otherwise I apologize for not making it clear that was the case.

Truth is, if I woke up female, completely female, I would be in shock. After looking at my body in the mirror and hearing my female voice. I would probably slip on a pair jeans, a shirt and some tennis shoes and head for the nearest women's clothing store. Lucky for me that as a GG I can go to the mall totally dressed in mens clothing and not a single person would bat an eye.

First, a bra, what size do I need? Next, slacks and blouses. Run to the dressing room with three sizes of each, hoping I guessed close. A look in the three-way mirror, hmmm... do these slacks make my butt look too big? After purchasing a small but workable wardrobe along with some jewelry, shoes, and a few purses, I head to the makup counter.

I suddenly get scared as hell. What if I have a period, OMG. I run to a store and buy some tampons. I finish my shopping with a makeover and head home. I call my very best female friend and tell her what has happened. I beg her to come over and help me, I don't know what to do.

She arrives to find me pacing the floor. At first she does not believe me, she thinks that a joke is being played on her. (by the way, my best female friend is a lipstick lesbian). I reveal secrets that she has told me and she realizes that I am who I say I am. She laughs at me and says, damn girl, you look hot! I blush and smile at her replying, please be serious, I'm in trouble here, I don't know how to be a woman! Looks like your doing a damn good job of it so far.

It goes on and on. You see, it's all a fantasy and it's all in fun. I don't really know what the hell I would do if I were to wake up a GG suddenly. I just speculate what it might be like and of course, I always look at the good side of what life would be like as a GG. The other side is always greener, so to speak.

As far as sex with men is concerned, ummm.... GG's don't have gay sex with men, they have gay sex with women. Have you never wondered what it would be like to be a man and have sex with a woman?

sarahkatie

01-10-2008, 05:24 PM

Jennaie,

All I can say in response to that is Thank you. Thank you for giving a serious, honest, thoughtout answer .... Thanks to everyone. It is kind of a heady feeling to be somewhere where I can shoot out a question and there are whole bunches of people to answer.

sk-gg

01-10-2008, 05:30 PM

Sex IS totally overrated ....

aww thank you Sara !!! next time your in Canada lets do lunch & shop :heehee:

Joy Carter

01-10-2008, 06:08 PM

So if someone put a gun in your hand, you could not resist pulling the trigger.

IMO, your theory is total nonesense Joy.

If you had the wheel of a Corvette, what would be the logical thing to do ? Put The Top Down ? Rev the engine ? Drive to the nearest open highway and open it up maybe ?????
If I were a woman I'd do the one thing I can't do as a male. And that would be to have sex with a male. What is so hard to understand ?

And Vicky what I gave is an analogy not a theory Hun.

Julogden

01-10-2008, 06:16 PM

Raquel June

01-10-2008, 06:18 PM

I didn't reply in the original thread, because I didn't really put much thought into how I would act.

Let me give you some insight into how I feel about sex, though. I don't think I speak for the majority of CDs. I know I don't speak for a large part of the male population. So I guess it's irrelevant, but I'll talk about it anyway :)

I experience sex very vicariously. It's not some kind of out of body experience, but I really like pushing a girl's buttons. And while some women don't make me all hot, the majority of women I've been with, I just love everything about the sex. I love the way they feel, the way they smell, the way they taste... I love it when a girl starts to get sweaty between her breasts or on the back of her neck. I love the little moans. I love when a good girl is so hot (and maybe a little frustrated) that she says something really bad (although I absolutely HATE forced dirty talk). But anway, when it comes to what I actually like doing sexually, there's really nothing specific I'm into. What turns me on the most is turning her on, so whatever is her favorite thing becomes my favorite thing. My last girlfriend was so into me giving her oral (and sooooo flattering with the things she would say about my ... uhh ... technique ...) that I had to be careful because I could have an orgasm just by going down on her (although she would be disappointed if there wasn't a little regular sex afterwards).

I don't think men are sexually attractive, but if I became a woman for a day I would really want to close my eyes and have a guy push all my buttons as a woman.

But I love feeling close to a woman so much that if I actually became a women I think I would have very little time to do anything before I collapsed like a neutron star of self-satisfaction.

Sex IS totally overrated ....

Allow me to go off on a tangent for a second.

Yeah, a lot of GGs think sex is overrated. Not many genetic males. Girls think they understand what it means to want sex, but they really have no idea.

Think about this for a second. A lot of guys don't get explained much about the birds/bees, and when they hit puberty, they basically stumble into masturbation. This is much more true in the past than today, at least in the US, but still...

Regardless, there are many young boys who think they are seriously injuring themselves when they masturbate and/or that they may be condemning themselves to an eternity in hell by doing it. And even if they think their penis is going to fall off and they're going to burn in hell, they still don't stop. There's too much of a drive. And it really doesn't diminish that much until you're much older.

