My Brother In Law found out....

[aliciatv1]

Hi girls! So, the other day my supportive wife tells me that her brother had figured out that I was a crossdresser. This took me by surprise, and I'm not sure what to do. We own a restaurant with him and he lives in our city too. It seems that he is ok with it so far, but it kind of freaks me out still. My wifes sister figured it out on her last visit recently too. I guess it was the waxed legs on that one. Any thoughts will be appreciated. Thanks.

Alicia

[Shannen]

I'm the kind of person that "wants" to talk things out. Since your wife is supportive I think you should both sit down with her siblings and explain that what you are doing is OK with her. Most bad reactions I've heard of revolve around families being fearful of the "wierdo".

If I were in that situation I would explain that my wife and I enjoy my crossdressing, but that for obvious reasons we would appreciate them allowing us to control who else is told. Answer any questions they have and go on with life.... what are your choices really?

Having said all that, I'm glad my brother-in-law doesn't know...

Good luck handling the situation. You've got a great support system here!

-Shannen

[Megan70]

Let it go, don't bring it up unless they do, you could be volunteering too much information, too soon. If they DO bring it up ask them if they were willing to have a mature discussion on the matter and you'd be happy to talk about it and answer any questions, and enlightment them.
The old "let them make the first move" bit.
Megan70

[Shelly Preston]

If they dont seem to have a problem dont do anything

Why create more problems

I feel sure as long as its not affecting business they wont care

[Sandra]

Your BIL may want to talk but is nervous of making the move. I would suggest a get together for a chat, I wouldn't go alone though have your wife with you.
Hope it works out ok for you.

[charlie]

Hello Alicia!
My advice, just let sleeping dogs lie. If your brother in law was going to make a deal of it you would have heard about it by now. Just go on as normal. If you say anything you have verified their suspicions and will be bringing the subject up to cernter stage status. Let it be and it will just not be an issue.

[Eugenie]

Alicia,

If your brother in law and your sister in law now know, it doesn't seem that you really have a choice...

At this point in your situation, it seems better that they get proper information directly from you and your wife rather than starting to imagin all sorts of things about your x-dressing by themselves or via some rotten internet website...

The suggestion I would make, in order to do that, is to have a talk between them, your wife and you to explain things, and perhaps better let them ask any questions they want about your x-dressing. Of course the choice of time and place to do that must be carefully chosen...

Life should be a lot easier after that for the four of you...

By the way, even though your picture is very small, you look great "en femme". This should help you being accepted as you seem to look very feminine naturally...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

HOW did he find out is what i want to know??

its so much easyer when everyone u know knows u dress, like me :D

[Daphne7]

can you tell us more about how the brother in law figured it out?

As a GG if my brother talked to me about my hubby CDing i would say something along the lines of: "no,*chuckle* what makes you think that?" As is it though, my hubby prefers to keep his CDing a secret between the two of us. I would have to be in a court of law before I'd tell the truth about the issue. Its not my secret to tell. But your life situation may be different than mine regarding this. Which is why i wonder about what actually happened to cause the brother-in-law to figure it out. Did he find some clothes, see you out dressed, did friends of his see you out dressed... did it just slip out when your wife was chatting with her brother...?

given that he now knows, how you choose to handle it depends on your relationship with him and what kind of guy he is. He might he the kind of guy that says "to each there own" - and that would be great!

[aliciatv1]

Thanks to all of you for your responses. He found out on his own, my wife did not tell him. He watches our son alot when we aren't home and I guess I was careless. I also have no body hair and he may have picked up on that too. I have been kind of wanting to just not care what others think and I believe this may be a step in the right direction for me. I wish I knew exactly what tipped him off too. Maybe I'll ask. He has talked with my wife about it and is mostly concerned about our relationship, which is GREAT by the way!

Alicia

[Susan.]

Obviously there are lots of ways he could have found out. I'd guess your wife's sister. But he probably wouldn't have mentioned anything to your wife unless he was pretty sure.

[nancyjtv]

My suggestion is since your wife is supportive maybe you need to include you in what you should do. She may be able to better know how her brother will handle it.

Nancy

[Holly]

Tell him you can help out now more in the business by waiting tables.:heehee: I agree with Eugenie that you and your wife should sit down and put it out on the table. The general public has such a distorted idea of transgenderism... mostly what theyve seen on Jerry Spring and the like. You sound like you are pretty secure in your self image, That makes it so much easier when you go to tell your firends and family. Best wishes. Let us know how it goes.

[pntyhslvr2]

When I was married about 17 years ago, my wife was not really into me dressing, but, put up with it. Some how, one of her 5 brothers found out. I think she told him. He called me panty boy for a long time. I'm really surprized that none of the rest of her brothers or family found out. It's also surprizing that after all of this time that we are not together, my ex-wife is my biggest supporter. I call her all of the time. She is one of the only one who knows. I recently started a post about my son bargeing in on me all the time and what I should do. One of the responses was to come clean and tell him. She(ex-wife) said I should also. I have decided to tell him. Mybee sometimes it's not bad for"some" people to know. Might make it easier on you.

[susie evans]

i would knot worry about it unless he say's some thing then i would tell him the truth and every thing will work it's self out (we hope) :hugs:

susie

[danam]

I think whether it is "lightening" or a harmless "lightening bug" depends on how you handle it. If confronted, the manly guy thing to say is, "It totally turns me on...what do you do? Don't tell me you don't have some weird fetish yourself. You probably like <insert nasty thing here>" You know, make it an in-your-face-I'm-a-guy-so-I-like-sex-too kind of thing. Then you are still a regular guy. You just like to dress up. No big deal. That approach at least confirms your masculinity when it comes to dealing with public life.

Of course, this is all just theory...because I haven't been caught...yet.

[SiobhanW]

My suggestion would be to leave it alone unless something else is said. But it kinda sounds to me that the only concrete fact he has right now is that you shave/wax your body hair. Does he not realize how fashionable that look is at the moment? Perhaps he should be made aware of it.

If he's become aware of it by something more concrete like snooping around your stuff at the house, I suggest that he not be allowed back. Someone without the morals and character to stay out of your private things has no business in your house, and certainly none in helping to raise your child!

[Vickygogirl]

I think whether it is "lightening" or a harmless "lightening bug" depends on how you handle it. If confronted, the manly guy thing to say is, "It totally turns me on...what do you do? Don't tell me you don't have some weird fetish yourself. You probably like <insert nasty thing here>" You know, make it an in-your-face-I'm-a-guy-so-I-like-sex-too kind of thing. Then you are still a regular guy. You just like to dress up. No big deal. That approach at least confirms your masculinity when it comes to dealing with public life.

.

Ha ha this is more or less what i said to my friend last week on holiday, he was wondering about my shaven arms, and i told him i had a hobby, showed him a picture of me en femme on my phone. He was over the moon that i could talk to him about something like this!! Anyway it turns out him and his GF are into "swinging" big time.:heehee: