So I talked to the spouse....

[MaryJane]

the spouse and i spoke about my CD this morning at 1 A.M., it was a real productive talk, we spoke about how long i have been dressing in secret. and where did i wish to go with it.

Even though she is an Avon Rep in makeup, she laid down some ground rules that as long as I follow them she will support me in dressing to include letting me order makeup through Avon and one of them is not to wear any of her dresses. :(

She has already assisted me in my first official shaving on my body and with in the week to come will alow me to start buying my own dresses :D and I can wear hers till then as long as I stick to the rules and times of her choosing. so at the moment she is supporting me :thumbsup:

I am trying to get her to photograph me so that I can get some suggestions on colors from you all but for now, here is a drink to all for the support and advice that I have read to get me to this point :drink::drink:

thank you all

[Julogden]

Hi Mary Jane,

That's great that she's willing to go along with things like that. Be sure to not push too hard, let things evolve with her at her speed.

Good luck,
Carol

[Holly]

Good news, Mary Jane. As had been already suggested here and on numerous other threads, don't press too hard, too fast. Allow your wife to get used to you. Include her in as many of your CDing activities as she is willing to participate in. Value her input to your presentation as she has a whole lot more experience in femininity and fashion than you do:D. Maybe she would like to join here as well and gain the benefits of the wisdom of our GG membership.

Best wishes to you both.

[Jennaie]

I think it's great. I would like to make a suggestion. Whenever your out shopping for yourself, keep her in mind and make sure you get something pretty for her as well. I honestly think it will go a long way. I have read too many threads telling how the cd gets too wrapped up their dressing and forgets that they have a wife who was and still is, the woman in the relationship.

[Angie G]

That's great Mary Jane go slow with this ans buy that lade some flowers :hugs:
Angie

[Billijo49504]

That's fantastic, it sure is nice having a wife that supports you, I know, mine does....BJ

[DonnaT]

That's great Mary Jane.

Since you'll be ordering your makeup through your Avon rep, I reckon she'll have to do your makeup to see what works best for you? :D

[Eugenie]

the spouse and i spoke about my CD this morning at 1 A.M., it was a real productive talk, we spoke about how long i have been dressing in secret. and where did i wish to go with it.

That's a great initiative. You must feel a lot better not having to hide. But as already said don't push too hard and don't go too fast... :2c:


Even though she is an Avon Rep in makeup, she laid down some ground rules that as long as I follow them she will support me in dressing to include letting me order makeup through Avon
You are indeed very fortunate at least on two accounts: the positive attitude of your wife first and second her professional experience with cosmetic products...

[she laid down some ground rules] and one of them is not to wear any of her dresses. :(

Well, that makes sense. Clothes are very intimate things. That was also one of the rules of my wife when I told her about my x-dressing...

She has already assisted me in my first official shaving on my body and with in the week to come will alow me to start buying my own dresses :D and I can wear hers till then as long as I stick to the rules and times of her choosing. so at the moment she is supporting me :thumbsup:
That's really fantastic. Did you think about inviting her to a nice restaurant? Or offer her a beautiful bunch of flowers?

I am trying to get her to photograph me so that I can get some suggestions on colors from you all but for now, here is a drink to all for the support and advice that I have read to get me to this point :drink::drink:
As much as we would be happy to see your pictures, let me suggest that you have certainly with your wife a better support for dressing and doing your makeup than from us, I think... Other X-dressers suggestions in that matter are great and really appreciated but receiving advice from a woman at birth, and in particular one's spouse is far more efficient... They have a perception that has been trained since infancy...

All the best for the two of you.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Shannen]

I'm happy that your talk turned out well for you both!

I'm sure the sharing of clothes has been discussed before... but that is one thing I don't understand yet. My wife and I both wear the same size skirt and she refuses to trade clothing. If I have a really nice skirt that she also likes and I want her to wear it, it from that point becomes hers! :straightface:

I guess that I have some college roomate fantasy about sharing our clothes out of one big closet or something.... So just remember to ask about any steps that you undertake, what you (we, I) think is not always going to line up in any way with what your spouse thinks.

[Dee Jay]

The sharing of clothes....
One of my wife's biggest problem was that I wore her stuff.
Now that I have stuff of my own I don't wear her stuff.
She still has rules about me not wearing her stuff....

But, she borrow a jumper or a blouse from me :)

I love to see her in my things.

We also have a "fun" collection.
It has 3 sections
We have hers, mine and ours.
I don't go into her stuff and she doesn't go into mine.
The "ours" collection is my favourite ;)

DJ

[Christina Louise]

So happy for you that it turned out so well. They don't seem to be the hardest rules to stick to, so I hope that it's onwards and upwards for you from now on.

[DonnaT]

My wife HAD to share clothes with her sister when they were kids. She doesn't like it to this day.

[Ruth]

MaryJane, your spouse seems keen on rules, you used the word twice in your post. I am all for an agreement about boundaries when one of a couple is a CDer, but I think the key is agreement, not: "you make the rules, I obey them".
Something that I feel has to become apparent to both partners if the CDing within the relationship is to thrive, is that it is not a nasty habit to be tolerated, but a lifestyle and a form of personal growth that should be accommodated (obviously within the social framework that you wish to preserve).
So go along with the "rules" culture for now, but be aware that you are doing something important and worthwhile, and strive for more understanding and acceptance of the CD lifestyle on the part of your spouse.

[TxKimberly]

Awesome start! NOW! Don't push too hard too fast. You can push a woman from "Maybe this aint so bad" to " OMG, what have I got into" in a hurry if you push too hard.

I know that when i told my wife about two weeks into our marriage (now 20 years ago) , that was just about all I spoke of for the next six months and I drove the poor woman nuts! She was the first person in my life I could ever talk to about it and I tried to offload an entire life time of thoughts. worries, hopes, dreams, on her at once. So don't make my mistake - give her a chance to catch her breath once in a while! :-)