Need some suggestions Girls!!!

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Being a CD is not always easy, at least for me. This forum has been an integral part of my growth as a Crossdresser. I have improved my look enough to feel confident enough to put my picture in an avatar. But, the fact that I am a man who wants to dress as a woman creates difficulties. I can dress in my home. But after a while, it becomes boring, and the desire to go out becomes stronger. Especially if i have been out a few times. So I wrestle with the fear of being discovered, and satisfying this need that I did not ask for. So I think to myself, become freinds with some girls like me, I can talk to them, and get a better understanding of myself, and possibly help another girl who is trying to do the same. Now, I understand that this is a secret that we do not want to share with everyone. We have our jobs, families, reputations. So I understand when other girls are guarded about becoming freindly. We have to be careful. But it just becomes frustrating. I looked into joining a support group, but the majority of the meetings are so far from my home. I live in the central NJ area.
I do not know what to do. Do I continue on this path of discovering my femanine self? Or do I discontinue dressing all together. I know that if I purge my wardrobe i will regret it. Im not doing that!! I just need some suggestions. Thanks.:surrender

[ericalynncd]

I'm in the same boat. The nearest support group is 100 mi. away, and there isn't anyone in my area that would understand.

[lisa_cd2007]

Even the most understanding people dont understand why we have this urge - hell I dont either. The options are lousy. I would be happy to have the freedom to inhabit both worlds - dress sometimes but continue my regular life most of the time - unfortunately, its naive to think one can do both easily.

Lisa

[tricia_uktv]

Girls, this is a sad thread. Are there no gay bars where you can go and be accepted?

[uknowhoo]

Hiya Jennifer. :hugs:

Though it's an hour away, I go to support group meetings at least 3 or 4 times a year now. I also attended the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta in September. Though it was only a few days, it was so very satisfying in so many ways. :c9: There are other conferences as well, including Be-All in Chicago and another (the name of which escapes me) which I believe is in Philly (not too, too far 4 u).

Still, all in all, this is my major connection to the CDing world. I've become friends with a number of girls here, and talk with several on a regular basis. It really helps with that yucky isolation thingy. As you may know, there is a Meeting Place forum here - http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=7 which might be an avenue to investigate. There are thousands of girls on this site, many from your area. Obviously you have to be careful in proceeding, but I'm sure you can find a friend or two.

I know it can be frustrating, but I couldn't imagine giving it up at this point.


Good luck, and take care. :hugs:

xoxo

Tammi

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

I'm in the same boat. The nearest support group is 100 mi. away, and there isn't anyone in my area that would understand,,,,then move to Phoenix:D

there is a bar i go to, its so close i ride my bicycle in the summer to it while in mini skirts and 4 inch heels, and ALWAYS in pantyhose:D

[jennydl]

HI jennifer,is there someone you can talk to one on one?by pm or in person.
jennydl

[Carla Mel]

Jennifer, I highly recomend you to in trying to find some friend.
Crossdresser alone, don't go anywhere. Perhaps some sexual arousal, vanishing as times go by, but missing the pleasure to be outside.
With internet it is easier to find out places, and people.
If you follow stricly some security rules I bet you can make friends.
If you discover a place where eventually you could go, go first as a man, and judge by yourself if it is safe for you as a crossdresser.
If you meet somebody in the internet, don't hurry write lengthly to him if it's fake or dangerous, will become tired, or made some revealing mistake. And the first meeting has to happen in a public place, starbucks or whatever....
I'm sorry for you about the distance, but must be somebody nearby, don't give up.
Kisses
Carla

[Eugenie]

I know the problem... There are no groups in my area and I don't want to go out in my home town.

The way I compensate for this is allowing myself some short periods away from home to go to meetings at least a few times a year.

Otherwise, I have a few CD friends which I meet in Brussels (1500 miles away from my home) We go to restaurants together and that is giving me great satisfaction.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[dianarg]

Being a CD is not always easy, at least for me. This forum has been an integral part of my growth as a Crossdresser. I have improved my look enough to feel confident enough to put my picture in an avatar. But, the fact that I am a man who wants to dress as a woman creates difficulties. I can dress in my home. But after a while, it becomes boring, and the desire to go out becomes stronger. Especially if i have been out a few times. So I wrestle with the fear of being discovered, and satisfying this need that I did not ask for. So I think to myself, become freinds with some girls like me, I can talk to them, and get a better understanding of myself, and possibly help another girl who is trying to do the same. Now, I understand that this is a secret that we do not want to share with everyone. We have our jobs, families, reputations. So I understand when other girls are guarded about becoming freindly. We have to be careful. But it just becomes frustrating. I looked into joining a support group, but the majority of the meetings are so far from my home. I live in the central NJ area.
I do not know what to do. Do I continue on this path of discovering my femanine self? Or do I discontinue dressing all together. I know that if I purge my wardrobe i will regret it. Im not doing that!! I just need some suggestions. Thanks.:surrender

I know exactly how you feel, many of us struggle with acceptance. I live in north Jersey and the closest support group is an hour away, there are not many here. I been to the triess chapter (and because I was Diana, it took me longer, as I used the less populated roads :)

[KELLYANN]

HI JENNIFER! PLEASE DO NOT FEEL ALONE. I MET ONE PERSON ON THIS SITE AND WE CONNECTED. IT WENT SO VERY WELL FROM THERE. NOW MANY NEW "GIRLFRIENDS" we live far and between, but get together when we can. SO MUCH FUN!

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Thanks girls. It is comforting to know that there are some others out there that feel the same way as me. I have met some other girls from this forum. I like them, and I admire their attitude. But I think that they are busy. Its hard to get in touch with them. I have been speaking with other girls, and they seem nice. Hopefully a nice freindship will blossom from one of them. There is a gay club that is TG freindly near me, but do not like the club scene too much. Although the people there are so freindly. Especially the other T-Girls. Wish I can talk with other girls in a quieter setting.
Thanks for the replies girls. Please keep them coming its helping.:love:

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Jennifer. The nice thing about the club I go to is that is has two bars, one upstairs where the stage and dance floor is (where I normally hang out) and a smaller one downstairs where they generally have the karaoke and is a little more laid back. The folks are nice for the most part and really don't bat an eyelash at us. Plus they have two CD/TG theme weekends, one in the Spring and one in the Fall. The next one is in May if anyone is interested in coming. Usually a lot of gals there from all over.:happy:

[Sonia_cd]

Jennifer honey, I think I compeltely get where you are coming from. Finding yourself alone and wanting company on the path of discovery or just someone to share your crossdressing with is a perfectly valid and natural feeling in one's path of crossdressing. At least, that's my take on it. Please do not give up or try to stop dressing for we all know how well that turns out...like most of my new years resolutions!!

I live in India and have yet to meet another crossdresser. As for support groups or meetings of crossdressers, let's just say they are practically non-existent. So I completely get the sense of frustration that comes from being unable to share, talk and express the side of oneself that is crying to be let out every now and then. My suggestion is to keep on the path of awareness and discovery and to trust your instinct. Keep eveolving your personality and look and you'll find ways to blend the two without anyone knowing. Along the way I am sure you will meet similar people with whom a bond will develop and friends will be found. Until then....:hugs:

Take care...

[Angie G]

If you think stopping will help give it a try. but I don't think it will. If you are able to make the drive to a meeting somewhere If it that far maybe get a room for the night :hugs: :hugs:
Angie

[bEEb]

Girls, this is a sad thread. Are there no gay bars where you can go and be accepted?
:eek:
I would rather stop dressing all together, than go to a gay bar just to meet another CD.
Being spotted in a dress by our vanilla friends would be a problem for many of us. Being seen coming and going to a gay bar would be a disaster.

[DonnaT]

Well, besides a support group or a bar scene, just go out. Be yourself, and if that is in fem mode, so what? You don't have to do it near to home, if you are worried. I imagine there are other cities near you.

Go to a museum, a movie, a bookstore, shopping.

If it's companionship you need, then get to know those who do go to the trans friendly clubs you know of. I imagine you could raise a discussion of your desire to simply be out in public presenting in fem mode, and being accompanied by someone of like mind. It's likely one or more of the girls live close enough to you, that if they are of like mind, would be glad for a chance to get out together.

Also, if you joined a support group, chances are that someone there may live closer to you and desire the same thing.

Thing is, you have to get out there and talk to them. They aren't going to just appear on your doorstep.

