Oh Sweet Frustration Come Knocking At My Door.

[TeaPirateFox]

Simply. AH! Just a hint of frustration with the totally idiocy of the general human race at this point.

Alright. I've calmed a bit.

Its not everyone but there are a select few that I'd like to give a good twhack upside the ear and ask them if their mothers ever taught them an OUNCE of respect!

This is basically what happened:

I work at Wal-Mart. Yippee! </sarcasm> ANYWAY. I work in all the departments and today I worked in fabrics which I enjoy most being a designer. I had a woman, while another co-worker was there who definatly is female and represents it beautifully, ask her to cut fabric instead of me. Being the curious little fox I am, I inquired more and it was simply "Well your a boy yes? Men don't cut fabric! They don't know how! You'll just make a mess of it!"

At first I was a little flattered that she thought I was a male, then frustrated at her blatant sexism! I know plenty of men who cut material! And do it WELL!

It ended with me losing, her husband muttering something along the lines of "Fag" under his breath, and my ego a little burned.

Has something like this ever happened to any of you?
Have you ever just wanted to yell "Maybe I AM A GIRL!!!"

After today, I look at men a different way and give them a tad bit more respect seeing as the random and miniscule but ego bruising idiots they must deal with daily.

Those idiots include both genders, Im not about to be sexist myself.

I think I'll go make some tea, sorry for the rant and feel free to respond as you will.

[kerrianna]

Well, at least you totally passed. Even being called fag. Sounds like a charming couple. :rolleyes:

This is one of the reasons it kills me to still be seen as male, and I know you aren't asking from my POV, but that is when I want to yell that out.

Sexism and stereotypes are great oppressors. Without them a lot of us might be able live more happily in a more genderless role. With them being so prevalent, I really feel a need to change myself to fit in with the narrow boxes, and that's not the way it should be.

BTW...just be glad you're not that woman's husband. Even if he wanted to step out of his binary box I bet she would never let him. What a shallow little mind she seems to have. Both of them actually. Bleh. :(

[Tristan]

:hugs:

I'm sorry he was so rude to you. Men can do things as well as women can in most things and vice versa. The social roles really are so dated. But I guess even in that I wouldn't want to yell I'm a girl, but would probably hit him for calling me a fag like that.

[TeaPirateFox]

kerrianna: It will be a rare day that I only ask for one persons viewpoint so don't you worry your sweet little head. I really appreciate your input and its so true. Every last word you said. And very true, he musn't be that happy in his relationship. Or perhaps their so narrowminded together that they match -huffs- I hate how much of a snit they've got me in.: hugs:

Tristant : Its not your problem to apologize for but its appreciated all the same. And the "I'm a girl" thing was a little over the top I'll admit, I am frustrated but feeling much better over some thought. As I've said earlier. I'm a fighter in spirit but my size..ha. Laughable. I can only cause damage when really mad which is rare. But I have kicked a table in half once ^^; :hugs:

[kerrianna]

Maybe you could ask your co-worker next time to insist to the customer that in fact you do a better job at it and let you do it.


People need to have these misconceptions corrected.

If I had been walking by I would have loudly snorted at her remark and scowled at them.

[wanttobejoe]

Maybe next time you should ask if she would also say that to Armani, Versace and whatever famous fashion designers you can come up with.

[Felix]

Hi Max and yes I can as usual with you my friend totally relate :hugs: I have over the past several months literally shouted never mind wanted to shout I'm a woman inside this body and face that looks like a man!!!!! People have no idea really they don't. I'm with ya Hun on all counts!!!! xx Felix :hugs::hugs:

[Abraxas]

Yeah, I've wanted to shout that a few times, under those sorts of circumstances. Or like, if people call me a wimp or whatever because I can't lift as much or run as fast as the other guys, or whatever. Just to qualify things. It's not my fault I can't bench press more than the bar...

Of course, other times I've wanted to shout the opposite; mainly when around my family. Grandma, in particular, who tells me things like 'I can't believe anyone would mistake you for a boy. You're so delicate and pretty.' ARGH.

anyway.

These days I just seethe quietly and plan my revenge.

[Nicki B]

kerrianna: It will be a rare day that I only ask for one persons viewpoint so don't you worry your sweet little head.

*chokes*

Stereotyping, you said?


I think as you get older you get more used to people acting as idiots and realise we can ALL do stupid things.... :roflmao:

[TeaPirateFox]

kerrianna : Doesn't matter anymore. Don't work there anymore. But agreed that people will continue to make these misconceptions if they go uncorrected. And I wish you would have been there, that would have definatly made me laugh.

wanttobejoe : That would work if I knew any famouse fashion designers by name. ><

Felix : I wonder how many hugs you give me in a day lol. And its frustrating really, wanting to be a man, yet being stuck with the limitations of a women.

Abraxas :Just simply agreed.