If you still had the brain/hormones of a man but you were given the body of a woman for a day, you'd have to be extremely homophobic to not try really hard to hook up with a guy. At the very least you'd stare in the mirror and play with yourself for about as long as you possibly could.

Jilmac

01-10-2008, 06:29 PM

My Dear SarahKatie, I can only speak for myself on this issue. I am truly a heterosexual male who adores heterosexual females. When asked by both my therapist and my wife if I ever had a desire to have sex with another man, this was my response.

If I were to have gender reassignment surgery (sex change), my love and adoration for women wouldn't change, thus if I had sex as a woman it would be with another woman in a lesbian relationship. So even when I'm Jill I have no desire to be with a man.

I have been dressing since age 15, I'm 62 now and still enjoying sex with the opposite sex. I have some gay friends who are nothing more than friends, and they know I'm straight, and we respect each others sexual orientation.

Luv and :hugs: Jill

Raquel June

01-10-2008, 06:30 PM

Hi Sarahkatie,

Based on spending a lot of time in the company of all sorts of CD's when I was active in a couple support groups, I feel that the "fact" that CD's are mostly heterosexual is not true. In my experience, there is a very high incidence of bisexuality among MTF CD's, much higher than among non-CD's, so it doesn't surprise me that a lot of the responses indicated that they'd want to try sex with a man.:2c:

Carol

That's certainly true. In my limited experience, I have found that drag queens are almost all gay, but CDs are mostly bisexual. They have a lot of confusion, because they love women so much they can't be totally gay, but they like feminine things so much they can't be totally straight. The CDs who are in relationships with women fall into several categories. Some are married, satisfied and monogamous. Some are married bisexual swingers. Some appear to be closet gays in a bad relationship with a woman. Many just don't understand their own sexuality in the slightest.

Many CDs are just extremely sexually flexible and love their family, so while they may not be totally straight, they are perfectly capable of maintaining a decent quality family life with their wife and kids, and not necessarily unsatisfied at all by that life.

AmberTG

01-10-2008, 06:51 PM

So if someone put a gun in your hand, you could not resist pulling the trigger.

IMO, your theory is total nonesense Joy.

You bet I'd want to pull the trigger! But you see, just as driving a fast, powerful car can be dangerous and requires a driver with common sense and some thought of safety, so does firing a gun, which is why we have target ranges, just as we have roads. A proper place for each tool.
As for the question of the thread, I would have to agree that, for the most part, cding is just a fantasy activity. For those of us who are transgendered, it's hard to say what sex we are attracted to, and how to label it. We're all different.

CLARRISA

01-10-2008, 07:13 PM

I go along with Jennydl's Logic. Its a fantasy, and in that fantasy you are a woman, sexual orientation of you the person in Reality doesn't change but in the fantasy YOU are not YOU any more your're a woman like any other and if you go with a man (in FANTASY Skirt Lover! in FANTASY) then you're a hetereosexual woman fullfilling her feminine heterosexual desires, its nothing to do with some repressed homosexuality, 2 men together just doesn't do it for me, there has to be a woman involved. I just wish i was the woman.

AmandaM

01-10-2008, 07:57 PM

vivianann

01-11-2008, 03:42 AM

I do not have any desire to have sex with a man, that is why I did not say anthing about having sex in my reply, if I were a woman I dont think I could have sex with a man, so I might end up being a lesbian. I have such an overpowering sexual attraction to GG's that I cant even imagine having sex with a man. Having sex with a woman is the only thing as a man that I truely enjoy. that is my perspective.

Kate Simmons

01-11-2008, 04:08 AM

Whenever this question is asked, my thoughts invariably go to what happened in the final episode of the original Star Trek series in the episode entitled "Turnabout Intruder" wherin the dashing Capt. Kirk was transformed into a woman for a day(more or less) when his ex flame Dr. Janice Lester swirched bodies with him. I thought "he" did quite well myself and always wondered what I would do in a similar situation. Since I already have the wardrobe, it wouldn't be that big of a deal but I may have a hard time explaining what happened to Rich. Either way, I think I'd take it all in stride.;):happy:

Valeria

01-11-2008, 05:58 AM

The Question ask "if you were a GG"..not if you are a crossdresser,tg,or other..
So keeping that in mind it would seem natural to want to be with the other gender. Would it not?
Only if you view being gay or lesbian as "unnatural". :straightface:

Welp, if I was a woman, I'd want to do all the "woman things" I don't do now. That's it. Get the full experience. Then, I would really know what it's like to be a woman.
FWIW, neither my life partner ("FAB") or myself (post-op trans woman) have ever had sex with a man. Neither have a lot of my lesbian friends. So I don't see having sex with a man as being integral to the experience of being a woman. That makes it sound like we women need men to complete us.

Just adding the lesbian perspective. :happy: