Think I Was outed today

[marny]

I think I am being a little bit reckless about keeping things hiden. On the ither hand it may be intentional. My wife has known for 4 years. One of my good male friends knows and I think alot of our other friends suspect. I had a question today from my sisters mother-in -law. She was wondering if crossdreesers or TX were homosexsual. I steered her strait but I think I was a little to emphatic in my response and probably confirmed her suspision.. But worse things could happen to you. I'm so close, I've decided to come out next week.. I'm sure not everyone will like it 'but I know some won;t be surprised. The toughest part is if my wife can deal with it! Marny

[Joni Beauman]

Perhaps if you are not sure if your wife can "take it", you should wait? Joni

[trannie T]

Talk it over with your wife, she will have to deal with your decision, she deserves to have a voice in it.

[Charlotte Cross]

Marny, you mentioned that your wife has known for 4 years but didn't say how she felt about it or how it has affected your relationship. Positive, negative, or not discussed?

Seems to me the best thing to do is run it by her first and see how it would sit with her. She may already feel like less of a woman, as I'm sure many wives of cd's do. That is, the wives who know and either barely tolerate it or don't want to see you dressed at all. If there's any negativity already involved, it could push her over the edge.

Remember, you have to live with her and not your friends or in-laws. She should be the first one you talk to concerning any life changing decisions.

[DonnaT]

I agree, your wife should have a say as well.

Maybe, if your wife knows that she'll be free to talk about it with family, she'll be OK with the coming out. That is, if she's not been free to talk about it already. Some of us know that a burden is lifted from our shoulders when we become free to talk about it. She may feel the same way.

I told my wife she could tell whomever she wants, but she's decided to keep it a secret. So you never know, but you should give her the chance to have some control in who knows. IMHO.

[Kate Simmons]

Just be careful Hon. My wife knew about it for years and kept it under wraps as long as I stayed in the "closet". It was only when I decided to "come out" that everything went South. Good luck.:happy:

[Sedona]

Marny,

I agree with others here. If your wife is happy, you're happy.

[Christina Louise]

You have to discuss it with your wife first because she will also be affected by the reaction from other people in both your lives. It's not fair if someone asks her about how she feels or how it affects your relationship because these may be things that she doesn't want to discuss with others.

[phyllis47]

Hang tough... Suspecting and knowing are two different things.... I would not come out if your wife is not comfortable...

[JoAnnDallas]

I think my older sister may know about me or supects. My sister lived with us for about three months until her new house was ready. Wife told me one day my sister made a comment that she should not be allowing me to wear women clothing. My sister had seen me wearing my Hanes t-shirts, shorts, and fem sandals many times. So she knew they were fem clothing. Wife told her it was none of her business and she was Ok with what I was wearing. My sistr dropped the subject but occasionly makes comments even today. LOL
She never saw my polished toes but knew I got the polished when I went to my nail salon. I once asked her if she would like to go with me. She quickly refused.

[marny]

TY .Good advice from all. It is her life too so she is entitled to be part of the decision. My point had more to do with the fact that I was asked a very leading question. I think others are trying to open the door.

[AlyssaT]

I have come out to all my friends and family (I'm not married, btw). Everyone was accepting.

Of course, my friends and family are all intelligent, open-minded people. I am told that not everyone is like that. Apparently, there are people who voted for Bush.

Good luck!

[Nigella]

Being "outed" is one thing, telling the world is another.

I was ready to tell the world years before I did, why did I wait? Simply because my wife was not ready. Once you let the cat out of the bag, you will never get it back in, Dont put your wife through this unless you have agreed with her it is the right thing to do.