Raquel June
01-14-2008, 03:58 AM
The only people who know about my little hobby are members of the local CD/queen/gay scene. I've got plenty good friends I spend a lot of time with doing typical manly things, and I think it's actually pretty funny when they catch something that doesn't make sense to them.
I guess it's that, while I might be a little weird, I'm plenty masculine when it comes to the ladies and none of my friends think there's actually anything gay or femme about me... enough so that they're comfortable with the standard quasi-homophobic banter you get with immature guys.
At the gym, lifting with Brian...
Brian: What's that on your shirt?
me: Sweat. I didn't wash this shirt last time.
Brian: It looks like foundation.
me: Foundation?
(I look down and notice that somehow I actually did get foundation all over the collar of an Under Armour shirt that I don't remember ever wearing outside the gym)
me: Yeah, I use it to cover up that big swastika tattoo I got on my neck in prison.
Brian: You're using it to cover up your Adam's apple, aren't you?
(Brian has commented before that I have no Adam's apple)
At my apartment, watching a movie with Matt...
(Matt is coming out of the bathroom)
Matt: You use a women's razor?
(There's a pink women's razor on the top of the trash in the bathroom)
me: Huh? No. Beth left all kinds of stuff in there. I just threw away her razor and bath puff that had been sitting in the shower for a year.
Matt: OK...
me: Dude, look in the closet.
...That was actually true, except that I threw the razor away because I had just shaved my legs with it. The closet still has a bunch of stuff my ex left -- two packages of Venus razors, a box of tampons, some shampoo/conditioner for color treated hair (mine isn't), and some clips and things for hair much longer than mine.
At a Chinese buffet with Matt last weekend ... Matt is kinda stoned, I only had a two small hits...
(Matt is a little paranoid, and keeps talking about a redneck with a huge beard who keeps telling racist jokes to his wife. Matt keeps spacing out and staring at them accidentally.)
Matt: I think that guy over there called us a couple faggots.
me: That ZZ Top guy?
Matt: Yeah.
me: Well, from there he can only see my right earring. He probably thinks that means we're gay. That and my pretty blouse.
(I'm wearing a T-shirt under a fairly masculine unbuttoned black surfer shirt that has palm leaves and lillies in a few spots on it)
Matt: You got your ears pierced?
me: What, are you blind?
(I have small gold hoops in each ear. I had just gotten my ears pierced that afternoon on my lunch break. Matt kinda spaces out again staring at me)
Matt: You look pretty... feminine.
me: Well, I am pretty, unlike your mom. Am I turning you on?
(another weird pause)
Matt: Do I come off as gay?
me: I told you I'm never getting high with you again if you act gay or start crying. Stop being creepy.
I guess it's that, while I might be a little weird, I'm plenty masculine when it comes to the ladies and none of my friends think there's actually anything gay or femme about me... enough so that they're comfortable with the standard quasi-homophobic banter you get with immature guys.
At the gym, lifting with Brian...
Brian: What's that on your shirt?
me: Sweat. I didn't wash this shirt last time.
Brian: It looks like foundation.
me: Foundation?
(I look down and notice that somehow I actually did get foundation all over the collar of an Under Armour shirt that I don't remember ever wearing outside the gym)
me: Yeah, I use it to cover up that big swastika tattoo I got on my neck in prison.
Brian: You're using it to cover up your Adam's apple, aren't you?
(Brian has commented before that I have no Adam's apple)
At my apartment, watching a movie with Matt...
(Matt is coming out of the bathroom)
Matt: You use a women's razor?
(There's a pink women's razor on the top of the trash in the bathroom)
me: Huh? No. Beth left all kinds of stuff in there. I just threw away her razor and bath puff that had been sitting in the shower for a year.
Matt: OK...
me: Dude, look in the closet.
...That was actually true, except that I threw the razor away because I had just shaved my legs with it. The closet still has a bunch of stuff my ex left -- two packages of Venus razors, a box of tampons, some shampoo/conditioner for color treated hair (mine isn't), and some clips and things for hair much longer than mine.
At a Chinese buffet with Matt last weekend ... Matt is kinda stoned, I only had a two small hits...
(Matt is a little paranoid, and keeps talking about a redneck with a huge beard who keeps telling racist jokes to his wife. Matt keeps spacing out and staring at them accidentally.)
Matt: I think that guy over there called us a couple faggots.
me: That ZZ Top guy?
Matt: Yeah.
me: Well, from there he can only see my right earring. He probably thinks that means we're gay. That and my pretty blouse.
(I'm wearing a T-shirt under a fairly masculine unbuttoned black surfer shirt that has palm leaves and lillies in a few spots on it)
Matt: You got your ears pierced?
me: What, are you blind?
(I have small gold hoops in each ear. I had just gotten my ears pierced that afternoon on my lunch break. Matt kinda spaces out again staring at me)
Matt: You look pretty... feminine.
me: Well, I am pretty, unlike your mom. Am I turning you on?
(another weird pause)
Matt: Do I come off as gay?
me: I told you I'm never getting high with you again if you act gay or start crying. Stop being creepy.