Nicki : What was the *chokes* for? And I suppose your right, I am still a young pup with a fiery temper. May as I do grow I'll get over little things like this.

[kerrianna]

Nicki [/b] : What was the *chokes* for?

Lol, I think Nicki thought you saying 'your sweet little head" was stereotypical, and it was and I would have ripped your arms off as a good card carrying feminist, but to tell you the truth I have betrayed the cause and I LOVED that you said that because growing up as a male there was no way anyone would ever have called my head sweet and little and yet I always wished someone would say things like that and maybe you sensed that and that's why you said that because I know a sensitive guy like you would never say anything like that to a woman in general because they might in fact rip your arms off, but I do want to thank you for knowing what I like and I do want to thank Nicki for standing up for women everywhere who feel patronized, but sorry Nicki, because I never heard this in my life I do kinda like it, I know I let the side down, what can you do, and do I get some kind of award for, like, one of the longest run-on sentence ever posted on this site, although I am sure that there must have been people who have run on much longer than I, but I doubt they were quite as clever and cute as myself, and see Nicki, I perpetuate the cute little airhead image myself and like I said I kind of like it when a cute pirate like Maxik, and he IS cute!, indulges me knowing full well that as a male bodied female that I probably never in fact got any of that 'sweet little head' talk, even though as a feminist I really should rip his hunky arms off him, but I am such a traitor to the cause I'd rather just snuggle up in those manly arms and let him hold and protect me, and I hope you realize Max that if you are going to be so chauvinistic that you will have to follow through because the last thing a princess wants is a knight who drops her like a hot potato when the going gets tough and the knight gets going, but I sense you are not like that at all and would die for me, literally die for me, which makes it alright that you tell me not to worry my sweet little head, and now do I win for the best run on sentence, because I could keep on going, but maybe I shouldn't because another stereotype of women is that they talk talk talk, which in fact I do quite well, a regular chatty Cathy as a matter of fact, I out talk natal females, which of course some guys can do, especially talking about themselves, but I do have the gift of the gab as my grandfather liked to say and maybe that's because I am part Irish, speaking of stereotypes, but maybe it's more because I am full of myself, which in the end is maybe more the reason I like and can handle being baby talked from cute pirate dudes, because, let's face it, Max IS cute, like I said, and he's smart and he's Canadian so he can treat me like his sweet and cute and slow bimbo any day and ONLY you Max, well maybe you and some of the other guys, well maybe all you guys, well maybe I really am a bad example to my sisters so yeah treat me that way but watch what you say to other women because yeah some of them will rip more than your arms off and so they should but not me because like I said growing up male I never had ANYTHING said to me like that, and I am ready to accept all of the pandering so watch out Max, well you're lucky because I'm not available but if I was, you would be paying big time for me but of course it would be all worth it to you and I think you know that and that's why you knew you could call my little head sweet and not only would I not mind it but in fact love it and all good sentences must sometime come to an end and this is it. :happy:

[Nicki B]

....see Nicki, I perpetuate the cute little airhead image myself

Mmm. But you're not, though.. :winking:

[TeaPirateFox]

Kerrianna : O.O Wow. That was a mouthful! But you are what you are now. A woman, and a fine woman. And women should be treated as princesses. As delicate individuals. Not saying thats how it is, that their delicate and weak. But a women is a beautiful thing and no matter what should be treated with the utmost love and dignity. And cute eh? Well now I'm just blushing. And as for manly arms? Oh! You definatly are after something.

Nicki : It was never meant to be a stereotypical thing. I'm just an old fashion guy I guess, as I said. Women are to be treated as princesses and delicate . Not because their weak but just because they are icons of beauty. To be treated with the utmost respect.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

So sorry you had to put up with that kind of BS, Max. :thumbsdn: So unfortunate that people can be so narrow.


After today, I look at men a different way and give them a tad bit more respect seeing as the random and miniscule but ego bruising idiots they must deal with daily.

I had a similar eye-opening experience earlier this year when I was walking home from a friend's house to my dorm at 2 a.m.ish, and two of the girls from my floor were walking about six yards in front of me. We were clearly headed to the same place, and I thought nothing of it (I recognized them) but they kept darting glances back at me and then looking at each other and sped up. I didn't notice at first, but then I thinking, "Huh?" The closer we got to the door, the more scared they looked like they were getting, and finally I was like, "Hey guys... what's up?" Only then did they see it was me (and not some creepy stalker guy) and said, "Oh... it's just RJ... oh wow you scared us... we thought you were some random guy following us!"

Which I do understand, but then again... I could've been one of the guys from a floor down who use the same door. I wonder how many nice normal guys experience women being afraid of them randomly?

[Nicki B]

Which I do understand, but then again... I could've been one of the guys from a floor down who use the same door. I wonder how many nice normal guys experience women being afraid of them randomly?