[kimberly ann487]

My situation may be even more perplexing. As a hetro CD I have no interest in gay bars at all, plus my enfeme development is not to the out and about stage. I am happy to dress at home alone but this slows my advancement, also I would love to meet other girls, it's a real catch-22.:(
KIM

[DonnaT]

As a hetro CD I have no interest in gay bars at all,

What does being hetero have to do with it? If it's a trans friendly bar, and there are other girls that go there to socialize with each other, then there's no need to worry about whether or not it's a gay bar.

I drive down to Richmond, occasionally, and there are at least three gay or lesbian bars that are trans friendly, where a number of trans gals hangout. Most of the gay guys have no designs on trying to pick up the gals. Every once in a while, there may be an interest, but a simple no thank you will put many of them off. A few are simply being friendly and showing acceptance.

A word to management, the bar tender, or a bouncer regarding persistent unwanted advances will usually take care of that.

[kimberly ann487]

What does being hetero have to do with it?

Thanks for the input Donna, personally I don't have a problem with them, I guess it's the perseption of others that worries me.
KIM:hugs:

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

There is a gay bar that is Trasgender freindly near me and I will be going again. The people are freindly, and there are other T-Girls there. I do not favor the club scene. But what was nice about it was that this CD could walk around the club and outside, and not get a second look. I am not 100% passable. So just being able to do this makes it worth it for me.
Another thing I heard is that some gay and lesbian crowds do not like CD's, so I keep that in the back of my mind. I actually though of going there on a fri or sat, but was concerned about the crowd. This is something that can be investigated easily. And I agree that they will not appear on my doorstep. I have to get into action.
Also, I have though about going out in public, but feel that i could be read very easliy.

[Mitch23]

a couple of folks have said words to the effect that 'noone in my community will understand' i tend to disagree because in every community there are people who understand - you've just got to get out and find them. and the more you get out, the more you will find. You've just got to do it - there is no other way

mitch

[renee k]

a couple of folks have said words to the effect that 'noone in my community will understand' i tend to disagree because in every community there are people who understand - you've just got to get out and find them. and the more you get out, the more you will find. You've just got to do it - there is no other way

mitch

Hi Jen,

I highly recommend what mitch had to say. Get out there and network and meet people with our interests. I joined a support group here in Detriot a few years back met alot great people who helped me find my way and I have grown as person from doing that. I've also met several other girls a TG night spot here in Detroit and have made a couple of nice friendships from there. And done things outside of that venue. So get out there let yourself grow and enjoy!!

Huggs, Renee

[MsToriJones]

I thought I had replied but could not find it when I came back to the computer. I was going to suggest that you possibly talk to some of the CD/TS/TG at the club and see if they would be interested in starting up a support group. Then you could find a place for lunch or dinner that is accepting and meet every so often and discuss.

[Joy Carter]

Just don't give up. There are some of out there looking as well. I have been involved in going out only just over a year. I just find that many I have talked with here, that live near me don't go out. So just stay connected and you may find some of a like mind.

[jennifer41356]

Being a CD is not always easy, at least for me. This forum has been an integral part of my growth as a Crossdresser. I have improved my look enough to feel confident enough to put my picture in an avatar. But, the fact that I am a man who wants to dress as a woman creates difficulties. I can dress in my home. But after a while, it becomes boring, and the desire to go out becomes stronger. Especially if i have been out a few times. So I wrestle with the fear of being discovered, and satisfying this need that I did not ask for. So I think to myself, become freinds with some girls like me, I can talk to them, and get a better understanding of myself, and possibly help another girl who is trying to do the same. Now, I understand that this is a secret that we do not want to share with everyone. We have our jobs, families, reputations. So I understand when other girls are guarded about becoming freindly. We have to be careful. But it just becomes frustrating. I looked into joining a support group, but the majority of the meetings are so far from my home. I live in the central NJ area.
I do not know what to do. Do I continue on this path of discovering my femanine self? Or do I discontinue dressing all together. I know that if I purge my wardrobe i will regret it. Im not doing that!! I just need some suggestions. Thanks.:surrender

I can never really bad moth support clubs because that is where I met my best friend Pam, a tgirl...we do a lot together as girls and it makes weekends more fun to have a partner to play pool with:love:

ps...damn i wish you girls live in Dallas, we need a couple of more girls for our poker night on fridays