All of them. Realise also that you are now also a paedophile until proven innocent, and are unlikely to be allowed on your own with small children, apart from close family? :sad:

[TeaPirateFox]

All of them. Realise also that you are now also a paedophile until proven innocent, and are unlikely to be allowed on your own with small children, apart from close family? :sad:

Uh?

I feel like I've missed something here.

[Cai]

People don't trust men with children. Either we'll screw it up and let them get hurt, or we'll hurt them. No idea where this comes from, but it's definitely out there. I see it fairly often, because I love talking/interacting with kids, but their parents don't like to let them near me.

[Nicki B]

And you have to get used to not letting yourself get into situations where the accusation could be made.... :sad:

Really, really horrible, but a sign of the age we live in.

[Cai]

It concerns me, really, Nicki, because I want to work as a pediatric oncologist, but parents tend to be even more paranoid about sick kids. My patients and their families wouldn't know I'm trans, but the fact that I'm gay would probably get around. And that makes me even worse for being around kids. Who wants a gay doctor being around defenseless kids?

[Tobie]

I wouldn't care if I had a gay doctor around my children.

I hate these gender stereotypes, they make me so angry.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

I was referring more to women being afraid of men because they were concerned about an attack, sexual assault or rape... which are all very serious and real concerns, especially on a college campus.

However, that experience showed me how men, too, can be hurt by those things.

[Cai]

I wouldn't care if I had a gay doctor around my children.

I hate these gender stereotypes, they make me so angry.

Me too. I guess the only thing to do is go out there and be good people, help others see that we're not all psychos and child molesters.



However, that experience showed me how men, too, can be hurt by those things.
Definitely. It's like Lex's other post about how women treat him differently now. There's definitely an undercurrent of fear. And I bet that some of the flirting is subconsciously motivated by fear - if I can make him want me, I can control him.

[kerrianna]

To me, this is where a lot of trans-angst (not all of it of course) comes from... the assumptions that people make, rightly or wrongly, in our society.

Because as a trans person, if we are NOT passing, then we get tagged with the gender cliches of the WRONG sex and it doubly hurts. It's bad enough to be assumed to be a potential rapist because I am seen as male (and btw I understood a long time ago why some women begin with that pov, and I actually agree with some of the logic of it, although I think it's a fearful and negative way of operating and I feel sorry that people think that way), but it hurts way more because I am NOT male, so it's like a double slap.

Even 'jokes' that are based on gender stereotypes are way more painful to a trans person. It not only reminds you that you weren't born with the correct anatomy, but that because of the way you were born you have certain 'idiosyncracies" or "deficiencies" based on gender cliches.

I really hate the Men are from Mars Women are from Venus thing. No. We're ALL from EARTH!!! :Angry3:


Oh, right....I'm supposed to be delicate. :p

:cute:

[Cai]

Even 'jokes' that are based on gender stereotypes are way more painful to a trans person. It not only reminds you that you weren't born with the correct anatomy, but that because of the way you were born you have certain 'idiosyncracies" or "deficiencies" based on gender cliches.


Uh-huh. One of my friends, the night we went clubbing, tried to rough my hair up. I kinda yelled out, because I'd spent about 15 minutes spiking it just right, and couldn't re-do it. She goes "Oh, you're such a girl sometimes!" It took just about all of my self-control to go "Am not!" right back at her (although, really, you'd think she'd have guessed from the way I was dressed that I don't do girly).

[CaptLex]

Definitely. It's like Lex's other post about how women treat him differently now. There's definitely an undercurrent of fear. And I bet that some of the flirting is subconsciously motivated by fear - if I can make him want me, I can control him.
Really? :shocked: I hadn't thought of that . . . :thinking:

[CaptLex]

I gave further thought to Cai's point above after seeing a discussion on TV this week where it was said that women are raised to always be nice, therefore they don't want to be rude by standing their ground or defending themselves, and they think if they are friendly and non-confrontational, a possible attacker will spare them. But (according to a so-called expert), that actually stacks the odds against them not in their favor, because would-be attackers will target them faster than a woman who backs away and doesn't care if she's perceived as rude.

Food for thought there, I think, whether any of that is true or not (and I believe there's an element of truth there). It also made me think how some trans people will put up with rude, insensitive and intrusive comments from people who think it's their place to tell us how they feel about us because we want to be patient and understanding so people will like us and/or get us. But there's a limit, and when people don't know where the boundaries are, it's up to us to show them - whether we're talking about rape, assault or intrusive comments and questions.

[Nicki B]

But there's a limit, and when people don't know where the boundaries are, it's up to us to show them - whether we're talking about rape, assault or intrusive comments and questions.

Mmm. Just be careful? When I objected (verbally) to a gay guy repeatedly trying to screw a pool cue up my ass, I got smacked in the face. :straightface:

But at least I was big enough to then put him in a headlock.. :(